15 and pregnant with everyone telling me to abort

Kathy - posted on 07/08/2012

Noelle, I had an abortion one time and let me tell you, I lived with the guilt of that for a long time, I wish I wouldn't have done it but I did, I now I have to live with what I did the rest of my life, for years I had a hard time dealing with it, but with the Lords help I was finally able to forgive myself. yes it was wrong for me to do it but it is in the past and I have to move forward I think about that baby often though, you could maybe consider adoption that wouldn't be an easy choose either, but that baby would still be alive with a chance for a good future, Hang in there having an abortion is not the way out, you don't feel good about yourself either after that and when and if anyone finds out they make you feel like you are a horrible person, that's if you even tell anyone, I have told people but I am careful in who I tell, and tell my story hoping it will help someone else, I really hope that I have helped you. Bless wishes to you, hope things work out the right way for you.

Carrie - posted on 07/08/2012

Noelle, I was in your situation a little over 19 years ago. Was pregnant at 15 and had my daughter right after my 16th birthday. You need to make the decision yourself. Don't let anyone tell you what you need to do.
You will need to tell everyone over and over that you are sticking to your choice. IF they can't handle your choice its time to make changes in your relationship with them.
I will not lie to you... It is really difficult and all the support you can get.. the better!!
Its a really good plan to finish school with online schooling!! It will make things a bit easier in the future when you go back and finish your education be it at a technical college or an university.
From what you wrote, I don't think the courts would give the father custody just because he is living with his parents. He first needs to prove that you are an unfit mother (which I'm sure you will be a great mom!!) I also had the situation with the father of my first baby. HE was 22 months older than I, and was charged with statutory rape. We went through a whole ordeal with his denying that she was his, paternity testing and that sort crap.
I lived with my parents and had full legal and physical custody of her.
You still have approximately 7-8 months to prepare for the arrival of this baby. Check out and see if there is a school in your area that is also for teenage moms. I went to an alternative school where there was a 'Teen Age Parenting Program'...they 'taught' us household tasks getting us prepared for living on our own...parenting tips..and provided free daycare as long as we went to school.
If you are against abortion (I am also against it in almost ALL situations). The other option is adoption. I also know that will be a hard decision to make. (I also know what its like to be adopted...as I was adopted as a baby)
There are a lot of choices in bring a baby into this world, but if you are determined to be a good mom... everything will eventually fall into place!! I hope you get the support, understanding and love that you need during this difficult time.

Tasha - posted on 07/08/2012

Hello sweetie. I wrote before. But my oppion is if u want to keep your baby, then keep it. with support from family u will be able to do it. you got ur head on straight. not every 15 yr old girl can think about goin to school and etc like u have planned. i seriously hope u keep what you want to do by finshing school at home (online schooling) is great. i have a friend who was about ur age when she got prego. she still lives with her parents and still goin to school and rasiing her baby with support from her family. Adoption isnt always the best thing for a child. Sometimes it wrost then being with the bio mother. Not saying u will be a bad mom. u sound like u gone threw hell in ur past, and u know how u felt with ur mom. u will be a great mom sweetie. keep ur head straight and keep ur feet on the ground. stand ur ground about everything sweetie.. and everything will be fine for the most part. raising a baby isnt easy, but the rewards of it beats the hell out of the bad. I have a 4 yr old baby girl. im turning 25 end of July. so keep ur head straight. good luck on everything sweetie.. I have to agree with Elizabeth Belch about the adoption part. she couldnt say it better.

Christian Capers, on 1 of her post she stated her father hopes her baby is deformed so she would have to adort the baby. but if she kept it, he would support her. hence thats why she is back living with her father. *Hugs*

Christy - posted on 07/08/2012

I don't have a similar situation BUT my mom was 15 when she got pregnant with me, turned 16 a month before I was born. Her family was so against her being pregnant that they sent her to a foster home! Even after I was born her family tried to send social workers in the room to convince her to give me up for adoption.
I am glad she chose to have me and to keep me. I grew up fairly happy and healthy. I am now 32, married, and have 3 kids of my own.
Being a teen mom does not make you a bad mom. In fact you already are a mom and are already facing some tough choices. Only you know in your heat what is best to do, if you want to have and keep your baby then don't let anyone else talk you out of it because I am sure the hurt and regret will eat you.
I wish you the best!!

Heather - posted on 07/08/2012

Who cares what your friends and family want. Its important what you want because you're the one who has to emotionally deal with the decision you make, they don't. To this day Ive never heard someone say they were happy or glad they aborted. No one ever is happy with that choice. 20+yrs later even.

Jennett - posted on 07/08/2012

Krista E. has some excellent points, especially about taking precautions so as not to have another unplanned pregnancy.

I agree that it is doable to be a teenage mom because there are so many single mothers these days than ever before. Make a realistic plan and stick to it. Under the best circumstances, it is challenging to be a single mother. I'm not saying this to discourage you, just speaking from experience. I didn't have my first (and only) child until I was 45, but I was alone and still am. I have a decent job but I barely make ends meet each month. My daughter was very much wanted and I've never regretted having her. Making the decision to be a single parent is a huge, selfless, sacrifice, because your child must always come first.

I admire that you are determined and are making realistic plans. Cosmetology school doesn't take a long time to complete and they usually have a job placement service. In time, you can build up a clientele and be making good money. Stay strong, hon, and don't let others try to influence you by putting fear in you. If you really want this baby, then show everyone how mature you are and that you can make this work. All the best to you and your baby.

Dianna - posted on 07/07/2012

I saw your post and had to comment. I was a young mother aswell... I had just turned 18 when I got pregnant with my oldest....I was uneducated (had gr 11) kind of immature and was very naive... I feel very strongly that a decision like you have made has to be made solely by you. It is very easy to be swayed through fear and the opinions of others... the simple fact of the matter is that when it is all said and done you are the one that has to own your decision, and live with it. I really hate hearing that people are attemping to sway the judgement of a mother-to-be on this subject because it is your life and you are the one that has to live with the results... the best advice that I think I can give to you is to show your friends and family that you own your choice, and make sure that it is an informed one. Its going to be a very very rough road ahead... and going from being a normal teen to having someone elses little life depend on you and you alone is a big responsibility and a very tough job.... I've been there.. and it wasnt easy...not a bit... it was a lot of hard work... BUT things do get better...since my son was born I went from broke, alone and generally lost....to a highschool graduate (I did correspondence, home schooling).....I've graduated 2 college courses... and I am now married and have 3 beautiful children... its was a lot of work... but things will get better if you strive and work for it.

Letece - posted on 07/07/2012

although i was not 15 when i found out i was pregnant with my now 3 yr old daughter i had just graduated from high school and i was 18 and on my way too an out of state college at the time but i know and understand what you could be going through. i would tell you to talk to a counselor about exploring other option before you decide to abort the child. this is a decision that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. the court will not allow him full custody if he is not able to show that he is actively participating in the child's life at the time he or she was born he may be given visitation but since he lives out of state and seems to want nothing to do with this child because he is telling you to abort this child i find it hard that he will be asking and pressing for any type of custody. i thought about aborting my daughter when i found out i was pregnant but my best friends were there to talk me out of it and encouraged me to explore other options like open adoption this way i could still see the child if i wanted to and still continue my education but i choose to keep her and as hard as things get i still don't regret the decision to keep her. i look into her face and she is my pride and joy i wouldn't give her up for nothing in the world. being a parent and continuing your life is hard but i couldn't imagine my life with out her now that she has been in my life for the past 3 yrs. why is your father pushing for abortion if i may ask? i hope in the end that you choose the right decision for you and your child because ultimately it is your decision alone to make..

Tina - posted on 07/07/2012

It's nice to know there's alot of compassionate and understanding people. You have all given this girl hope. I don't encourage young girls to go out and have babies obviously. But I do encourage any young girls to take responsibility for their actions. Whether that is keeping the baby or giving that a chance with someone else. They're responsible selfless choices.

Marisa - posted on 07/07/2012

Please consider adoption vs. abortion. I was given up for adoption at 6 months . My mom was 20 and already had an 18 month old. She made the ultimate sacrifice but she wanted the best for me. I am blessed to have wonderful parents and to have traveled to south America to meet her. She's a wonderful lady. I thanked her for giving me life. I'm praying for you and your baby. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Jennifer - posted on 07/07/2012

This sounds like a very scary time for you so please don't jump to any decisions too soon. You're probably under a lot of emotional stress which is now hampered by hormones from your pregnancy. While you talk about aborting or keeping the baby, there is a 3rd option which you havn't mentioned. You can lovingingly and unselfishly give this baby up for adoption to a family who is unable to have children of their own. While your heart is probably in the right place to do the right thing and be a better mom than your own mother, you really are still very young and have a whole life ahead of you. You should finish your schooling and wait to be the kind of mom you want to be when you're older and have your footing beneath you. Any talk of your boyfriend sticking around and being their to parent with you is probably very highly unlikely, you've only known him for 3 months, he's most likely not going to stick around. You need to look at what's going to be best for your baby first and then you second. I think it would be unimagineably difficult to give up a child that you love, but your baby will thrive and do best in a home where the parents are financially, emotionally, and physically able to give the baby a good home. You mentioned you knew you needed to go to therapeutic school to help you, which tells me you already know you're not ready to bring a child into this world on your own and at such a young age. My friend got pregnant very young as well and made the difficult choice to put her baby up for adoption to a great family. She wasn't ready or able to care for the baby and new her baby would be better off with a family that could give the baby everything she needed. Today, several years later, this same friend is married with beautiful children of her own. Don't rush things, think and pray about what you feel is best for your baby and you. Best love and wishes to you and your baby!

Amarri - posted on 07/07/2012

follow your first mind! its all about what you want to do! your mom and dad cant tell you what to do with your body! nor can the babys dad.figure if he didnt want a kid he would have taken bigger steps to prevent.. really you too when you lay dwn and dnt protect your self pregnancy is one of the two things thats the end result .....and being a mother is a BIG step from being sweet 16! trust me i had my son at 16.but havng the baby does not mean its the end of your life! it just means you have to grow up a little faster the the average teen! babys are blessings! so my advice to you is make a choice that YOU can live with dont let anybody press you to do something you dont want to! last summer i had an abortion because my mom and babys dad didnt ant me to have one i was due may.10th and i still think about my unborn it makes me wonder if he or she went in pain...thats something i'll never for get for as long as i live and honestly i have my days when im depressed about it. just make sure its what you want to do because at the end of the day you have to wake up knowing ur choice. and as far as the babys dad being a year older i dont see why he would be charged because you both are still under 18.and he cant get custody unless he can prove you as a unfit mother. just stay in school! and stay stable! and most important FOCUSED!

Tanya - posted on 07/07/2012

babies are a blessing....you are young and that's probably why everyone is being negative...all i can say is pray, pray, pray!

Molly - posted on 07/07/2012

Follow your heart and do what is best for you and your child. Consider all of your options, including adoption. Be realistic and you will make the right decision.

Abii - posted on 07/07/2012

Do what ever YOU want to do. you are the one who will bring the baby up and be there for them. iv got 2 kids and im 20years old. no one can tell you what to do.
No body needs to no who the dad is as long as you dont report it as rape it should be fine.
Having a baby is the best thing iv ever done in my life. You just have to remember there not a toy you can leave and cry you have to get up at all hours of the night. plus it costs loads of money to.

JUST DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST!!!
its your life.

Anita Or Annie - posted on 07/07/2012

I am a mother,and my daughter was young when she had a beautiful daughter at the age of fifth-teen also. I was a mother that told my girls at a young age do not have sex, because there is always a chance that you will get pregnant. My daughter did not listened and she end up pregnant and I told her since I have worn you what will happened you will have this baby and raise it, because I don't beleave in abortion unless it is rape or insist.I feel that if you parent's are not going to be on your side through this and with the baby. They do need to send you somewhere where you can get help with parenting classes and how to take care of your child . If your boyfreind ,father,mother and anyone else thinks you should abort the child then they don't give a dam about their blod ,because that child is part of them.I am very sorry that you are going through that by yourself and I say keep your child ,raise the child,love the child.I say get your education and show these people that you are better than they are.If you need to talk write to anitatarvi@yahoo.com. Anita tarvin

Dana - posted on 07/07/2012

While I'm at it, maybe I should also mention that I know someone young that is close to me that had an abortion and when she returned from the procedure, she told me how traumatizing the experience was. And she did also feel like she actually murdered her child. She has tremendous guilt over what she did. Every time I think about the things that she told me about it, I feel sick and sick at the thought that her young life has been irretrievably altered already. In my opinion, this is a much worse beginning to your young life as well. It is a much better alternative to your spirit and conscience to do the right things and not to fall to the pressure people are putting on you. Especially since you have such a strong resolve to keep your baby. The adults in your life can make your life and your choice very difficult, and they can also keep you from being able to do the things you need to do in order to keep and take care of your baby, which is why I suggested a social worker advocate, or some other type of advocate that you might find, to protect you and your baby. Just wanted to Post script (P.S.) my message with this important knowledge I have. Again, Good luck sweetie!!

Dana - posted on 07/07/2012

Oh honey! I don't have any advice that I'm sure others haven't already given you, but just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you! You're making a very wise but hard decision. I say wise, because you're sticking to your conscious and morals, which is a very important part of being grown. You are in a very tenuous situation, and there's no telling where this will take you, but I do think the therapeutic home is a good idea, as it will give you support that you need, as well as guiding you to become a good mother. Any judge or social worker anywhere I would think would be given to let you keep contact with your baby if you're doing everything in your power to grow up and they can see that you're really focused on doing the right things, and not doing anything that will hurt your baby. And I would say that is worst-case scenario, even if your child were put in a foster home for a short time till you can reach 18 or so or whenever you can provide for the child. And you would be required to continue your education under any conditions, so absolutely do that, and I would do as good a job as you can on it also. Good luck and one day the people that are telling you to abort will leave you alone about it, as they will see that you are taking responsibility, and there will be nothing they can do about it as it will be too late anyway. It might even be to your advantage to have a social worker with DHS (or your local DHR if that is what it is called) to be involved to advocate for you and your child, even before a judge, and to help you protect your right to keep your child. I just hope you really are a strong and focused young lady, because you have changed your life forever. Good luck!!

Kat - posted on 07/07/2012

Sweetie, you don't have to abort your baby if you don't want to, but if I can say something, please consider adoption. I am the mother of an adopted little girl, and she is the main delight of my life. Her birth mother was a lot like you-a teenager and unexpectedly pregnant. Abortion violated her religious principals, but both her and her family were not ready for both the financial and mental commitment a baby requires. Please remember that you are going to spend at least $100 a month in diapers, your time will no longer be your own, and you are going to be tied to your boyfriend for the next 18 years, whether or not he is charged, whether or not you break up or stay with him. In an open adoption, you could choose the adoptive parents, you'll be able to visit the baby on certain times, as will the birth father, and you'd be giving a miracle to someone like me who couldn't have a child biologically. Yes, you will feel the pain of separation from your baby, but it just might be the answer that is best for both you and your family. Please, at least consider it. Adoptive moms will thank you for just giving it some thought.

Jodie - posted on 07/07/2012

Ultimately, whatever you choose to do is YOUR decision.
Let's be honest here, how many teenagers remain together, especially after having a baby?! Please, do not make you choice based on what your boyfriend wants, as he is likely to not even be in the picture in a few years anyway.

I was pregnant as a teenager and I was pressured to abort. Part of me doesn't regret that decision. I was too young and I have two beautiful children who are now teenagers. But I always wonder, what would that child be like?

On the other hand, if you choose to keep the pregnancy and adopt, well.. I'm adopted myself. I had an amazing upbringing. I have also since met my biological parents and 2 siblings, the problem is, my biological mother wants to be a part of my life, she wants to be a mother to me. But my adoptive mother is the only mother I want and while Im happy to know my biological mother, I cannot connect to her on that level and hold her at an arm's length. This is something that, if you choose to adopt, you may need to prepare yourself for. Your child might not want to ever meet you or have anything to do with you later in life. You reliquish that right when you give them up.

If you choose to keep your baby and raise it.. you will most certainly need help, so have that in place well before.

I wish you well xx

Tomara - posted on 07/07/2012

Abortion is murder!! That's all there is to it!!! A child is the most awesome gift ever. So what some stupid men who don't even understand the beauty of life want you to comit murder. It's your body and your gift from the creator! Enjoy your little love!

Tomara - posted on 07/07/2012

Abortion is murder!! That's all there is to it!!! A child is the most awesome gift ever. So what some stupid men who don't even understand the beauty of life want you to comit murder. It's your body and your gift from the creator! Enjoy your little love!

Melanie - posted on 07/07/2012

Blessings to you for realizing that you are carrying a precious life! God put that baby there for a reason and kudos for being responsible and not aborting. The plans for that child's life have already been determined by God.
Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever ever do, but it is totally worth it. Stick to your decision. It is a decision that others may not agree with, but will be worth it once that baby arrives. You'll be amazed how quickly falling in love with him/her will happen.
Have you considered adoption? Open adoptions can be very rewarding.

Janna - posted on 07/07/2012

There are so many couples out there that want children and can't have them biologically. If you feel like you are too young to raise a child, then give the baby a good family who wants children. The baby can feel pain right now and deserves a chance to live. I have friends and family who have adopted children and love them like their own. Good luck with your choice, whatever you do it won't be easy.

Kristina - posted on 07/07/2012

I would never tell someone to get an abortion, but 16 is too young to raise a baby when you're still a baby yourself. I think the best option would be adoption for your little one and for you.

Sonja - posted on 07/07/2012

I am the child of a barely 16 year old mother. While I don't think she was pressured to have an abortion, she was encouraged to give me up. She held strong and kept me. While I don't encourage teenage pregnancy, it can be a hard life especially for the mother, I do think young mothers can be great ones. I think mine is the best. While we didn't have alot growing up, she made sure we had what we needed and I never felt like I was missing anything because I had plenty of love from her and the rest of my family. I have never felt like I was an accident because she always made me feel wanted like I was the best thing in her life, but she made sure I new that it was a difficult life because she wanted better for me and I have that because of her. I'm married to a wonderful man with two children of our own. Remember to stay strong and don't be to hard on yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect parent just give him/her lots of love and do the best you can and you will be the perfect mom in there eyes, at least until there teenagers:-)

Melissa Marie - posted on 07/07/2012

I would Also Suggest Adoption over Abortion......I am Taken a back by some of the comments about teen moms and Assistance and help from family.....Yes teen moms need government assistance and help from parents more often then not but saying that you gave your baby up so you didn't have to do either and suggesting that others do the same is a bit harsh. I was a 17 year old Mother and I was a Single Mother for six years and I went to school from 6 am to 3pm to work for 4pm to 3am and took care of my son in between got him up fed him took him to in school daycare which called me for every feeding and diaper change and charged me. Never had assistance public or parent and I have lived on my own since before having him....SO Not Every Single Teen Mom will be A Burden on Public or Parents So don't let that Be a Factor in Your Choice! I Finished School 6 months early. And If You Need alittle Help so what thats what its there for! You have to make 50+ in a two child home to not be qualified for WIC and I do not know anyone that makes that much a year right now

Christian - posted on 07/07/2012

It's ur child ur descion weather u want to do this at all. U r young and. U have a lot going on school problem with home life and ur child's father not being n the picture to help raise the baby. If u keep this baby then u have a full plate that's providing everything for this child. From reading what u said bout ur family u have no support they all want u to abort. That should b ur choice if u want that not theirs! U Want to keep the baby that's good. But gave u thought about what kjnd of work that is going to b involve n raking care of this little person?mo u don't because u r still a child urself.
I suggest u look in to adoption or letting someone n ur family that don't have children be a parent to that child. If family adopt its good because there is no stranger raising ur child and u can b around to watch ur child grow up n a stable environment. Bout the babies father if ur parents want to fe those statutory charges against him they can. He can get jail time for it too. I pray that u make the right choice for YOU and ur Unborn child. We can only make suggestions but u have to make the right choice for urself and ur future !!!! Good luck to u?

Allison - posted on 07/07/2012

I would suggest adoption over abortion...I am a mother of one perfectly healthy little boy and have been trying for nearly to years to get pregnant unsuccessfully with another child. There are many couples out there that would love to adopt your baby if you are unable to take care of it. Know that is a hard decision, but they do have open adoptions that you would be able to be in contact with the baby and see the baby as well! Think about that prior to making a decision you may later regret because it wasn't your decision!

Holly - posted on 07/07/2012

Seriously consider giving the child up for adoption to a Very deserving couple that is more equipped to raise a child in this very harsh world. Being a teen mom sucks especially without the father's help (I am 35 now and need his help every day). The expense to raise children is astronomical!.. I am sure the people of Utah support enough single teen moms.. Enjoy being a teen, enjoy your freedom; believe me you will be saddled with responsibilty soon enough.

Marsha - posted on 07/07/2012

Your decision is a most personal one and must be an informed one. Beset with similar, but less complicated geographical issues, at 16, I chose to have and keep my baby. I am now a proud Grandmother, my son was born premature, but very healthy, and since then, I have been unable to get pregnant again. Had I aborted, I would not have ANY children and he has been the joy of my life. You really have to take all matters into consideration. Adoption is always an option. Look to God and within yourself. I had decided this was a beautiful life I created and I had to be unselfish enough to face this challenge as a young woman. That's what worked for me, but everyone is not me. I understand that. But chose based on YOUR standards, and dear, I know the ship has sailed, but between the 2 of you, birth control is the best option for teens not quite inclined or ready for such a major life-changing event.

Meredith - posted on 07/07/2012

The most important thing is to do what feels right to you. I was in a similar situation when I was 19 & in college. I was lucky to have the support of my mom, but everyone else (especially my boyfriend at the time) really pressured me to terminate. I almost let them bully me into it but in the end I simply could not go against what I felt was the right choice for me, which happened to be becoming a mom just shy of my 20th birthday. The problem with these situations is that there is no easy answer, whatever you choose is going to end up being difficult and painful emotionally. I cannot tell you what choice to make, just that you need to do what is right for you because you are the one who has to live with your decision.

Nakia - posted on 07/07/2012

Post a reply! Please don't abort your baby because I had my son early also .he made me work harder because my baby depend on me I finish I high school and went to college and became a nurse . Now my son just graduated high school . I am still young and me and his dad is still together . We both wanted more kids but problem came along the way. I get pregnant easy but I lost a son in sept at birth because he was to early . We tried again and I had another son early he made thanks to my heavenly father,but he is having problem. I had a physiana to tell me to take him off the vent because he is not going to make an will not have a life . The point I am trying to make I didn't have any problem with my 1st pregnancy he was over due . If I would aborted him I may not gotten a chance of becoming a mom. Please keep your baby life belong to god not you

Carla - posted on 07/07/2012

I do not know the laws where you are but in NC they will not charge a boy for statutory rape if he is less than 5 years older regardless of the age of the girl, especially if they are in school. If he sues for custody he will have to file in the state where you and the baby live.

I am really posting to support your decision not to have an abortion.

Just a thought for you - Open Adoption is the new way and it does work. You get to pick the parents and type of contact you want with the adoptive parents.

I adopted a baby boy 17 years ago from a 15 year old and next week he is going to visit them for his summer vacation. We have shared him for 17 years and now we are all one big family. My son's first parents/grandparents/etc. have always been a part of his life. The kids actually stayed together and when they got out of HS they got married and now my son has a younger sister and brother.

Miain - posted on 07/07/2012

You're done with the first step, the decision making. And you sounded so sure of what you want. Congratulations! You have the first sign of maturiry and you don't sound that scared. BEING A MATURE AND EFFECTIVE MOTHER DOESN'T COME WITH AGE. There might be success stories of teenage moms or mom at 35 and still struggling like a 12 year old. People might have the same situation but they definitely have different reaction and resolution towards it. You know your self more than anyone else so you know what you're capable of doing. If you believe you can do it then go! We're right behind you. Those women advising you to abort has no right to be a mom. Whattever law on whattever state, all I know is YOUR RIGHT ENDS WHERE OTHER PEOPLE'S RIGHT BEGINS. Your right to decide stops when your baby's right to live begins. Regarding keeping the baby or having him/her adopted, cross the bridge when you get there. If you can be a working-student-single-mom effectively, then keep the baby. If you can't handle multiple responsibility then consider adoption. make sure you would choose the second parents of your baby carefully. givng the baby to an unfit second parents is almost the same as killing him/her.

Lauren - posted on 07/07/2012

Chill on the statutory rape thing. Nothing happens till he's an adult. I would seriously consider adoption to a nice family. Open adoption is really easy. I know you want to have something to love unconditionally but you have to do what's right and not what you feel. You will have more children only do it when you're ready and not just horny. Your baby will be fine and so will you. Living with the grandparents is not easy but you can make better choices right now if chose adoption. Take all the classes at the special school and learn everything you can about what happens after the baby is born. It's different than you think.

Dominique - posted on 07/07/2012

I would never abort a pregnancy at all. I have 3 kids and my middle child has Autism . I love her alot. I say have you ever thought about puting it up for adoption (open) . This is where you will be able to have contact Limited with the adoption parents and get photos of your child. I would consider that if you can't afford it and nobody will help you out with buying the things for your child.

Karen - posted on 07/07/2012

I am so sorry you are facing this lack of support. Do whatever YOU feel is best for you. It sounds like you have already made up your mind to keep the baby. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into making a decision you do not feel right about!!!!! PLEASE think about that little bundle you're carrying, and life he/she is destined for. IF it comes down to it, there is always adoption, but again, you want to keep this baby then do it. There are programs out there to help mothers in your situation. Do you have any other family? Aunts, Uncles, Cousins who might take you in? Hell, I'm betting there are even big hearted people out there who don't even know you who might be willing to help you out. Contact a few local churches for advice or put some feelers out on line as a last resort. Again, Do what YOU feel is Right in your heart! Do Not allow anyone to Force you into doing something you do not feel is Right.
As for the statutory rape, that really depends on your guardians and if they want to press charges. Sadly in most states it doesn't matter if it was consensual, it's still rape, so he can face prison time. There isn't really anything you can do about it if they want to press charges. Good Luck and take care of yourself!

Holly - posted on 07/07/2012

I understand how it feels to have everyone around you telling you to abort. I was 32 when I became prego. Even my father, who is antiabortion, didn't think I could carry a baby or my husband would be a good father. I have anorexica and bulimia and my husband of 11 years has schizopheria. Well, I put my heart into giving my child a chance in this world and 2 years later, Mary is a smart happy toddler, And we couldn't imagen our lives with out her! My husband is a wonderful loving father and I am so glad to be a mother to not one, but two children! Mary is 2 and her little brother, Benjamin, is almost 10 months. And my Dad; He is so happy to be a Grandpa! If you want something bad enough you can complish anything. Follow your heart and good luck! Parenthood at any age isn't easy!
Holly

Joanne - posted on 07/07/2012

im my opinion it is what ever you choose honey. it is your body and if you choose to abort or choose to have the baby or what have you its all yoyr decision just stay strong and you do what ever your heart tells you

Theresa - posted on 07/07/2012

Have the baby and put up for adoption. Don't hurt or kill your baby because you were too young to have sex. I'm adopted. It's wonderful to know my biological parents didn't about me and my brother. My parents couldnt have kids. So young kids like your self help others.

Kristi - posted on 07/07/2012

Noelle--

It sounds like you have made your decision and I commend you for keeping your child. I can promise you, you made the right choice. Whether you raise him/her yourself or give him/her up for adoption, it is better than the guilt you would have felt after an abortion. My boyfriend basically made me get one when I was 18. It's not a LONG story, but it is long and kind of private for here. Needless to say, every April, I get a little sick because that is when my baby should have been born. I suffered from a very severe panic disorder back then, so I was very easy to manipulate when I was panicked and terrified. BUT, I have had 2 kids since then and both times I was prego I quit taking all my meds (was also dealing with self harm & suicidal ideations), cold turkey. I didn't have any attacks, little or big, my depression was lifted (mostly) and my hair and nails were gorgeous! ; ) You already know you're doing the right things, I just wanted to give you a little more confirmation and support.

My daughter's older sister, from her dad, was 15 when she had her first and 17 when she had her second. Even though everyone was supportive, we were all shaking our heads in sadness, because we felt like the cycle was starting all over again. Her oldest sister has 3 kids and she is 22, but she is in jail, longer story. Anyways, Melissa dropped out of school shortly after her son was born and that's when we all just gave up on her being anything more than a single mom on welfare. (nobody ever treated her or said anything to her like that though!) But she proved us all wrong, she went to night school, got her GED and then started taking college classes. She did quit school again when her daughter came along because she didn't want to live with her crazy grandma anymore. So, she found a job, she's been working hard. She got a little promotion, which gave her a regular schedule and better pay. She has her own apartment, it's small but it is adorable and it's just right for the 3 of them right now. She gets help from family and friends and she missed out the traditional teenage stuff but she accepted responsibility for her actions, just like you are, and now she wouldn't trade those babies for the world! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and will be able to make things work, too. Just remember, as excited as you are right now, there will be times when you'll feel just as overwhelmed and as exhausted and you might wonder "WTH are am I doing?" but, then your baby will stop crying, you'll get an extra shift at work so you can pay the electric bill, the dishes will be done and finally you will go check on your baby while he/she is asleep and as you gaze at that perfect, tiny little face, you'll remember..."this is what I'm doing and he/she is worth every minute of it."

I know you've had plenty of people offer you their email and/or private msg. but I'm going to throw my name in the pot, too. kcisneros@cox.net There are some things you said that I have also dealt with and may be could offer you some support, as well. Take good care. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your little peanut.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/07/2012

Adoption *is* an option. But please don't throw it around like it's some perfect, painless, compromise. I am the birth mom of a healthy, happy, 13 year old. She's being raised by a wonderful family, and I am married and raising 4 kids of my own. I still get depressed on her birthday, and my eyes are filling with tears as I right this. Adoption can be the best choice, but you cannot know the piece of yourself that you are giving away, until the baby is born, and another woman walks away with her.

Jodie - posted on 07/07/2012

Being a parent is hard at any age and just because you are a teenager, doesn't mean that you are going to be a bad parent. I know some teen parents who are much better parents than some who became parents in their 30s or 40s.

Jodie - posted on 07/07/2012

I don't know what help you can get in the US but here in the UK, you can get help from the council and NHS. How does your boyfriend's family feel about the baby; if they are happy with you keeping the baby, I would find out if you can live with them before and after the baby is born.

Beth - posted on 07/07/2012

I turned 16 1 week before my son was born. Just let me tell you I had no clue what being a parent takes a toll on you. I had lots of help but I also started to resent my son for all the things I was missing out on.
Everything turned out kinda ok with much help from my parents. But I believe my son would have excelled more with two stable mature parents.
Best of luck to you, talk with people who are not envolved so close to you.

Beth - posted on 07/07/2012

I turned 16 1 week before my son was born. Just let me tell you I had no clue what being a parent takes a toll on you. I had lots of help but I also started to resent my son for all the things I was missing out on.
Everything turned out kinda ok with much help from my parents. But I believe my son would have excelled more with two stable mature parents.
Best of luck to you, talk with people who are not envolved so close to you.

Kerrie - posted on 07/07/2012

Keep, keep,keep is my opinion! Who cares what everyone is advising you to do. Tell them its your baby, your decision is made and you are so happy about it. Its the first of many hard things you are going to have to do but its the right thing for you. I had an abortion at 18 and still regret it more than anything else I have ever done. I fell pregnant at 30 through a 1 night stand and although I traced the father he decided to have nothing to do with us and I am doing it on my own and I LOVE it and my miracle daughter more than you could ever imagine. I do have great support with friends and family but trust me at the start of each day and end of each night it is me who does everything and that just gives me purpose. I know I will not be judged by God as I am strong and I am doing the right thing. I am a fantastic person and that is why I have so much support, my daughter loves me (shes 7 now) I work to support us, have a house, a car, 2 cats and a dog! I don't have a partner/ husband, just the way it has worked out and although you are younger and will probably miss out on completely celebrating your youth, that is not the end of the world at all, do it when you are my age, (38). Good luck mate, I'm proud of you for knowing what you want and asking for advice on how to get everyone off your back, you wont regret it, I can wholely promise you that :)

Beth - posted on 07/07/2012

Remember to work towards creating the best life for you and your child. Education is important, remember to get as much support as you can for yourself and your child - be it from friends, family and the surrounding community.

Yes it will be hard work. Your child will respect you more for wanting to better your life and that of your child's, and doing everything in your power to achieve what you want.

Tiffanie - posted on 07/07/2012

Good Job GIRL!! Way to Go!!! GOD, YOUR FATHER is VERY proud of you right now!!! I hope you will contact me, and I will be here for you in prayer! Remember, Children are a gift! You only receive gifts on SPECIAL OCCASIONS right???? This should be a WONDROUS, BEAUTIFUL, and BLESSED time in your life!!! DON'T EVER FORGET THAT! I am here if you need prayer or support!!