2nd Baby shower

Kristy - posted on 08/09/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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Has any other moms with more than one child have a baby shower for both? I wanted one for my 2nd son and I get critized so much I called it off! I know its not tradition but I thought you should be able to celebrate the coming birth of all your children Hes now 3 months old but I was just wondering other moms opinions

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Ashley - posted on 08/16/2009

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my sons are 15 months apart and i only had one. after my 2nd was born we had a little bbq but noone brought gifts. my close family bought him little outfits but that was it. i still had everything from my first and didnt need a thing. to me having a 2nd one with my sons only being 15 months apart would look greedy.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/16/2009

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I agree with most of the women on here that are for showers no matter what number that child may be. If you feel obligated to bring a present you can always choose not to go...don't look at it as a negative thing. Children are a blessing and should be celebrated no matter what people think is "propper" or "classy." If we continued to live according etiquette from 100 years ago we would have VERY different lives and not for the better. Throwing a party/shower for a child's birth shouldn't cause so much stress...do it...have fun...and move on to enjoy their life and developmental changes.

Suzy - posted on 08/13/2009

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The reason showers were historically held is so that friends & family could help provide you with some of the things you will need and is a way for seasoned moms to give a new mom the benefit of their experiences. To ask friends to contribute to every child you have is unfair & inconsiderate. If you want to celebrate the child, that is a different story. You can throw a party for any reason & make it as big (reception hall) or small (dinner party) as you like. People may bring gifts for the baby, or they may not. Right or wrong showers have the connotation of gifts. Parties do not.

Elise - posted on 08/13/2009

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I say have a party!! I am pregnant with my second child that is due in a few weeks. My first child was a surprise and we did not find out what we were having. We lived far from home at the time and my husband's office threw us a small shower. It was a little strange for me because I did not know anyone there. We got several little gifts, but not a ton because people did not know what to get boy/girl stuff. I was very thankful anyway... Now with this baby we are not finding out either. We have now moved 2000 miles and live close to all our family and friends. There has been no mention of a party for this baby and I am just weeks away from having it. I do feel sad, and like I missed out the first time arround. I am just going to throw a get to know the baby party for myself and baby when I feel up to it. We will see how it is received.

Jessica - posted on 08/13/2009

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I've never heard of only having one baby shower in your life! My sister had a baby shower for her second child! You should have one for each baby especially because, like you said, each child should be celebrated... but also, your needs change as children get older and even in the shortest period of time you may have gotten rid of things that you will need for new baby (especially if you weren't expecting to get pregnant again) and also if there's a gender difference, hello!! Don't feel bad about having a baby shower for you new babies, and if someone is going to throw you a shower and request no gifts, maybe there is an underlying emotional problem in their life?

[deleted account]

I hope you still have time to have one, because you absolutley should! I let everyone talk me out of having one b/c mine were 14 months apart, and that is my biggest regret. I didn't want the gifts, I just wanted the celebration. not to mention how I am going to explain why my 5 year old had a party and its in his baby book and my four year old had no party and just a blank page. I say do it and make sure to specify no gifts required.

Tania - posted on 08/13/2009

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Even if you have children closer together, I think you can still have a 2nd or 3rd baby shower. You will always need to have diapers. Sometimes, you might need a double stroller for the children, because your older one is still in one. You will always need stuff.

Erika - posted on 08/12/2009

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I decided not to have a shower for my 2nd son since I had everything still from my first. Now my boys were born during 2 diffrent seasons so he wasn't able to wear the same clothes so we had a party when he was 3 months old to celebrate his birth and welcome him to the family. If people wanted to bring gifts we asked for clothes and diapers.

--- - posted on 08/11/2009

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dont listen to negative nellies who will tell you it isnt proper. every baby is an excuse to celebrate. usually friends and family bring a new baby gift anyway regardless of if you have a shower. usually for a second baby shower you may get small item like books or clothing, I would not expect any giant gifts. you could have a meet the baby party, if people want to bring something suggest food!

Eryn - posted on 08/11/2009

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I'm now pregnant with my 3 child (a boy), my work and my husband's work both threw a baby shower for us. We did not ask for it nor expected it. We have 2 daughters now and we had a baby shower for the first but not the second. I thought that you would only have one until one of my friends said that its etiquette to have a baby shower for the first of each sex. I guess it comes down to what you want. I have seen on ‘A baby story’ that some parents have showers for the subsequent kids but instead of gifts they brought food that can be stored in the freezer and then just thrown in the oven when its dinner time.

Shirley - posted on 08/11/2009

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in our area we have a shower for every baby. my siser has 2 babies and had 3 showers. i had 2 babies and 2 showers. it's a way to celebrate the pending arrival of a new baby. no gifts are expected at any of the showers but they are a nice suprise!

Bridget - posted on 08/10/2009

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I had a "Welcome Baby" party for my second child. I had it before she was born, it was basically friends & some family gathering to eat cake & talk about the baby. The person throwing me the party requested no gifts, some people brought gifts & some people didn't. Believe it or not that still upset some of the older women in my family that said "One baby shower only". I am 5 mos. along with my third & I will be having a shower or "Welcome Baby" party for him too. I just will not invite the people who put me down about it. I believe every baby should be celebrated & I do not want a bunch of people in my house overwhelming the baby as soon as I come home with him. You should do what you feel is right for you & ignore the people who like to judge others.

[deleted account]

Actually, the rules and "etiquette" of baby showers have changed over the years. And having a second shower is not as taboo as it once was. However, the older generations may still look down upon it, unless certain criteria is involved.



I have two girls, and have had two showers. Although, my girls are separated by 7 years and we literally had almost nothing left from our first daughter. But I do think the idea of having a "Welcome To The World" party or celebration for your son sounds like a wonderful idea. In my opinion every child should be celebrated one way or another.

Charlie - posted on 08/10/2009

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I think having a celebration is fantastic , perhaps word it as a celebration on the invite , that way they do not feel pushed to by a gift , but a good friend always will anyway : )

Can i just ask is this an American tradition ?
Because i have never heard of it until i joined COM.

Jenny - posted on 08/10/2009

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In england we dont have baby showers as such, usually after the baby is born people come to visit and bring gifts with them, mostly clothes, blankets, teddies etc. Everything you need before hand you buy yourself or close relatives buy as gifts.

Why can you only have one baby shower? Surely every baby should be celebrated no matter if it is number 1, 2 3 or 4.

If i was you i would have a party and invite everyone to meet the baby officially.

Traci - posted on 08/09/2009

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I think it's tacky. It makes you look like you are begging for baby gifts. If it's really about celebrating the coming birth, have a BBQ or party or something and tell everyone NO PRESENTS. That way it really is just about being with friends and family.

Jacquie - posted on 08/09/2009

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I don't see a problem with it. I don't know how far apart your two are, but you should of had that baby shower. I'm pretty sure you could have used somethings for the new baby and it's to celebrate the birth of a new one coming into the world. So next time, you do what you feel and never mind what others have to say. It's still not to late to have one either.

Candice - posted on 08/09/2009

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every baby deserves a celebration and every mom deserves to be surrounded by friends. i say have a party anyway! who cares if he's 3 mos old!

Cindy - posted on 08/09/2009

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Throw one now. Have a party in honor of "their Arrogance." We'll support you.

Kristy - posted on 08/09/2009

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Thank you everyone for your replies! I didnt really clairify I was going to do what you all were saying like a get together no gifts kinda bbq party in the first place but people made me feel like that was wrong too and as you all know after the baby I was busy so I never really did anything. Thanks again for all you opinions!!

[deleted account]

It's funny because I didn't want one... in fact, I was outspoken about it when friends asked. I felt funny like having another shower was asking for gifts from people again. I celebrated my second's life without a shower, and all was great. BUT, to make you feel better, I believe it's not against etiquette to have one if your friends are willing to throw one.

Trena - posted on 08/09/2009

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i did, i actually had one for all 3..they are all over 3 yrs apart and in the meantime i had given/donated all my stuff. now im thinking of having another and told my friend that i know the family wont give me another because it will be #4 and she said she would throw it for me. i did get a little bit of why are you having another shower for #3 but the family still gave me one. i think you should have a welcome baby party..im sure there things you need or could use.

Nancy - posted on 08/09/2009

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I have always heard that you only get one shower too. I have read a lot about people havining a neccessities shower whwere people bring diapers and wipes and things that you always need..don;t really see the problem myself. If you want a second shower have one..its your baby after all!!

Tiffany - posted on 08/09/2009

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I had one with both. My daughter had a huge one & 4 years later my son had a small diaper shower. Now that he is 3 months old why don't you have a party to welcome him to the world? Your friends will bring gifts regardless & the ones that don't will at least be there to celebrate your son.

Amelia - posted on 08/09/2009

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I had the same problem when I had my second daughter. I had planned on doing one, just like a meet the baby party because I did have clothes and things since my kids are only 17 months apart. But my husbands family criticized me, even going as far to say you only get one shower. Even though they weren't the ones to throw my first. I was so disappointed. People think that just because you want to have a shower that you expect gifts or whatever. Why cant people just get together and celebrate the birth of a new baby without complaining!!! Well to end my story basically I felt by not having a meet the baby party, the second child was some how less important...and it pretty well sucked. I think you should have some kind of party/shower even now! Make a no gift/gift optional rule! Have fun, you have the right to celebrate your baby! Now my second daughter is almost a year and this is the first time we get to celebrate her being here! :)

Tammi - posted on 08/09/2009

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well i have a 7 month old and one due in Feb so they'll be 14 months apart and i'm having a baby shower for me sec one just like i did for the first one. To me it's to celebrate the baby and every child deserves to be celebrated.

Sharon - posted on 08/09/2009

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Having a second baby shower is tacky and utterly without class. There are exceptions to the rules.



HOWEVER ALWAYS have a welcome to our new baby party. I think its sad you were prevented from celebrating the birth of your second child.

Kate CP - posted on 08/09/2009

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Personally, I don't see a problem with it at all. I didn't have a shower for my daughter and this time around you can bet your sweet butt I'm having one!

A lot of women have a second baby shower. I think the third and fourth and fifth showers are over doing it, though. Just having a party to celebrate the baby with some cake and stuff is totally fine. Have fun! :)

Cindy - posted on 08/09/2009

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I will state what I said for a mom in the same boat as you...

If you get married twice do you only have one bridal shower? No.

You can have as many baby showers as you want. Everybody deserves a special day.



FYI where I am from you have the babyshower after the babe is born.



so...PARTY ON !!!



I didn't have one for my #2 just because I didn't want or need anything, however my family darn near throws the kids a party everytime we go for coffee. Every time we visit the kids get brand new toys. Makes birthdays hard cause there is nothing they need.



BUT you don't have my family, SO HAVE A PARTY.

Jenn - posted on 08/09/2009

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depending on how far apart they are. Like I just had a child 18 months ago, it had been over 10 yrs since my last child. So in that situation a babyshower was in order, cause I didnt have anything left from the previous 2. also if you had a boy ur 1st one a girl ur 2nd one or vise versa then I would think that could be acceptable to some extent. You did mention just a celebration of the coming of your new child, thats always a great idea so then just make it a party/get together and ppl wouldnt feel obligated to purchase anything, but instead just to come and spend time with family and friends. but I can understand both ends of it i guess everyone has different views and opinions, and if you felt you wanted or deserved a shower then you should have went ahead with it.

Rabecca - posted on 08/09/2009

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A babyshower is basically used to 1) brag about the upcoming arrival and 2) to make sure you have everything you need for teh baby.



I had 2 babyshowers, but my children were 6 years apart and the second was unexpected. We had already given away all our baby stuff and moved on to big girl stuff. So I needed a baby shower.



If your second child comes within the limits of still haiving the stuff from your first baby, then its not nessasary. If you just want the celebration you could throw a party and ask that no gifts be exchanged.

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