16, too scared to tell my parents, & i don't know how to get hold of a doctor

Grace - posted on 08/10/2012 ( 28 moms have responded )

51

0

3

I just found out 2 weeks ago that i was pregnant . I am now 6 weeks & 5 days pregnant. I started having brown spotting last night & brown discharge. Today, it continued but mild cramps came. & now, i'm bleeding like a regular period. Could i be having a miscarriage ? :(

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Missie - posted on 08/11/2012

14

0

0

If you can't talk to your parents, talk to another adult that you trust, but you need to see the doctor RIGHT NOW. Be careful and go NOW.

Angela - posted on 08/11/2012

10

0

0

I know it seems scary but you have to tell someone. If not your parents maybe another relative or family friend. I miscarried and needed a D&C because i was hemorrhaging. So I think your health will have to come above your fears in this situation. Maybe have a friend with you when you tell your parents? It might help calm you or have someone to talk to in case they get upset. I hope everything works out for you whatever you decide to do. I think it would be much worse to face this alone.

Renee - posted on 08/13/2012

12

11

1

Grace, I was 15 years old when i got pregnant with my first son. I went to my father along with the father and told him together. Of course my father was very upset he wanted to make sure i was okay and healthy. I lost my mother at 11 years old. I hated the look on my father,s face and I hated that i was so dumb, But in the end my son is 37 yrs old life was hard and the father of my son walked away before he was born, So please don't think getting married to the father of the baby will solve the problem it won't. I will keep you in prayers and thoughts but please tell your parents and get the doctor appt; you need to stay healthy. In my thoughts sweet girl go to the DR. it could be life or death.
Concerned for your heath

Crystal - posted on 08/12/2012

33

0

0

@ Wiseoldmom



I knew I was pregnant when I was 17 within 3 weeks, I could just tell something was different with my body.



When I was 28 and got pregnant with my daughter, I knew within 2 weeks. Some women are just that in-tune with their bodies, and a lot of time if there's any reason for us to think we may have gotten pregnant, we pay attention.



I took 2 pregnancy tests and both came back positive.



Long and short, it really doesn't matter how she knew, she just did.. (I was also starting to show at 2.5 months... I'm thin, it stands out)

Mary - posted on 08/11/2012

28

1

1

Hi i am 17 and I have a 6 month old son. Just be sure you tell your parents because it gets better. Are you having heavy bleeding or light bleeding? Sometimes bleeding is normal but you would be in some pain for it to be a miscarriage. But do tell your parents I promise no matter how hard it seems now it gets better. I got kicked out but now we are fine and happy. :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

28 Comments

View replies by

Samantha - posted on 08/20/2012

23

0

5

I know you are scared. But for the sake of your little one, tell your parents!!!! Best of luck to you.

Jolene - posted on 08/13/2012

2

1

0

Please talk to someone, do you have an aunt or sister that you can confide in and have them help you talk with your parents.. Your family needs to know. I know its hard, but you shouldnt ignore a potential medical problem. Your family will find out eventually... and keeping lines of communication open rather than hiding it is the mature thing to do as you will be entering motherhood, and you need your parents to respect you. If you have miscarried or had a false positive - you need to practice safer sex. There are diseases far worse than having a baby. Hep c,, hiv... your old enough to know that your body is your temple and shouldn't let a man give you something that can harm you.

Grace - posted on 08/12/2012

51

0

3

@ Diane: Yes, i live on an island actually & we have about 3 clinics. I was thinking of going today. There's no one here who could take me so i just asked my older cousin . Thanks for the help guys. :) I really appreciate it . &

@ Crystal: I totally agree . Something felt really different w/ my body & that's exactly how i knew in the first place . :)

Beth - posted on 08/12/2012

1

6

0

There are times in your life when you really need your mom and now is the time. Being pregnant is stressful enough so don't try to do it by yourself. If you don't have the relationship with your mom, find another person who can be your mom figure.

Diane - posted on 08/12/2012

5

11

0

Your parents will be schocked at first but ur baby n it health comes first.

Angela - posted on 08/12/2012

10

0

0

Pregnancy tests detect a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), which your body begins to produce at a rapid rate after the fertilized egg attaches to your uterine lining; in fact, the level of HCG in your blood might even double every two days. If the home pregnancy test indicates that you are pregnant, you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible to take a blood test.

I agree and I believe only you know your body. Either way going to the doctor will help with making sure you stay healthy. I think she was just trying to be helpful by giving other options. its true that sometimes there are false positives but only you know your symptoms.

Grace - posted on 08/12/2012

51

0

3

@ WiseOldMom :
Well, i always do research online & I've learned it in health class too . I learned that once you miss a period, it's possible to have a positive on your HPT. And that's exactly what happened. I was waiting & waiting for my period to come. I had the cramps but no period . So i waited a few more days & still nothing so i ran to the store & got a test & it came out positive. I wanted to make sure so i went to get a different pregnancy test & it came out positive as well. PLUS, i had the symptoms. But thank you , i'll be sure to keep that in mind. :)

WiseOldMom - posted on 08/12/2012

9

0

2

At 6 weeks, how did you know you were even pregnant? Urine pregnancy tests can give false positives & negatives at this early stage. Most likely, you were not pregnant. Many teenagers have irregular periods. If the bleeding is no more than your normal period, it probably is. If you notice abnormal bleeding, you should seek out a medical professional.

Either way, you might want to seek out contaceptive help. Unwanted pregnancies at any age can be prevented. Take care of yourself.

Angela - posted on 08/12/2012

10

0

0

I'm sorry to hear that and I know the pain of a miscarriage so I feel for you. I agree that you should make an appointment to make sure everything is okay. I will pray for you and your family. Hang in there because this will get better with time. Take care and God bless. :)

Grace - posted on 08/12/2012

51

0

3

First thing's first . . . I wanna thank all of you for your helpful comments! It really encourages me to tell my parents . Sadly, I did have a miscarriage :( My bleeding got really heavy & i had cramps that felt like normal period cramps but earlier tonight when i was sitting w/ my boyfriend, i started feeling sharp pain in my lower abdomen & once i got home , i went straight to the bathroom & noticed i had a miscarriage . Now, all i'm thinking about is if i have leftover tissue inside & thanks to all your comments , i realize that i really need to tell someone .

Jennifer - posted on 08/11/2012

17

0

0

Oh sweetie, please tell an adult. Often with a miscarriage it is important to be seen afterward. If any residual tissue is left behind they need to get it so you don't get an infection. I was also a teen parent and got pregnant at the same age you are now. I was scared to death to tell my mom because she didn't even know I was sexually active. On top of that, she was a very cruel mother who had a strict moral code and if people didn't follow it she could say hurtful things. It did work out though. My son is now 18 years old and I have 4 other children, a wonderful husband and went to college. I am now a therapist that works with teenagers who are going through similar situations that I went through. I say all this because if you are pregnant and have a child it does not have to change your dreams for yourself. My son is amazing and I wouldn't have changed anything. He starts college this fall and has turned out just fine :)

Jessica - posted on 08/11/2012

8

0

0

you need to tell your mom and go to the Dr miscarriages are not fun iv been through it.
your mother will eventually understand its not like being made at you will make it go away
you have made your bed now you need to take care of it.my best friend got pregnant at 15 she is now married and has three children all together life goes on

Marla - posted on 08/11/2012

2

0

0

You should tell your parents , however if u are that scared maybe there is someone else in your family like an aunt that u can tell first and have them at your side when u do.

Most important as that u see a doctor ASAP! Y can even go to plan parenthood on your own !

Crystal - posted on 08/11/2012

33

0

0

Grace, there is nothing more frightening than being a young girl and pregnant without the support of your parents. If they don't know they can't help you, and in times like this, as hard as it is, there is nothing more comforting or reassuring than the love and support of your parents.

I do not know your family dynamics, they could be extremely strict, they could be down right horrid, or they could be like most and just want the very best for you which doesn't include being a teen mom because it's the hardest life choice/route a girl can make for herself.

I was 17 when I first got pregnant, my mother had always said if I got myself pregnant the problem would be mine to deal with, 'If you're old enough to have sex you're old enough to deal with the consequences and decisions'... I did not lack education. But when it came time, I was terrified to tell her, especially because she was never shy with educating me or letting me know how she felt.

I have to admit, I did not get the sympathy I wanted, I just wanted a hug from her, but instead she was somewhat cold, mainly due to her disappointment. In your case, because you seem to be having some concerns, I could only imagine you'll get the love and support you need.

I'm 30 now, I have a 2 yr old beautiful girl and I don't have any regrets about telling my parents.

Long and short, Grace, you need to make sure you're taking care of yourself, and with limited resources you need the help and experience of adults, whether it's your parents, an aunt, an older cousin, a family friend... anyone you can turn to.

I hope the decisions you make turn out to be the best!! Good luck to you young lady, and be sure to get checked out asap. If you are miscarrying, you'll be devastated to learn after the fact if it was at all avoidable.

Anne - posted on 08/11/2012

5

0

0

I agree wih Missie, Grace; find an adult that you trust to take you to a doctor right away. You and your baby need medical care and this is an emergency.

Carrie - posted on 08/11/2012

2

0

0

a crisis pregnancy center will help you. (not Planned Parenthood) I will pray for your and your child. If you need some support, go to BirthMothers, they will match you up with a friend to support you.

If you'd like, I can help you find some support.

Anne - posted on 08/11/2012

5

0

0

I'm sorry you have to deal with this; you must be so scared! I don't know your parents but unless they're truly abusive (not just occasionally grouchy or nagging like all parents are sometimes), they will help you. They can find out now, to try to save your baby's life and take some of the other pressure off of you, or they can find out later, when all they can do is hold you and tell you how sorry they are. If your daughter was pregnant, would you want her to tell you even if you were worried to know what she was facing? I hope you can be brave enough to tell them what you're going through right now. Sure, there are medical clinics that can help with the medical part of this and even counseling, but your parents deserve the chance to help you. You're hiding such a huge part of your life from your parents that even if this is pregnancy ends, things can't be good between you because they don't know the truth so they can't give you the comfort that you need. It takes too much energy to hide your moods, body, morning sickness, soreness, phone calls, texts, and everything else about pregnancy from your family and that will make you feel farther from them, not closer. You're either going to need to be brave enough to have that tough conversation, or hide almost every part of your life from the people who love you most. It's normal to have arguments with your family at this age and they'll be worried about you, but they have the experience to help you deal with it and all of you can handle that worry a lot better than you can by yourself. Please don't shut your parents out of such an important part of your life; remember, they were 16 once, too! Maybe your mom even had sex or was pregnant at that age but didn't tell you that because she didn't want you to have to go through this. Also, being pregnant means that you've been exposed to STDs and those can affect your baby if they're not treated now. You might be having a miscarriage but even if you're not, you deserve to have as much support and help as possible, and your parents deserve the chance to help you. I'll be praying for all of you!

Nina - posted on 08/11/2012

3

0

0

You have to tell your parents cos sooner or later they will find out. Also for the spotting they need to know inorder to see a doctor. You may be losing ur baby.

Pamela - posted on 08/11/2012

1

0

0

God loves you and your parents love you. Talk to your parents. God will use them to guide you. I will be praying for you and your family.

Tina - posted on 08/11/2012

1,314

28

301

Please ask for help. I know it's scary although your parents may be a little shocked at first they will appreciate you going to them. You need to get help. It certainly could be a miscarriage. If you're not they will end up finding out anyway.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/11/2012

18,426

9

2864

You really need to tell your parents. As hard as it may be, they need to help you. Yes, you could be having a miscarriage. You can call up your local planned parenthood to get in, or go to the ER. Do not just ignore this, and please tell your parents. If you end up stay9ing pregnant, they will find out one way or another. Good luck!

Skyla - posted on 08/11/2012

12

9

3

When I was pregnant with my first child I had the cramps, and spotting, but never the bleeding. I would say tell your parents so you can get the the ER. Its not safe to stay quiet about it. I know how you feel about being scared to tell them, but trust me I think your parents would be more worried about your health and well being to get to angry with you. I hope that you are not miscarrying, and I will be praying for you and your child.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms