4 year old potty mouth

Ramona - posted on 05/11/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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is in serious need of advise. My four year old woke me up this morning screaming "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, B*tch" and throwing things at her bedroom door. We do NOT use these words in our house, and we do NOT spank... does anybody have any advise on how to handle this?

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Dawn - posted on 05/11/2009

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I have always told my son (who is now 9) whenever he used the word 'hate' that "hate is a strong word - you may not like something and that is okay, but hate is very strong - try another word." It still allowed him to express his emotions, but in a way that I was more comfortable with. As far as the foul language, again, if it occurred, I would ask him to choose another word. At that age, they want to be in control of what they can, allow them to express, but in a way that you can help to control and/or redirect. Hope that helps!!

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I don't recommend feeding soap to your child, no it is not a food. But like toothpaste, which is like soap, you place it in there mouth for taste not to have them swallow or eat it. It is not abuse, beside how many children drink soapy bathwater. Hot sauce would probably work but don't let them get it on their fingers then touch their eyes.

Ramona - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

She could be bored or seeking more attention. She also could have heard this from somone else. At that age, they will copy anything even if they don't know the meaning. Try sitting down and talking to her about it and why it isn't a good thing to say. Try a "constructive punishment". Instead of yelling or time outs, make her pick something up or draw out what she is feeling.


I'm digging the constructive punishment thing, she is very artsy and this may really work well for her....

Tiffany - posted on 05/11/2009

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I would calmly explain to her that those words are unacceptable and explain why and use your own example as proof - maybe saying something like "we do not speak those kinds of words in this household, mommy and/or daddy do not talk like that and so it is unacceptable that you should talk that way as well". If this is her first offense - hopefully just explaining this to her would work. If it's recurring - then you may need to take a different approach. Next, she is obviously learning that somewhere and picking that up. If you know where she has seen this behavior (and I'm sure you can figure it out) then I would also approach that person and calmly/kindly explain to her that this is inappropriate around your daughter and you would please appreciate it if they would be more conscious of their choice of words around your daughter and how hard you are working to prevent/model appropriate behavior of what is expected from your children. Hope this helps some.

Ramona - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

She could be bored or seeking more attention. She also could have heard this from somone else. At that age, they will copy anything even if they don't know the meaning. Try sitting down and talking to her about it and why it isn't a good thing to say. Try a "constructive punishment". Instead of yelling or time outs, make her pick something up or draw out what she is feeling.


I'm digging the constructive punishment thing, she is very artsy and this may really work well for her....

Ramona - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

She could be bored or seeking more attention. She also could have heard this from somone else. At that age, they will copy anything even if they don't know the meaning. Try sitting down and talking to her about it and why it isn't a good thing to say. Try a "constructive punishment". Instead of yelling or time outs, make her pick something up or draw out what she is feeling.


I'm digging the constructive punishment thing, she is very artsy and this may really work well for her....

Samantha - posted on 05/11/2009

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I agree with Julie... NEVER use soap. There have been deaths and children taken away from parents.

Julie - posted on 05/11/2009

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Do NOT use soap, because it is not edible, it is considered child abuse! That is why they recommend hot sauce.

Samantha - posted on 05/11/2009

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She could be bored or seeking more attention. She also could have heard this from somone else. At that age, they will copy anything even if they don't know the meaning. Try sitting down and talking to her about it and why it isn't a good thing to say. Try a "constructive punishment". Instead of yelling or time outs, make her pick something up or draw out what she is feeling.

Julie - posted on 05/11/2009

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find out where she heard it and tell her they r not nice words that make mommy & Daddy sad. If she continues try time out then if not try hot sauce.

Julie - posted on 05/11/2009

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find out where she heard it and tell her they r not nice words that make mommy & Daddy sad. If she continues try time out then if not try hot sauce.

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