Communities

Welcome to Circle of Moms!!

All Communities > Welcome to Circle of Moms!! > 17 year old-Big baby

17 year old-Big baby

Barbara - posted on 01/23/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

16

5

I have a 17 year old step daughter who lives with us. She is a wonderful, loving girl who stays out of trouble. I have only been married to her father for 6 months, and she has lived with us since then. Heres my question... She is a big baby. Everyday something is wrong with her, I don't even ask anymore because it is always: I have a headache, I hurt my leg, I've got cramps, I am sleepy... just everything. I try to be sensative, but it's really hard to feel bad for someone on a regular basis. I have a 9 year old daughter I am trying to not raise as a big baby. So when she complains about anything I underplay it and it seems to be working. Do you all think my 17 year old is whiney because she doesn't get enough attention? I am afraid if we dote on her when she complains that it will encourage the whining. BUt, I really love her and want her to know we do love and care when she's hurting. I know I would feel the same way if she was my biological daughter. I just mentioned she was a step-daughter to point out that I did not raise her, so I don't know the root of the problem.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

2 Comments

View replies by

Rebekah - posted on 01/23/2009

120

13

It would be simpler if you have a reply figured out ahead of time, like, "I am sorry you don't feel well. Do you need my help or do you already know how to fix this problem?" This would let her express herself, show you are concerned, but keep the responsibility of her well-being in her hands. If she really is wanting you to take action, offer only solutions you can live with. "I can buy bananas at the store today, they really help with muscle cramps and are healthy too!" (for example) If she is just expressing herself she will feel that she has been heard and that you care enough to offer to help without bossing her around. This is a delicate balancing act with a teenager! Remember: Listening is an act of love! :)

Cyndi - posted on 01/23/2009

120

35

I would imagine that having a new step-mom AND younger sister within the past 6 months would be an enormous change for her.  She's probably trying to figure out her place in the family.  Yes, it sounds like she needs attention.  Teenage girls tend to be dramatic anyway but with such a major life change, it sounds like she's handling it pretty well, just needs to be reassured and given some loving attention.  If her mother is completely out of the picture or is not really there for her, that's another huge issue for her.  Underplaying her emotions is just going to make her feel as if her emotions are "wrong", which can make a person feel crazy.  I'm thinking quality time and communication with both you and her dad is what she needs.



 



http://www.somuchmorethanamom.wordpress....

Want to find out the opinions of this community?

Add Poll