Gloria - posted on 07/25/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Concerned mother who allowed her 16yro son move with Dad at 14yro. I was a young mother, by the age of 19 I had a two kids now 16 & 14. When I was 21 I finally left their Dad. Kids were only 2 & 3 I went through the courts I eventually got 86% custody. Father had kids every other wknd from Sat-Sun. I got involved with a man who is now my husband shortly after I left their Dad. He took both my kids in as his own and helped me raise them. We then had 2 kids together so now im 34 with 4 children. When my oldest son was 14 he wanted to move with his father to another state. Father never supported the kids financially and since he lived in another state he wasn't involved he really wasn't involved at all. After talks and fights I allowed my son to move with his Dad. NOw my son is 16 yro may not graduate. I have him home for the summer and Im really concerned about him. My son is a stressball, he said he stresses because he never knows when his phone will get turned off or the water or electricity or if he is going to eat or if his Dad is going to jail bc he is not paying his DUI tickets and is driving on suspended license. I also found out father's his girlfriend steals from stores! Father has a girlfriend who is been with about 5 yrs they have 2 kids together. I know my son drinks bc the last time he was down visiting at his grandfather's party (from his Dad's side) he was drunk. Grandma had told me and she had no problem with it. My son did wanted to live with me bc I have rules and apparently they were too strict for him so he wanted to run to Dad's. Who is a lot more easy going. My son is the type of kid that if he wants something that I cannot afford or won't give to him he will go to his Nana (Dad's mom) and ask her.BTW she's a Kleptomaniac who doesn't work but will steal stuff and sell to make money. So she will do what she has to do to give my son what he wants. I feel like my son has no guidance im worried about his welfare. My son doesn't want to come back to live with me. I have rules I expect my kids to get decent grades. So If I see my kids start to fail in school, i'm on them I will put them on restriction I will take stuff away. I won't allow them to go places with friends. He just doesn't like the way I run my house. My son is failing in high school dad told me he won't graduate he failed his whole sophomore year. I don't want to regret it 5 yrs down the line that I should have done something while I had the chance. Worried mom how can I get my son back home??


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Jodi - posted on 07/25/2014




Basically, at this point, it really is his choice. You can't force it.Maybe the best way is to negotiate rules together, rather than dictate them. Both of you could make some compromises and come to agreements. I realise this might mean that some of your very strict rules will not be a possibility, but if you sit down and really work out which rules are most important to you, and then he can work out what is most important to him, maybe you could come up with a satisfactory compromise.

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