4yo - wont sleep in own bed

Jamie - posted on 08/29/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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my son is 4 - over time we have let my son sleep in our bed every once in a while - it has always taken a while for him to fall asleep and he usually can only fall asleep in his bed if someone lays with him - if you put him in his bed and just say goodnight, he will just keep getting up until one of us goes and lays with him - he falls asleep quicker in our bed so it's become easier to just let him lay in our bed so we can all get to bed at a decent time - now it's an every night thing and he absolutely does not want to sleep in his bed - even before we let him regularly sleep in our bed he always complains that he doesn't like his bed, or he doesn't like the dark so we got him nighlights and then he doesn't like shadows.......... obviously we shouldn't have let him start sleeping in our bed so much but any advice? I though of getting him a bigger bed but don't want to spend the money if he still wont sleep in it... he's in a toddler bed and mine's a queen (which obviously I wouldn't get him a queen..........)

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3 Comments

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Schyla - posted on 08/29/2010

644

68

Starting with a bigger bed is a great idea but he won't stay in it till you enforce the rule (Trust me I know I have a four and half two and half year old and am 24 weeks pregnant) so here is what My husband and I do we take them to their bed and as long as they lay still and are quite witch ever of us is doing bedtime will stand in the door way we have a three strike rule if we have to say shhh three times we will leave with a set time that we will come back and check if we hear them or they get up the hall light is turned off till they quite down. If they lay still and are quite it takes about 20 minutes for them to fall asleep, my kids have loveys and if I have to remind them three times the lovey comes with me until they correct the behavior and if I take it three times then they do not get it back till they are quite (seems extreme but when you've been doing the screaming all night thing for two years you do what you have to) I have never had to keep a lovey all night and after about a week of this routine they got that if they lay still and quite Mommy or Daddy would stay in the room till they were asleep at this age it's more about missing out on fun stuff then anything else and with our method they are the ones that control rather they have mom or dad with them and rather the light is on or not and rather they get to keep their lovey or not. and we remind them of this Girls you have to be quite or I'm going to leave your room Girls last warning I'm going to leave the room Ok Girls since you chose not to be quite I'm leaving the room Next I'm going to turn off the hall light Alright girls one more warning and I'm turning off the light Ok I'm turning off the light Ok since you were Quite I'm turning the light back on but if you don't stay quiet I'm gonna turn off the light again and if you keep it up I'm gonna take your blanket usually on bad nights that as far as it goes but I've been doing this for about 6 months and at first I did end up taking the blankets once. Good luck

Amy - posted on 08/29/2010

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My son is 4 and up until about 5 months ago he was in our bed. We had a new baby and I didn't want him waking up everytime she woke up in the middle of the night so he now falls asleep in his own bed. He still wakes about 4 nights a week and comes into our room but my husband and I have never had a problem with since we have crazy schedules and sleep for us is very valuable lol.

Jodi - posted on 08/29/2010

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Why not take him out to choose a bigger bed for himself? If you buy a full size single bed, he will eventually use it - he's not going to be sleeping in your bed when he's 7 is he? Also let him choose a quilt cover himself with some of his favourite characters. This could really encourage him to want to sleep in his bed.



My daughter was much the same at that age, and I struggled to sleep when she was in our bed (she used to come in during the night if she woke up), so I threw her old cot mattress and some blankets on the floor next to my side of the bed, and she used to just creep into our room and sleep there rather than disturbing us. She is now 5 1/2 and has grown out of it, I have no problems getting her to stay in her bed or go back to bed.