21months old want to stop bf any advice

Zilda-Rae - posted on 08/24/2009 ( 67 moms have responded )

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she wont take a bottle to bed.and i cant get her to stop breastfeeding..need help fast....

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Dawn - posted on 08/26/2009

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If you absolutely cant handle the breast feeding then why not try and pump and add little bits into a bottle, slowly start adding water or milk to it she wont realize that the taste is changing it will only last a couple of days... Try it with water first this way if she needs a drink at night when she wakes up, she can just find the bottle and you wont even have to go into her room. You can even do this with a sippy cup by the sippy cups with the soft nipple type tops there are like a bottle nipple and she wont even realize the difference it may take a little extra effort from you to enforce this but you can do it many moms have.... hang in there

Lidia - posted on 08/26/2009

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I just have a couple of things to add the to the advie you have already received. First, is there a reason you need to wean your child? Will you be returning to work, or going away for a time? If not, you may want to reevaluate why you want to wean in the first place. Evidence has shown that when children are allowed to wean on their own schedule, they become more confident and self-assured individuals, and the parent-child bond is not damaged. If you do need to wean, please don't do it quickly. Gentle weaning is the best thing for your child, and regardless of what others may say, children remember traumas they receive as babies- they may not articulate it, but it will stick with them in some form or another. At the very least, your bond with your child will be affected. Finally, I do not believe that a child is too old to nurse if they can ask for it. My babies asked for nursing from the minute they were born- the way they asked just evolved over time. In the natural world, animals have their own ways of asking to nurse. Don't feel pressure to wean just because your child can ask for it using words.



Good luck! Trust your instincts as a mother- continue to do the good job you are doing. Your child is very lucky to have been breastfed and given the BEST start in life.

Lynda - posted on 08/26/2009

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My son was 22 mos old when I stopped. He was drinking just fine out of a cup. They are old enough by then to be on milk & juice - not formula. They are also old enough to understand "all gone". I took a week to wean him by eliminating a feeding every other day by just saying "nurse all gone" (he called it nurse...many would say the fact that he could say the word was evidence that it was TIME). His comment was, "nurse all gone? Nite, nite!" It was not difficult at all. He understood "all gone" instead of "no". It was hard for ME to give up the special snuggle time so I made sure we still snuggled & read several times a day. Good luck!

Susan - posted on 08/26/2009

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I nusresed both of mine until 16 months and they bothed stopped on their own. My son got a sinus infection and couldn't nurse and my daughter tried out her teeth on me once. I overreacted which scared her and she stopped all together. My goal with both had been 2 years so I was sad. I never wnet to the bottle though. They could both use a sippy cup. Dentists and Crs. say not to put them to bed with a bottle anyway because it promotes bad teeth health. Make a BIG deal out of being old enough to use a cup. Mix any expressed breast milk with regular whole mlk to dilute it down until you runout. They really don't need formula at this stage as long as they eat a well balanced diet on a weekly basis. Continue to snuggle and read books together instead. Your child and you wil both enjoy the closeness as a substitute.

I read once about a desperate Mom who put bandaids over her nipples and told her toddler she had a boo boo and it worked for her! Be patient and good luck.

Zilda-Rae - posted on 08/25/2009

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yes my little girl is already potty trained im think of maybe going back to work but really want to get her off of brestfeeding cause she will wake up about 3 times out of the nite. her dad works fulltime on the oilfield. and letting her cry it out only keeps him awake at nite also. and like Allison said i really got to stick to my guns on this one..so i guess i will have to set a official date to stop and no turning back...will be and hard and long process but will be good for her and me.

Michelle - posted on 08/25/2009

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Try changing the routine a bit--getting ready for bed is all about routine, Kids learn what to expect by the routine we set for them and it's really important especially when you are trying to wean them. I just recently weaned my son at 16 months and it was trying because he would want to nurse during the night if I let him. Basically, get him changed into his pjs (if you give him a bath that's great too), brush his teeth, read him a book and don't offer him your breast. If someone else can do these things, like Dad, then that helps too. My little guy only gets water in his sippy cup if he really wants a drink at night. He has a cup of milk about an hour before bed and that seems to suffice. I had to stop BF because I'm pregnant again and didn't want to keep nursing and then have to wean him when the new baby is born--I didn't want him to become jealous as it was of the new baby, plus it was time (he'd bite me on occasion and used me as a soother). Whatever you have to do--music, rocking him to sleep, it all has to go in steps but you can do it just try to be strong. Hang in there!

Sharron - posted on 08/25/2009

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i was bf my son til 27 months, then i split up with my husband and changed the routine. Thought it would be hell, but my son took to it easily. Never liked formula milk, so this was not an alternative, i just changed the whole night time routine and stopping bf was part of that and he was fine with it. Never looked back and it only took a couple of days. Good luck

Marjorie - posted on 08/25/2009

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Just to add to what everyone else is saying - you may also try Tommee Tippy bottles (if you are in the UK) which have a similar shape to a breast if you are desperate. However, weaning her from the breast for other feeds and replacing the breast milk with something else. I am in the process of weaning her from the bottles now so maybe that isn't the best way forward as it is still the sensation of a nipple to sooth at night. This is an interesting site: http://www.whattoexpect.com/weaning-from...

Marnie - posted on 08/25/2009

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I never had to let my boys cry. I would tell them that I would count to 30 (or whatever number you choose, maybe 60) and then milk would be all done. I'd cut it back every few days or so. Eventually they just never asked again. Hope you are as lucky.

Kristynn - posted on 08/25/2009

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I can tell you that i struggled with this to the extreme with my son. I had tried to wean him from BF after about a year and get him to start eating more solids. He wasn't having it. I had so many people judging me for allowing him to keep on like he wanted. He was not exclusive but I think he definitely wanted it that way. He was great at eating foods until he got in his first teeth and then from the pain he was in he only wanted to nurse. He was comforted and also it was easy for him to not have to chew. His Dr was fine with this b/c he was under a year. His Dr really never told me to stop nursing him he was very supportive. I finally gave into all the pressure of the people around me and stopped him cold turkey. It was awful! For both of us! I was sore and miserable watching him to upset and unhappy. My once very bouncy never unhappy baby fell into a depression after the second day. He refused any food at all and would just lay around. I even took him to a bday party with his play date friends and he just laid on the floor in a daze and wouldn't even play. It was heart breaking. After so many moms seeing such a young guy so depressed they were very supportive and I went ahead and let him start up again. I just couldn't take doing that to my son. I tried to wean him slowly but he still refused food. (He suffers from some gastro problems and we have struggled with his eating ever since he stopped nursing) It wasn't until he finally got too much of an appetite for me to keep up with and it was just plain painful for me to nurse him that I tried to figure something else out. I tried lots of people's advice and was not going to put him through the trauma of crying it out again. So the one thing that finally worked for me was I took him to the pet store and I purchased a small pet for him. Every single time he wanted to nurse (and I knew by his ques) I would pick him up and rush him into the other room with his new pet. As we were watching the pet or after playing with the pet I would feed my son small bites of something while he wasn't thinking about it. And it actually worked! That hamster saved me! He stopped focusing fully on me and put more and more of his attention on the Hamster.



My advice to you:

Try to sneak in food when she is not thinking about it.

Try to find something to preoccupy her that she has never seen before and that she ONLY sees when she wants to nurse that she enjoys.

And you want to still nurse her then do what you want. This is your child to raise not someone who wants to judge you. You are her mother and you know best what she needs.



GOOD LUCK!

Danielle - posted on 08/24/2009

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the first few nights will be tough, but she'll switch her schedule quick and figure it out.. Just know that if she cries, your not a bad mom!

Zilda-Rae - posted on 08/24/2009

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yes i have problems putting her to bed she always wants to be nursed when is she going to sleep. and she wakes up about 3 times in the nite. guess i really have to tough it out for a coulpe of days. thanks for the advice

Alison - posted on 08/24/2009

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This is very late in the game to cut out night feedings. Is that what you are talking about? You need to make up your mind and stick to your guns. She will get upset. She will get over it. She will actually forget the whole thing ever happened. Can you send her to stay with grandparents for a few days? Can you go away on a business trip? There is probably no easy way to get the job done, but if you are strong it will only take a few days.

Danielle - posted on 08/24/2009

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My daughter had a hard time also, but I started making her bottles half formula and half milk.. Stop the breastfeeding all together. Its gonna be hard, but let her cry. Mine did great switching to reg milk,.. then once she was used to it, i started putting it in a sippy cup.

Stina - posted on 08/24/2009

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It's good she won't take a bottle to bed. Your dentist will be pleased.



How many times a day is she nurseing? Eliminate one at a time- offer her liquids at mealtime and snack time in a cup or sippy. After a few days or a week, drop another session. Replace the snuggle time with a story or some other activity she enjoys. At bedtime especially, some cuddles and stories may help her when you stop nurseing her before bed. If she is waking to nurse in the middle of the night, help her learn to get back to sleep other ways- maybe have someone else go in to soothe her.

Kelly - posted on 08/24/2009

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At 21 months, she doesn't need a bottle anyway. She should be learning to drink from a "sippy cup" or a straw. I never put any of mine to bed with a bottle, at any age. The doctors used to advise you not to (don't know about now), so I never did. My youngest is 3 1/2 and she never drank from a bottle. I nursed her until she was 15 months old, and by then she could drink from a cup. I weaned her in just a few days; she didn't even really seem to care too much. I think I missed it more than she did. I'm sure all kids are different, but I think if you just do it, she will adjust within a couple of days. She should be eating most foods by now, and really doesn't need a LOT of fluids. She probably just enjoys the snuggling (of course, I'm sure you do too), and you can still give her that. Good luck!

Dianne - posted on 08/24/2009

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Hi, this may sound a little harsh but if you just let her cry, she'll firgure it out.

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