7 month old and tantrums

Danielle - posted on 03/21/2012 ( 187 moms have responded )

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ok i have a 7 month old who throws really bad tantrums and his docter has even seen these fits and has agreed that they are tantrums if your going to post somthin because you think iam a bad mom because of it but we have to stick him in his bedroom and let him cry it out he will go on and on and on and there is NO TEARS AT ALL!!! so at 7 month wat do we do if your going to be rude than save you energy and dont say nothing at all i dont agree with people critizing others for trying ther best were all human not perfect





ps no he is not teething had doc look and no ear infections he has done this sence he was 3 months old

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[deleted account]

Dear Danielle,



You are making poor parenting choices, and the moms here are giving you advice. YOU are chosing to ignore their words. Therefore you retaliate by posting about being rude and criticizing.



So take it for what it's worth (or simply refrain from posting)



1. Grow some balls and suck it up when we offer you advice. And CUT THE ATTITUDE! (It makes you appear very immature)

2. When you post, spell check and grammar check are your friends.

3. This is an international forum, keep that in mind that women are posting from all around the world.

4. Locking a 7 month old in a room may be viewed as cruel and unloving, and yes, even a bad mom

5. If you intend on using the "cry it out" method, LEARN it. Lots of website to teach you, as a parent, how to use CIO.

6. A 7 month old cries when distressed, uncomfortable, hungry, wet, colciky, reflux, tummy or ear ache. This is NOT a tantrum! (Trust me when he hits 2 years old and is openly definat, THAT is a tantrum)

7. What your baby NEEDS is his mama to carry, cradle, rock him, CRAVES physical contact.

8. I stress PHYSICAL contact- if you do not have a baby carrier, mai tai, sling, or something of the sort I would highly reccommend one. There are many women that would be more than happy to assist you in baby wearing.

9. What is your baby's diet like? You may wish to re-evaluate his diet to see if there are any allergies that you may misinterpret as a tantrum.

10. What is your baby's home enviornment like? Again- possible allergens include smoke, pet dander/hair, cleaning chemicals, baby laundry detergent, etc. Allergies are often misinterpreted as 'tantrums'

11. You may wish to consider taking some parenting classes. This is not meant to be insulting in the least-it's a suggestion offered as a coping mechanism. It is clear that you cannot cope with your baby. And for the record, I was 32 years old when I took an infant-care class for the same reasons. It was nothing to be shameful of, in fact, it was EMPOWERING on how to be the best parent possible!

12. What assistance do you have? Are you a single parent? Married/partner? Is the baby's father actively involved in his role as a father? Any grandparents or close trusted family friends to assist? Do you feel burned out?



Danielle- I welcome any feedback and wish you and your baby the best.

Jenni - posted on 03/21/2012

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You lock a 7 month old baby in his bedroom?



Infants cry because they have no other way to communicate their needs and feelings. How else are they suppose to tell you something is wrong? It's your job as a parent to attend to these needs (which includes emotional needs) and console. I wouldn't recommend ignoring tantrums until past the age of 18 months in which case you only ignore tantrums over not getting their way, or tell them you cannot help them until they are calm. When they can actually understand somewhat why you are ignoring the tantrum.



If he's crying for hours on end *something* is wrong. Not even the most resilent 2 year old tantrums for hours. Something IS wrong and I'd suggest you get a second opinion from a pediatrician. Ignoring your 7 month old and leaving him alone to cry it out for hours is seriously harmful to his psychological well-being. At the very least sit there and hold him through it and let him know you're there for him.

Terri - posted on 03/23/2012

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Okay, so I'm reading all these posts and they are almost all regarding a 7 month old baby. That's fine, except, Danielle says this behavior started around 3 months. So what she needs to do is go back to what was going on about 4 months ago and see if she can figure out what may have changed at that time that might still be affecting her baby. Was there a change in feeding? Was there a change from breastmilk to formula? Or maybe solids were introduced? My gut response says that something happened that is continuing to go on that is resulting in the babys response.



When do the tantrums/crying/whatever happen? Is it within 20-30 minutes after feeding? Maybe the baby is having trouble digesting his meals? He could be lactose intolerant, or it could just be that something he's eating is causing gas that gives him a painful tummy. The upshot being, crying would make him swallow air, which would then exacerbate the problem. So you might have a baby here who is dealing with two (or more) causes of pain.



Danielle mentioned a couple of times that she developed a hernia as a toddler from crying. The question becomes, is it possible that she, too, had some sort of gastric upset that her parents missed, let her "cry it out" and got a hospital trip for that sage advice.



Some suggestions Danielle:



1) sit down for a few days and record when and what you feed the baby.

2) record the start and end time of every "tantrum".

3) record your own mood as to how you were feeling just prior to the onset of the tantrum.



At the end of the week, look to see if you can find any patterns. I did this when looking for migraine triggers, It really does help and gives you a clearer picture of what you're doing, what the baby is doing, and what causes and effects might happening.



Good luck!

Shawnn - posted on 03/22/2012

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For all those recommending the proverbial "pop on the butt", or trying to reason with the kid, I'd like to remind you that Danielle, the original poster, is speaking of a 7 month old BABY. Not a toddler, NOT a child that can communicate verbally yet, as Kate mentioned a few posts back. And, as Kate mentioned, a BABY is not going to vocalize words, just cries. That is their vocalization.



Talking/reasoning works when the child is old enough to understand what you are saying. No 7 month old is going to understand "your behavior is not ok, please tell me what is bothering you"...because 1, their comprehension at that age is minimal, and 2 (again) they cannot verbalize in words and sentences yet!



The thing that really disturbs me is that I'm seeing a trend where doctors (who we're supposed to TRUST for crying out loud) are minimalizing parental concerns, ignoring symptoms, and basically telling us that, because we're the mom, and they're the doctor, we know nothing and they know everything. I experienced that with my son almost 20 years ago, and were it not for a great nurse that DID pay attention, my son would be dead now.



Moms, don't EVER let a doctor tell you that you're making too much fuss about your kids when they are sick, hurt, etc! If you feel that your complaints are being trivialized, or flat out ignored, then see another doctor, or find a children's hospital and take them to the ER there. Another friend of mine almost lost her baby last month due to an illness that was being ignored by her pediatricians. They even called child services on her and tried to get her investigated for abuse, because she was bringing the baby (4 months old) in "too frequently"...and that baby just got out of MAJOR surgery at Children's in Denver for the condition that the original doctor said "didn't exist".

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/21/2012

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Try to find out WHY he is throwing a tantrum...whether it is wanting a toy, hungry, wet, cutting a tooth, or just wants a hug. I am going to try to be nice, but locking a 7 month old in a room to just cry for hours is not going to teach him anything except he is alone. That may be making it worse. Pick him up, hug him, feel for teeth....bring him around the house and distract him by having him look in the mirror. Or take him on a baby safari, show him things in the house. Use a nice calm voice....move from one thing to another until something gets his interest. Let him chew on a wet cold wash cloth while you do it. Sorry, but leaving your kid at 7 months in a room to just cry is not trying your best. I hope you try some of the advice we have all given.

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Rachel - posted on 05/11/2014

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My 7m old baby just a few weeks ago started getting very upset when we change her diaper and dress her, or take something away from her. She usually stops when I pick her up and give her a snuggle, or if she's really unhappy I'll give her her binky wile giving her some snuggling time. I want her to know I understand and feel sad that she's unhappy, but I'm trying to help her and keep her safe and dry. It's not a good idea to let your baby cry it out. He or she is just upset. letting him cry it out is like telling him you don't care and he can't self sooth because he's not able to do that yet.

Shawnn - posted on 12/19/2013

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Yeah, so what are you doing about it? You've been letting the docs tell you "he'll grow out of it" for 2 years now...and he's still physically assaulting other children, and from the sounds of it, totally out of control.

So, what are you DOING to get him help? Sounds like it's time to get some behavioural therapy going and testing for other conditions.

Danielle - posted on 12/19/2013

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hey its been a while.. my son is now two years old and his fits have gotten so bad he has broke a window, his door, ect he has already gone to get stitches in his head from him thowing hisself back because daddy was not making his food fast enough he draggs his sister down the hall by her hair and she is almost 7 i can not take him in public and that has been since birth he screams the hole time doctor says oh he will grow out of it in new time.... he is mean to other kids my niece getts beat on the whole time she is over here because he hits her in the head with toys i guess the saying your kids will be ten times worse is so true

Tracey - posted on 02/01/2013

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Michelle, can you get a mai-tai or baby wrap (not the drink, LOL, although I'll bet that sounds great) and wear him? My kids were *all* like this. A tantruming, clingy baby is not being observant of the outside world and so not developing his mind the way he should. I wore mine, and they were *so*, much happier and I had both hands free to do things.

From his viewpoint, he's already terrified when you're out of arms' reach, so when he then hurts himself, it's just more pain and he doesn't connect it with his actions--he's already in a panic and completely focused on his panic. So he keeps getting into the same things over and over without connecting his actions with the results he's getting.

If you can wear him (and while wraps are a lot more versatile, once it warms up you may be too hot in one), you can keep him calm, and he'll be closer to eye level so he can see what you're seeing. If you pick a wrap over a mai-tai, you can even tuck his arms inside it so he can't reach for things. Or you can tie him on your back so he can't reach for, say, the stove. He's going to be clingy for now, so you may as well have him happy and clingy rather than screaming and unsafe and clingy. And lest you think you need to push him away harder, ever had someone try to push you off a cliff? How do you think you would react? In his mind, efforts to push him away are the same thing and he's going to fight it all the harder.

My own clingy kids are now 16, 13, and 8. The 13-year-old was the worst. Just like your son and maybe then some. She went to Manhattan pretty much by herself at age 9 for a week-long international dance competition. I had a ride/room for her who took her to her various master classes and rehearsals by subway, but didn't go in the buildings with her. She *loved* it and wants to live in New York and travel when she grows up. The 16-year-old is planning to go to Italy alone by himself next month, and when he gets back, drive to California this summer. The 8-year-old is a normal 8-year-old who informed me last night that she's planning to explore our new neighborhood by herself tomorrow (nope--I haven't explored it yet so I'm going too).

But the nicest aspect of my clingy babies turning into very independent kids is that they all trust me. They're all still snuggly, even my 16-year-old football player, who doesn't hesitate to give me bear hugs in front of his team. They trust me enough to tell me what's going on with their lives. This is the exact opposite of how my parents treated me--another clingy baby--and I have never quite trusted my parents to have my best interests in mind because they kept trying to shove me off that cliff before I was old enough to realize it wasn't a cliff, or at least as high as I thought.

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2013

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I ended up here by typing something like "7 month old, tantrums, bumps head all the time, cries all the time, help" into google. I glanced over a few posts because it's so bad that I might have 15 minutes before he is awake again and the bottles need washed, my house is a mess and I TRY to work from home. I guess for now at least I know I'm not the only one and should call the pediatrician rather than wait for his next well baby.

I'm so frustrated. And depressed. I have 2 adult children and it wasn't anything like this. Don't get me wrong, I adore my little guy but I CAN'T BREATH. I have put my mattress on the floor and baby proofed the master bedroom just to have a place where I can set him down for a minute, etc etc. If I turn my head to brush my teeth he tries to climb his crib from the outside and falls, hangs on my leg and screams, follows me in the bathroom and starts playing with the toilet (which I don't have a spare second to clean) until he bumps his head or if I attempt to close the door he stands up and leans on it throwing a fit until he falls and bumps his head. Putting him in the "safety" of his crib is worse. He stands up, screams, throws himself backwards and bumps his head on the wood. That's just an example.

He crawls, walks around furniture and can climb like a monkey. But he has no concept of what happens when he let's go or throws himself in a tantrum.

I carried him into the kitchen with me yesterday to get a coke. I opened the fridge, set him down to grab the coke and before I had the coke out he had climbed halfway up the inside of the fridge. I have to hold him or be right next to him 24/7. I can't get anything done for fear he will hurt himself. Valid fear. He WILL hurt himself. Leaving him to cry a little bit only makes it worse and baby "safe" places like I mentioned, the crib are no help.

To top it off he was born 10 lbs 6 oz. he wears size 24 months now but is not overweight for his height. I am carrying this weight every time I have to move rooms. I am still in pain from the c-section, I am alone 12 hours a day. Dad just started getting home at 7 pm when I finally "lost it" on him. For over 6 months I was alone from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed until a couple of weeks ago (Dad is working). My parents are 2 hours away, my sisters are an hour away and work. I'm alone.

I'm rambling. But thanks for letting me get it out and letting me know I'm not alone in having a 7 month old that is going through the terrible 2's.

And perfect timing...he is awake. His nap was 15 minutes. He takes about 2 of those a day. A decent nap is rare. Unless I lay with him. He senses me leave no matter how sound asleep he is. And 2 feet away to reach my laptop is too far for him (I work on my laptop).

:(

Liz - posted on 03/27/2012

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He may be over tired or perhaps has some sensory issues. Sensory issues can make life difficult for little guys depending on the severity. And they don't always outgrow them....

Krista - posted on 03/27/2012

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I think that the OP has received lots of great advice here, and hopefully she will be able to seek out some resources to help her get to the bottom of this issue and help her child.



Thanks, everybody.



Krista E.

WTCOM Moderator

Natalie - posted on 03/27/2012

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I'm sure we've all thought that way about our own children at times, but REALLY! There is no need for such hateful language on here.

Beth - posted on 03/27/2012

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all kids have tantrums. My son would jump in the air and throw himself on the ground just screaming and kicking. I don't think there is one answer for every child and parent.

If he did not get his way the tantrum would start.

Good luck. I let them happen and we would talk about it when it was done and we were ok with it. 7 mons is young to have a tantrum in my opinion. is there tension in the house the child is picking up on?

Gloria - posted on 03/27/2012

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My granddgtr @ a just a few mos old, was crying a lot! Turns out she had a bad case of colic. That should be checked out. and all that Danielle, said. I don't think, a 7 month old, would throw tantrum's. Doesn't make sense to me.

[deleted account]

You might as well put yourself in a time-out. For that matter, a time-out room preferably with a bed of fine silk sheets and sound-proof. That way you can ignore your baby in peace.

Kathie - posted on 03/27/2012

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You are doing the right think by trying to find out what is wrong with him. There are services out there if you do not have the funds to get help for him. Don't give up on him, because he needs you. I had two children that cried all the time, and it does stress you out even if you are holding them or just trying to do everything possible. What city do you live in?

Kathie - posted on 03/27/2012

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There is some really good advise on here. He's only 7 months and buying him new toys will not do the trick if something is wrong. He also is not old enough to be able to play with his toys by himself. If you need to take a break from him, maybe you could get someone to come and hold him for you, while you take a walk or go out and play with your other 2 children. Because he cries does not mean that you are a bad mom, it means that something is not right with him. You also may want to try holding him in another position, because he doesn't intentionally head you in the face or pull your hair, he still doesn't have full control over his arms. When he is upset, I could see where his arms and legs would go everywhere. Please, never shout or yell at him, because then you are teaching him negative behavior, and he will think that that is the way to act.

Kathie - posted on 03/27/2012

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I don't think people are trying to put you down and say that you are a bad mom. I think they are concerned that there could be an underlying problem, and your 7 month old could be in pain, needing more bonding time, etc. Since they cannot tell us what they need and he may not know how to even express. He may be having a fit because that is the only way he knows how to express himself. Something is not right, and I would never put an infant in a room to cry it out. i would get a second opinion or try carrying him around. He may need more skin to skin contact or just need you. I have 4 bio children and 2 adopted from an institution, and 5 grandchildren. I'm not saying that I know everything there is to know about parenting, but something is not right. All children are different, and some just need more loving from their parents. If holding him quiets him, then that's better than listening to him scream.. You should read the book "The boy who was raised as a dog." It talks about the effects of not giving infants more attachment time. The way we take care of them now will effect who they are later.

DandieLion - posted on 03/27/2012

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Hi Danielle :) your right we are all human and not perfect. This is what I have to say about your situation. I have a 2.5 year old son. When he was 6 months I started learning sign language (started with baby signs) and began teaching my son. By 9 months he could sign back to me. He started signing more,chicken, and frog first. By 12 months he knew at least 50 signs. Such signs as hurt, cry, more, please, thank you, potty, poop ect REALLY helped me understand what was going on in his head WAY before his speech was clear. It made him sooo happy when he knew his mommy could understand him. This did NOT delay his speech progress, in fact it made him BETTER at communicating via sign, or speech. Because he was able to tell me what was on his mind he NEVER had tantrums. He gets upset like all humans but we can communicate about it and it doesn't last long. I also am a firm believer of attachment parenting. Holding your son more,and sleeping with him when you can really helps ease his temperament as well, Dr.Sears has information about attachment parenting in his "Baby book" and google will direct you to many links associated with it. FYI your doctor went to school to learn about medicine and the human anatomy, not motherhood and "tantrums". Take doctor advice about your parenting or child's behavior with a grain of salt.

Amanda - posted on 03/27/2012

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This has been going on with us too. I have a 7 month old who doesn't sleep well at night even if were co-sleeping. He always takes a nap around 8:30 since he's been up for 2hrs and gets very crabby. We try holding him and feeding him his bottle, feeding him cereal. We usually have a routine but lately he has been way off after being sick 3 weeks ago. He isn't teething and doesn't have ear infection. Being a new mom I didn't want to do anything with letting him cry but this is the only way he will take naps most the time. Before we put him in his crib his diapers changed, he doesn't want the bottle or food and u can tell he's tired. He cries for about 20 mins then he's sleeping. We've tried multiple things to get him to sleep nothing else has worked. He doesn't get enough sleep so we have done the cry it out method when he's like this.

Katina - posted on 03/27/2012

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Danielle,

Each child is different and as he is not your only child I expect you have experience and know your child. Some children just have bad tempers, and yes people they can show up at this age. However, I had a child once ( I did foster care) who had stomach issues. He cried a lot because his stomach was hurting. He was taken from home because of failure to thrive, the doctors could not find anything specifically wrong with the child, but I found that after changing formula several times things were not getting better. I eventually switched him to regular milk and he did much better. But children generally do not just cry without reason. I would really pay attention to when the child cries. If he is crying all the time, I would look at other things the doctor may have missed, like a skin condition. If a child is uncomfortable, their skin is itching or burning they can also cry all the time. But seriously some children are just criers and as parents we have to just deal with it. Is your child on a schedule for naps etc? Because this can sometimes affect the child as well. But hang in there.

Holly - posted on 03/27/2012

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She said put him in his room not lock him in his room, and has your doctor mentioned anything about Colic? Or even try switching formula's?? A pediatrician will tell you it's alright to let your child cry for hours.... If they are changed and fed and they throw fits or crying it's PERFECTLY FINE TO PUT THEM IN THEIR CRIB AND LET THEM CRY.... As said by my pediatrician!

Jodi - posted on 03/26/2012

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There's a big difference between 9 months old and 3 months old (and the OP says her baby has been doing this since 3 months old). A younger infant does NOT have the capability of intentional goal-directed behaviour, so there is no WAY this child is throwing a tantrum because he is not getting what he wants. In fact, many children do not develop this cognitive ability until 9-12 months. Geez people......go and find out a bit about child development and it might make sense!

Monique - posted on 03/26/2012

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OMG!!!! Thank Goodness!! I thought I was the only one, I'm sorry I dont mean to minimize your isssue but I had to question my own self and ask can a baby really have a tantrum? I have a 9 month old and she too throws a fit, when you take something away, if you put her down when she doesnt want to, if she sees a toy her older sister has and she wants it, the list goes on and on. I dont know i usually use the re-direct approach I find it works best almost every time. Give him something else to hold or sing a funny song, that way you both get a laugh!!! Trust me you could always use one!!! Good LUck!!!

From a mom who understands

Miriam - posted on 03/26/2012

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I'm really sad when I hear stories like. With my first son I tried CIO and it broke my heart. I would never treat a 7 month old as if they're capable of manipulating you and chucking tantrums. If it's screaming for hours could there be a hidden medical condition? I'd definitely make another appointment with another doctor ASAP!

Shawnn - posted on 03/26/2012

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Now, I'd go with Sarah L's definition of a "tantrum" in a 7 month old.



Yes, it's a "tantrum" because he has a need that is not met, nor is it being met by being left to CIO

Sarah - posted on 03/26/2012

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So he's having tantrums? Big deal - it happens. Yep even at 7 months old. Even a newborn will throw a 'tantrum' however the important thing is to look at what a tantrum IS and what it ISN'T. It isn't defiance or manipulation. It's a way of saying he has a need and that need isn't being met.



You've said you know why he screams and cries - then do something about it! He wants to be with you - then be with him. HOlding him, but ignoring him while holding him isn't giving him YOU. He needs your undivided attention. Read to him, look at him, play WITH him. Toys and TV can't be there for him, you can.You say he wants to reach things - then make the things he can see and reach saved for him a nd let him reach them!.



However you've also said he isn't growing. Sure you've said he's had all the tests done and they're fine - but I really wonder if all the tests have actually been done. Have they down allergy testing, blood tests for antibodies to proteins in dairy, gluten, soy or others? Have they checked for heart issues using a dopplar, or a CT scan? A baby that doesn't grow is a concern and if he's not growing and crying all the time it's a problem.



Though as you've posted more it sounds like he's not really crying ally he time, but rather crying for specific reasons - and if that specific reason is happening a lot, then all you can do is change what you're doing. He doesn't want to be locked in his room by himself (which is what it amounts to when he's in there behind a gate and you're in another room. Sure you can see him through the monitor, but he can't see you. He wants you to hold him. Instead of telling him no b/c you're busy, let the stuff wait. Fix supper for the crock pot in the AM or the night before so that when he needs you most later int eh day he you'll be available. If you can't have him a round when you clean b/c of chemicals, then chage what you clean with. Bleach is highly toxic anyhow and shouldn't be used. A bit of white vinegar in water is great for disinfecting even give him a sponge and his own little bucket so he can be beside you and work too. The more you let him be with you and part of your day, the less he'll cry. The more you push him a way the more he'll cry.



He wants to explore. Rather than say no all day long and hear him cry, change your home to make as much as possible safe for him. Bolt a gate at the tops and bottoms of stairs so he's safe from them and let him explore. Bolt cabinets to the wall so they won't topple. Give him a safe world to explore and praise his exploits, rather than confine him and tell him he's bad for exploring (even if you don't use the words, stopping him says the same thing).



YEp he might be tantruming - but he's only trying to communicate with you. He doesn't have the words yet - and likely won't until he's between 2 and 5 depending on whether you give him words or not. When our LO gets upset about something for instance she wants to climb the star is and we stop her and she cries - we'll say "Oh you wanted to climb the stairs?" and she'll stop crying b/c we UNDERSTOOD her and let her know it. Usually we say "Okay" and then let her climb as we follow behind her.



It sin't giving in - it's helping her communicate. It teaches her that her wants and needs are important we can wait the 5 minutes to do what we wanted so she can climb and feel proud of her accomplishment. By giving her a way to communicate it prevents future tantrums. Also by giving her what she wants when it isn't important - holding the phone, climbing the stairs by herself, mixing in the dish, pouring water etc we alsos et the stage for being able to say no later for when it does matter. The less you say no the easier it is for them to handle it when you do say no out of necessity.



So at dinner time if I really need to cook and there is no other option I'll give her a bit of dry rice to pour (the cheap stuff you can get in a HUGE bag for almost nothing) we give her some and a couple cups for pouring maybe a funnel and se t her up on the floor beside me. It's a pain to have the rice on the floor - but there's no crying, she's working with mommy, helping cook supper and a quick vacuum or swipe of the broom nd every things clean. Water does the same thing - keeps them busy beside you - I use water when my floors need washing - let her pour then grab towel when she's done a quick wipe, my floors clean, baby's happy,a nd towels just go in tot he wash.



Look at WHY he's crying and help him through that - give him what he we ants - he's young and needs to explore, he's young and needs to know you're there. Give him that.



Oh BTW I have a 13mos old, 3yr old and a 5yr old. OUr girls all had tantrums of sorts young, and they all stopped very early as well. I rarely say no so when I do they know they don't need to question it b/c I don't say it to keep my happy, but to keep them safe -a dn they know if I can make it safe for them I will. And they offer to help all the time. My oldest and my youngest both had dietary issues so they weren't growing and I was told they were healthy I was told not to worry - but my baby would have died had I not continued to question and insisted on figuring it out. In the end it was doing a dietary elimination challenge that allowed me to figure out what was wrong. My oldest has celiac's disease so can't have anything with gluten in it. My youngest also has celiac's but also has an allergy to tree nuts and corn. I'm assuming from what you've written that you use formula - if so Formula is typically gluten-free, but whatever solids you feed could have them - including most rice cereals. All formulas have corn, and most have dairy and/or soy. You said you gave him rice from 3 mos on - and he's been crying for that long. First rice cereal is really tough on the babies, and solids should never be started that early.but that can't be changed now - but it can provide some insight. If he's been having difficulties with digestion since birth, then it's that much harder for him to cope with the small upsets of his world.



In order to test for dietary issues you either have to do many types of blood work which can be traumatizing and could also cause him to have a harder time coping and thus more tantrums or you have to eliminate ALL sources from his diet.



You also said he's been on a schedule - depending on the baby this could be goo - or bad. It depends on what all is part of the schedule - and how his body reacts to schedules. As others have said checking into sensory processing disorder (SPD) could be a good idea. My oldest DD couldn't tolerate any type of schedule or trotting at all until she was almost 4 and even now she needs to have a lot of free time to decompress at her own level routines were just too much for her - chaos was more her speed.

[deleted account]

They did... a five hour long one but all the mothers with brains told her that was ridiculous and abusive!!!

Shawnn - posted on 03/26/2012

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Either that, or for one of us "older" or "more experienced" moms to say it's ok to leave your 3-7 month old baby screaming and crying alone because you simply cannot figure out what he wants?



So, Jodi, you can join Tracey, Kate, and myself in our little world! LOL

Jodi - posted on 03/26/2012

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I'm thinking she is wanting someone to say, yes, your baby is just plain naughty, so you should put your 7 month old in time out :\ Because, of course, 7 month old babies understand that....

Tracey - posted on 03/26/2012

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Yes, I feel like I've put entirely too much time into brainstorming and giving advice that's being ignored.

Jodi - posted on 03/26/2012

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I must admit, I am confused. Lots of advice has been given, but it doesn't seem to be what she is after.



But I agree with others, developmentally, there is no way he is doing this just to get his own way. Babies can't think like that cognitively. That's just a fact.

Dana - posted on 03/26/2012

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Okay so everyone has given you reasons as to why he's throwing "tantrums" you say that's not the reason...okay. So your 7 month old is throwing tantrums because he wants what he can't have.

So what IS your point?

Shawnn - posted on 03/26/2012

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Well, I'm going to quit following. It's quite obvious that people seriously believe that a 3-7 month old child will throw a temper tantrum because they "can't get what they want", instead of demanding that their child be tested for what really is the problem.



I cannot believe this! Ladies, no matter WHAT you'd like to think, babies that do NOT have verbal communication skills are NOT going to throw a fit because they can't have their favorite toy. Their COGNITIVE areas in their brains are not at that stage of development!



But, oh well, you do what you want, let 'em scream until you are crazy.



ETA: Kate, Tracey, you're welcome to join me!!! ;-)

Sylvia - posted on 03/26/2012

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Omg!! I totally understand. My son has the same tantrums and they started when he was around 6 or 7 months. He bends his back and kicks almost falling out of my arms. He hits, bites and pulls his hair. Its weird! Theres no reasoning with him either. He is now 11 months old and he still has them. I've tried EVERYTHING! It's frustrating but I do notice that he understands more. I'm hoping that he grows out of it. Till then he will be on the floor kicking and screaming. I don't know what else to do.

Danielle - posted on 03/26/2012

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i promis ther is nothing hurting him he only does it when he sees us and we wont pick him up or if we put him in hes walker and he cant reach stuff on the shelves he gets mad

Danielle - posted on 03/26/2012

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he goes to be at 9 wakes up at 2 for a bottle gets up for day at 7 30 than takes first nap at 10 tell 11 than goes down at 1 tell about 4 somtimes 5 he gets plenty of sleep and ive posted several times what makes him start its when he cant have somthing that he wants and i offer him lots of toys to destract him but it dont work

Natalie - posted on 03/26/2012

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Danielle I truly believe that there is a problem with his body or developmentally and you are doing well by him to take him to these appointments, to try and get to the bottom of his concerns. What your son is doing isn't a tantrum, it's extreme pain. If you are trying to hold him and he's slapping you and pulling your hair and screaming, couple that with arching his body and this behavior going on for longer than 10. Minutes that's pain. If there is a history of hernia and gastrointestinal problems in your families, then keep looking at that and seek therapies to improve his food processing ability. I hope and pray that very soon you will find the answers you need to be a happy family instead of a stressed and hurting one.

Colleen - posted on 03/26/2012

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first of all, let me reassure you. You are NOT a bad mom. These types of problems are really hard to deal with and emotionally draining. My heart goes out to you.



Your baby is not too young to consider that it might be a sensory issue. My sons both have sensory issues - one is hyposensitive and the other is hypersensitive. This isnt the same as hyperactive. my hypersensitive son wasnt diagnosed by an OT until he was in 2nd grade and that was only because I saw so much of his behavior on the questionnaires I was completing for my younger son.



Since he was 2 months old, he had certain things that would "set him off" like one part of music from Baby Einstein's Mozart video. He was very difficult to get to sleep at night . . . the Baby Whisperer" book was exactly what I needed to get him to go to sleep on his own. Then growing up, he would never keep his shoes on, his socks were always too bumpy, he didnt like tags in his shirts, and sometimes he would just melt down to the point where I did just have to close his bedroom door and let him "work it out" on his own. We did some OT and they taught us some exercises and techniques (simple enough for a baby) to help them neurologically. We still have more "screen time" (TV/Computer) than they recommend but it's okay and my boys still wont keep their shoes on and EVERY morning, I hear about "why are socks always so BUMPY!" Now I anticipate that after a party or a big outing, that my kids' "switches" will turn to crabby the moment we get home and now we have ways to deal with that.



All that to say that there are lots and lots of people who are in your same position. All states have an early identification program called ChildFind. They are the agency we had do our testing for our younger son. We took our older son to a private OT (occupational therapy) practice that was covered by our insurance.



I encourage you to have him tested - dont let your doc talk you out of it - mine tried to and until this day, I cannot understand why she would. There are great books by Carol Kranowitz called the "Out of Sync Child". She has a whole series of books. Look up Sensory Processing Disorder on the web and do a search on youtube for OT techniques. There are lots of videos on "brushing" which works amazingly well with my kids.



http://www.spdfoundation.net/



Best of all things to you . . . Colleen

Amanda - posted on 03/26/2012

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hey my name is amanda and i have a two year old and she has been throwing temper tantrums since she turned one. I do understand how you feel. Your child is only 7 months old so what i would do is just try and hold her or him and tell them u love them and try to give him or her as much attention as u can and maybe it will help. im not sure why its happening because i never had that problem but every child is different. just try that . i dont know what else to tell u but just let him or her know you love him. do u work ? If u do mybe the baby isnt seeing u that much because my two year old does that because i work everyday of the week but one and she is in daycare in the moring and by the time she's out im at work my mom watches her while i work so when i get home she has to go to bed so she isnt happy. hope i helped u .

Tracey - posted on 03/26/2012

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Just because he's having bowel movements and wet diapers doesn't mean that something might be amiss with his digestive system that is causing him pain. It may be painful for him to digest his food, and how is he supposed to tell you that? It takes many hours for one feeding to go through the digestive system, so he could be experiencing unending pain.



My own son is now 15, and he's always been pretty easy-going (but not my daughters!). But he had to have been at least 5 years old before he could tell me specifics on something that was wrong, and more like 12 or 13 before he could be really exact. And this is a kid that was talking well before 2 years old, and doing 4th grade math at age 4. It's just that he wasn't sure what "normal" for most people was in order to tell me something was wrong for himself. I myself didn't know that celery isn't supposed to make your mouth pucker until I was 32 and diagnosed with a food allergy to celery. I just thought the puckering was part of eating celery, like it is for lemons! That didn't mean I *liked* the experience of eating celery. I'd avoid it.



And I imagine if that instead of puckering my mouth, celery hurt it, it would have made me cry if I was a baby. And if all my food hurt me, I'd cry all the harder and longer. Your son can't say "My tummy hurts really bad all day long" in so many words. Or it might not be his tummy but something else in his body.



Some conditions can be really hard to find (or I would have known before age 32 about celery and the 4 other foods I'm allergic to). If you keep telling yourself "it's tantrums" you may be missing other symptoms that would help a doctor make a good diagnosis.

Catherine - posted on 03/26/2012

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Danielle



Take a look at this line (BABY COLIC) ON WIKIPEDIA



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_colic



And take a took at the "RED FLAG SYMPTOMS) there are several there that you've described eg: high pitched screaming, poor weight gain, crying all day with few calm periods).



I'm sorry but I have to disagree that 7 month old babies have tantrums. They have needs not tantrums and crying is the only way they can communicate with us.



My son had reflux as a baby and once that was sorted he calmed down. He was also a very hungry baby and I had to change the milk I gave him to a brand for "hungrier babies". He's 18 now and is still always hungry (LOL) - eats me out of house and home actually.



It will get better once you've get the correct medical intervention and maybe it may be a good idea to get some help for yourself too or you'll end up exhausted and ill yourself.



Have you got anyone who can help you like the babies Nana or maybe an Aunty who could give you a break now and again for some "YOU TIME".



Also remember, Doctors are not always right, and if what you said about the Doctor walking out of the room because of the noise your baby was making then she's not a very good one. Change to a new G.P. In fact next time this happens take you baby to the Casualty Department at your local Hospital where maybe you'll get the help you desperately need

Catherine - posted on 03/26/2012

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Heather, He's 7 months old for God's sake how can she talk to him about what is upsetting him? I'm sure if the little chap could talk he'd tell his mummy what's wrong.

Dorothy - posted on 03/25/2012

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Danielle, I read through your posts, but not all the other PPs, before responding, so please bare with me if I'm repeating advice...



At 7 months a whole lot of things can be going on. It's possible that this IS a tantrum. However, ever even really advanced babies often usually have tantrums until after a year. So it's possible, but, unlikely. Almost from birth infants understand alone. It's instinct if you aren't with the big people you can be more easily eaten. So doing whatever they can to get back to safety, aka screaming is also instinct.



From birth to about a year my son would scream when alone, alone defined by Matthew as not within reach of an adult human, 90% of the time, like your son he didn't stop until he go what he wanted/needed. It sometimes worked to distract him before I had to leave to cook, clean or potty. Usually not long enough to finish what I was doing, but, for me screaming was easier to bare if I'd already started my task.



I held him a lot. It was frustrating and I often felt trapped, but, the screaming meant he needed the comfort and so I did it. It helped to have a baby carrier. By 4 months, I could wear him on my back and cook, clean do dishes, basically everything but potty.



The very best thing I ever bought was a jumperoo when he was 6 months. Even after he started walking he loved it, I really kicked myself for not getting one sooner. It got to the point where I put him in there and could shower without a single tear, especially if I had Dora or Diego on the TV. I was genuinely sad when he out grew it at 13 months.



I know you don't think it is reflux, but, it COULD be reflux. Sometimes reflux only has the heartburn as a symptom. A 7 month old isn't going to say, "Mama, my tummy hurts." He will be extra fussy and difficult. The same with allergies. I have food allergies. Some of them my only symptom is a pain in my chest from the allergic reaction. The 1st time it happened I had no idea what was going on. The next time I realized it might be an allergy and took a benedryl. But a 7 month old can't ask for benedryl, he can only cry and be fussy.



It is also possible that it is some sort of disorder. If you are thinking that may be it, start fighting for recognition and help now. My friends little girl is autistic. At 7 months my friend knew there was something wrong and started demanding that her ped take notice. She did this because she needed answers and because he kept brushing her off. Her fighting paid off though. By 1 she had early intervention for her delays. At 2 her dx was a severe form of autism and they told her not to expect her to speak. At 5 she is in main stream kindergarten and her doctors now think she will have a fully normal life. She is fully verbal and they expect that in a couple years she may not even need a class room aide. Not saying your kid has autism, just saying that it could be a disorder and if you think it is then fighting for early treatment is something you will need to do.



While I wouldn't recommend leaving him for a long time to cry, it is sometimes the way to go even if just for a few minutes to collect yourself. if he is a loud constantly screaming baby, take him out anyway. I wouldn't take him out to eat at a restaurant, but walking the neighborhood might make you fell better, even if he cries the whole time. Trust me as long as you aren't doing this all day long the rest of the world can and will deal. If you're a church goer take him there too. It was and is about the only place a simple stand up in the back stops my kid's crying. Also,as the priest told my mom when she tried to apologize for my sister's crying the whole time, "if she can't cry in her Father's house where can she cry?"

Billi Leslie - posted on 03/25/2012

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I would get him checked for food allergies. One of my twins did the same kind of thing starting at about 3 months. We sometimes put her in a room till she cried herself to sleep because it was hard for us to deal with. We didn't know she had food allergies because it didn't make her visibly sick. Now we know she is lactose intolerant and gluten intolerant. (Slightly different than an allergy.) She also doesn't handle sugar well but is not diabetic. I'm guessing you started him on solid foods at 3 months. Watch what you feed him and see how he behaves. Some kids are just more sensitive to the foods they eat. Good Luck!

[deleted account]

3 month olds also don't have wants. They are quite 'simple' at that age and their wants... are their NEEDS.



Oops... I've started again. Stop me now!

Kate CP - posted on 03/25/2012

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A three month old baby that holds their breath is having a seizure. The fact that your daughter's son is now doing it says that it's hereditary and should see a specialist. 3 month old infants DO NOT throw a tantrum to get what they want. THEY. CAN'T. TALK.



I'll say it again REALLY slow so y'all can understand this...



THREE...

MONTH...

OLD...

INFANTS...

CAN'T...

TALK!!!!!!!

Judy - posted on 03/25/2012

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To Donna Brown



I'm sorry but young children do indeed throw tantrums. They have real emotions and when they don't get what they want they try all means to get it. I know, my 3 month old daughter did it to me in 1981 so it is nothing new you need to do a little more research before you utter words you know nothing about ...

Judy - posted on 03/25/2012

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My daughter threw a tantrum and held her breathe till she turned blue, she was only 3 months old at the time Now that she is a mom her son just did the same thing to her. I think now that I see things from the bleachers so to speak they are trying out their emotions. The only thing I can suggest is to distract them with something they may like more than the fit.... I am sorry but some times bribery or distraction works. When you can't reason with them.

From a Mom and then some lol. Good luck

Donna - posted on 03/25/2012

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Wow, sounds like you give in a lot more than you don't. Can't really tell because I am unable to wade through all the responses you may have given to people responding to your post. I think you should have him checked out for colic because I cannot, for the life of me, imagine that a 7 month old throws tantrums. I'm befuddled by your request for help and it sounds like the pediatrician is an idiot. I would not allow my child's pediatrician to tell me, 'Yup, your 7 month old is throwing tantrums, alright!' That's just asinine (stupid) and lazy on the part of your child's pediatrician. He/She needs to go back to medical school and learn how to take care of the elderly, not infants, toddlers and small children. He/She obviously is not a parent and has no idea what to do beyond checking the diaper, ears and mouth. For shame, for shame. I would find another pediatrician and right away!

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