4 year old not talking sentences

Danielle - posted on 01/31/2012 ( 63 moms have responded )

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I have a 4 year old daughter. Since she was about 18 months she could count to ten, say her shapes, colors and say a few selected words. I read to her often but since then there has been many trials (husband and I both lost out fulltime jobs, couldnt get health insurance and when we did and put her in a daycare and tried to get speech therapy, we were put on a waiting list until we had lost our state health insurance and company health insurance was too expensive for what we made) She will repeat words and can tell you what most things are when you ask her but she still wont ask "can I have some juice" or " I am hungry" etc. However if I read her a story enough she will recite a good portion of the sentences if looking at the book herself. She whines and screams most of the time. She is also a VERY PICKY eater and am having serious trouble potty training her. I am almost concerned I am to blame. Do I not talk to her enough? I am at the points at night i cry cause i dont know what to do. She seems so dang smart and others...i just dont know.

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Iridescent - posted on 01/31/2012

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This isn't about you. It sounds like you've done everything right. It is time to get her evaluated though. You can call your local school district and request an Early Intervention evaluation. If you have health insurance now, also get in to be seen by someone for developmental delays (likely a neurologist). You've listed several "flags" for development that should be evaluated.

Ruth - posted on 02/01/2012

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Please have her checked for Autism. Girls get it too. It happens in various degrees and they begin life just fine but somewhere along the way they slip into reverse and have a difficult time with normal things. The sooner you get her checked the sooner she will get the help she needs. Hopefully I'm wrong but they are such beautiful children even though they have a rough time of it.

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2012

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You got great advice from all the other parents. I have worked with special education students in the past as well as am currently working with preschoolers and one more suggestion I would make besides about checking with your school districts would be to model responses. So for example when she whines for juice and just says juice, every time repeat to her the sentence "can I have juice" or "I would like some juice" etc. you may not get a response from her right away but eventually she will start to see the patterns and sentences you are making and repeat them like she does the stories you read her. Then eventually she will create her own. Hope this is helpful.

Megan - posted on 02/01/2012

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I don't know what state you live in but most states have an early intervention program for children up to age 3, then after that you contact your local school district to get her evaluated by the child study team. this is free, and if she is diagnosed she will receive help, usually through a preschool handicap program within the school district, and she will be given an iep (individualized education plan) that will be with her throughout her school years and modified as needed. this is all free, and it is required by law. you should definitely look onto this because the earlier you start the better. my daughter was diagnosed with adhd in kindergarten. we line in nj. I also teach preschool and have referred people to, and worked with early intervention and the child study team many times. they are only there to help.

Tamekia - posted on 02/02/2012

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Developmental issues should be diagnosed by your pediatrician, using input from the parents that is normally given at visits. I am surprised that your pediatrician hasn't expressed any concerns, assuming you share all that you've shared with here wit your doctor over the years. The other posters are correct about early intervention services,that are free by are usually for children up to age three. Your child has missed that window, however, again with your pediatricians help and a medical card, your child can get referrals to speech therapists,occupational therapists, etc. ( my son had a speech delay, and we have a medical card, he received every service he needed free of charge ) at the age of four , however the local school district along with your pediatrician will be your resources at this point. At the age of three students are eligible for screenings by the school to determine any developmental concerns, and to provide services under the umbrella of special education. these services are provided as interventions for students who are found to have delays in certain developmental areas, and are implemented to hopefully bring students up to speed before kindergarten, if additional services are found to be needed, sucj as speech, the school will also issue them free of change, with parental consent , and provision of an individualized education plan, or IEP. I hope this helps. I am a mother of a student who went through this as well as an masters of special education student in my last semester.

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Cheris - posted on 10/08/2013

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My niece is 4 yrs old she does not speak full sentences, does not say or pronounce words correctly, she will give objects, things, foods different names even colors for example when she says yellow she means purple. She very very hyper does not like to share at all jumps around all over does not listen to her parents at all if they tell her not to touch or do anything she will purposely do it. She gets a kick out of abusing her two dogs the little dog attacks her and she thinks it hilarious. She also still not fully potty trained still sucks a pacifier and drinks from a bottle a couple of times thru out the day and her mother puts baby cereal and baby food in her bottle at that. She likes to spit stuff out her mouth doesn't know her alphabet maybe first three to five letters can't identify letters or numbers doesn't really count maybe to the number 5 then mixes them up. No shapes not many colors and is a pure dare devil her mother isn't trying to get her help or inquire I think she is in denial or scared of what the outcome maybe. Can anyone help me do you think something is wrong with her maybe I have a four year old boy and he's doing all of these things and way much more. I need answers I feel so sorry for her. She also doesn't like to eat many foods just a couple like pancakes Mac and cheese or franks and Italian bread, no rice no beans no meat ever just bottles and the couple lids she likes, did I mention extremely hyper sometimes mean to her cousin which us her same age but he seems to understand her

Denise - posted on 12/03/2012

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I am a stay at home Mom and work with my son, who will be 5 very soon, all day everyday with lots of activities and special learning shows (Phonics; which he has learned a surprising amount). I also have a soon to be 3 yr old daughter who is overly talkative which really helps my son and she absolutely understands everything he says and does without hesitation. I have my son signed up for a special Neurodevelopmental Specialist which is 2-2 1/2 year long waiting list for his expressive language difficulties. I noticed my son had many gifted capabilities at an early age like your daughter 18 months he could recite the alphabet, count to 20 skip by tens and count to 100 and was actually 3 1/2 months old when he said Mom several times repidly day after day; even to him to his pediatrician for confirmation becaus ehe was so young. I sometimes find myself repeating questions to him for him to understand...like put your juice in the fridge or pick up your toy for Mommy. At first we thought he had Autism or Aspergers right after he turned 4 years old...Neurologist said he was too social and interested in everything and everyone; he did not score close enough for him to even consider this diagnosis. Then it was suspected that he had ADHD which could cause some of the symptoms he had the delayed potty training; which is still a struggle for both of us. He was checked and not diagnosed with ADHD. Then someone who had a son with similar problems in the nursing field suggested something to me...Auditory Discrimination Deficit! WOW...I couldn't believe the similarities that we had talked about....my son tilting his head when trying to talk, therapy not working, the delayed potty training, the fact that the only problems he had was not listening correctly, having expressive language problems. After a year of self struggling and researching with what I did that was wrong and what I should have done differently...it was not my fault. This Auditory problem can be researched online and it may be worth seeing her pediatrician to get a refferal for the specialist. Some children are often misdiagnosed with ADHD and have Auditory problems. We are, to this day, waiting for his official diganosis as we will see the Neuropsychologist again after the holidays.

Maryjane - posted on 02/14/2012

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Sounds very similar to my son who when he got to kindy absolutely detested it we were advised to enter an early intervention program and since then have had everything from speech, vision, hearing, motor skills, psych analysis occupational therapy and finally were referred to have him assessed for autism. He was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder and this has helped us immensely they have offered us lots a strategies on how to deal with everything from behavior to developing other skills. Up until he started school we didnt even know if he was left or right handed, he didnt start to speak in sentences until about 8 months ago, he didnt crawl until he was over 18mths and didnt walk until well after his 2nd birthday and wasnt potty trained until 2 weeks ago, but he could count to 15 and recognized the entire alphabet and could recite it and loved reading books together and still does and is an amazingly caring child. School has been a god send for us he has developed amazingly since starting school, In his first 3 days he proceeded to use the toilet and began to refuse pull ups, he is holding a pencil and his speech has come up to a more mature level. I had know idea the impact school would have and he really loves it. There are a lot of different learning disorders out there and I agree with the above that they may be a visual learner Im not sure if you have access to Child and youth services but they can guide you in the right direction on who you can talk to even asking your gp for a referral to see a good pediatrician they can also help to guide you in the right direction. Goodluck and dont blame yourself

Eleanor - posted on 02/14/2012

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Sounds like my son. He is high functioning Autism. He is 27 now in the army and doing great. I am so proud of him.

Makiyah - posted on 02/14/2012

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I am going to the same thing. I have had a pediatrician look at my daughter and we decided to schedule an appointment to have her evaluatedeve with a specialist.

Makiyah - posted on 02/14/2012

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I am going to the same thing. I have had a pediatrician look at my daughter and we decided to schedule an appointment to have her evaluatedeve with a specialist.

Kendra - posted on 02/13/2012

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In your case I would get a diagnosis first. My daughter has ADHD and auditory processing issues. The school does offer many services including help with testing and therapy. Government assistance can be challenging but stand very firmly and be assertive. I am not a doctor but it sounds like autism and when frustration kicks in find a way to calm yourselves. Let your child know that she is loved and eventually all the other pieces will fall into place. Easier said than done I know. One day at a time :)

Jennifer - posted on 02/13/2012

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I can't really give you any advice on much of this, but your daughter should be able to get health insurance for free. The President passed a bill at the start of last year that says every person in the country has to have health care and if they don't have the money to pay for it then the state has to accept them for the free insurance through them. I know in the state that I live in every child under the age of 18 has to have health insurance whether it be Oregon Health Plan or health insurance through their parents. They cannot get denied, because it is against the law. Check in to the state health care in the state that you live in. There are several insurances out there that are free for children.

Nichole - posted on 02/13/2012

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I am not exactly sure what your responses have been so far,as there are too many for me to read, but you may tey taking her to the health department to have an exam by the doctor and see what they tell you. Even if she requires further evaluation, they will tell you where to go from there. And they have the information that you need to get some kind of insurance for her so she can be treated. I hope for the best for you. Please post an update to let us know how she is doing in the near future.

Leslie - posted on 02/13/2012

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No you are doing anything wrong! Some kids are just alittle for trying then others. Just be patient. My son is very smart too. But he was also speech delayed, he also had a language of his own and would whine and cry. He was so frustrated about trying to tell us what he wanted, that he would end up crying. We had DDI Vantage come in and work with him. One of the things they taught him that really helped out alot was sign language. There are Baby Einstein videos that will help teach you and her. He is now 4 yrs old, talks great and will still occ. sign. My other son is also a picky eater, we give him healthy snacks in between meals, but if he refuses a meal then he waits for anything other than water until the next meal. Also try and include some of her favorites in those meals. He also needs to just 4 bites of the other foods that he does not like. When I potty trained them we lived in the bathroom for 2-3 days until they got the idea. When they did go, we did this big Hoopla dance, cheered, jumped up and down, etc. We also continue to use rewards for after they used the potty and the panties are dry.

Melissa - posted on 02/13/2012

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also my son had a speech therapist in school, that did wonderfully now he can say alot , he says sentences, and in grade 2, half way done, hes starting to read a bit, he is completely behind the rest of the kids in his class, however hes doing great now with the help of myself and his teachers aids and teachers :)

Melissa - posted on 02/13/2012

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all kids intervention is what we have in cape breton, but early intervention , or pediatricians, etc can help, my son couldnt speak sentences either, until he was 3 he was speaking gibberish..i mean he could say stuff,but just words, not full sentences, and now, at age 7, hes being diagnosed with asbergers sindrome, it could just be a developmental delay, but definately get this checked out, dont blame this on yourself, its definately not your fault at all.

Marie - posted on 02/13/2012

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Where do you live? A country where you have to pay for health care clearly! Totally sucks that you cant get all the help needed. My son who is now 5 had all of the underlying problems your daughter has along with the overskilled parts. He was diagnosed with ASD at 4 ( Autism-spectrum- disorder) of being at the high functioning end or in other words Aspergers. In New Zealdn we have free healthcare for children and i was lucky enough to get all the right assistance - speech theapy (he went from bare sentences and not being able to understand him to talking in sentences a great deal within the year!) along with seeing a group of specialist who were able to detemine what help was needed and give a diagnosis. He has come so far and is now in school, with a few minor hiccups since he doesnt process information in the same way as the other kids so the teachers are learning and very good. I urge you to push anyone and everyone in the health sector that deals with children to do an evaluation and push for as much help as possible. It may be nothing but it may be something. But like others have said, its not your fault, its not to be stressed about and if it is say Aspergers well you will be able to learn a whole new lot of stuff and find out her quirks! I would not change my son, his direct literal-ness can often be extremley funny! And the mear fact youve come and asked for advice shows your interested in your childs wellbeing thus making you an amazing mother! :)

Kirsty - posted on 02/12/2012

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My 3 (nearly 4 year old son) is very similar and we had him diagnosed with high functioning Autism last year. He was able to recite sections from movies or books but not able to ask us for a drink of milk (this is called echolalia), we are still struggling with toilet training and while he is a fairly good eater, this is extremely unusual for an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disoder) child. While this may not be what your daughter has it is important you get professional help asap. For us a diagnosis turned out to be a blessing, my son doesn't think and process things the way my other 2 children do, it has been so good to have a professional confirm this. It was still a very emotional time around his diagnosis as it was frustrating getting help. It has taken us nearly 6 months to get help for him. However we saw a huge improvement in him prior to this (just by what we have been able to do for him). There are good support groups- contact your local Autism group for help. Be strong, be prepared to fight for your daughter and LOVE her to bits- knowing that she is beautiful and clever but requiring a little more understanding then other kids. You sound like a GREAT Mum. :)

PS If she is on the Autistic Spectrum the 'tantrums' are more likely to be due to frustration then due to naughtiness- in which case you need to deal with them with great sensitiveness and also firmness but not discipline or anger (which can be hard). ALL THE BEST.

Kelly - posted on 02/12/2012

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She is definitely delayed and needs assessment as to why. I also would not respond to any whining or screaming and encourage her to use her words. Do not do it for her. She should be able to communicate herself. I would get pre-k testing done on her. I'm sure at 4 there is some free testing if you are in the states. Start setting some boundaries and reward success and ignore inappropriate behavior. Do not give any attention to temper tantrums or give in. You may have a mix bag of learning issues and behavior. Either way not speaking in full sentences by 4 is def. a delay.

Darlene - posted on 02/12/2012

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My little brother was unable hear well. His speech was delayed and it was extremely frustrating for him. I was the only one that could understand him. My mother took him to see his pediatrician and she wasn't satisfied with the doctor's reasoning. So, she took him to see an ear, nose, throat specialist. Turns out his ears weren't draining properly and it interfered w/ his ability to hear the correct pronunciation of words. Therefore, didn't speak in sentences and would get upset often. Once he had tubes put in his ears he was able to hear. He went to a speech therapist and you would have no idea he ever had challenges with his speech. There has to be a program out there that will help your child. We didn't have a lot of money when we were little and my mom was able to have him see a speech therapist and he has Tudors that assisted him with his school work. And this was 20 years ago.... So there definitely has to be a program out there that will help. Just an idea :) I wish you the best!!

Kendra - posted on 02/12/2012

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A lot of good info from moms. I agree w/ Ruth...have your child evaluated for Autism. I've seen this brfore and "they" always want to place blame on parents or say the child's slow. It's not your fault!

Much love!

Carly - posted on 02/12/2012

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Read the book "The Einstein Syndrome" it talks about bright children who talk late. They usually potty train late and are described as being very stubborn by family.

Katrina - posted on 02/12/2012

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Hi, she sounds similar to my son. He had emotional problems, could only say 3 words but his peers were saying full paragraphs and he's a fussy eater.



However, since the age of 2 and half, he's had Speech & Language Therapy, SENco support both in nursery and now in school, as well as support from his teachers and childminder. We've all been working together as a team. My son is now 5 and has now excelled and is doing so well. He still needs work, but has come a very long way. He sings me songs, reads whole books, loves houmous.



You need a good support system in place now. I wish you all the best.

Elisha - posted on 02/12/2012

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It sounds like she is getting frustrated as if she wants to read but not sure what to do. There should be somewhere to get hhelp without costing to much. As a mother of 3 I sugguest uusing many differnt options. There alot of books you can bbuy that read themselves, also dvd that focus on certain topics and also try some dry erase books wuth shapes colors etc. Sounds like you are trying alot of right things but patience is important. Good luck!! Hope this helps

Gina - posted on 02/11/2012

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I wish I knew what state you live in. In Massachusetts early intervention is available but only until age 3, then there is Headstart for preschool age. If your child is evaluated by either prgram and qualified for services, you pay based on income and Public Health picks up the rest.

Alexandra - posted on 02/07/2012

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after taking her to be evaluated, don't worry if they say she has come kind of condition. with this early intervention and proper education you can certainly fulfill all her needs and direct her future in the right direction.

Bethany - posted on 02/05/2012

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I have reread Pamela's post a couple times now and I was mad about it at first but I don't think she actually meant to be rude. I just don't think she has had the experience with a developmentally delayed child like the rest of us have and she probably didn't read the other comments. She was speaking from her experiences and also trying to help a first time mom. She is right about having to be firm and consistent with children so they know who is in charge. We as parents with developmentally delayed children however know that no matter how firm and consistent we are it doesn't always work. I also found the originall post lacking in details about specific issues she is having regarding the eating and potty training and wish the original poster would respond with more details about those things.



My experience with my dd include a severe speech delay which she was in early intervention speech therapy from 18 months to 3 years old. She is now 4 and in state preschool for free due to her continued need for therapy. Her physical development seemed on par until she got close to three when she started to seem more and more behind in gross motor skills and had problems with aggression towards peers amd adults including us such as biting and scratching. We also were seeming to get nowhere with potty training. We finally got her pee trained at 3.5 but she is still not poop trained. After bringing my concerns up with her dr again at her 4 yr checkup we decided to have a physical therapy eval and an MRI done to check for tethered cord. She has also had constipation since age two months which led to this diagnosis. She has since been diagnosed with tethered cord and we now believe her "sensory issues" that were causing her to be aggressive were actually chronic pain from the tethered cord that we didn't know about due to her speech delay she was unable to express to use that she was in pain until very recently. We had gotten very close a few times at looking into getting an eval to determine if autism was a possibility. Now we are hoping her surgery in couple weeks to correct her tethered cord will solve her aggression and impulsivity issues that were her signs of autism, but of course it may not and she may have autism too on top of her other issues.



We did not realize the full scope of her delays until we had our second dd who is 15 months now and walked and talked early. She is, as far as we can tell so far, developing "normally" and is already trying to potty train and can speak in phrases and say as many words and be understood more clearly than my 4 year old.



I just want you, the original poster, to know that it is not your fault! You seem to be trying but you can get help and you can get it for free or very low cost if you live in the US. Look it up and get help. It will save you a ton of agonizing. I also wanted to let you know there could be other problems here besides an autism or aspergers diagnosis since that seems to be what everyone is pushing at you. That is of course an option but there are many other medical diagnoses that can be checked into as well that can cause similar symptoms. It is especially hard to figure out what is going on with children that are unable to express themselves to you. Good luck and stay strong!

Yvette - posted on 02/05/2012

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I would also like to reply to Pamela's post as she is implying poor parenting. I have 3 children my son who is now 21 was able to read at age four, and I mean read like a full childrens book, out loud to you. My daughter who is now 4 can not speak full sentences either but her sister who is 2 can say all the words her sister can. So before you go spouting off about bad parenting, did you ever stop to think it's not the parent? Pretty rude I think. If you can not keep your comments towards the positive and offer feed back that actually helps maybe you shouldn't comment. If you are such a good parent maybe you should have your own show.

To the other parents who offered Aspergers and Autism, thank you, this was never a thought in my mind since my daughter is so smart in other aspects than speech. This is something I too will definitely look into. I have noticed she had certain OCD behaviors, like things have to be in a certain order. Definitely worth getting checked out, thank you. Danielle, hang in there, minus one bit off negative feedback you got some pretty good advice which helped me as well.

Iridescent - posted on 02/04/2012

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Pamela, by 4 years old having these difficulties it is not parenting. But that's great that you think so! So, when are you going to come over and "fix" the problems I'm having with my 12 year old and 4 year old autistic children, since these are their areas of difficulty? Mind you, we have 3 other children aged 10, 4 and 4, who do not have these same problems, so your "parenting" theory should have held true for them too. But what do I know? YOU know it all.

Pamela - posted on 02/04/2012

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Sounds like you haven't taken up the true role of parent which is to be 'in charge"...not the other way around. That simply means being FIRM in your belief and attitude and only in your voice tone when absolutely necessary. Not yelling or showing exasperation.



Also if you are not talking to her in complete sentences all of the time, how do you expect her to learn? Children at this age simply IMITATE in their learning process. If she is repeating sentences from stories then I think you need to listen to how you are talking to her. Stop and check yourself. Are you REALLY speaking in complete sentences to her all of the time?



You are the parent. You are in control of the situation. If not, then correct your behaviors and get there. If she is in control now, just imagine what a wild, uncontrollable teenager you will have.

Yvette - posted on 02/04/2012

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my daughter is the same way, but fortunately I have all kids (state ins) for the girls. Katrina was put in early intervention before her 3rd birthday and we had a speech therapist come to the house. Once she turned 3 she was enrolled in the Early Learning Center(pre-pre school) and has therapy there as well> she will be 5 this year in October and is still not forming whole sentences. She is very smart in every sense of the word. She understands specific instructions, has an excellent memory, and kind find missing objects like no tomorrow. I have done mostly everything I can think of, her ears are ok,tongue,etc so I just can not understand what the problem is. Sh eis getting better but it seems I am the only one who can understand most of what she says. Her younger sister who is two talks at almost the same level as her, so I know it's not my fault and I don't think it's yours either, so don't be so hard on yourself, just keep working with her, she will be in pre-school soon where they can help more too. Go to your local health department and they should be able to find a program that will fit your needs and if you don't have insurance they put you on a sliding scale depending on your income, or most programs will be free as long as she meets a certain criteria.. Hang in there girl.

Jacqueline - posted on 02/03/2012

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Definately call early interventions services to request evalutaion. But maybe try not leading with words for her. Instead of "Do you want juice?" Try, "What do you want?" Wait long enough for her reply, then encourage proper phrasing. I have severely autistic children, my fumble was not giving them the oppertunity to communicate, because I was to busy telling them what I wanted them to say or do. Leaving them no reason to need to talk. My son is 9, doesnt speak a word. My daughter 6, learning well, and the baby 21 months, wasnt talking at age level,...because I was doing it for her. We have to re-adjust ourselves constantly for every child.

Kim - posted on 02/03/2012

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Try going through your school district. My son, age 5, has been in speech therapy through our school district for 3 years now.

Rachel - posted on 02/03/2012

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she sounds EXACTLY like my daugter did. Its called a comprehension delay. It means that instead of understanding more than she can say, she can say more than she understands. My daughter would memorize scripts, so you'd think you were talking to her, but she had no idea what she was saying - only that it was her line.



She went into a fabulous program that managed to fix it in a year, but that's here in Alberta. Try googling "comprehension delay child"?



Want to tell you its not your fault. My paediatrician attributed her delay to a negative reaction to the chicken pox vaccine when she was one, (she had a seizure) but there are loads of other little, subtle triggers that would drive you crazy if you tried to blame yourself.

Lesley - posted on 02/03/2012

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Your daughter sounds just like my son! He's been diagnosed with autism, but is responding really well to speech therapy and occupational therapy. He will be 5 in April and has only just started talking in full sentences. He also fully toilet trained himself overnight about 2 months ago. The key was being patient and avoiding adding stress to the issue.

Eating issues are very common with autism and I have had limited success in reforming him, but have been able to give him some supplements - eg gummy vitamins.



General advice while waiting for expert care: Give your daughter love, patience and lots of attention. Be guided by her - engage in her world and enjoy her special spirit. Try taking your sentences back to the minimum words but with lots of expression eg "Oooh! Juice please!", in case she has language processing issues. (Many normal 4 year olds can't fully take in more than 3 words in a sentence.)

Charlie - posted on 02/02/2012

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Have her evaluated, she sounds a lot like some of the children I have taught and a lot like my godson.



She may be on the autism spectrum who are incredibly intelligent but often need their parents and teachers to understand how they can help them and the only way you can do this is to begin the process by evaluation.

LaLasha - posted on 02/02/2012

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Get her tested she may have a neurological disorder. I'm not trying to scare you that is just what it seems like to me she may also be hard of hearing.

Jill - posted on 02/02/2012

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I am going to chime in here and agree with several of the answers.

1. child find. they will do a free eval and therapy if needed. you get this info through your local school district and preschools in public schools.

2. this sounds very very much like my daughter who was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 7. She also has a high IQ. Child find may not find this, did not with mine. But speech therapy is very useful anyway you look at it and they do that.

3. Sensory Processing Disorder. This often goes with Aspergers and would account for the picky eating. That is the case with my daughter.

Only you can decide if this is a path worth looking at. You sound like a great parent, doing all the right things. I thought I must be a bad parent too. But, it was just a neurological thing. I was so relieved.

some places to look at to see if this could be it would be:

http://syndromeasperger.com/

http://www.autismtoday.com/articles/wyma...

Jessica - posted on 02/02/2012

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My 3 year old can be very picky, even denying that she likes some of her favorite foods. That is, from what I've been told and seen myself, her wanting to have more control of things she feels are in her realm. She is obviously clever, and there's no reason to think she isn't smart. I had a cousin who barely spoke until close to his 5th birthday- he actually used mostly sign language, though. I agree that telling her to use her words and patience and encouragement are vital. Potty training is difficult for me with my 3 year old, but it's not because she's not smart or that I'm doing things terribly wrong. Some children take longer to do some things, while they may excel at others.

Rose - posted on 02/02/2012

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Ok, 1st. It sounds like your doing all the right things. I would have her evaluated, the school system should be able to help. But, when my oldest was 2yrs. old he would scream or point for what he wanted. I ask my son's Dr. about it and he told me to say what it was and make him use his words to ask for it. ex. if he wanted a drink, I would say do you want a drink? He would have to ask for it to get it. It took a while and we did have tantrums, but, after a couple of days he started to ask for what he wanted.

Samantha - posted on 02/02/2012

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When I read this, a little flag went off. Have you considered the possibility of her being on the spectrum? (Aspergers)

I'm not saying that something is wrong with her, just maybe she uses her mind differently.....and yes, she may be very very smart.

Judy - posted on 02/02/2012

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The Scottish Rites organization offers free speech therapy. Also, if you live in CA, go to your local Regional Center. Good luck!!!

Marlea - posted on 02/02/2012

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i tell my daughter who is going on 3 and couldnt talk much at all. i know she is to old for the birth to 3 program. try head start and hunny dont cry. wanna know something fascinating. einstein didnt talk until he was much older and look he is a genius. tell her to use her words. and just help her out. i know the feeling of all of my daughters problems being my fault cuz i felt i didnt play with her enough and omg we have so much in common potty training is hard and yes my daughter is a very picky eater. u can make it through it. maybe u can do some reasearch on why your daughter is this way. did you know that bpa could be to blame. it has been on the news that when moms get prego they want to be healthier so they go to bottled water. they never told us we could do damage to our kids by drinking bottled water. it is something to look into and hopefully it hleps out a lil bit. good luck

Barbara - posted on 02/02/2012

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This sounds like my son who was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 6. He could recite the numbers 1 to 10 before his 2nd birthday and would not talk in actual sentences until he started reception class (age 4) However, this ended when he started his Thomas the Tank Engine phase - he would watch the videos back to back and could quote the ENTIRE video back to you after he watched it! He is also a VERY picky eater - he is very sensitive to texture and if something is different with one of his favourite foods he will refuse to eat it. Mind you, it doesn't seem to have done him any harm - he is now 18 years old, 6 feet 3 and weighs 200 lbs :) Rest assured you are doing the best thing you possibly can by spending time with her and being consistent - consistency and routine is a VERY large part of my son's life. I also agree with the other mums that you must not blame yourself - I'm a single mum and I learned a long time ago not to blame myself because it very quickly gets you into a downward cycle. Just keep on doing what you are doing at the moment and enjoy your special time with your little girl. She will catch up in her own time - my son also had potty training issues but he ended up training himself just before he went to big school. He is now a happy and healthy young man who has overcome his stutter and actually appeared on stage at our local theatre last year after doing a drama course there. Good luck!

Zhuzha - posted on 02/01/2012

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I've been there. Don't stress out. In my case it turned she is fine. Your child can be visual learner and speech comes later. What you can do for free to ease your mind. Call your local district school and ask them to make speech evaluation, they check hearing an vision as well, and schological readiness to kindergarten , so if she has red flags they ll tell you. And if not in this school than look around , they should refer you to the school where you can o Assesment. Almost in every school there is a program where you can put her for free. Pre-k readiness. And good luck. I was also worried that she doesnt speak well this and that and they told me she is fine. The test will show. And you can't believe how much they change in 2-6 months.

Tempestt - posted on 02/01/2012

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This reminds me of my 2 soon to be 3 year old. He will count to ten in English and Spanish but doesn't communicate the way he should for his age. He also a picky eatter and not interested in the potty. We recently put him in speech and they say he is doing better but we aren't able to notice much of a change at home. We just continue with the routine recommend to us and hope for results. Stay positive your not alone.

Amanda - posted on 02/01/2012

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I have been through speech therapy with two of my children now. Relax mommy, it isnt your fault. My youngest we always tell people she was so busy figuring out how the world works, she forgot to learn how to speak as well. :0)



When she whines for something, ask her to say it nicely.



Ie "Juice please" or "Can I have juice pleace"



If she says it even pronouced wrong, give her what she wants, and repeat the sentence again. No biggy. I do suggest keeping the sentences short and sweet at first. She will catch on, and you will remember the days when she didnt say much (esp on the days she wont stop talking).



I am sure in most states there is state funded speech therapy. Just call your local school they will give you any numbers you need.



The potty training might actually be connected to the speech, many children use potty training as a way of having control in their lives. Maybe because she can not always communicate what she wants/needs. Shes decided she will control her potty training.

Bethany - posted on 02/01/2012

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What kinds of difficulties are you having with the potty training? That is a very broad subject and pinpointing some things there could help us understand her all around health. Other than that I agree with everyone else get her evaluated for free through a head start program sin your school district.

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I definitely agree with a lot of the other Mom's, but I really wouldn't get too worked up if you can avoid it. You know your child is smart so whatever is slowing her down I'm sure can be resolved, and if you worry too much your daughter will pick up on that and you don't want her to feel she is disappointing you I've had a lot of the same worries with my daughter, she's 4 and also not using sentences very much, she also stutters and has trouble with certain letters, but will recite her books just like yours. We're having her checked for dyslexia, since I am dyslexic and it is hereditary. Obviously the earlier they get help the better, but I think it's also important to insure your child that there is nothing wrong with them and to still have fun with them while you work on their issues. It's not easy seeing my daughter as the least vocal in her nursery school class, but every child is different and they need our confidence in them for their confidence to bloom. Best of luck.

Jennifer - posted on 02/01/2012

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One more thing. Einstein was thought to be mentally handicapped. Failed out of school.

Jennifer - posted on 02/01/2012

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My son didn't walk until he was 18 months, but knew his alphabet by that time. He also wasn't potty trained until he was 4 1/2. You've heard the saying, "They won't go to K in diapers." Well, mine almost did. He's in the 6th grade and gifted. Each child learns at their own pace and does things differently. I have a friend whose 2 yo (almost 3) son is just now saying words. He is in speech therapy and has been for 6 months. One place said autism. The place she is at now said there is no way he is autistic. I'm going to tell you what I told her. James Earl Jones didn't speak until he was 6. Now, he is the most recognized voice out there. Ask your ped. If they don't seem to think there's a problem, just keep working with her. You are doing what you need to do. Us moms seem to think we are to blame for our kids not doing well when its simply the kids doing things on their own time. Don't compare to other kids. I beat myself up over that. Good luck.

Leslie - posted on 02/01/2012

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You should contact your home school and request that a evaluation be done to see if there is a underlying problem. Its is free and for the most part they do a good job. My son is 18 now and is autisic, We had problems like your are talking about when he was younger. You daughter sounds like a smart little girl and she just needs help forming her thoughts into words. Good Luck

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