will my mom be offended if I introduce my step mom as mom?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Tobie - posted on 08/18/2011
Many people call their mothers-in-law, "mom"...what's the difference. If your mom gets offended by what you call your step-mom, that's HER problem, not yours.
Now if you are introducing both moms at the same time, you should start with your bio mom first and then your stepmom. This is my mom, Jessica, and my other mom, Jennifer.
With so many divorce/remarriage situations out there now, moms just need to get over it. A kid can have 2 moms...it's ok.
This conversation has been closed to further comments
Tobie - posted on 05/12/2012
Kim, many step-moms "put aside anything and everything for themselves to make sure their children are safe". I know I did. I went without "luxury" stuff to make sure my step-kids were not only taken care of while with me and their dad, but to make sure they had a good time while they were here too. Just because the word "step" is attached to "mom" doesn't mean that person does anything less than a biomom does, or loves the kids less.
Kim - posted on 02/21/2012
My question is, if you had children and they had a step mom and introduced her as their mom, how would you feel? Depending on what part your Mom, or Step Mom play in your life will make a difference on how it could be taken by either Mom. There are some Mom's that don't have anything to do with their children and still get upset over the Step mom being called "MOM'. When I divorced my first husband, I knew there would come a time our daughter would be faced with being put in the middle...pressured by one part for her to refer as the step mom as "MOM" even if she hasn't done any mothering. I think parents should put their childrens feeling first and not put them in the middle. Every Mom or Dad (cause dad's have the same concerns as mom's when it comes to this subject.). Got to put your personal feelings aside for your children. Know the day will come when they see you cared more for them, then you did your own pride and thank you for it in time...which can come in many forms.
If your concerned of how your Mother will feel, ask her...and let her know why you feel you should call your step mom "Mom"...I do think that "Tobi" said this well
"Now if you are introducing both moms at the same time, you should start with your bio mom first and then your stepmom. This is my mom, Jessica, and my other mom, Jennifer" I believe it's the best way to handle the situation. But to ask any mother to GET OVER IT...isn't called for...there are some mothers that have put aside anything and everything for themselves to make sure their children are safe, and don't degrade the absent parent since their child(ren) are a part of each parent...absent or not...every child has the right to learn for themselves what their parents are like...(as long as it isn't one where they are put in a bad situation).
Learning to HOW to LOVE and to BE LOVED should be one of the main goals......and it shouldn't descrimenate to which parent, step or not. Besides, it's better if all the parents get a long for the children if for no other reason. Or ATLEAST TRY TO.
Bonnie - posted on 04/02/2010
I would hope not, but you know your Mom. The real challenge wll be what the child call each one. Some women want to be the only "Grandma" the child has. The other one or ones have to be something different. What really counts is the quality of the relationship between the child and that particular woman. People have an infinite capacity to love, and loving one person doesn't mean you can't love another. I hope your Mom realizes that.
Shannon - posted on 04/01/2010
Not to sure if this helps but I have the same situation but with Dads, Each of our parent figures have a special name, Nanna, Poppa, Pa, Grandma and Granddad. I find this help and my girls think they are special cause they have so many grand-parents.
Rebekkah - posted on 04/01/2010
I think it how you feel and raise. My mom and stepmom all 4 of us kids called her mom. My dad remarried I never called her mom or step mom I called her by her name. I am a step mom and a mom. My kids call me mom my huband kids call me Mama Becka and the oldest just calls me Becka.
Hope that helps
Andrea - posted on 04/01/2010
More than likely! But it all depends on your relationships with both. I am a step mum to 3 (and step-granny to one of their children too) as well as being a mum to my own daughter. The mother of my step-children instructed them to call her new husband "daddy" so when I married their father it was only natural that they wanted to call me mum. I have since divorced their father and am now with a new partner but they still call me mum and my parents grandma and grandad. As far as i am concerned it comes down to what is most confortable for the children as long as they understand the relationships involved. Being a mother doesn't automatically make you a mum.
September - posted on 04/01/2010
I would hope not but then again I guess it would depend on the situation. Maybe you could talk to your Bio Mom beforehand. I called my step Mom Mom and do it in the presence of my Bio Mom and she does not mind at all. My step Mom raised me starting at the age of 7 and has always treated me and sister like her own. I know that my Bio Mom is very thankful that my step Mom has been there for us girls therefore she takes no offense to me calling both of them Mom. There will always be something different about my Bio Mom because she is the one who brought me into this world but I have the same amount of love for the both of them. I'm just thankful for them in different ways. :)
Lorie - posted on 04/01/2010
I agree with Jackie. It all depends on how you say it. I really think you should say it the way Jackie wrote it. My son has a step dad and he calls him dad as well. I would just my mom to get over it and you have to look at it as there are more people to love you.
hope this helps
Stevie - posted on 04/01/2010
idk i think that just depends i mean its ok to have two moms and if you see her as a mom then thats ok but i think it depends on who you are introducing your step mom to if we can just have a little bit more info then maybe i can help more but it depends alot on what the situation is and the relationship with you your mom your step mom and your mom and your step mom good luck i hope i have helped some
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms