Would you hold your child back for another year of preschool...

Sarah - posted on 02/21/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )




I need some advice from other parents out there if your child was behind on fine and gross motor skills but improving a little bit every day would you hold them back for another year of preschool??Andrew can do pretty much everything kids his age can do but he struggles with cutting,printing he can count and sing his abc's but its a little scattered but he can spell his name out loud,very social and loves other kids.He can dress himself but tends to be lazy and claims he can't do it when he knows someone will help do it for him such as grandma.He is currently in speech therapy and is being monitored by child development center where they have someone come in to his preschool once a month to monitor how he is doing.I just want to know if your child is behind other kids by 6 months or more with some things would you hold them back for another year of preschool before shipping them off to full time kindergarten.The child development center says he is on the right track and is ready to enter kindergarten but I am worried about him falling through the cracks and ending further behind..Any suggestions or help from parents who have gone through or are going through this would be great.I just want him to have the best chance possible.Also if I do keep him back a year will it affect him the following year to get into kindergarten??


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Catherine - posted on 02/22/2011




I'm going to disagree with some other posters and say if you have any hesitation about his ability to handle kindergarten, then you should hold him in preschool. He may catch up as others said, but he also may not, and if he doesn't, then you may have to hold him back in 3rd or 4th grade when that is embarrassing and traumatic. If you do it now, he'll never know the difference, and neither will the other kids. I teach high school, and I've worked with kids who were held back later on, and it was an issue for them for the rest of their school careers.

While I think that you should consider professional opinions on this one, you know your child better than anyone else and you need to go with your gut. If he ends up way ahead later, you can consider jumping him up a grade, but I would err on the side of caution now.

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If the child development center says he's ready for kindergarten then I would probably send him. Kids grow and change so fast at this age. IF he struggles in K you could always have him repeat it.

Of course, I come from a place were a LOT of boys do 2 years of K.... and some of the girls too.

Katherine - posted on 02/22/2011




I'm kind of on the other end. There are kids in my daughters Kindergarten turning 5 and 6. Is your son 4? I really don't see the rush and one more year of preschool won't hurt it will only strengthen his skills. I almost held my daughter back just because I felt she needed better social skills. But she turned 5 in September. So it depends on how old he is too.
There are also kids in her class that won't be 5 until late in the school year and you can tell a major difference in their learning, attention, social skills, listening etc....
It's ultimately up to you.
I can tell you my daughter learned a lot in her first month of kindergarten as far as fine and gross motor skills.
If there is a half day kindergarten you can get him into I would check around for that.
It is a huge transition to go from a few hours of preschool to a full day of kindergarten.

I did the same thing. My daughter is only in a half day. Now I feel in first grade full day she will be ready and more confident.

Bonnie - posted on 02/22/2011




I wouldn't hold him back. Pre-school is basic skills to get familiar with things. Not every parent sends their child to pre-school.

Blackwood - posted on 02/22/2011




This is a tough one for you. You have to pros telling you it's okay,but your instinct is telling you another. I can give you an idea from a child. When I was in JK (only have days at this time) I would have to stay in at recess and practise counting (I actually remember this). Then when I was in Grade One, I had and still to this day struggle a bit with reading and spelling. I was passed on to Grade Two. I did have a year in Grade Two, when my teacher at the time recommended I go back to Grade One for the other half of the year. I did and this was hard, I was in a class and then put into another one. I from there on recieved help from a learning teacher (Great teacher, I'll never forget him). So my advise too you is, is you feel your child needs some extra time. I would give it. It's not going to harm him to be the older in the class by one year. Children with different birthdays sometimes start later. It's only preschool ( I don't mean to sound like it's "ONLY"), but what happens if down the road when he is in an older grade and is stuggling, it will be much harder for him then. I commend you for taking the extra education that is being worked with him now. This is just my experiance and this doesn't mean this is going to be the situation with your son, but I do know that it's highly unlikely now a days that a child will be "held back", so maybe your instinct is right and you should take this situation now, instead of later. Good luck.

Firebird - posted on 02/22/2011




I suggest letting him go as well. My daughter is Autistic and has delays in many ares like fine motor skill and speech. I was apprehensive about putting her in kindergarten this year, but I'm so glad I did! She's reading and writing, and cutting with scissors. All of this stuff seemed to be another 2 years away.
Her verbal skills have really improved as well. She's more outgoing and assertive than ever. It's astounding how much progress she's made in the last 5 months.
It was August 2010 when My daughter was assessed and diagnosed. The psychologist said she was at the level of a 2.5 year old in several areas of development. Not anymore. She's closer to a 4 year old's development now, in most of those areas. I give a lot of the credit to her school. They've embraced her disability and are doing everything they can to help her keep up with her classmates.

Louise - posted on 02/22/2011




I have trained in under 5's development and speech therapy and I would say let him go to kindergarten. Most of the time you find that children that are slightly behind do better with children there own age as peer pressure plays a big role. If your child can dress himself without aid then he will not want somebody dressing him as all the other children will do it for themselves. Children like to be the same as every one else. If you leave him with younger children then he will modify his learning to be like them, this is not going to help him. If the people coming in to access him are happy for him to go up and his speech therapist is happy then let him go.

Just because you son is moving up to kindergarten it does not mean he will lose the outside help he is getting. Be advised by them because they know what they are doing. Be brave and let him go!

Iridescent - posted on 02/22/2011




I wouldn't. They are things that really come with time, and when you think about it they aren't going to hold him back at all by not being proficient at them now.

One of our 3 year old's is right on track. She'll be going to PreK for another year due to age, the same as the other 2, but if this were next year with her facing Kindergarten I'd have no concerns.

Our second 3 year old is delayed almost as far as he is old (6-14 months developmentally in all areas). He pays no attention whatsoever in class, goes to therapies to work with him, and we work with him at home. He's not even ready for PreK, but he needs the help. He is so delayed he has a 1:1 Para now at all times. He will not be held back, either, and will remain in a mainstream class, more with the goal of him meeting his own personal goals that we set for him within reach to pass vs the classroom goals.

Our third 3 year old is one full year delayed in all areas at this point. She has a health problem which causes regression and brain damage throughout life, but right this minute she's stable. She's learning, although certainly behind other preschoolers. She has a 1:1 nurse at all times in school for her medical needs, and will also remain in the mainstream classroom. Again, we will not be holding her back, and right now her goals for in class are the same as that of her classmates, although there is no grading and no consequences for not meeting them, only rewards for accomplishments. Since the health problems are likely to cause her to stop learning for periods of time, or lose brain function, throughout her life, we simply have to adjust her goals to her needs as they become even more severe. She may be able to catch up with her classmates, but even if she can't, being in the same class with the kids her age is the most important factor for us to give her the best quality of life.

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