Would you be okay if your dh wanted to be a SAHD?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Medic - posted on 11/22/2011
For it to work you just have to let go of whatever you think SHOULD be going on. Yes my husband cooked amazing meals and potty trained all while I was at work. Did the laundry and cleaned the house and STILL managed to get into loads of trouble with the boy...ie baking cookies and decorating the house with flour, bubble bathing the WHOLE bathroom. He did however always clean up their messes, and my son got to have an experience most kids never get.
Helen - posted on 11/24/2011
Hi there. great question.I would be more than happy for this to happen if our roles were reversed and I had the job that was enjoyed, and enabled us to live off one income. I love my kids, and love looking after them as a working mum, fitting in that work around them and their needs. However, I see no reason why if circumstances change, that shouldn't change too.
I would be OK with it, but it wouldn't suit him as he's really dedicated to his profession. And he makes more money than I do (or did).
We're really lucky right now -- he works a good deal of the time from home, and I have (unpaid) maternity leave until my son turns 4yo.
Amanda - posted on 11/23/2011
I would love my husband to get a taste of what it's really like to stay home and do all the things that I am expected to do, but realistically there wouldn't be a hope in hell that I would agree to it.
He swears, gets easily frustrated and sleeps all the time. I have worked so hard with my sons behavioural issues to get him to where we are now that it would kill me to see all my hard work undone.
Sylvia - posted on 11/23/2011
Well, at the moment I am seriously burnt out and wishing I could quit my job, so not right now ;)
But in principle, yes, absolutely. DD's way past the nursing stage, so apart from the issue of income (his salary is about 40% of our income, mine is 60%, not easy to see how we would manage financially without either one of them...), I can't see any objection.
We were actually thinking about it just before our daughter was born. We were thinking that if I was able to finish my engineering degree and find work, that he could stay home. But the engineering field is taking such a huge hit from the economy that it would be a waste of money for me to get the degree, especially with having to pay for childcare completely out of pocket.
Erin - posted on 11/22/2011
As others said, if I could bring home the same income as he does and enjoy my job, why not? Of course, currently I'm the one who wants to (and is) staying home, it would drive my husband crazy to do it so I think this scenario would never come up for us. But kudos to all SAHD's!
Lisa - posted on 11/21/2011
If I knew the house would get cleaned once in a while and I knew the kids would get vegetables on a daily basis Definatly... He is a great dad and husband but I left for one week and returned to fruit flies and a weeks worth of dishes and laundry. However my son still talks about how that was the funnest week of his life
Sharon - posted on 11/21/2011
If I were the one who earnt the higher wage, and I wanted to work full time and he wanted to be here, then I wouldn't have a problem at all. But he loves working, has even commented that if we wont the lotto he'd still work atleast 20hrs a week as he likes to be busy. But me, I love being with my boys and keeping the house running.
Elfrieda - posted on 11/21/2011
It wouldn't suit him, but I know of some other couples that would be great at that. (my cousin's husband took most of the parental leave - we get a year that the parents can split between them, which is awesome imo.)
I think I might feel a little jealous or weird that what we were doing wasn't "normal", but I think it's pretty sad if I'd let "normal" dictate the way we are in our family.
Kellie - posted on 11/21/2011
Not when it's him who brings in the big bucks. I don't have the Certificate/Diploma/Degree to make the money he does so it wouldn't make sense for him to Stay at Home instead of me.
If it was I who was making that kind of money then it would make sense for me to work and my Partner to Stay at Home. Not sure I'd cope with that though LOL I love being with my baby :D
Liz - posted on 11/21/2011
If the following criteria were met, then I'd be perfectly happy for my husband to be a SAHD :-
- Me to have a job that I enjoy doing, which also brings in sufficient money to take over the role as primary 'breadwinner' (my husband enjoys his job, so I think the 'enjoy' part is a fair enough stipulation!);
- my husband to wish to take on the role of SAHD (I already know that he has the ability and the knowledge, as he is a lovely, hands-on parent who is involved in every aspect of our daughter's care);
- My husband not to mind doing a greater share of household chores than at present.
As things stand, I'm unlikely to be able to earn enough to contemplate the idea, though if the book I'm hoping to get published takes off, then you never know! :D
Are you asking because that is a situation that you're facing, Britt?
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