worst time of my life..

Lacie - posted on 01/21/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend and i met over a year ago fell inlove blah blah, thought he was best guy id ever met. he was so good to me. we lived 6 hours away so i ended up moving up to where he was with him and his parents and got a job was there for a few months, we were so happy. I found out i was pregnant we both were so shocked and didnt know what to do, i never ever in my life wanted kids, i was only 18 he was 19, he told me he wanted me to keep it, so i couldnt really get rid of something that was he’s too right? so i kept it for him, worst thing i could have ever, ever done. We ended up moving back to where i came from so i could be with my mum for help with the baby because he’s mum didnt want us to have it so she wouldnt have helped. he got a job here he lived with hes nan i lived with my mum because we couldnt afford anything just yet. he was really good to me but then everything started going down hill as soon as pregnancy became reality all we did was fight and fight in the last four months we’ve broken up about 10 times. we cant be with each other we cant be without, we really do love each other but he just started not being there enough, accusing me of not caring about him or loving him when i gave up my life that i loved to give him what he wanted, he can't tell me i dont love him, I Can't help these emotions this is something ive never had to deal with it comes with pregnancy i cant help if im a bitch! but he can help being an asshole!! hes not pregnant he doesnt know!.. But felt like he didnt care about me but he kept telling me im the only thing he cared about. we argued these types of things over and over , I get 130 dollars a fortnight off centrelink and have bought pretty much everything for our baby that he ‘wanted’ and leave myself with nothing for two weeks its the hardest thing ive gone through, he has a job and wont buy anything unless i ask because he reckons he doesn't know what to do or get. i have never been so depressed in my life i was always happy with my friends i loved my life. im now 7 months pregnant and wish i wasnt even alive. i cant deal with anything i cry over nothing and today i ended us for good, but i feel so empty and sick i just dont know what to do, i can’t go do anything because im pregnant, no1 understands, i dont really talk to my friends that much since i got pregnant because he became my bestfriend aswel as my partner. i just cant do it anymore i feel empty without him but we just cant agree on anything anymore its wrecked me everytime we split up he will always text me n tell me how he can't live without me n it hurts me to see him upset but can't keep doing this :( ill never be the same person again. i need help !

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Nancy - posted on 01/21/2013

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Don't be afraid to lean on your mom for some support.My mom wasn't really there for me when I needed help,so when my daughter needed it,I made sure I was there for her.If you don't get along and fight all the time,don't you think it would be better to be apart?I didn't want to be pregnant with my son,especially after I left his father.Long story.I just waited for the pregnancy to be over.I honestly didn't think I could deal with it but after he was born and I held him,I just fell in love with him,especially when he was put on my stomach and he looked at me for such a long time.It was hard at times looking at him and seeing his father(he looked just like him when he was little).It helped when he got older and if I got upset about something,he would give me hug.Feeling those little arms patting me on my shoulder in order to help me feel better really did the trick.When both my kids would go visit my mother for a week,I would be so bored.I looked past who their father was and just loved them for the fact they were my kids.I thought they were great.You will heal in time and get over him.My daughterwent through pretty much the same as I did with her father(both my kids have the same father),as my grandsons father.You will find a strength you never knew you had.I did and so has my daughter.I've raised them both on my own.Don't be afraid of crying.It helps wash out the hurt.You will make it.It takes courage to walk away from a bad situation and not stay there.Good luck.Hang in there.

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Lacie - posted on 01/30/2013

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yeah ive found myself to be stronger and im loving it :) but he just wont leave me alone telling me he wants us to be a family more then anything, wel he can't have what he wants all the time. boys are seriously not all there in the head.

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