Will My teenage son ever love me again?

SISSY - posted on 12/24/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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As I sit here and read these posts, tears run down my face from the familiarity. My 17 year old son has always been the love of my life, and I raised him by myself without any support of his father. Me and my son use to be so close, now I dont know what or who he is. He will not do anything to help me and I am on disability. He calls me fat and ugly and tells me he hates me. Now this is a Christian boy who always was compasionate and caring. Now all he cares for is his friends and just says horrible things to me and seems to have no reasoning. He has broken my heart and I feel hopeless. I do pray and I hope God intervenes soon because I cant take much more. I feel so alone. I am alone.

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Anna - posted on 04/17/2016

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I know exactly what your going through. Please talk to me. I don't think many people u derstand unless they have raised a good Christian boy as a single parent alone that had an amazing relationship to us now wondering if he will ever love us again. I'm crying and I feel your words they could be my own. Just like you, I worked 25 years and was a career mom but made it to every soccer practice, football game. I never went out or had a life my son was my life. Our weekends would consist of his friends coming over and going crabbing, fishing, boating, go-karting, laser tag, basically you name it we did it. I raised him going to church too. I know exactly how you feel. I want to talk to you so bad. My son is smart and he doesn't want anything to do with his father and I don't blame him.
I make a lot of money even on disability but I'm just recognizing how we both have the same story (except you didn't have parents that took him from you and brainwashed him). I have more hope for you than I do for myself. I'm the youngest out of three sisters and have the first grandchild and only boy. My parents I'm just starting to speak too but my sister was part of what happened and I feel she has a big hand in his life like going away on holidays and she doesn't invite me. So with my family alienating me it's going to take a miraculous miracle for him to have the strength to feel he can say I love my mom..and that's if he even does. I honestly believe they destroyed the love he had for me and they way he looked up to me. I'm treated like garbage by all of them. I don't put up with i t anymore which causes more division. Please help..I need someone to talk too

Anna - posted on 04/17/2016

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I know exactly what your going through. Please talk to me. I don't think many people u derstand unless they have raised a good Christian boy as a single parent alone that had an amazing relationship to us now wondering if he will ever love us again. I'm crying and I feel your words they could be my own.

Anna - posted on 04/17/2016

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Wow..I'm in the same exact boat. Three years ago my parents basically kidnapped him from me. Then tried to take him legally. They did not win and I never lost sole custodianship. However, my parents never returned him and have done everything possible to keep us apart until he was 18 (orders of protection,etc). Yes! I know the law should of been helping me or the 15k I spent on a lawyer should of filed for immediate return. He is now 19. He started to come around after he turned 18. We live in the same town. I was very hurt after raising him on my own and having the best relationship with him that he allowed them to control him. Through last year it was obvious he wouldn't cross my family and stick up for me. He was not even able to express his love for me or spend much time with me. It got worst as the year progressed. By December I went into a slump that was the worse ever. I'm just coming out of it. My son won't even speak to me. Obviously, my family has control over him and they didn't think twice about alienating me once they got a hold of him. Like you, I'm so heartbroken I could die. I don't understand it. I mean we weren't just close we were close close where situations arose in the past and my family would take control and overstep boundaries. I never stood up to them because I didn't want to upset my son. How stupid I was. I spend holidays alone. I cry everyday. I have gone on disability about a year before he was taken after being in a car accident. I know my family looks down on disability and I wonder if both of our sons lost respect for us because we no longer work? I see your post is from a few years ago so I'm hoping you can fill me in on what's up to date. I don't feel like I can live without him. I sacrificed my every being for my son. I provided a home at 27 after having him at 22. I traveled the world with him. We have done everything together. I don't understand how he could want absolutely nothing to do with me. Have I got angry this past year and said how could you? Yes. But it's the truth..I've never heard of such a thing but I also know his peers the last few years have done nothing but alienate me and put me down. I'm hurting so bad I don't want to live.

Starsampj - posted on 07/22/2015

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Hi I have a 16 year old son who has been hurting me since my divorce to his father in December of this year. I also have a disability MS and my son knows I'm limited on what I can do so he pushes me down Etc. I had no choice but to call 911 last week. He is currently in the hospital on the psych ward. I live in Ct and this was my only choice. My son has special needs, he is severally developmentally delayed. He has told me he hates me as he is hurting me. I'm sorry I know this doesn't help you however I was hoping you could help me please. I don't know how to post my questions and problems on this site., If you could please text me to starsampj@cox.net or this site I would be so grateful. Thank you Star

Jodi - posted on 12/25/2014

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So your 17 year old son has already had you bail him out of jail. May I ask for what? And how long did you let him sit there before you bailed him out? Long enough to give thought to what he did to be there in the first place?

You have very much answered your own question as to why he is like this. "he always gets what he needs and wants"; " I always put his needs ahead of mine". Have another look at these statements and think about what lessons you have taught him. Children should NOT get everything they want. He has had you at his beck and call all his life, getting whatever he wants. Did you ever say no to him?

SISSY - posted on 12/25/2014

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I've tried to encourage him to meet his father and to see how things go. I have given up so much of me for my son and he always gets what he needs and wants through my family and myself. I worked in a bar and bought us a house 15 years ago and put myselft through school so i could be a better mom, "not just a mom who works in a bar." I always put his needs ahead of mine and his friends are some that I have tried to keep him away from because they party do drugs, drink, etc.....I have had to pay to get him out of jail at one point. I don't know what i have done wrong.

Jodi - posted on 12/25/2014

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I am so sorry your son is treating you like this, that's not ok. Is this a sudden change, or has it been gradually? Is there anything in particular that happened (i.e. has he been in touch with his father recently after having no support from him in years; have you been unsupportive of any choices he is making; does he have a new group of friends?). Just trying to help you seek some answers.

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