Lisa - posted on 12/20/2012 ( 279 moms have responded )
My 19 yr old daughter wants to visit her 19 yr old boyfriend out of state. They met when he came to visit, her school in the spring semester. They had brief, on and off contact until about 2 months ago, when they spent a lot of time on the phone and Skype. So when she asked me if she could visit him, I flat out told her no, and gave her a list of reasons that she can't go. The reasons included self-respect, length of time that she knows him, distance, appropriateness, and safety issues. She came back with, I'll be careful and I'm going. I pondered for a few hours then decided that if she was making an adult decision then when she walked out of the door, she was to leave my door keys in my hand. I called her dad and he added to my list and no answer as well. Since then (2 weeks ago) she has been working extra hours babysitting, and I barely have seen her. I thought she was angry and wanted to stay away from me. So she came in after work yesterday and started washing clothes and packing her suitcase.
I responded with fine if you are going I need to speak to his mother and dont forget to leave my keys. Now take into consideration that I have not met this kid but over the phone in 1 conversation, not met his mother, didn't check him out yet, because I thought it was over and they were going back to Skype. Instead of talking to his mom, I spoke to him and he says m'am to my knowledge I didn't know she was coming after you said you wanted your keys back, I don't know why she is packing...I'll talk to her, as though he has assumed the roll of dad.
My question is, was I wrong to tell her to give me the keys back if she went to visit him? I just feel that there can't be 2 adult females in the same household especially only one is responsible for everyone in the house.