2 1/2 year old still sleeping in my bed!

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I know most of you are going, "WHAT!?" lol but its true. My son is STILL sleeping in my bed inbetween my husband and I. My husband is in the army and when our son was first born, his dad was deployed. He didnt come home to see the baby until our son was 6mos old. I had him sleeping in his own bed, in his own room, on a schedule everything.. Believe me, the joy of dad coming home was a great time for everyone, but not to the extent where now our toddler sleeps inbetween us still. Dad got in the habit of whenever the baby cried, he'd go pick him up and cuddle with him in our bed until he fell asleep. 2 years later, I am still trying to get our son to sleep in his own bed/bedroom but am having no luck! I've tried tough love, we've tried laying with him until he falls asleep, almost everything! I'm pregnant with our third child and it is very difficult for me to sleep in our bed with a wild sleeper. I shouldnt have to sleep on the couch in the livingroom !



We also have a 11 month old daughter who is in her own bed and bedroom and now my husband wishes he would have listened to me when I told him it was the worst thing he cuold have started! I didnt want to take anything away from him being deployed and missing out on so much, but now we're paying the price! Please help me/us! Any tips, advice, etc., would help! Thank you!

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Sarah - posted on 02/05/2010

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I will definately try something for him to cuddle with, or soothe him to sleep. Its easy to just give in and let him sleep with us, and to me its like he knows how to "play the system" as far as his dad and I go. Sounds so funny to say because he's only two, but its a fact.



Thank you for your adivce. I will let you know if it worked!

Viki - posted on 02/05/2010

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it will get quite frustrating what with waiting for him to fall asleep before you move him because like mine did he will probably not fall asleep for a good hour or so and by that time your all settled and not wanting to move, it does take some getting used to but its worth it because hopefully like me it will only last a week for you aswell and then after that its alot easier. i hope for your sake that it all goes well with no set backs. when you feel that its time to move on to getting him to sleep in his bed honestly try taking him to shop for a special toy for him to sleep with, that way it will make bedtime alot easier and he will looking forward to cuddling with his special bedtime toy. like the other lady said, its all about comfort and security. something to cuddle should do the trick. best of luck to you, let me know if it helps =)

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2010

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Thanks, and I do try and pick the battles =) With him being a 2year old, I have to pick my battles wisely with him, or temper tantrums will errupt. But, on the same note, if I wasn't pregnant, I wouldnt mind him so much in the bed with me. Its become a security I think for both my son and I for him to be in the bed. I know it wont last forever, and neither will this pregnancy, but I think that some things you have to put your foot down for. I've even tried putting his toddler bed at the foot of our bed, so its still in our room, just not in my bed.

Viki - posted on 02/05/2010

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i had the same problem with my eldest, she was sleeping in my bed untill she was 3!! i just thought it had gone on for too long and that me and my partner needed our privacy and space so i decided to take action. what i did was i would let her drift to sleep in my bed and once she was asleep i would move her into her own bed, i did this for one week and she then got used to waking in her own bed, after that week i then put her to sleep in her own bed, i used to sit or lie with her until she fell asleep and then leave the room, i did this for about 2 - 3 weeks i think and then she got used to falling asleep in her own bed after this and it was problem solved, i did find however that taking her to choose a cuddly toy that she could sleep with helped as this made her feel alot more comforted when she was in bed after i stopped staying with her. this wasall suggested to me by my health visitor and when i heard it i just thought that wont work but, i did it and she is now nearly 5 and hasnt been back in my bed since. i hope this helps =)

[deleted account]

OK, my viewpoint is very different but here it goes: We ALL need our sleep. I set my alarm for 5 am, my husband for 6 am. My son will be 5 next week and STILL wanders inot our bed several times a night. At some point, we chose to pick our battles and sleep is not a battle we fight with. Cranky parents=cranky kid. My son wanders in and half the time we really don't evenhear him. Other times he shouts out for us and my hubby will groggily go back to my son's bed with him. Most nights, we play musical beds. My point is this: we all want our children to have a sense of security & independece. But you also have to determine what battles you pick. I guarantee my son won't be 15 yeas old and still sneaking into mommy & daddy's bed! But for now, he needs comfort, security, and most important of all-sleep. So, when my son wanders in, I can still rest assured we will all wake up feeling refreshed as opposed to cranky and miserable trying to force him back to his own bed. Best of luck to you!

Susan - posted on 02/05/2010

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Hi my son is 2 years and one month also sleeping in my bed hi hi...I breastfed him and now I'm also going to start to put him in his own bed...I just want to say your not alone. I am speaking to him every day saying you are going to start sleeping in your own bed one of these days with your brother in his room. I can only hope that it will go well. I got him a nice soft toy (dog) 101 delmation that I'm now starting to sleep with him in our bed as soon as that is going well I'll shift him to his brothers room to his own bed, thinking of you. That worked with my first son.

Tori - posted on 02/05/2010

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i had this problem with my eldest, i had to sleep in her bed or her in with us, her younger sister was fine with sleeping on her own so it was quite frustrating, i tried every method going and nothing worked, i went to my doctors about her being up all hours not sleeping unless i was there, and they said it was natural and she would 'grow out of it'. It was not until i changed doctors that she finally got refered to a sleep theropist, they just asked me questions about it, gave me a list to follow, i was sure it would not work as had tried it all before, but with there support and having the list there to go by it works, she is now the best sleeper out of all of us and loves her bed lol.

i suggest you do the same and ask your health visitor or doctor. hope it helps. x

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2010

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Our pediatrician just suggested "tough love" and put him in his room and shut the door and he'll eventually go to sleep. I had a dumb-founded look on my face because, well, he's almost 3 years old and nearly 3 `1/2 ft. tall. The child can open the door, and come back out.

I'll try going to the library to look for some books, but it just seems hopeless. We tried suggesting a new room decor, he loves spiderman, and we suggested getting new wall stickers, lamps, comforter sets, etc., to match his spiderman collection, and still have no luck. I dont want to go broke bribing my son, but at the same time, I dont want to sleep on the couch until he's 12! lol

Meg - posted on 02/05/2010

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That's a tough one! Maybe white noise or a special toy he only gets at bed time would help? Have you asked the pediatrician for advice? I would try to find a book by an expert, too. (like Love and Logic) Good luck!

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