Woman, not mom, seeing 2nd grade boys in showers

Marybeth - posted on 02/22/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son is a second grader. Recently he and about five of his friends, all in second grade, were in a shower room after a pool party. From outside I could hear that there was some misbehavior in the shower and that my son was involved. So I stepped in and corrected him - nothing serious, typical 7 yr. boy stuff involving snapping a towel at the others. I was afraid that they would be running and someone would slip.

After I stepped out another mother took me aside and said that she was unhappy with me, that a 7 yr old should only be seen naked by his own mother, not by other women.

Was she right? Was it wrong for me to see boys, not my own, naked? I have no problem with other women - his friends' moms, teenage baby sitters, etc. seeing my son naked. To me, it seems perfectly normal for a female (mom, baby sitter, mom's friends and friends' mom, etc.) to see boys much older naked.

Marybeth

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Michelle - posted on 02/22/2014

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That is taking it to the extreme Tina. My children have seen each other naked but now my boys are becoming more self conscious and don't let their sister see them anymore and even hide from me, but that's a part of growing up.
The human body is nothing to be ashamed of and I think we need to educate our children that everyone is different so they will be more accepting of those that are different.

Ann - posted on 02/23/2014

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I am very modest, perhaps even prudish. However, I would have done the same thing as Marybeth (gone into the shower) and, had I been one of the other boys mothers, would have had no objection. A similar thing happened when my son was in the 4th grade. At a pool there were a number of boys in the boys shower room, and the mother of a 1st grader had to go in to stop some misbehavior involving her son. I was waiting outside, I had absolutely no objection.
As a family, we are modest. My son and my daughter can bathe themselves, and take baths separately. My son, like other boys, went through the “mommy, you can’t come in here, I’m naked” stage. However, when he was 16, got home from camping, and his father was away from home, came to me with a bug bite on his scrotum. It did not bother him to let me examine it, and to let a nurse friend (who he knew only as the mom of a friend) look at it and the rest of his “privates” to check for other bits. She suggested an over-the-counter ointment, which my son used and which cleared up the bites. (Another one on his thigh). Then he let me and my nurse friend examine them to make sure they were really healed.
Although I believe and practice modesty, I see no problem with moms, and girls who are baby sitting, seeing the private parts of unrelated boys. Boys, after a certain age, will insist on modesty which should be respected, as long as they are behaving while bathing. But there are circumstances where they will be seen by females. They need to understand that too.

Michelle - posted on 02/22/2014

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I don't have a problem with it either but I guess everyone is different. Some people see nudity as wrong and something to be ashamed about and others freely go naked.
I think because you were actually parenting and trying to subdue the boys she over reacted. Would she have said that you could have told them off when you first heard it if someone hurt them self?

Wendy - posted on 04/26/2014

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turn it around.....if you were a dad and your daughter was in the shower full of little girls, would you enter to scold them?....no way.........you should not have gone in.

Jodi - posted on 02/22/2014

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I've seen my step son's private parts in puberty.....if it weren't for me examining that area, we wouldn't have diagnosed and been able to treat his meningitis. Seriously some of you people are way too prudish and need to lighten up a bit. It is just another body part.

And to the person who had never seen male genitalia until she was married....you clearly never had brothers.

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Nicole - posted on 04/26/2014

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I don't think i would have walked in on all the boys. My son don't like me going into the bathroom to see if he is ok or give him his clothes if he forgets.

Tina - posted on 02/22/2014

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She was right. Boys should not be seen naked by females except by their own mothers or perhaps doctors and nurses. I have a three yr old girl and I am expecting a son soon. My daughter will not be around my son when either are naked. They will not bath together.
The first time I saw male genitalia was when I got married. I don't think that it is right for women to see male's private parts except mothers taking care of their own baby boys and medical situations. Maybe I am a prude, but that is the way I think.
I would be very upset if I was one of the other boys' moms.

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