Your opinion on appropriate interaction

Leigh - posted on 03/13/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have been dating a single dad for over 4 months now, i'm concerned about his interaction (lack thereof) with my daughter on the few occasions we have all been together.
Can you ladies please just drop a few ideas on what you would view and deem as appropriate interactions between a 4 year old little girl and her moms new partner? What are the foundation interactions that need to be taking place between them in the least?.... Maybe some ideas on making the situations easier and comfortable?

Thank you xx

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Sarah - posted on 03/13/2013

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Personally I would say if you have been only dating for 4 months there should be no interaction with your daughter. Get to know the guy first before you introduce him to your daughter. It is not fair for her to become attatched to someone and then have that person leave. This is also not good as a role model of men in her life.....if men are coming and going that is going to create issues as she becomes older.

Date this guy for awhile (or any guy). When you feel like this is going to be a long term committed relationship.....looks like you may marry this guy. Then introduce your daughter to him. That relationship is also an important one, so you do need to make sure that it is something that is going to work between the two of them. But she should not have to go along on the ride when you are deciding if the relationship between you and the guy is going to work.

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Leigh - posted on 03/13/2013

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I'm full aware of that, hence my extreme caution. Thank you for your responses, they are appreciated

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2013

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Well, I guess it all depends on if this is how you want your relationship to be. In my experience you cannot change people, or force relationships. Maybe talk with him directly about your concerns.

In the future, if you don't mind this recommendation, wait to introduce a new partner to your child until you are sure it is going somewhere. That way your child will not get to attached to someone that may not be around for very long.

Leigh - posted on 03/13/2013

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No of course not! Goodness, she doesn't leave my eye-sight...I would never leave her alone with any man-even family members! Too many horror stories.
It's still early days, this guy is a really great person but naturally reserved-a man of few words. I'll gauge things the next time we all get together....
#sigh, this dating game is harder than i imagined

Leigh - posted on 03/13/2013

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I feel uncomfortable in the situation because he doesn't speak directly to her or interact with her on a one-on-one level. ie: "Your mom tells me you've been very busy today in the garden. Can i help you colour in that picture?" (simple verbal interaction) The other day my daughter & partner kicked ball together but he did so in silence... I had a feeling he was uncomfortable or perhaps feeling overwhelmed by having all of us together at once. We have only done the "play-date" thing about 3 times so its hard to judge but from what i've noticed i am a bit concerned...My partner is the reserved kinda guy, even so with his own daughter at times-that's just who he is. I guess i am more worried about my daughters emotions and what interaction she needs from my partner in the least for her to feel okay in the situation versus him only conversing with me when in our company. I'm new to the dating game again and naturally very cautious & protective..am i worrying too much?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2013

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I would NEVER leave them alone together, or let him bath her that is for sure. If there is really anything that is wrong, get rid of him now before your daughter gets attached to him, or worse....harmed in any way. You have only been with him 4 months. It should be easy enough to walk away.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2013

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Um.....anything that makes you or your daughter uncomfortable is inappropriate. What kind of interaction are you talking about???? Please explain.

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