Wot do u guys think to this?retaliation at school?should kids be punished for acting on instinct ?

Ella - posted on 09/18/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son recently came home on report for throwing his lunch bag at a boys head,the boys head got cut by the zip and had to go to hospital for it gluing the ther boy is fine now and luckily the cut was only very small,however my lad lashed out like this after being repeatedly hit on the back by the other lads lunch box................I am furious that my son has being punished in this way,I no it would have been rite for him to tell the teacher befor lashing out but I'm sorry humans have the flight or fight instinct automatically instilled in them wot do u mums think am I being unrealistic or do u think I have a point?

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Vicki - posted on 09/18/2012

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i dont think its ok to lash out regardless of it being a child teen or adult we all have choices we can certainly choose to retaliate with violence but we can choose other options as well, we dont need to be violent inorder to defend ourselves. This sounds like a good topic to maybe discuss in your home as a family and maybe discuss what his optionsare for the next time he is in this situation. Has he used another option maybe the outcome could of been different perhaps the other boy would be punished instead of your son?

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Ella - posted on 09/18/2012

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However I think the lesson he has learned from it will help him think better next time he is in a situation

Ella - posted on 09/18/2012

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And yea vicky I've explained to him that if he'd have walked away and told an adult,the outcome would be different,my boy in the past has done the rite thing n told of violence he nos also that's soothe should have done,on this instance I think he'd just had enuff n thought sod this

Ella - posted on 09/18/2012

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Oh no I have allowed the punishment to go thought I truly belive u should work with the school not against them n tbh coz my son hit back I think 50 50 responsibility is fair for punishment,at the time because this boy hit my son repeatedly then lied to adults he should have had more of a conceqwesnce I no its not Gud to meet violence with violence somtimes thoe specialy from the other boys point of view...........it's wot it takes

Dove - posted on 09/18/2012

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They should both be punished. Sure, he can react with violence and it may or may not solve his problem with the boy if the boy knows he won't tolerate crap.... but he still has to accept whatever punishment happens from the school.... and I certainly wouldn't fight the school on it. Fight for the OTHER boy to be disciplined for his actions as well (if he wasn't), but not for my son's punishments to go away.

Ella - posted on 09/18/2012

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No I used that exspretion because u said u thought it was never ok to lash out! My point there was somtimes u ave to defend ur self

Vicki - posted on 09/18/2012

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but it wasnt a knife it was a lunchbox! I do think that both boys were punished fairly and equally and was well deserved to both parties

Ella - posted on 09/18/2012

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Yes the teacher knows what happened n althoe I would say I couldn't garontee he'd tell the truth he rarely tells a porker,he did tell me first the boy was hitting him then the truth came out the next day after the boy had lie,,I don't back the fight response my son knows I feel he should of told the teacher first,I do feel thoe he shouldn't have had the same punishment as the other lad(report)as the this other boy instigated aviolent attack,I'm sorry to disagree with vicky but say the 2 boys were men and the lunchbox was a knife........at sum point in life u may have to take action n like u say yes he could have taken another route but u no ur self when summoned purposely hurts u and it really does bloody hurt its natural to want to hurt them back n that's not something u learn that's just how humans function xtra is for ur opinions anyhow :-)

Vicki - posted on 09/18/2012

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I think that none of us have a right to lash out . There are definately options he could of taken. I think the fight instincts come from not knowing what the options are!

Lacye - posted on 09/18/2012

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If he had tried to tell the teacher first and she still didn't do anything, I would say swing away but the fact of the matter is, your son didn't say anything about the boy hitting him. Did the note he brought home say the other boy was hitting your son or did your son tell you this? I'm not saying he's lying but if he didn't say anything to the teacher, and the teacher didn't know, then how is he supposed to learn that that is not acceptable behavior in society if you are backing him with the whole fight or flight instinct? If that was the case, it would be perfectly acceptable for me to beat the absolute hell out of the person in the supermarket for bumping into me repeatedly, even if it was an accident.

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