21 month old still wakes up in the middle of the night

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

So my son usually goes to bed between 7:45 and 8:30, sometimes 9. Every night no matter what he wakes up between 1-3am. He sleeps in a room with us and we've just taken the side of his crib down and made his bed a toddler bed...now he wakes up and comes over and crawls in our bed....or stands there and cries till we pick him up. We have made quite a habit of allowing him to sleep with us because its just alot easier to put him back to sleep rather than "teach" him to sleep on his own and let him cry. At day care he sleeps on his own during nap time.



I just don't know why he always wakes up in the middle of the night. Does anyone know how we can help him to sleep longer ... or whats going on? Thanks

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[deleted account]

I wonder why they're getting up!! I read that it might be nightmares or just that they're still learning so much and they want to practice in their sleep and that wakes them up, or even sleep walking. We're trying to put landyn to bed later, because going to bed at 8 and waking up at 3 means hes getting 7 hours of sleep and maybe thats all he needs....so hes been going to bed around 9 for the past two nights, and he only woke up once around 1:30...last night. I went to his crib and gave him his ninny back, and then rubbed his head and said it was night night time and to go to sleep and put his music thing on, and it took him about 10 minutes but he finally stopped and fell asleep on his own. it was hard, but it worked. he woke up at 6:30 this morning!! so maybe we could even try to put him to sleep later, but the past two nights hes actually been more than ready to go to bed at 9. he sits right next to me on the couch with his blanket and cuddles up and falls asleep on his own. I try to keep him up by playing with him, but hes pooped. Especially after a long day at day care. I hope this resolves itself

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Zina - posted on 07/09/2009

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My advice is when he wakes up to get in your bed, simply "help" him get back to sleep while laying in his bed. My son goes through the same thing and I will lay him back down in his bed pat his back a little until he starts to drift back off. I do it no matter how many times we wakes(he sleeps in the same room with us), now he barely does it and will sleep through the night. We co-sleep(it was easier for me while breastfeeding) but there are times when we want the bed to ourselves! When my son turns 2 we will start the transition to his own room but for now I don't mind(my husband works nights).

Good luck!

Minnie - posted on 07/09/2009

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He wakes because he's human. I wake in the middle of the night- to pee, because I'm starving at 3am, because I'm hot, itchy, something's on my mind, my legs are achey, you name it. Why should our little ones be any different?

It's not a bad habit to bed share with your children. It's been th default sleeping arrangement for milennia

Stephanie - posted on 07/09/2009

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I wish I had an answer for you. My daughter will be 3 in October and we still have this problem. I need help too. Right after she turned 2 around thanksgiving I broke her habit of sucking her thumb. Then she started to climb out of her crib and come to our room. I guess because she did not know how to get herself back to sleep with out her thumb. We did not let her sleep with us. I thought for christmas we would give her a twin bed with tinkerbell bedding since she was able to climb out of her crib. She still would get out of her bed and come to our room. Most of the time I would bring her back to her room, but some times I was too tired and let her sleep in our bed. I was watching a Nanny show and they had covered this topic. She said immediately walk the child to the room without talking to her. So we did that always. She still gets up at least once a night and comes to our room. I get up and walk her straight back. She will fall asleep right away. But why is she getting up? I told her two days ago that if she stays in her bed all night long I would get a fish for her to keep in her room so she would have someone in there with her. Last night she stayed in her bed all night long. Hopefully tonight will be the same for her to get a fish. I don't know what to do.

Kara - posted on 07/07/2009

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In my opinion, he has gotten into a habit. Just like anything, if you do something repetitively, it will just happen automatically. I think that is why he is waking up at night. If you keep letting him get into your bed, it will be harder to stop. Maybe get him his own little twin bed or mattress and put it right beside your bed. That way he will still be sleeping alone, but very close to you. I know it is very hard when they don't have their own room. I had to go through that when my middle child was born, and he was very hard to get to sleep through the night. Good luck!

Becky - posted on 07/07/2009

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He's still so, so little, it's not anything to worry about. Isis is 23 months and has only dropped her middle of the night wake-up a couple weeks ago. If you're comfortable letting him sleep with you at night, then go for it! He'll reach that milestone on his own time. In "teaching" him to cry and sleep on his own when he's not ready to could actually teach him that you're not there for him.

Jessica - posted on 07/07/2009

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Maybe hang a sheet up or some kind of visual blocker or try having some "white noise" like a soft radio or fan blowing.

[deleted account]

He does take a nap during the day...about 2 hours. he usually wakes up for the day between 6:30-8am. Could it be hes over tired, or maybe even going to bed too early? Its weird he just wakes up out of his sleep and sits there, then either crys or gets up and comes to the bed.

[deleted account]

My husband and I made the decision early on that we were not going to allow our child in our bed at night. So..when he woke up in the middle of the night one of us went into his room and laid on the floor next to the toddler bed until he went back to sleep. I know, it sounds miserable but... My son is 2 and he almost always sleeps through the night. He is getting into that stage where he wakes up and yells for me and then tells me he is scared. I can usually go in, talk to him, and be back in my own bed with my husband within 10 minutes, unless I fall asleep rubbing my son's back. Does he nap a long time during the day? I think some kids just sleep heavier than others, just like adults. I wake at the drop of a pin, my husband could sleep through anything.

[deleted account]

Yeah, I guess its just that he doesn't have his own room that makes it the most difficult. because we sleep in the same room so he sees us when hes up. and the fact that we took the side of his crib down. Maybe we should put it back up.

[deleted account]

My daughter did that until we decided that Baby Boot Camp was the thing to try...When she would wake up, she'd get offered a bottle (she was much younger than your son)...if she refused it, I would leave and ignore her...it was difficult but necessary. Thankfully it didn't take long. She still wakes up sometimes but usually puts herself back to sleep. A few sleepless nights with her crying were worth the pay off of her sleeping better.

[deleted account]

Thanks...The problem is that we live with my parents in the basement and there isn't another room he can be in. I would love him to have his own room, and we're trying to get our own place, but it isnt going to happen anytime soon. Living with other people makes it hard too because I don't want them to wake up because they hear him screaming. you know?

Amanda - posted on 07/07/2009

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You're right there--why wouldn't he want to be with you! You need to move him to his own room and "teach" him how to be on his own without you. It will take a week tops but probably just a few days of being STRICT with putting him back to bed when he gets up! You can do it! When he gets up and wants you DO NOT talk to him just nicely put him back in bed. Night time is not for talking it's for sleeping. My friend and I both did this and have great sleepers. It works if you can do it. I know you'll be tired but in the end it will be worth it!

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