18 month old just bit another child (not out of anger) while at a get-together

Sally - posted on 04/07/2010

I bit my sister when I was little & Mum bit me so I never did it again....My son was biten twice at Kindy on the cheek & near his ear (he has chubby cheeks), he had a ball the other boy wanted & they do it so quickly that it's almost impossible to predict & pounce on before it takes place, he was about 1yr old & I figured out which boy did it cos he was the only one with teeth - haha...Anyway my son is now almost 2.5yrs old & sometimes when I'm holding him he presses his teeth into my shoulder so I warn him "You better not bite me", it mus just be a temptation to sink their teeth into things from when they were teething. He seems to do the pressing into my shoulder with his teeth around bath time when he gets all hyped up. My friend suggested that if he did do it to bite him back but I can't imagine myself doing that, she says it's the only way that they fully understand how it feels & why it should not be done...she only means to do it enough to indicate if I put any more pressure on it's going to hurt. Not that my son has biten anyone but I find it much easier to stay at home with him & my 6mth old at the moment cos going out really disturbs their sleeping & eating habits, it's hard to time it as one has a long morning sleep & the other has a long afternoon sleep.

I would never ignore unacceptable behaviour especially when it involves hurting another child or person (although I realise biting is common in children, we still want to discourage it), there needs to be a consequence which could be taking a toy away for the afternoon or not being able to watch a favourite show. I would tell her if it happens again that I'll take "X" away for "X" amount of time.

Lesley - posted on 04/06/2010

my sons a biter hes always biting his little brother well used 2 an other children NONE of the mums whos children he has biten has thought that i always appolagiss sorry bout the spelling an they dont mind but i used the naughty step if she bites use the naughty step it worked 4 me he was realy bad at biting over a toy or just because there where there at the wrong time wipe her up an put her on the naughty step it dont matter where u r just do it an tell her say theres a seat at the end of the park tell her thats the naughty step an if she naughty she will go on it dont not go out u take wot she normaly eats in a bag or somthing dont just hide away cause she will never learn if u dont take her not being funny x cause i used 2 but i dont anymore his now in playgroup an hasnt biten yet fingers crossed lol but he has come home with scrach an things from other kids but i dont mind cause its all part of growing up

Bettye - posted on 10/09/2009

We raised 5 children. Biting back worked for us. One friend of ours had a child that was a little older that bit our little daughter so we quit visiting them.

Taylor - posted on 10/02/2009

Is your daughter working on breaking two-year-old molars through? My son has gone through two biting phases and thank heavens only ever bit me and his older sister, but it has only happened when he is trying to get teeth through. Try frozen teething rings and other teething remedies to avoid the situation. Keep in mind that it is a phase that a lot of kids go through and it will pass.

Debora - posted on 09/21/2009

IF VINGER DOES NOT WORK TRY A ONION .IT NOT HARMFUL SINCE BITING THEM BACK IF FEEDING --- BEHAVIOR ON TOP OF --- BEHAVOIR PLUS IF SOME ONE SEES YOU THEY CAN CALL DPS THAT IS CHILD ABUSE.

Rachel - posted on 09/21/2009

Biting medicine! You get an old Tylenol dropper and put apple cider vinegar in it. Next time they bite you tell them they need to get biting medicine so they wouldn't bite again. After one drop in their tongue the biting stops. It worked with my son!

Judith - posted on 09/01/2009

i have worked with a group of kids that age but am now of on maternity , most kids go threw a stage of either biteing or scrabing its not her fault are yours



. The best thing you can do is just remove her from the situation get down to her leave and nicely explain to her what she done wasn,t nice and its not nice to hurt are wee friends



. sometimes kids just get over excited and that could be a reason she bite , are as you said she usually had a nap at that time and was prob tired

Vivian - posted on 08/31/2009

often kids dont realize that it actually hurts to get bit . So biting them back ever so gental with explanation will often make them realize it hurts and they stop .

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2009

My 27 month old is going through bouts of biting. He'll bite for a while, stop, then start again. We've done the "NO" and ignore him thing, the little nip back thing, and the time out thing; and all work for a little while but then he starts up again. He is where he should be with respect to verbal expression, even a little advanced in some things like attention span and concentration, so it's not a verbal frustration situation. We've been told it occurs more frequently in large group setting, so we can't replicate at home. He was fine at his sisters recent birthday party where he was playing/with around 9 children, all who are older; so I am a little confused as to why it would happen in large group- per daycare- but not in that large group. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Angie - posted on 08/28/2009

Try vinegar in their mouth, it is not as harmful as dish soap but will get the point across.

Angie - posted on 08/28/2009

Try putting vinegar in their mouth, it is not as harmful as dish soap and they will get the hint after a few times of that bitter taste in their mouth after biting someone and will get the hint.

Linda - posted on 08/26/2009

My daughter was a biter at 18 months, it was a real problem. Everyone would get angry at me. I felt overwhelmed and didnt know what to do. It happened a few times. the last time she bit a smaller child and I found that it was happening because she felt very emotional. Everytime she got excited it was the same biting problem. She did not know how to express herself. My solution was that everytime we went into a new environment I would sit with her and play with her and the other kids until she got over it. I would let her know when she was hugging to hard or pushing and when I saw that she had the intentions of biting I would rush and let her know that it wasnt ok. After a few times she got over the biting stage. My daughter is now 15 years old and cant get her to stop talking and hugging people. She is the sweetest thing ever but often tells me that everytime she sees a baby she wants to bite them...LOL

Mary Cecilia - posted on 08/26/2009

i have a completely different problem, my 4yr old daughter bites and pinches and hits her younger 2 and a half yr old sister. she tries to bite me too but i move out of the way before she can. she also will bite or hit HERSELF in anger/frustration sometimes when i tell her no. she does have slight autism.. what is called PDD/NOS but i don't think this is something only an autistic child would do. i try to distract her when she does do this, also try just holding her arms down (gently but firmly) and hold her securely in my lap telling her i love her and that she needs to calm down and just relax. sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. i do make her hug and appologise to her younger sister when she's hurt her.



i should add that my 4yr old does have fair speech/communication, she's behind alil bit but is able to communicate her needs/wants though right now everything is a need to her. sometimes i'll even get a responce like "i NEEDED to bite/hit her mommy!" as an example. she'll even go from being a happy carefree child to an almost aggressive/moody child.

Jennifer - posted on 08/26/2009

I had a very difficult biter who I just recently resolved his biting issues. Here are some suggestions:

1) If you are not at home, make a BIG deal over the child that was bitten and turn your back on your child when you do this

2) if you are at home, pick your child up without making a fuss and put her in her crib or other location where she is isolated. Leave her there several minutes.

3) if it becomes habitual, give your child a teething ring and tell her she can bite that. If it's really bad, pin the teething ring on a ribbon to her shirt and explain she has to wear it until she learns not to bite. Hopefully, it will be so annoying she'll learn pretty quickly.

4) I did bite my son a few times--only when he bit me so hard and wouldn't let go and I was desperate to get him to let me go!

5) Stay vigilent! Try to head off biting before it happens. I just have to say "Uh-oh" (the phrase I use when I put him in his crib for misbehaving) or "no" and this prevents a bite. After a while your child WILL know it's wrong and you just have to correct.

6) Realize this is just a phase. Your child can't communicate her frustrations because she doesn't have enough words yet.

I don't know what exactly solved our biting problems, but I used all of these methods and after several months of consistent correction, we have been bite-free for about a month now. My son is 20 months old.

Jessica - posted on 08/26/2009

my daughter is a biter. and telling her no thats not nice, and slapping her hand isnt working. I dont want to bite her ause she might take it the wrong way. ( and its mean.) any suggestions

Desirae - posted on 08/26/2009

My daughter was a biter and I didn't know what to do about it either. I waited until she got to the age where she understood that it hurt, and then I bit her back one day. Biting back hurts both mom and child, but if they're old enough to understand the explanation of "see, that hurts doesn't it... do you like it when someone does it to you?" Only then have I found that biting back worked.

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2009

I'm with the mom's who said that she may have wanted to express something and didn't have the words to do so. This may have been her way of attempting to get her point across. If it happens a lot then I would be worried. Talk to her and remind her that it is not okay to bite, teeth are for biting food not friends. Good luck:0)

Monica - posted on 08/26/2009

I wasn't a regular "biter" when I was a child but I actually did the same thing to another child. All I remember from it was that the child's cheeks were so chunky that I wanted to bite them and I did. I never did it again but it did happen. Good luck!!!

Corrie - posted on 08/26/2009

My son is 20 months and just started biting not too long ago. I have had quite a few people tell me to bite him back and he won't do it again!

Marjorie - posted on 08/26/2009

Quoting Charlene:

My daughter has been bit at a playdate in our home. It was a really unexpected thing to have had happen. VIctoria cried so hard and the other kid just looked so confused. We just asked the other child if she would like to be bitten and she said, "no" so her mom told her that if she doesn't bite people, people won't bite her back. The mom said that ever since, she has had no problems.

And did you get past it with the other child? I worry that she will be a pariah in the neighbourhood - but maybe I am too worried considering it has only happened once.

Charlene - posted on 08/26/2009

My daughter has been bit at a playdate in our home. It was a really unexpected thing to have had happen. VIctoria cried so hard and the other kid just looked so confused. We just asked the other child if she would like to be bitten and she said, "no" so her mom told her that if she doesn't bite people, people won't bite her back. The mom said that ever since, she has had no problems.

Regina - posted on 08/26/2009

ive been told to bite them back but im not that cold personally. maybe u can but not hurt them?

Julia - posted on 08/26/2009

Both of my kids have been biters.I just think that the action of biting feels pretty good, and what they don't realise is that it might feel nice to bite but it doesn't feel that nice to be bitten. My daughter used to bite a lot and I always resisted biting her back as I thought it was cruel ( even though my mum had advised me to do just that ), well she bit me in the supermarket one day and drew blood, so I bit her on the hand ( just enough for her to feel it and not to leave any marks at all). She was mortified and never even tried to bite again. My son was not so easy, he wasn't really bothered when I bit him back lightly on the hand, so I had to combine that with crying wildly when he bit me. The key answer to this is, a lot of kids do this, it's just another descovery process and nothing to really worry about unless he's still doing it in a couple of years x

Maria - posted on 08/26/2009

My 5 year old has behavoural problems/mild autistic/mild aspurges problem (Under investigation) and he gets into 1 of those biting moods every now of again somtimes for the sake of it sometimes for when he is angry. I also have a greyhound who has to wear a muzzle because she bites and attacks smaller animals so when he bites I say to him why does Lady have a muzzle, he says because she bites, so I say would you like to wear one (I wouldn't put it on him really but he don't know that) and he says no. This cures him for a little while. I don't think there is a perminante solution with him because of his problems but it might help a child who does not have his type of problems. If you don't have a dog you should be able to find a pic of one on the internet with a muzzle if you find one put it in your favourits and show the child when it bites and explain why it wears one it might work and say that is what they will have to wear if they keep bitting it might make them think and not bite.

Amy - posted on 08/25/2009

Its a phase just about all children go through. Out of my two children my daughter went through that phase. She would only bite me & her older brother, and of course when we would yell she thought it was a game, even when I put her in timeout. I asked her pediatrician at her 18 month visit, and she adviced me to say NO sternly and to walk away immediately and ignore her. That doctors visit was just a couple of weeks ago, and now she has just about stopped.

Annie - posted on 08/25/2009

a biting child is very confusing.... or should i say the child is confused.... or should i say....

There are SOOO many variables, so many reasons. My daughter and her "posse" of 5 at kindy all had times when they would be biting. Now these kids knew each other, spent regular time together and napped together. No rhyme nor reason for the attacks. Now this is going back a year or so, BUT having said that Miss just turned 5 bit me just last week (having not bitten anyone for at least a year). why im not really sure, possibly out of frustration. but seriously, she knows her words and she has no trouble expressing herself (that's for sure) so it really is an unknown quantity.

I did a fair bit of reading (well whatever i could find, which isn't much but there is a bit around and you have to find it) and nothing told me much. Tried the bite back but, yeah, if i can do it to her then why can't she... it is really hard but usually it is something that they will get over. You need to chastise but not make a huge deal out of otherwise it becomes an attention thing too.

Good luck but you should both get through it, i know we did it (well we are doing it, am sure the last one was a major mistake).

Ariel - posted on 08/25/2009

All or almost all kids go through a biting phase. They will outgrow it most of the time. If you ignore it they will think it is ok to bite. I tried biting my child back when they bit, but that didn't work so I had the child they bit bite them back.....that seemed to do the trick with all of mine. I have 5 children that have went through the biting phase and a newborn.

Catherine - posted on 08/25/2009

Sometimes young children feel things so intensely that they must express it, but don't have the words. Often it comes out as a scream, but sometimes they bite. I've seen it often. It usually passes. Try not to freak out, but make it clear that it's not acceptable and you'll remove her from any situation in which she bites.

Marjorie - posted on 08/25/2009

I have calmed down considerably. And thinking about it now - and with having read a bit about why kids bite at her age think I stacked the cards against her from the start. Went to a get-together during her normal naptime with a huge group of kids she doesn't know, ate different food (or in her case didn't eat it), and then wondered why she got overstimulated and tired. Think that in future I will trust my instincts more and turn down invites that have so many things going against them. Still wonder if the other Mummies will be thinking 'there goes that biting girl and her Mum' whenever they see us in the road! Oh well!

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 08/25/2009

I worry about the whole biting back thing because it won't work for all children. Some will think that because you did it to them it's ok to do (your kids look up to you)...the same goes with hitting, but that's another topic. I would keep a close eye on her when she's with other kids. If you see her get ready to bite, yell her name (to get her attention not necessarily in a mean way) and then remove her from the situation (use redirection...can you tell I'm a teacher? :)). Biting is a phase that kids will outgrow.

Alyssa - posted on 08/25/2009

My daughter was a biter, and ignoring her didnt work.... she bit me so hard one day i was in tears so i bit her on the finger (not hard and left no marks) but she seemed to think twice about it after that....

I had tried telling her and ignoring her but biting back was a last resort.....