worried sick about custody threats

Helene - posted on 08/19/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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please, please can someone help me. I am a mom of an 11yr girl & 9yr boy. My son is diagnosed with sensory disorder & is in the process of assesment for autistic spectrum disorder. I have been divorced from their dad for over 5yrs now. He see's the children when he feels like it with no regular routine. When unemployed he was paying £10 fortnight, then he started work in april & csa still chasing him. I had a op on my back last oct 2011 & a lumbar epidural that left me with no feeling/movement in left leg. I have been with my partner 3yrs & between him & my parents they had my children. I had a relapse about 5wks ago & i'm still in hosp now. My ex husband has had the kids 3 times for tea & the rest of the time they with my parents. I been texting him for help bt keeps saying he working or got hosp appointments & has no room to have them over night (even though he has before). i ended up having an argument with him & his partner on textes & now he's threatening to get full custody of my children because he says i can't look after then. he has parent & a big family & non of them bother with my children. my daughter starting to realise her dad not always there & says she doesn't want to livewith him & my son with his problems says whatever he thinks me or his dad want to hear. I have never stopped him seeing them, infact it all i've been trying to do since we split. My partner says not to worry but i can't help it. i don't want to loose mychildren & i know they don't want to live with him. what should i do & can he do this while i'm in hospital?

2 Comments

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Helene - posted on 09/02/2012

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Thanks Tina, I'm sure your right. It was just bad timing when i was already feeling low being in hospital. I am finally home now and although it sounds bad, if he wants to see them he needs to contact me. I wont stop him seeing them but i wont keep chasing him to have them. If my children want to ring him thats fine to. I've just been told by csa (i've had nothing since april & then it was £10 every two weeks) that He got to pay me £20 that has been reduced because he has moved in with his partner & her children. Also because he's self employed the money can't come from his employer so i have to see if he will pay me anything (i wont hold my breath). I just had to find around £260 to kit both my children out with school stuff as my daughter grown taller & my son changing school. Sorry to rant & rave on here to you all. I'm sure there are some very good fathers out there. Its just unfortunate that my childrens isn't one of them :(

I'm sure he's doing this to get at me yet its my cildren that suffer. Thanks for listening. x

Tina - posted on 08/19/2012

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I can honestly say it would be a long shot for him to get custody and from what you've said. It sounds like it would only be a matter of time before he'd be handing the kids back anyway since he barely has time for them now. I seriously doubt you'll lose your children. I'd say they're more than likely empty threat anyway. Right now you should be focusing on her health and getting back to your children feeling better. Not worrying about the ex. He wont spend time and money on them doubt he'll go to the trouble of getting custody. I think it's just an attempt to get out of his responsibilities as a father. He may feel like you wont ask him for help if you feel like he'll take them away.

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