will he ever come back to his senses?

Mbali - posted on 12/01/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi mommies!!!I'm 21 and my bd is 45 and we met in a very odd place and way,I was an escort and he was my loyal client he grew feelings for me constantly asking me to be his gf but I kept saying no because of the girls he tells me about and how every escort knew him as the rich guy with a big penis,anyway,one night the condom burst and he came inside me and when we discovered that mistake I responded with how I'll go get morning afters the next morning and asked him to drop me off at the pharmacy,in the morning he refused to take me there instead he kept me in his house for 4days then drops me off at home...I got my period at the end of that month,a month later I went to durban with my best friend on a vacation I found out there that I was pregnant he was already sending me romantic texts,when I called him to let him know I was pregnant he was pretty excited and said I should come back to jhb asap,and so I did and as soon as I landed in jhb I tried to call him n text him that I'm back he didn't reply to any of them,then after two weeks he calls to see me,he spoke of how we should be together and that he loves me but when I bring up the pregnancy topic he brushes it off by saying its not his child,so then we started seeing each other then suddenly goes mia on me for 2months only to break the ice with a call saying how he needs me,he had lost his business and he's depressed..I rushed to his house where I found him unbathed and ungroomed watching soccer,depressed so then I helped him get his business back and he was soon himself again and this was all done in one day btw,he was the most loving man,he treated me with kidness and we were even looking at houses to buy and planning to move in together,his kids loved me then when he went mia on me for a week I went to his house to see if he's ok,he angrily asked me what I wanted in his house only to find out he was getting ready to go see an escort in pta...I was hurt and disappointed I left n he proceeded to send me hateful messages calling me a whore n saying he would never make a prostitute pregnant and I should go bother the real father and not contact him ever...this really hurt me cause I loved him and took care of him when he was down,the sad part Is I can't work now cause I'm 6months and showing and I have no car or my own place and I can't afford proper health care and let alone survive...I don't know what to do right now

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Dove - posted on 12/01/2014

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He's a pathetic loser and he played you. All you can really do is pick yourself up and carry on w/ your life for you and your child. Perhaps there are resources available in your country to help you... Or friends or family members that can help you until the baby is born and you can get a different job. Hang in there!

Michelle - posted on 12/01/2014

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I'm with the other poster. Getting a business back on track in 1 day, I don't think so.
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you? I think you need to find another job and make some decisions about your future without him.

Guest - posted on 12/01/2014

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In what country do you live? I am assuming South Africa?

Honestly, it sounds like he has already come to his senses, and realizes you are not a complication he is willing to add to his life at this time.

In most countries it is illegal to keep a person in a home against their will--even if keeping you hostage in his home for 4 days IS legal where you live, it should have been a sign that this guy is mentally unstable.

Second, no man will ever marry an escort. I'm sure he SAID he would, and he will continue to SAY he has "real" feelings for you, and wants to marry you, but he never will. Men will pretend there could be more to build an emotional excitement, but he will never actually want you as a wife. He'll take you to look at houses to make you smile and give you something to look forward to, but something will always come along as an excuse for him not to buy the house, not to have the wedding, and so on and so on. Dreaming about a happy life with a cute, young girl is fun, but he isn't going to put in the effort to actually make it happen with an escort.

Third, he lies about much bigger things than your relationship. You don't lose a business and get it back all within the course of a day. Unless that was a VERY illegal business, that didn't happen.

Your best bet is to cut him out of your life. If you plan to keep the child, get a DNA test and follow your country's processes for financial support. If you plan to give the child up, go ahead an contact orphanages and agencies that place babies.

I don't know what happened to your home or your car, but you need to get a place to stay and establish a reliable income if you are going to raise the child yourself. And just forget about the loser. Only losers use escorts, and only truly pathetic losers have to brag about their dick size, and only the trash of the world would EVER talk about how much money he does or doesn't have (and chances are, if he felt the need to brag about how much money he has, it's probably a lie and he's got next to nothing.)

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