Will it be wrong to leave my baby's dad because I'm not happy?

Lilly - posted on 01/18/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm 7months pregnant with out first and we haven't had sex in a month.He says that there's something wrong with me for wanting sex at least once a week.We used to be intimate almost every second night,now nothing.He says nothing is wrong he just doesn't feel like it.I know I have picked up weight with the pregnancy and my boobs aren't the same they used to be,to be honest nothing on my body is the same it used to be,but am I so disgusting to him that he can't touch me?I tried talking to him about it but it just turns into a huge fight where he calls me crazy and F-up.I have never in my life felt so ugly and repulsive,I started having feelings of resentment toward my child as I felt he was the reason for the sudden change.But I know that's wrong and I hate myself for ever feeling that way.Lately it has come to mind that perhaps he's cheating and that he is only with me for our child.Should I stay or should I go?Will it be selfish of me to break up my baby's home (before he even had one) because I need to be loved?What must I do?Please someone help..I am filled with these mixed feelings of hate,shame,regret and extreme sadness..I don't want to feel this way anymore.Please help?

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Jodi - posted on 01/18/2014

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Ok, a guy not having sex with you for a month when you are pregnant is NOT treating you badly. You may find that it isn't about you at all, it is about him and how he feels at the moment. Maybe he feels he might hurt the baby - that isn't uncommon in men.

If everything was good up until he didn't really feel like sex with you right now, then I don't think sex is a good reason to just suddenly break up with him. Let's just say that in a long term relationship, sex will be up and down. If you decide to break up with someone every time the sex isn't happening, you won't stay with someone very long, and to be quite honest, makes you pretty shallow.

Who said you are so disgusting to him he won't touch you? YOU did, not him. He has said nothing is wrong. And it probably isn't. You want to talk about it, he doesn't.

You say you need to be loved but sex is not love....sex is just sex. If you are feeling ashamed of your pregnant body and you are feeling hate like this, maybe you could do with talking to someone, because these feelings are clearly interfering with your relationship.

Susann - posted on 01/18/2014

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Oh, and no one knows your setuation, so no one can tell you to stay or go. Just becareful of the pregnancy hormones. And speak to him about how you feel. I wrote a letter to my hubby.

Susann - posted on 01/18/2014

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Hi,

I felt the same with my first. They are scared to be intimate because they are not fully informed. I hated everyday, cried everyday, it was really terrible.

Its just a few more weeks. Hold on, things will get better.

And I don't know your setuation, but doubt he is cheating.

And your not fat you are pregnant. I am 30 weeks now with the second and its really much better this time.

Hold on, we all went through it. And when baby is there, there is more things you need to work on. Its life changing for the better. But remember. Now you need to be a mother and a father and also a wife and husband. Very hard. But need to do it.

Good luck and just hold on a bit.

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