will it make me look like a bad mother?

Rhiannon - posted on 08/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello mummies, im 17 and have a daughter a little over a year old, me and my partner have been together just over three year's but since I had my daughter I've apparently "changed" before I got pregnant I was " alternative" "emo" or whichever you prefer to call it, so piercings etc.... but since becoming pregnant and having my little girl ive stopped dressing like that for fear of being called a bad parent? I know it sounds silly but people are really judgemental these day? My partner no longer finds me attractive since it was the alternative side that attracted him in the first place and I keep finding pictures etc of all these "alternative, tattoo covered woman" its put pressure on my relationship as im terrified he'll leave me for someone like that.i hate knowing that he doesn't like me as much as he used to but part of me also thinks he should accept me how I am. I want to make him happy but I also dont want people judging me either, being a young mum its difficult enough to avoid the spiteful comments people throw at you. What are your opinions?

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Crystal - posted on 08/22/2013

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he should love you for who you are but you are still young and even though you are mother you're still growing up and are changing. if you still want to be alternative still that's your decision and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. you will be a good mother no matter what you dress like. if you hide who you actually are you will eventually become unhappy.. and end up showing your lil girl that she needs to hide her true self and act like someone she isn't. you will be a good mother no matter what :) just be you and love her. I hope I made sense and helped you :)

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Crystal - posted on 08/22/2013

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your growing up and he isn't.. the way you are describing his actions it seems like he is mentally/verbally abusing you. you don't need that and neither does your lil girl need to see it. I am not trying to tell you to break it off with him that's not my place but you deserve better. your situation reminds me of a girl I knew. she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend/ father of her children and she was happier for it. in her relationship she had lost herself and become a shell of herself but after she left him she found her self again and became a stronger women and ended up being a much better mom.(not that she wasn't a bad mom before) now she has a man the loves her more then anything and loves and takes care of her boys.

Rhiannon - posted on 08/22/2013

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Thank you I think its more about pleasing , I like the way I dress bow, its comfortable and much cheaper than alternative style, but he hates it he takes the mick and if we're out hes constantly checking out other girls without trying to hide it and saying how hot they are to my face! and I end up crying and he just laughs and says im being childish and jealous and to get over it, I don't want to go back to how I used to be it wasn't a good place but im terrified if I don't he's going to cheat or something awful like that, he makes me feel bad about myself, calls me names etc and he never used to do that, he was always sweet and lovely abd absolutely adored me but sincr the baby hes just I don't even know....

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