6 year old too hard on herself

Debra - posted on 02/25/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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The teacher overheard my 6 year old saying "i'm an idiot" today. She has been very hard on herself lately if she gets anything less than 100% or if she gets any answers wrong on her homework.

She is a very emotional child that can get her feelings hurt easily but seems to be hardest on herself. We have always tried to praise her in everything she does but I think this may contribute to sibling jealousy a bit with her baby sister (10 months).

How should I go about trying to raise her self esteem? Am I missing something? help!

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Holly - posted on 02/26/2010

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Several of my children have this personality. (I have 12 - ages 28 down to 7!) There are a couple things that seem to have helped. I play the piano for our church choir and I make it a point to let them see me practise difficult parts over and over. I talk to them about how everyone constantly makes mistakes. We've also taken them to a few Philadelphia Phillies baseball games. It's so great when they see professionals strike out! We talk about how even the best of the best make mistakes. How about the olympics? Let her watch the ice skating and how these wonderful skaters fall frequently. They still smile, get up and keep going, and that's the important part! I hope this helps.

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Ail - posted on 02/25/2010

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Remind her of the things you remember to this day because you got them wrong the first time. We rarely remember what we got right, and even if we remember them for the test, sometimes they are soon forgotten. We learn and learn from the things we got wrong, so we are sometimes smarter for it in the long run. Sometimes it's not even on "tests", but things that we couldn't do at first. Remind her that you are still learning, whether it's understanding the needs of your newborn and her language or how to handle friendship challenges. Every day that you learn something new is a good day. Every day that you know it all, is kinda boring! Best wishes!

Cherie - posted on 02/25/2010

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My daughter is exactly the same! She is so hard on herself and expects nothing but perfection, and if she gets something wrong the first time it is the end of the world! I just try to praise her as much as possible and when she is crying about something she has done wrong I try to calm her down and sit with her to help her get it right. I also point out all the things she do so well!!! I have talked to her teacher about it and she said it seems to be common around girls that age so I am hoping with time she will believe in herself more and more! She is also the eldest and my son is nearly 3. I think as long as we praise them and help them to acheive they will slowly stop doubting themselves.

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I'm concerned that my daughter is headed in the same direction...she's turning 4 next weekend and is just now starting to learn how to write her name and she gets so frustrated and says "i just can't do it!" all the time...I tell her that we (other members of the household) had to practice a lot when we were her age too but it doesn't seem to help...and actually...since she just started on it...she's doing quite well!!

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My daughter is the same way. She is the oldest(as was I, and I am the same way). She just needs lots of encouragement. I had to assure my daughter that A, B, C are all good grades. (c means average) She still cries when she misses a question or her drawing isn't perfect, but I just keep giving her praise for doing her best. Hopefully, she will realize that I love her no matter what.

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