15 month old is not napping

Karen - posted on 01/16/2009

oh and btw i am not confident in what i am doing. i am a first time mom, and i guess i won't feel good about my mothering until he is a well adjusted kind thoughful 40 year old man. - who will hopefully remember to call his mother every now and again.

Karen - posted on 01/16/2009

Elena - what is your pre-nap routine? Maybe a little tweak will help. I used to nurse my little guy all the way to sleep thinking that was the only way and all those people who say "drowsy but awake" were on drugs - LOL. But I just recently started trying that consistently and it has worked well for him. And now I must eat humble pie.

Patricia - posted on 01/16/2009

Karen that's exactly what I mean, you understand your little guy and are doing what works for him and that's "the trusting your instinct thing" I'm talking about.  I never said you were doing anything wrong, so I'm sorry if you were reading into my comments about what I saw with my brother as directed towards you. He did not trust his instincts as he later admitted.  He was freaked out and consulted everyone else and was told this sleep schedule thing was the only way.  I said in my comment, if that works for you then do it, but don't just do it because a book or a doctor tells you to if you know in your heart that it's not a fit.  I'm sorry that you felt like you had to defend your technique.  If you are confidant in what you're doing then you have nothing to worry about.  I just hate to see people telling a mother what to do when it may not be a fit for her.  That's all I was trying to get across.  There is no "right" way to raise these precious gifts and I think the importance of instinct is lost for some.  That was my point.  I'm sure your little guy is amazing and you sound like a very attentive mother to his needs.  All the best to you and yours in '09 and always.

Karen - posted on 01/16/2009

my son getting good sleep makes him happy. he is so smiley when he wakes and we have lots of fun while he is awake because he is well rested alert and happy... when he doesn't sleep well or as much, he gets frustrated easily and cries at the drop of a hat. when he gets good naps and night sleep, it's not like that at all. happy smiles and lots of fun play. it is NOT about going about my day and being selfish, it's about understanding my little guy and what his needs are and makes him the happiest. he's not a puppet and it's not a power struggle.

Patricia - posted on 01/16/2009

Oh I just hate all these, "Let her cry, 25 mins., 30 mins, 35 mins, stick with it!"  It really bums me out.  Good for you if that works for you, but I don't believe in it.  Follow your instincts.  If it feels right to you then do it, but if you know it's not a fit for you and you're just doing it because some book or nurse or doctor told you to then I would think again.  You know yourself and your child better than these folks.  Do what works for you and not what is more convenient, but what you know in your God given instincts to be right for you and your child.  People thought I was nuts the way I dealt with my girls, but I can't stress enough how close we are now.  They TRUST me not to just force bullshit rules on their life.  It's not a power struggle thing with us, it's, this is what we're doing now and they go with it because they know I'm not treating them like my little puppets.  I don't know, I'm ranting now, but I'm sure you can tell I feel pretty strongly about this.  I'm sure you'll find what works for you.  All the best to you and your family.

Patricia - posted on 01/16/2009

Just FYI my brother did the Heathy Sleep Habits book too and his kids always looked like they were in a daze.  It broke my heart.  They looked like they didn't know if they were dreaming or awake because they were sleeping soooo much.  I would just think about how I feel when I oversleep (a concept easily forgotten during these years because you're so exhausted).  Oversleeping is not good either.  The kids were groggy and spacey and developmentally way behind my kids (cause mine were up and alert and learning and playing during the day)  These kids were up briefly and right back down for more naps.  To me it seemed like it was just more convenient for my brother and his wife to have them down all the time (which I can appreciate, but wasn't in to), so they could go about their day.  Some people can't handle the long days and maybe it's better for the kid to just be asleep, so they're not being treated badly by a stressed out parent and that is what I observed with my brother.  I noticed someone else's comment about "sleep begets sleep".  She wasn't kidding! My nephews were asleep all the time.  Sooo sad.  (oh and by the way they are a mess now too...ages 4&6)

Brenda - posted on 01/16/2009

11 hours is enough sleep isn't it? thank goodness for that night time sleep!!!!!!!!!!!

Patricia - posted on 01/14/2009

My little one did the same exact thing!!  So frustrating.  We started leaving her in the car seat.  Sometimes we would carry it in the house without taking her out and sometimes we would just park the car in the garage and leave her in the car with the car door and the door into the house left open so we could hear when she woke up.  People thought we were nuts, but I was like you, I couldn't handle the crying.  On the days when the car didn't work, I would lay with her in our bed with the curtains drawn and give her a warm bottle and sure enough, she was out (sometimes I was out too, which was ok a lot of the time cuz I was exhausted, but other days I would wish I had gotten something done.)  It's a tough time, but now my girls are 6 & 8 and I love that we didn't make a big deal about it and they eventually grew out of it.  We are actually really close because we were really able to bond in that way and even now sometimes they still snuggle up with us.  It's really sweet.  Good luck with your 15 month old not napping.

Karen - posted on 01/14/2009

I use the Healthy Sleep Habits book and started a 6:30 bed time (I couldn't do 5:30). I have seen a great improvement in naps over the last 3-4 weeks. He took a 2 hour nap this afternoon, when before 40 mins was a miracle. It doesn't seem like it will work at first, but keep up with it. Sleep begets sleep as the book says.

Elena - posted on 01/14/2009

Funny you say that "Free Livingston" my sister just dropped off that book. I'm just not sure if I agree with putting her to be so early (5-5:30). I also can't stand to let her cry. In the book it say to let her cry for a whole hour! I thought I was doing good at 20 minutes. I know I will just have to try my best to tune her out (it just breaks my heart). .

Free - posted on 01/14/2009

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Developmentally your child needs to nap. As the childcare worker said, children don't choose to sleep. We know they need it and it's up to us to provide that quite time for them. When they see their choice is to be in bed, maybe w/ books - or sleep, they'll give up and go to sleep.

Erin - posted on 01/14/2009

Babies need their rest - keep after your 15 month old not napping and he will catch on! My son occasionally doesn't nap in the afternoon, but he's in his crib for 1.5 hours and he knows it. At first he would cry - sometimes up to 45 minutes, but then the next day, he would maybe cry for 5 minutes. They catch on pretty quickly to the time in the crib.

Elena - posted on 01/14/2009

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there with a 15 month old not napping.

Terleeah - posted on 01/14/2009

Coming from a child care worker, some Toddlers don't choose to nap through the day even when you know they are tired and then it becomes very frustrating when they get so cranky in the afternoons! Kids are SO smart and if you are leaving your little one for no more then 20minutes in her cot she has probably worked out that she will be picked up after this time. Try and leave her for 25 minutes and then 30 and just gradually increase this time by 5minutes or so. I understand that it is hard to listen to her cry, I have an 8 1/2 month old and he cries before he goes to bed to. If she has a routine where she eats lunch at the same time, try the same things every day; have lunch, maybe a story and then say night night mummy because it's time for a sleep now. Try and eliminate too many toys in her cot as she may just play quietly when you think she is asleep! I hope I have helped a little bit at least! Sometimes our stubborn children just refuse point blank because they are just So cheeky! Be persistant, it will be hard but it will be worth it in the long run.

Christina - posted on 01/13/2009

My son stopped taking naps around 16 months and will randomly take them now... I never was one to let him cry in his bed. We usually have quiet time each day when he is tired (reading books, telling stories) but NO napping. Its tough bc yoyu never get a break.

Yvylyn - posted on 01/13/2009

i get ya! i had this problem too when arianna used to have 2 naps a day then refused to take her morning nap. she used to cry n mum told me that we shouldnt force it on her. mum said that perhaps she's dropping her morning naps which she was. so now before her afternoon nap, i give her a bottle before she goes down n it works. i know she's tired and it is tough becoz we all need a break in between. i dont know if the milk will work, but i hope it does. all in all, go with what works for the child. as long as she sleeps thru the night, i think she'll be ok. good luck!

Clair - posted on 01/13/2009

i had this problem with my little boy he stopped sleeping in the day, i never gave in i use to put him to bed the same time every day and he soon lernt that it was going to happen still, i know it sound hard on your little one but if you let them walk over you they will do it forever!

Rebecca-Alison - posted on 01/13/2009

My little boy was not napping at 15 months and i thought he was tired as some days he would but most days he didn't, I did what you did tried the car in the end i gave up and just played with him through his little tired spell or went to the park. He is now 2 and has not had a daytime nap since but has always slept 11/12 hours every night which is great, rather have that and let him be happy. we paint, play in the garden. I found sometimes instead of sleeping hewould just sit for 10 minutes or so on my knee and watch childrens tv and I would explain what was going on. My advice to you is go with what you child wants.

Tamara - posted on 01/13/2009

She may just be ready to stop the daytime sleeps.
My son stopped his sleeps at the same age, it is tough to begin with, and they can be very grouchy for the latter part of the day, he would occasionally want to sleep at about 4pm, but i would just do my best to keep him awake, and then put him to bed at 7pm

when she cries and is grumpy, my advice would be to give her lots of things to occupy her mind, take her to the park, go somewhere she likes to go or do an activity with her.

then before you know it, it will be bedtime. :)

Laura - posted on 01/13/2009

It sounds like your little one may be outgrowing her nap. She may skip a nap for a few days, but then take one randomly. It's a bit early (for her age) to start dropping the nap, but it happens. It's the mom (us) that needs that rest, too. I'm sorry for ya that it's early!

Patricia - posted on 01/14/2009

My little one did the same exact thing!!  So frustrating.  We started leaving her in the car seat.  Sometimes we would carry it in the house without taking her out and sometimes we would just park the car in the garage and leave her in the car with the car door and the door into the house left open so we could hear when she woke up.  People thought we were nuts, but I was like you, I couldn't handle the crying.  On the days when the car didn't work, I would lay with her in our bed with the curtains drawn and give her a warm bottle and sure enough, she was out (sometimes I was out too, which was ok a lot of the time cuz I was exhausted, but other days I would wish I had gotten something done.)  It's a tough time, but now my girls are 6 & 8 and I love that we didn't make a big deal about it and they eventually grew out of it.  We are actually really close because we were really able to bond in that way and even now sometimes they still snuggle up with us.  It's really sweet.  Good luck with your 15 month old not napping.

Erin - posted on 01/14/2009

Babies need their rest - keep after your 15 month old not napping and he will catch on! My son occasionally doesn't nap in the afternoon, but he's in his crib for 1.5 hours and he knows it. At first he would cry - sometimes up to 45 minutes, but then the next day, he would maybe cry for 5 minutes. They catch on pretty quickly to the time in the crib.

Elena - posted on 01/14/2009

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there with a 15 month old not napping.

Rebecca-Alison - posted on 01/13/2009

My little boy was not napping at 15 months and i thought he was tired as some days he would but most days he didn't, I did what you did tried the car in the end i gave up and just played with him through his little tired spell or went to the park. He is now 2 and has not had a daytime nap since but has always slept 11/12 hours every night which is great, rather have that and let him be happy. we paint, play in the garden. I found sometimes instead of sleeping hewould just sit for 10 minutes or so on my knee and watch childrens tv and I would explain what was going on. My advice to you is go with what you child wants.