16 yrs olds and curfew

Liz - posted on 08/09/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Any suggestions on how to approach the curfew discussion with my 16 yr old. He gets very deffensive and I just want him to realize that there is a time to be in by at 16 yrs old. Deciding to stay at a friends house at 10pm for the night is not kosher with us.

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Amy - posted on 08/13/2009

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When I was in high school I had a 10 o'clock curfew (phone calls as well) on weekdays and mid-night on weekends. mom said that anything going on after mid-night probably wasn't anything i needed to be doing...and it usually wasn't. If I wasn't in by curfew I was grounded for a week. One time there was a 4 day weekend so I thought it still counted as a weekend so instead of fully grounding me I had to be in before sundown (about 6-ish) everynight for a month. Of course I hated having to come in before all of my friends, but I was one of the few that stayed out of trouble growing up. I'm definately thankful for it now and plan on having the same rules set for my son.

Wanda - posted on 08/12/2009

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You, your husband and son must set the boundaries. It should be joint effort, not a dictation from parents. Your son must realize he is being given freedom and responsiblity for his actions and the ewill be his to loose. There should be warnings and if need be grounding as a final resort. Also, he is still a teen-child in your household and you are responsible for him and his actions until he is out on his own. Good luck, it is difficult, when they are on the cusp of being young adults.

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Sophia - posted on 02/21/2014

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I know kids feel old because of their age.. But the minute they need something. Then age mean something else. I am with you.

Cammie - posted on 08/18/2009

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Welcome to the world of teenagers. I have 19 and 21 year old daughters. I often was one of few moms who had curfews for my children. They all become defensive, shrug their shoulders, and even pout. However, I didn't give in except on very special occasions. I actually got a thank you from them as they got older. However, I know it isn't easy to go through, but then nothing is when parenting children. Don't discuss, just let him know the rules.

Jennifer - posted on 08/17/2009

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My curfew was 9 on weekdays and 11 on weekends...but i still got pregnant at 15!

Manie - posted on 08/12/2009

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I do agree 100 % what u said...we are the same way as parents she is going to be 16 ...but just cus she turns 16 does not mean she is gong to go nutty with us..we still have rules and we are still the parents!!! we are protecting them ...she our daughter goes out every otherfriday and is home by 10 but we may change it to 1030 ..we take her and bring her home ...she is not alowed to sleep over unless its summer time and when we no that there is a parent home.....and no older kiss having to watch them ..its parents ...if they dont like it then no sleep over thats that !!!

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Find out was ur city enforces!!! Thats how I got mine to realize that my curfew was not unreasonable. Ours here are 11 for 16 and under, and 12 for 17-18. So on weekends they had to be home by city, and during school days 10 pm.. so the grades dont drop. When they dropped it was 9 or earlier.

Leigh - posted on 08/09/2009

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Head on straight up no grey areas, lay it out in black & white. Do it with your husband so that you BOTH present as a united team. Your son may 'think', he has the weight of the world on him, well he's too young & mentally under developed to realise what that really means, & because your world revolves around his, let him know what will happen if he doesn't adhere to what your setting down. They're testing the boundaries at this age to see how far they stretch, you as a parent are required to guide them, regardless if they like it or not. BTDT if you can't have an open rapport now on something little, how you going to deal with the serious issues? Mentally I send you patience!!

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2009

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It was different when I was 16. We lived on a property in the country, so there was no-one to just wander the streets with, I had to rely on my parents to get me places anyway, so they always knew exactly what I was doing, and they totally dictated the time they'd pick me up, and it was usually by 11pm on weekends. They didn't run us around on weekdays except to sport. So that probably doesn't help you.



My stepdaughter mostly lives with her mother, so it is her mother's rules. She is 17, but really for the last 12 months, her curfew has been 9pm on school nights, and she is given free reign on non-school nights, as long as her mother knows where she is. I am not personally a fan of her lack of curfew on non-school nights. I think her mum has given her way too much leeway. But the problem is, if she is given a curfew, she just arranges to stay over at a friends place that her mum knows, and her friend doesn't have a curfew!! If it were me, I'd keep a tighter reign over it. I'd probably be looking at 11pm or so.

Sharon - posted on 08/09/2009

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LMAO its a discussion? When I was 16 my parents set the rules and I followed them or got the consequences. I was able to haggle a little if a movie we were watching was going to run a little over or for weekends.

Lucy - posted on 08/09/2009

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When i was 16 my curfew was 9pm on school nights and 10pm at weekends. This was only if my mum knew where i was though, i was never allowed to wander the streets or hang out (still did it though, mum just didn't know! lol)

Kelly - posted on 08/09/2009

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When i was 16 my curfew was 11 during the week and 12:30 on the weekends....i would just sit down and tell him that you need to set some boundries.... thats what my parents did and just tell him what you expect from him and that if he chooses to not follow those than he will get less freedom.....my curfew wasn't 11 and 12:30 in the beginning....i earned those as a curfew.....from getting good grades and being home on time and having a job.....just tell him that he is growin up and not everything is handed to you when you are an adult and some things have to be earned......good luck.....

Rabecca - posted on 08/09/2009

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When I was a kid my cufew was 8 pm on school nights(if my homeowrk was done) and 10 pm on weekends. With a huge rule about calling frequently and letting my parents know where I was and what I was up too. It actually made me feel safer knowing that if anything happened, someone knew where I was and when I was supposed to be back. (course Im a girl and my father was very graphic about what can happen to girls who are not careful) Good Luck 16 is a hard age, almost grown up, but not quite!

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