A strange kind of poverty and smoking.

Mandatoryink - posted on 01/18/2013 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been living in poverty since we have been married. (A little over four years ago) I got pregnant with my son about 9 months into our marriage. Then, we relied on welfare to take care of him and still struggled greatly. And yes we were those filthy, despicable people that smoked and were on welfare. I'm sure you have read at least one of those lovely post about people spending money on booze, drugs, tattoos, and cigarettes and still relying on welfare to take care of their children. Yes, please group me in with the worthless, drug addicted, and alcoholic parents because I have an addiction to smoking cigarettes. Yes, I am aware of how much it costs over time. If I and my husband never started I probably would have never had lack of money issues and we would have never had to be on welfare. It is because of the smoking that we struggled so much. We are not on welfare any more. My husband has a great job. A job that enables us for the first time to pay are bills- almost always on time. But we barely have money for household expenses and absolutely nothing else.
I'm sure everyone's answer is quit smoking.... It's mine too. But its not that simple. I would love for it be that simple. We spend 80 dollars a WEEK on cigarettes.
But I know what it takes to be able to quit. You have to want to. And as most of myself wants too. The part that matters does not. I don't want the smell and the unfavorable health issues for my son or my husband and I. I would like to feel like I have my head above water financially for the first time in a decade. I would like the house to be cleaner and fresher as a result. But it all comes down to one thing. HIGH ANXIETY. I already have issues with that. If I quit smoking.... I think I might kill something. I don not want to be an uncontrollable, ranting, raving lunatic more than I already am.
I have been smoking since I was 17. I am almost 27. My husband started in his late 20s and is now in his mid 30s. I smoke about a pack a day and he nearly 2. That is nearly 15 dollars a DAY! And yes it is disgusting.
My mother thinks I shouldn't worry about smoking well I am under so much stress. Well- mothers are not always right. (She is also the one that bought me a carton of cigarettes after I quit when I was 20) Because ONE- I cant remember- not even as a child- not feeling stress. And TWO- If I (at least) quit- that would be 40 dollars a week and at least 160 a month. That would solve a LOT of financial problems. If we both quit- 320 dollars a month! would be saved. (At least!) The question is where to start. And I dont mean all those little "helpful websites and crap". I want a REAL answer. From a person who has done it under an incredible amount of stress. Because the stress is here to stay. I know that. I have NEVER been able to get rid of it.

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Firebird - posted on 01/18/2013

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I have tried and failed to quit smoking 6 times in the last 6 years. Maybe I'll try again someday, but for now, I have simply cut back on how much I smoke. I do not smoke in my house or any vehicle (no one ever should - it's a horrible thing to do with kids around) so that helps reduce how often I go out for a smoke. Even in the winter I smoke outside. Coincidentally, I also smoke less during the freezing winter months. I developed the habit of only smoking half a cigarette at a time.

When I start getting that slight urge to smoke, I put on a song and insist on waiting until it ends before I go smoke, which often leads to another song and another, so before I know it 20 minutes has passed. By these few simple adjustments, I am down to less than half a pack per day. I only spend about $30 per week on cigarettes.

Dove - posted on 01/18/2013

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Have you ever gone to counseling to learn coping techniques for your stress?

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Mandatoryink - posted on 01/23/2013

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I just wish I could get my husband to smoke outside. But I think it would be very difficult to do. He smokes while he plays his MMORPG and the computer used to be in the far back room- but now its in the living room- so even worse than before.

Lacye - posted on 01/19/2013

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While it is hard to quit, it's a lot easier if you try to slow down. Make a rule for you and your hubby. No smoking inside. You would not believe how much less you will smoke if you refuse to smoke inside. Not only that, but it would be better on your family's health. Do not smoke in your vehicle. Wait until you get to where you are going before you light up.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but it really is a lot. I went from smoking a little more than a pack a day to about less than 5 a day, depending on how I'm feeling on a particular day.

Crystal - posted on 01/19/2013

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have you tried chantex(i think thats how you spell it) ? my husband was a pack a day man but he started this and with in a week he quit. you have to go to a doctor to get it but i know 3 or 4 people that have tried this and it helped them.

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2013

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I quit in October last year after smoking for over 20 years.

I highly recommend the book Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking. He himself was a 100 a day smoker and he just stopped. Once you understand what's in the book you won't want to keep smoking. You also are encouraged to keep smoking while reading it.

Cecilia - posted on 01/18/2013

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as far as not keeping a diary, maybe look into private blogging. penzu is fully private. Mydiary is open to other members to read if you want it to be. both are free.

Cecilia - posted on 01/18/2013

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I also only smoke outside. It does really change how much you'll smoke. It's 10F right now outside and as much as i might want one right now, not willing to put on full winter gear to get one lol.

Other than that, i do roll my own cigarettes. no, not the lil joint looking things. They sell machines(the better ones run about $45) you put the tobacco in the top, the tube on the side and pull a lever. It takes me 5 minutes to make a pack. In New York it's $10 a pack in a store. By making them it cost me about $10 a carton. Find a smoke shop near you and look into it. Most will let you test different tobaccos to find the one you like. They even have menthol tobacco and menthol tubes. Super duper menthol!!

Mandatoryink - posted on 01/18/2013

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Thank you for replying and trying to help. That is very kind of you. And is much appreciated, Most of all the bitching I am doing online- Isn't really for a solution. I feel I have exhausted all efforts. But I haven't given up. It just helps to write it all out. A venting session. I don't dare write a diary... My husband would read it and it would only effect him and us negatively.

Mandatoryink - posted on 01/18/2013

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I actually was in counseling....three moves ago.... and the funny thing is... I already know all those techniques... I was in school to be a counselor... how ironic. I would love to continue to go to counseling. But unfortunately, unless a magic fairy is going to beam my to my appointments and babysit my son... it is no longer an option for me. As much as it is needed. And family members are too busy for me to rely on to take me to regular appointments.

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