4 year saying she hates her mom! (HELP)

Bobbisue - posted on 09/10/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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what do you do when your 4 year old tells you they hate you??

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Bobbisue - posted on 09/12/2010

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i have no idea something tell's maybe she hears it from her father, me & him havent been together in 3 er 4 years and he still does it, i hate it and i do say well thats okay cause i love you. and she wont talk to me

Kelina - posted on 09/10/2010

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Lol i saw one post from a woman i will never forget. She said when she said that to her mother she yelled right back "Well then i must be doing something right!" If she wants to tell you she hates you, i think the more you try to stop it the more she's going to do it. all you can do is let her know you love her, especially by still enforcing the rules and not letting her get away with things. Good luck!

Alicia - posted on 09/10/2010

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I tried that with my mom, her response "Oh that is wonderful news!" Then I would saw I'm running away, she would tell me not to forget my tooth brush! Really mom I'm said I was running away and you are worried about my teeth! My cousin did that to my aunt, packed her little wheel suit case and walked up the street, turned around walked in front of the house, crossed the street and did they same thing on the other side. We were laughing very hard. She was not happy that we didn't come after her! But o man it was funny!

Bobbisue - posted on 09/10/2010

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I really think she might be hearing it from her father.
like she only says it after shes been with him
when i get mad at her for doing something she wont speak to me
or anything, she just sits there and looks a different way shes really
senitive she crys over everything but when she said she hated me for the first time i couldnt stop crying., and it hurts badly! she lives with her dad but i dont know what to do we dont get along and when i brung it up to him he said she says that all the time to me. i dont know how he responds to her but i dont like it!

Amy - posted on 09/10/2010

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I go one of two ways when my son does this, I laugh at him and say "well I love you" or I say that's ok and then walk away and not pay any attention to him. When I laugh at him he follows it up with not liking the rules and then talks about moving out of the state to live with his grammie. That's when I tell him when he turns 18 if that's what he wants to do he can do that for now he lives in our house and has to live by our rules. When I walk away and stop paying attention to him, usually after 5 minutes he's calmed down and tells me he's sorry, we hug/kiss and start playing something. Like other moms have said it's there way of hurting you and trying to get their way!

Medic - posted on 09/10/2010

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My son went threw that at 3 and I always said very matter of factly, "And that's your right but I will always love you." After a while of that he gave up now he always says how much he loves us. Its them trying to get what they want by hurting you.

Kate CP - posted on 09/10/2010

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Where is she hearing "I hate you" from? My daughter has never ever said that to me...she'll say "You're not very nice to me!" when she doesn't get her way but never "I hate you!" She has to be hearing this some where.

Kathy - posted on 09/10/2010

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My response has always been, "That is fine. I still love you." Calm and sweet. Frustrates them good.

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2010

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tell her I am sorry to hear that but I love you anyway. She is being 4 and trying to hurt you because you didn't let her do something. If you make a big deal out of it it will continue if you acknowledge her feelings but don't react she won't be getting what she wants and she will stop. The other option is to explain to her that perhaps she doesn't like what mommy has done and she is allowed to feel that way but saying I hate you is hurtful and mean.

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