Carol - posted on 08/04/2016 ( 17 moms have responded )
My son is 18 yrs old, was diagnosed with adhd. He tried meds but refused to take them because he was losing weight and not able to eat. His junior year his grades began to drop , not horrible but concerning. His senior year was an absolute disaster. He was either tardy or absent 190 days that year, flunking all but one class.
For two years he constantly stole money from my purse, he stole money from his grandmas purse . It's so bad I now sleep with my purse, he has taken my credit card and charge items,and forged checks in my name
He got caught getting into cars at school stealing money and personal effects. The police came arrested him, finger prints and all,he was suspended from school. He was smoking pot excessively, a couple of times a day. His pot use was excessive and worrisome. We made him get a job,since he wasn't focusing on his studies and all he did was get high in his spare time. We talked to him several times about not stealing, don't steal we explained they have cameras and you will surely get caught,so don't even think about, Three weeks into his job he got fired for stealing money from the cash register on three separate occasions and again the police came. When I confronted him he had no remorse and didn't think he would get caught. Why would a kid do this, he's on probation for the last burglary?He now has two charges against him as an adult, one for burglary and the other for theft and his not caring attitude was chilling and disturbing to say the least .
. We made him go to therapy. The psychologist felt he had a substance abuse problem and wanted to focus on getting him clean as opposed to addressing his adhd and severe anxiety. She felt he was stealing to get money to buy drugs. A year and a half of therapy, The drug use continued , the behavior unacceptable. We have since moved out of state and my son has lives with me. He no longer has his drug connections, great I'm thinking, no more stealing for drug money. The first week we were here we went shopping. We came home and he went to his room, I went to talk to him and found him emptying his pockets with at least 6 different items.
He had shoplifted! My son is on probation for two other theft and burglary charges and was told by the judge if he steals again he is headed for jail and he feels compelled to steal again? , what would possess him to take such a chance? He again had no remorse. He looked at me like what's the big deal!!! He's noting stealing just to buy pot, he's a bonafied thief.
Grant is also a pathological liar. You can catch him red handed and he will look you in the face and boldly lie. He can not take no for an answer if you ask him to do something or restrict him take something away for punishment, it's crazy. He becomes very angry, yells , swears, pick furniture up and throws it. He will make a scene out in public and could care less if people stop and stare. I never raise my,voice, but,our arguments last for hours. He tries to wear you down to get you to change your mind, he repeats himself over and over again, if I leave the room and tell him I'm not arguing anymore he will follow me to continue he swears at me, uses the f word, tells me I don't care about him,threatens to kill himself.... It's maddening. His dad and I were sure that he has major character flaws and deep sited issues. He grew up in an affluent family, did we spoil him, did we not teach him the difference between right and wrong? What did we do to this kid for him to act this way?
I took him to see a a psychologist here in Florida and she did a 2 hour interview and called me in to discuss. She said, he has no impulse control and doesn't understand the consequences of his actions, he smokes pot because he is self medicating because of his anxiety issue. Consistent with adhd. Many teens will turn to drugs when suffering with adhd. Why is he not on meds she asked? I told her that the dr. In Iowa wanted to focus on getting his substance abuse under control first before we started meds. She disagreed, I highly recommend you get him on meds to help with his impulsiveness. Treat the anxiety and he won't have the need to self medicate. Of course I thought to my self, how could I have been so blind. I was thinking adhd was a focusing issue, and the impulsiveness and not understanding consequences were more social issues...You know, speaking before thinking, verbal faux paus never imagined that it could to criminal activity.
For the first time in two years I have hope. We have an appointment with a dr in 6 weeks and if given meds he will stop the stealing!!! Great, I,think to my self.
I just happen to find his website today and I'm horrified reading the posts where many of you face the the same problems, lieing, cheating and stealing... While On meds and it continues. Does it not help with the impulsiveness? Are we doomed to have a a young man destined to go to jail because he can't control himself and doesn't understand the consequences of his actions ? Scared mom in Florida. Broken hearted.