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18 years old daughter thinks she's so independent and doesn't have to do anything or doesn't have to listen my rule..bec she's 18..I am getting so tired..her dad doesn't live with us..

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Dove - posted on 08/18/2012

5,035

0

I agree with Denikka.

Does she have a full time job or is she a full time student? Tally up everything you've paid for her (including a portion of the rent/mortgage, utilities, food, anytime you spent doing cooking/cleaning for her.. at a regular housekeepers rate, EVERYTHING) and let her know that if she wants to be treated like an adult... that will be her monthly bill to be living there. She can take the 'easy life' of being the daughter all the respect that you and your house rules deserve, start paying up immediately, or have a month to find her own place. Then STICK with it.

Denikka - posted on 08/18/2012

1,848

5

If she thinks she is and wants to be so independent, then let her.
An independent person pays rent, washes their own clothes and dishes, vacuums their own room, pays for their wants and needs, drives themselves around and pays for insurance and gas, cooks their own food (after buying their own food)...you get the picture.
If she wants you to do things for her, to pay her way and take care of her, then she needs to act like your daughter and help around the house and abide by (reasonable) rules.
If she wants to be independent, then she is a tenant and you should treat her as such. Lay out cost, and general rules (not what you expect from your daughter, but what you would actually expect from a tenant-no drugs in the house, common areas are to be kept clean of her personal items, bathroom can have a cleaning rotation, and a reasonable curfew-like midnight-so as not to disturb the other members of the household)
If she can't abide by your rules or pay rent, she can go back to daughter status and follow those rules, or she can move out.
It's a case of tough love, but sometimes it's gotta happen. Good luck :)

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