13 month old that gets up in middle of night to sleep with us.

Dawn - posted on 04/24/2009

Hi Sarah, I feel for you. I also have a 13 month old :). Fortunately, she doesn't find the need to be in our bed...but she does find the need to have us rock her in the wee hours. I can't tell you how many times I've fallen asleep in the rocking chair and woken with a sore neck/back/leg...whatever!
Since I have two older ones as well, I do know that this too is a phase that will pass. We have had several sleep issues with the older two that have all passed with a lot of patience. It's a lot harder when your little one is too young to really understand or tell you what is wrong.
My advice would be to stay strong on trying to help her learn how to sleep in her own room, while staying sensitive to her needs and being as patient as a person can be who is suffering from sleep deprivation!
Best of luck to you!

Kim - posted on 04/24/2009

This happened with our daughter when she was 2-3 (big enough to climb out of her crib, we removed railing for a daybed). I started a reward program....we put a sticker on the calendar for everyday she stayed in her bed, after 5 days (consecutively staying in her bed) we gave her a small "prize"....like lipgloss or something inexpensive. We did this for approximately three months, after she continued to stay in her bed. This worked well for us, but may not be for everyone :) she is 6 now.

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

Quoting Vanessa:

you obviously see it as a problem, i understand that, otherwise you wouldn't have posted it here. i was just offering some food for thought. something to make you think outside of the square you live in.
all depends on your beliefs i guess. if you believe your daughters night time needs are normal.....then they become so easy to deal with.
popular western culture is OBESSSED with getting their children to sleep alone from a very young age. but is that actually beneficial to the child?? you decide.
my children will be in my bed for a short few years (a drop in the ocean in the grand scheme of life).....i welcome them there.
if you are having sex at 2.30am.....LUCKY YOU.
but most mothers and fathers of young children are asleep at 2am.
do you only have sex in bed at night time???
all the best.

and i thank you for your advice but i guess we do live in 2 different worlds. i am glad you enjoy sleeping with your kids, i take naps with mine, and need my bed for us not a family thing.  but other the other hadn thank you.

Vanessa - posted on 04/24/2009

you obviously see it as a problem, i understand that, otherwise you wouldn't have posted it here. i was just offering some food for thought. something to make you think outside of the square you live in.

all depends on your beliefs i guess. if you believe your daughters night time needs are normal.....then they become so easy to deal with.

popular western culture is OBESSSED with getting their children to sleep alone from a very young age. but is that actually beneficial to the child?? you decide.

my children will be in my bed for a short few years (a drop in the ocean in the grand scheme of life).....i welcome them there.

if you are having sex at 2.30am.....LUCKY YOU.

but most mothers and fathers of young children are asleep at 2am.

do you only have sex in bed at night time???

all the best.

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

Quoting Vanessa:

i don't see it as a problem.
i see it as normal......she is just 13months old.

you may not see it as a problem but i do. we have family friends that let thier baby sleep in bed with them and he did till he was about 5 years old. i really dont want that because my husband and i need us time if you know what i mean.       from your other post yes i like it that she needs me but then again like i said i dont want her in there and have us end up like our friends.

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

Quoting Krissy:

my daughter is 3 years old and does that i tell her before she goes to bed now tonight you have to stay in bed till the sun gets out of bed and for the last couple of nights it has worked. i mean once in awhile is okay but every night does get a little nerve wrecking

if it still goes on by then or by the time she can understand that, ill try it sounds like a good idea. thanks

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

Quoting Lynne:

I am a child psychologist, this is normal and it would be helpful o know why it started eg. did something scare her or a bad dream? it will pass with patience and you not making it too important i suggest that you take her back to her own bed reasure her by ataying for a while singing to her or cuddling her. another possible answer is to give her a nightlight or buy her a special toy eg a teddy which you explain is to keep her company and safe.

it would be nice to knwo if it was a bad dream but how is she suppose to let me know she is only 13 months old. she does have a bunny that she has slept with ever since she was born so taht is he security blanket. i have tried the singing and cuddling didnt work so i them tried letting her just cry but you can only take so much of that,  and after she falls back asleep in our bed i try moving her back but she wakes back up. nothing really works.

Tonya - posted on 04/24/2009

Well I have 3 boys and as of right now our 4 year old still sleeps in bed with us. Do you walk to their room and get them out of bed? I have tried the crying thing but to be honest I like when they sleep with us (all of them have at one point or another). If you dont like it you can let them cry it out, but do it over a long weekend because everyone is going to be tired. Or you can be thankful that its not all night and make a palet on the floor and the baby can sleep there.

Julie - posted on 04/24/2009

My kids are a little older now, but they used to do the same thing. Quietly and calmly take her back to her own bed and kiss and hug her good night. She is probably still quite sleepy so the less fuss the better.

Lynne - posted on 04/24/2009

I am a child psychologist, this is normal and it would be helpful o know why it started eg. did something scare her or a bad dream? it will pass with patience and you not making it too important i suggest that you take her back to her own bed reasure her by ataying for a while singing to her or cuddling her. another possible answer is to give her a nightlight or buy her a special toy eg a teddy which you explain is to keep her company and safe.

Vanessa - posted on 04/24/2009

she just needs some night time reassurance.

i believe 13 months is very young to be left alone in the dark all night.

she just needs you....and thats ok isn't it??

she will out grow the need for night time reassurance, she will not be in your bed when she is a teenager.

sharing sleep is beautiful.....do you like sleeping alone? or do you like the comfort of your husband? (just something to think about). :)

Krissy - posted on 04/24/2009

my daughter is 3 years old and does that i tell her before she goes to bed now tonight you have to stay in bed till the sun gets out of bed and for the last couple of nights it has worked. i mean once in awhile is okay but every night does get a little nerve wrecking

Cassie - posted on 04/24/2009

Advice.

Just take her back to her bed, and keep doing that until she realizes that that is where she needs to stay. I understand Vanessa's post and it's obviously a problem for you. I had the same problem but my son was older and it worked.

Vanessa - posted on 04/24/2009

i don't see it as a problem.

i see it as normal......she is just 13months old.