La - posted on 07/30/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years..we're 26 yrs old. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together. We are fortunate to live in his childhood home, that his parents kept after they built their new home.
He runs a business with his father, very labor intensive. I work full-time as well.
We have similar morals and values, but do not always see eye to eye. For example, he was raised by his parents who I adore but his mom was a stay at home mom who did everything for him and her husband (her husband never even changed a diaper). So he has a very "old school" mindset.
That being said, it's like pulling teeth to get him to help me do anything around the house or caring after our daughter. In his mind, he worked hard all day making decisions and laboring, so he should be able to relax when he gets home. He's a very determined business man, and I respect that but he comes off as pompous when it comes to the needed attention of our child and me.
And what about me? I get our daughter ready every morning, work 9-10 hours, come home cook dinner, clean (bf rarely even clears his plate from the table unless I basically demand him to), give my daughter a bath, read her a book and put her to bed. And repeat..my "job" never ends. Not to mention I clean the house, do everyone's laundry, food shop and manage the bills.
He has never willingly helped me with anything (besides bills of course). If he does help (after I ask, beg, demand), he makes it seem like such an inconvenience.
Sex dept. is good, because I respect the need to fulfill sexual desire. But honestly, he doesn't even show passion anymore..he whips it out..
I'm clearly overwhelmed and upset because we are not a team. He doesn't get it even after multiple conversations about this. I feel like we lost our connection, compassion and understanding for each other. I want to work through our differences but he is unwilling to seriously talk about this anymore.
Overall he's a good man, who just needs to grow up. But I'm afraid we will never come to an understanding. Idk what to do..