young single mom to be

Steph - posted on 04/30/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

5

0

0

Hello to all beautiful mothers out there.
This is my story....
I'm a 21 year old girl, 7 weeks pregnant of my first child. Also a single mother to be.
The father of my child lives a double life and has chosen to remain married over starting over with a new life.
I had met him at my job, I noticed him right away for being polite, tall and handsome, with time as we 'dated' I started liking him more and more until I fell in love. He is a 39 year old with no other children. He would always talk to me about how his biggest dream was be a father and mentioned how he's time was running out because of his age. He would always make me feel protected and safe when I was around him
So I decided to let nature work its magic. After 7 months I finally became pregnant. What I thought would be both, mine and his biggest joy our lifes instantly took a turn for the worse.
He became extremely distant and not supportive
I started feeling worried why he would act such way
He told me to stay away from HIS FAMILY. Later to find out he had one child from a woman that he does not see and married to another.
I told him it was either the marriage or us and suggested an abortion.
He at this point flip flops alot sometimes making me feel like he wants part of this than at other he beget beget neglects me. At one point he made a comment almost making me feel like he wants me to give the child to him and his wife. I love this child with all my heart I would never give him up. I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this since the man I love was someone completely different and I'm alone having his child.

I just want to know everything is going to be okay....

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Steph - posted on 05/03/2014

5

0

0

Dear Nicole,

Im so sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how so selfish people can be sometimes and all thought we cannot change the way other people think, say or do i have come to accept that my happiness is all up to me

Even thought its not a good situation what both me and you are going through it somehow makes me feel good knowing Im not alone.

similar things happened to me to, the last and "final time" i had a "TALK" to the father of my child he kept wanting to bring me inside of my bedroom. i already knew his intentions when i was having a unpleasant conversation with him about being in my babys life and he still had the guts to try to bring me inside my bedroom.

I guess there are men out there that have little respect towards women and Im sure like in my situation he has disrespected you in different ways before.

you already being a mother of a 4 year old you already know the basics and all we can do is be strong woman and raise our kids the best we can with or without the help of a 'partner'.

thank you so much for your comment you have no idea how great it makes me feel
take care of your precious little baby and good luck on your special day

4 Comments

View replies by

Nicole - posted on 05/02/2014

7

0

3

I'm going through somewhat a similar situation only difference is that me and my child's father were dating and i found out he was heating so i broke up with him to find out 4 months later that i was pregnant and also the girl he was cheating with is also pregnant . but he wants me to get rid of my baby and have nothing to do with her...but keeps asking to have sex with me still smh...i'm due n two weeks(may 19th) and he wants to sign his rights over and act like my baby doesnt exist so his new gf wont find out about us at all.....i already have a four yr old that raise on my own so i know the challenge of being a single mother and hard it can be ..but dont let that scare you continue to better yourself and everything will get better in time i mean you do have time to get things together.Just let go of the idea that you two will e together he'll tell you anything to keep you from running and breaking up his happy home trust me i know...your main and only focus should be having and raising a healthy baby. and making this pregnancy for a smooth as possible. just pray on it everything will be fine just try and remain stress free

Steph - posted on 05/02/2014

5

0

0

Amy thank you so much for your response
you must be proud of all your beautiful family..
in my situation i must say
weather hes part of my life or the babys life
I will do my best to raise this child and if i have to be both father and mother i will take that responsibility as well.
i know it will be a challenge since im only 21 and i have no support from him
but the one thing im mostly sure about is keeping this precious baby
i will protect this baby and love him/her unconditionally
not having my "partner" is difficult for me
but i will try my best to not let that affect the way i raise my child and teach him or her to be the best person he or she can be.

yes although im stressing out i feel its mostly because i worry about financial problems
feeling lonely and of course babys health.
as I speak to more and more moms im starting to understand those worries come to all moms and every future mother goes through that stage..
the feeling lonely part i know with time it will heal and once my baby arrives in 7 months that worry of loneliness will completely vanish once i hold my baby in my arms.

Amy - posted on 04/30/2014

9

0

2

Well I would like to tell you it's going to be easy yet raising kids is the most challenging thing I have ever don't. I have 4 boys, 26 and in Medical school, 24 married w/ 1 baby and is a teacher, 21 and graduating college and my baby is 18. I love them tremendously but I could not have done it without a good support system and father image. If he doesn't want to have any part of this child it is going to cause you A LOT of grief and disfunction. Having said that you can end up finding the right man some day who is available willing and able to love you back and in turn want to be a daddy. You need to make this decision based on what you want not whether or not he wants you!
I feel your pain and know you must be stressed. Sad situation.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms