Y is it so hard to get pregnant?

Toni - posted on 04/07/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Y cant I get pregnant when I want to? Y is it so hard? 15, 16 year olds who aren’t even trying can so easily get pregnant but when a couple really wants to start a family or add to the family its so hard. I don't want to have to work at it I don’t want to have to take my temperature every morning or use O.C.T.'s (Ovulation Calculating Tests) or watch for my fertile days, I just want to do it. I want a big family and its just not happening. What am I supposed to do? I want so bad to have another child. I’ve heard it all before from; you want it too much, or you haven’t been trying that long, or your underweight and they said I couldn’t because of that, now I’m normal sized and its still not happening. So what is it now? How long do you have to keep trying? My son took over a year at this rate I will never have my big family. I'm 28 going on 29 and although that sounds young in baby making years its old especially if you want a big family. I don’t want to still be trying when I'm 40, where there can be complications and pregnancy is just harder. Are there others that feel the same? Back in the day couples got pregnant and had families of like 13 kids, how? I myself come from a family of 5 children. No one has even that many children any more Y? Even if I wanted to I don’t think I will be able to, Y? I'm just miserable thinking about it I just cry and cry, I just feel like the biggest failure as a person and as a woman. I just keep asking myself Y? Y? Y? Is it so hard? I wasn’t going to try to get pregnant again so early after my son but I love being a mom so much I had no idea how I was going to feel but its the best thing ever and I want to have at least 3 or even 5 more but its just not that easy and its a constant reminder that I might not get to have them. My husband and I made the most beautiful baby with the best character, so easygoing and pleasant.
My sister gets pregnant so easily she just thinks about it and it happens it drives me crazy, I love her but it hurts me every time she tells me she’s pregnant again. The worst for me is that she says # 3 is the last one when she can have as many as she wants. Mean while I'm here trying desperately to get pregnant again, I want to have a big family and she doesn’t but yet she’s the one who gets pregnant at a drop of a hat and I cant. It’s just so frustrating. I’m sorry for that rant but this is really the only place I have to open up and really say what I’m feeling. This seems like the only place where people understand what I’m going through and there is always up lifting comments from you all and I could really use it today. So thank you all in advance for saving me from myself.
I know I’m not alone and to all the other couples out there that are having the same kind of problems I’m so sorry and I feel your pain and disappointment I really genuinely do and I wish you the best of luck and a baby in your future.

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Erin - posted on 04/07/2011

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I understand the pain from your mom having babies easily and you're having trouble. I have PCOS and my mom does not. It runs on my dad's side of my family. My mom got pregnant while on birth control. If you have been trying for a year, talk to your doctor and have your husband talk to his. It's better to seek answers than worry about why it's not happening.

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[deleted account]

i think that the more you are focused on having a baby the harder it will be. it is true that when you are really trying you stress yourself out and it makes you less likely to get pregnant. just relax, stop worrying, and have sex when you want to and for fun, not just to make a baby, and it will happen. it just takes time. i know that's not what you want to hear

Toni - posted on 04/07/2011

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I know a year is not a long time but it feels like a life time for me. A year was the time we actually focused on it but we had been sort of tring for 5 years. Considering I came from a family of 5 children, my mom has babies as easily as my sister does. I had just thought it would be easier for me, I'm my moms clone but not in that respect. Thats the most frustrating thing of all, especting it to be easy and it not being easy.
My son is young and I am BFing but my period came back months ago and Im starting to feed my son solid foods.
But I know I should not stress about it, I just can't help it. I really just posted to vent my frustration.
Thank you Toni for your advise.

[deleted account]

Took us a little over 2years to conceive our second child.We moved into our home 3mths before we conceived our first.Did not take long there.So i was worried at first when it came to baby number two.

I just had to stop trying so hard.I was stressing out etc.When i calmed down and forgot about making a baby, it worked.Shes 2years old now.Relax and don't stress.Best of luck:-)Toni's advice is very helpful.

[deleted account]

I understand your frustration Toni, but try and remember a year of trying is really not that long a time - my hubby and I tried for over three years before we got pregnant with our son - which was a complete suprise as we were told we couldn't have children and adoption was our option. We are currently pregnant with our second which took around a year of using no protection at all.

There are a few things you need to be doing in order to get pregnant (and they seem obvious but it's amazing how many people don't do them) you need to be having regualr sex - every couple of days. We were told that for my hubby to have the best quality sperm he should ejaculate every three days.

I have a couple of questions, how old is your son? Are you bf? The reason I ask is because I get the impression your son isn't a year yet and bf can provide natural contraception - in that it can delay the return of your ovulation and if your not ovulating you can't get pregnant.

Try to keep positive you have a wonderful son and so you know you can get pregnant and have babies, which is a really positive thing. I know exactly how you feel and it really hurts seeing these people just appear to get pregnant but try and remember that just because on the outside it looks easy they may have had their own difficulties - it's suprising how many people do have difficulties but don't share them.

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