about the toddler putting away the beer

Pam - posted on 01/28/2010

Wow! So many comments over so little. Here are funny stories instead.

My son knew what a beer was because his dad drank the occasional one. Of course he wasn't allowed any as a toddler. When he was about 1 1/2 we went to a restaurant, and he saw a can on a tray (possibly soda) being delivered on the opposite side of the restaurant and yelled at full volume, "BEER! MY Beer!"--who knows why. Naturally the other patrons thought we were delinquent parents, but you just never know what an impulsive, hyperactive child will say or do.

He also used to run after the pizza delivery people into other folks' homes yelling "PIZZA! MY Pizza!" and we'd have to run and grab him, Still not sure how he sensed they were in the parking lot when we were inside. We put a flip lock near the top of the front door to keep him from running outside into the street after that.

We let our kids taste beer & wine in elementary school, which took the mystery out of it (and they thought it was ICKY and never asked for any again). Neither of my kids drinks--their choice--but both know how to taste wine and judge it and pair it with food, having learned the finer points from a very knowledgeable French friend. If kids learn to drink because they can savor it vs. drinking to get drunk, they will respect alcohol, not abuse it.

In elementary school and scouting, the don't drink/use drugs/smoke messages were so powerful that both my kids would admonish us with, "Is that ALCHOHOL??!!" when we'd have a drink, and would openly chastise smokers (including the Pres. of my company when I wasn't looking). My daughter pointed to one lady smoking and said, "I guess SHE doesn't want to see her grandchildren grow up!" The messages DO get through, and your family values will sink in the strongest.

BTW, The price of my taking a shower with my ADHD tot was letting him open the tampon box, the tampon wrappers and launch the tampons like missiles. It kept him out of trouble and happy long enough so I could bathe (while keeping an eye on him through a clear shower curtain). It also kept him away from the plumbing, which I'm sure he could have dismantled in 10 seconds if he put his mind to it.

My son was a very curious toddler and very smart and strong (and my daughter followed right along after him), so we had locks on the oven (he'd open it, stand on the door & climb onto the range), fridge (he'd empty the entire contents onto the floor), toilets (a mini pool in the house!), and different locks on every cabinet, It slowed him down enough that we could keep him out of harm's way. We also hid keys to the inside lockable doors on top of nearly all the door frames to keep our kids from locking themselves in.(occasionally changing which doors to keep them guessing).

Both kids were extremely challenging and kept us on our toes constantly as youngsters, but both grew up to be extremely responsible, wonderful, caring, smart people.

Katherine - posted on 01/28/2010

The people who made the attacks know who they are and no Laura it wasn't you.

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2010

I wasn't going to post on this one until Beck accused people of being irresponsilbe. If you want to keep your child locked in a bubble and not give him experiences and teach him properly about everything life has to offer (good and bad) then so be it, but i guarentee that your child will be the one to rebel and become the raging alcoholic. Were talking about toddlers helping mommy with the groceries, its a game to them thats fun and they will grow up to want to help around the house.

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

I'm sorry...were there personal attacks? If I made one, I didn't know it

Katherine - posted on 01/28/2010

I am saying right now if there are ANY more personal attacks this thread is getting locked and whoever was the catalyst is getting a 24 hour block. I will not tolerate any more attacks.

Krista - posted on 01/28/2010

Don't make Dana turn this thread around! We won't get any ice cream!

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

Hi Dana
This is fun! :D

Erin - posted on 01/28/2010

i prefure to pay attention and watch my children, know what they are doing rather then just hide everything and hope for the best.

Dana - posted on 01/28/2010

Let's keep it cool ladies ~ Dana WtCoM Moderator

Krista - posted on 01/28/2010

"Be more specific, I said alcohol where a child can get to it. I believe that is irresponsible."

Okay, I see what you're saying there. Obviously you're not going to keep your tequila and gin in a lower cupboard and let your toddler run around the kitchen unsupervised, because yes, something COULD happen. And nobody here is advocating letting a toddler take off and hide somewhere with a 6-pack.

But supervised exposure to alcohol is a different matter. The OP was talking about the mom unloading groceries and getting the kid to put the beer in the fridge, not the mom unloading groceries and leaving the beer on the floor for the toddler, and then taking off to go have a shower or something. So under those circumstances, no, the OP should not say anything to her friends -- it's not her place.

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

and NO...they don't see the danger of table corners...until they bump into one

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

except for the fact that (due to the fact that they have 4 times the taste buds that we do, an evolutionary feature for the young to avoid poisons) alcohol TASTES LIKE CRAP to them. I have never known a child who got a taste of alcohol to want more.

Beck - posted on 01/28/2010

My sons can see the dangers of walking into tables, so they wouldnt go and attempt it. your kids can not see the dangers of drinking aparently they cant even tell the differance between that and their soda its funny how one minute, they can then the next they cant.

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

I don't think anybody here has advocated letting your child drink.

Beck - posted on 01/28/2010

BTW you dont have to be a smoker and smokes cigaretts to teach your children not to smoke! You dont have to buy a pack and "let them try" to teach them about their options, funny you think you do for alcohol though. Here there are enough ads about the dangers of both for my son to see that its an option, but a pretty crap one if you go against everything you see.

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

alcohol in the fridge is no different than a coffee table with no cushions on the corners

Beck - posted on 01/28/2010

Be more specific, I said alcohol where a child can get to it. I believe that is irresponsible.

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

I disagree...from birth we are preparing our children for the world they are to inhabit! The sooner they start their education, the better

Beck - posted on 01/28/2010

lmfao, 3 year olds shouldnt be out in the real world, so why bring it to them at that age, you see, I teach and prevent. While my children are too young to understand, I prevent, as they understand more, I teach. Best of both worlds.

Johnny - posted on 01/28/2010

This thread is bringing tears to my eyes. This is all too funny.

When I was a kid, I used to love getting to pour my dad a beer. He wasn't a big drinker, maybe one or two on weekends, so it was lots of fun. I knew it was for adults. I asked to taste it once and he let me. I didn't have beer again until I was at least 22 ( And the drinking age where I live is 19) When I was 16, a friend gave me a case of beer, I stowed it under my bed and my mom found it years later after I'd moved out and she was getting rid of some furniture. That is about how much I liked it.

When you keep things as forbidden fruit, and hide the truth from kids, they are sooo much more likely to seek out those things.

We let our daughter put the beer in the fridge. She's 18 months, and like Mary said, she doesn't know the difference between a can of beer and a can of soup. We also keep a lock on our fridge, because she likes to open it and steal the balsamic salad dressing (nasty carpet stains!) while I'm busy slicing raw chicken or something like that.

I plan to be very open with my child on the realities of alcohol use, drug use, cigarette smoking, etc. I want her to understand what responsibility is all about, not shield her from reality. I don't think hiding things from her will be of any benefit to her moral growth. Ignorance does not produce a strong moral compass. One can not claim to make wise decisions if they don't even know what the options really are.

This thread is a great reminder to me of how seriously uptight some people are, yikes!!

Krista - posted on 01/28/2010

I'm not quite sure I appreciate your implication that "I don't care". I'm going to be charitable and assume that you mean that I don't care if my child puts a can of beer in the fridge or fetches one out for Daddy, NOT that you mean that I don't care whether or not my child actually DRINKS. At any rate, you're obviously very, very anti-alcohol, and that's your prerogative. But if you think that alcohol in the home = irresponsible parents, then I'm going to have to say that you're flat-out wrong on that one.

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

I think that, in the last few posts, we've actually come to the REAL question of the day (and also uncovered two more COM camps) Are you the type of parent that baby-proofs your house, or are you the type that house-proofs your baby?

While of course, like every other two-camp debate there are ALWAYS shades of gray...my gray leans a little towards the house-proofing the baby scenario. Obviously, those on the other side find this irresponsible...but I think it's irresponsible to bubble wrap your baby...the world is NOT safe.

Keeping them in a cocoon does NOT prepare them for the real world.

Erin - posted on 01/28/2010

not allowing them to put it away is going to make them more curious, my kids will get a beer out of the fridge and hand it to daddy, they will also breing my bottles of milk for thier baby sister. in both cases they know the drink is not for them and they don't drink it. as far as them popping one open and having a drink, i can barley open a screw off and i find the pop offs even harder so i'm pretty sure my girls can't get into them

Charlie - posted on 01/28/2010

Geez i cannot believe this thread , ridiculous to say the least.

Brandi - posted on 01/28/2010

My uncle and aunt had a kegorator in their daughter's bedroom closet when she was an infant. My uncle is an OCCASIONAL drinker (beer is cheaper when purchased by the keg) and preferred his beer that way. When she became old enough (around 4) she was drawing his beer FOR HIM. She is now 27 years old, NOT an alcoholic, and understood ALL thru her childhood years that beer is for ADULTS. She never got drunk off her dad's beer. My husband is an occasional drinker as well and yes our daughter will run to the fridge to get daddy a beer before the football game or whatever, But she DOES know that beer is "yucky" and it's for grown-ups. She also watches TONS of the food network and EVERY time they make a drink (alcoholic or not) she listens carefully to the ingredients. If they say rum, gin, or any other alcohol, she knows it isn't for kids (it isn't something she has ever been offered to have, so she assumes it's for adults) She often looks at me and says "if we don't put the rum in, that drink is for kids" So I think if parents are teaching their kids what things are off limits for them and why, there should be NO problem with a child putting the beer in the fridge (you would let them put the soda away wouldn't you and most kids shouldn't be drinking soda either).

Krista - posted on 01/28/2010

For the love of little green apples, Beck. It's just a beer. The way you're putting it, you'd think that every single kid who ever saw a beer became a raging alcoholic.

There's a very, very long leap between holding a beer can and becoming a binge drinker, and the fact that you even make that connection boggles the mind. Cripes, if handling beer made people want to drink it, every single bartender, brewery employee, liquor store employee, and waiter would be dead by now.

And this? "Underage drinking would be impossible if it wasn't for irresponsible parents"? That's one of the most ludicrous things I've read on here. In the U.S., the legal drinking age is 21, and most people are living AWAY from their parents well before then. So if someone gets blitzed at age 19, is it because of irresponsible parents? Come on. I mean, seriously.

I swear, I think some of you on here look at a can of beer as though it's a loaded gun.

Ann Annette - posted on 01/28/2010

Generally, when you purchase wine, beer, liquor and if you happen to have a child with you...they can not touch, handle any alcohol. It's the law. Therefor, they wouldn't be then allowed to put away the "beer". It is usually best to keep kids separate from adult indulgences.

Kate CP - posted on 01/28/2010

I leave my steak knives in a drawer with the rest of my utensils which happens to be where my daughter can reach them. She helps us put away dishes and set the table. But, I have taught my daughter to respect knives and scissors and she never plays with them. My daughter also knows not to reach into the fridge when I open it because I may accidentally trip over her or drop something on her. She has seen me drink wine, seen her other family members consume alcohol and she could really care less. When she does get old enough to get curious I have no problem explaining to her what alcohol is and maybe even letting her try a little bit (like dipping my finger in whiskey and letting her taste it). That would probably be enough to keep her from wanting to try any more of it.



Americans are funny creatures when it comes to alcohol. There are (approximately) over 16 million alcoholics in the US and our drinking age is 21. In Germany (where they are well known for making beer) there are approximately 4+ million alcoholics and they have a legal drinking age of 16 (18 for distilled beverages, 14 with parents). The US makes alcohol such a big stinkin' deal that by the time kids are legally able to purchase and drink alcohol they do so in such excess that it makes many college kids sick. According to MSNBC studies have linked alcohol to 75,000 deaths per year in the US (that's overdoses, traffic accidents, homicides, suicides, and other drinking-induced diseases). Maybe if the US could take a chill pill and realize that by making something SO taboo it makes it more appealing then we could actually fix the massive problem we obviously have with alcohol.

Andrea - posted on 01/28/2010

I don't think it's a big deal to let kids help put away beer, however, a person doesn't need to be a parent to have more common sense than some other parents. I am a mother, but before I was, I saw a lot of parents doing very questionable things with their kids. I didn't have to be a mom to know that! So because she isn't a mother (yet) doesn't mean she can't form an opinion about the subject.

Kelly - posted on 01/28/2010

I can understand the concern of not wanting a child to handle beer, but to me that would carry over to not wanting the child to see us consume beer, or have it in our house, period. And that is why we don't drink (used to drink some, now we have kids, just seemed to grow out of it I guess). However, if beer is an accepted part of your household and you honestly don't mind your children being exposed to drinking, then to me it is no different than any other groceries. I never let my kids drink soft drinks as children, except for very special occasions, but they were certainly allowed to put them away in the fridge. Kids like to help put things away. My biggest concern with the refridgerator has always been that a small one could somehow climb inside and shut the door (probably sounds irrational LOL) so I always kept a close eye on them when the door was open for that reason. Never even considered that they would get into something harmful in there.

Beck - posted on 01/28/2010

So when they are old enough to open them, are you still going to get them to get them for you?

Sharon - posted on 01/28/2010

This post makes me want to break out the cuervo, lime & salt to put on an exhibition for the kids. REALLY people? Putting a can in the fridge is THIS big a deal?



I gotta give you props though... I've been laughing/chortling/giggling about this thread for over a day now.



Its not even on par with having your kids in your crack cooking kitchen or having them help parcel out dime bags.



FYI - I don't drink. I don't drink beer or hard liqours. I have a 4 pack of wine coolers that typically lasts me 6 months or longer - sometimes less. and I have no issues with asking one of my kids to please get me one from the fridge. Its not like I use their teeth as bottle openers.

Julie - posted on 01/28/2010

I dont think that anything that can be considered a "vice" is cute just cause your baby is cute. Like that stupid woman who taught her 2 year old to light her cigs. That screams white trailer trash. You want your kid to do adult things as a mini me, do something really cute and GOOD like my daughter reads very seriously lol. she also packs her little purse and tucks in her babies. pats them on the back and everything. The day my kid hands us a beer or cig, is the day Mommy starts swatting her butt!

Sharon - posted on 01/28/2010

rotfl!!!



nah - those kids would be standing around holding the beer in just a diaper with their other hand stuck in the waist band saying "so? whatcha gonna do about it? Change me now 'cause I wet myself."

Beck - posted on 01/28/2010

Sharon, when I was younger, I was a very shy I knew I may get into trouble for things and my mother raised 6 children all of which are responcible adults now. However, at at point, my Mother had a wine cask in the fridge, she rarely drank and it had been left in there after entertaining guests. I was about 6-7. This adult only drink which they would drink in a fancy glass only for adults, caused me curiosity. I KNEW i would get in trouble if caught. It was there though and at this age no fridge lock was good enough to stop me entering the fridge on my own. Fact is I could get to it. So I did, and it is for that reason I disagree with storing alcohol in a mannor which children can gain access. Along side of medicine, or any other dangerous objects. When my son worked out the lock on the utensil draw, I immediately removed the knives from the draw and stored them up high. Glass bottles are stored at the back of my fridge out of direct reach for when I open the fridge and my son attempts to take items out, I have the chance to stop him. While I wouldn't tell another parent what to do, I'd be curious as to why they think their children are invincible. Irrespoisible parents are everywhere and luck plays a part in their childs well being, doent make it right though. Still I wouldnt bother saying it to another Mother, because she obveiously doent care enough in the first place.

Kate CP - posted on 01/28/2010

Okay, I have a mental image of a bunch of kids in nothing but a t-shirt and diaper sitting in a circle. One of them stands up and says "Hi, my name is Timmy and my Mommy says I'm an Al-ker-hol-ic."

The mental images I get are rather entertaining...

Sharon - posted on 01/28/2010

I find the levels of idiocy - FUNNY as hell.



We put raw meat in the fridge. None of my kids ever ransacked the steaks.



It boggles me that this even an issue. Kids put raw eggs in the fridge. When is the last time any of you caught your toddler laying out on the carpet munching on eggshells?



My husband drinks beer, soda and occasionally smokes a cigar. My kids have fetched sodas for him from the fridge for over 10 years and he hates soda.



Soda and beer belong to dad, the same way eclairs and apple turnovers belong to mom and my kids are smart enough to not touch any of them.



I'm curious as to how disobedient all of the children on this forum are that you have to worry about 2 yr olds sneaking beer out of the fridge?

Rebecca - posted on 01/28/2010

you're still checking so you must be interested too lol

Isobel - posted on 01/28/2010

Are you guys really still up to this??? Really???

Rebecca - posted on 01/28/2010

Ok so i came up with a question to the person who started this conversation, what would you actually say to someone if you saw this happen? Word for word. i;m really curious what you would say.
This question has possessed me to write a question of my own i need some help with...
If i saw a kid running with scissors do i say something or let them do.
If my toddler found our condoms do i show him what it's for?
These are both stupid questions and we all know the answers. Think before you ask such a stupid question please. And i'm very curious to know what you would say so please respond.

September - posted on 01/28/2010

What the heck was the point of this thread? Wow!

Ashley=) - posted on 01/28/2010

its the last thing i would be worried about if i saw a child putting the beer away.there's more important things to be worried about believe me when you become a mother you will know&there will be things you do as a mother that others will think the same about as you do about this child putting the beer away.best of luck to you.:)

Amber - posted on 01/28/2010

WOW!!! where the heck did the conversation come from! i think that this was taken way out of bounds! LOL first of all why was this a consern for you?? was it just a pet-peeve you wanted to get out in the open?? i don't think it is an issue for children to help their parents put groceries away. even if it is beer... you are the parent and you should teach your child that they can help but some things are just for grown-ups. chances are MOST of the time kids are just happy to help and don't usually question what it is they are putting away. they are just happy to be doing something with you and making you happy. my opinion is to not worry so much about LITTLE things. we helped but my dad's beer away and even went to get him one and i now that i'm older i could care less if i have a drink or not. chill out and life will be less stressful for you.....

JL - posted on 01/28/2010

I cannot even believe this is a real thread and that it is causing such HUGE issues.



I let my 2 year old son help me put away groceries the other day and he carried the toilet paper and my sanitary napkins to my bathrooom...OH NO, does that mean he is going to have IBS and be a sex feen.

Nancy - posted on 01/28/2010

lol Mary!

Nancy - posted on 01/28/2010

ok... i wasnt going to reply, but now I just cant help adding my two cents. I have a toddler, he loves to help with everything! He puts groceries away, brings me the phone when it's ringing, folds laundry... etc etc.

Toddlers dont know the difference between a bottle of juice and a bottle of fabric softener, he doesnt drink anything without my permission or my help. He puts the paper products away too, anything to help mommy, .... just because he's handling a package of female sanitary products doesnt mean I'm exposing him to sex any more than him touching a soda can or can of beer means he's going to drink it. I have wine in my fridge, I cook with it... he helps me with putting dishes away too but he knows he isnt allowed to touch the stove to use the pots and pans. This is ridiculous. and honestly makes no sense. My parents both smoked and neither one of us smoke... my dad drinks beer and I cant stand beer... my mom worked at a Anheuser busch and she doesnt drink beer... just because someone sees something doesnt make them want it.. that's not how human brain chemistry works.

Mary - posted on 01/28/2010

I have to say, I think this is one of the silliest, most ridiculous threads I've read on here in a while....quite the accomplishment, considering the competition!!

My question to you is this....are we talking about an exceptionally brilliant toddler?? He must be , to be able to differentiate between a bottle of beer and a bottle of say...lemon juice or soda! Perhaps these parents had a great amount of success with that "My Baby Can Read" (and comprehend) program? My 14 month old toddler loves to play with the stuff I'm putting away in the fridge and pantry. I guess she's a bit on the slow side, since I'm pretty sure she has no friggin clue if what she's rolling around is a can of beer or chicken noodle soup. Probably because we let her suck on a cold empty bottle of Miller Lite when she's teething....

Iridescent - posted on 01/28/2010

And in addition, my 10 and 8 year olds still don't help themselves to anything in the fridge without asking. Not even juice, not even candy THEY bought. They know they need to ask permission at an appropriate time (like not just before supper) and if their behavior has been appropriate they will generally get what they want.

Beer was never a big deal in our household. We aren't a bunch of alcoholics. We have a bottle or two around, but generally they expire and get replaced. We cook with wine and brandy for the WHOLE family! And I see nothing wrong with it. It's when people make it a big deal, like a rite of passage once you turn 21, that it becomes one. Here, it's just part of life, no better or worse than anything else. And like anything else, too much is going to make you sick (ever have too much cake or candy?).

Iridescent - posted on 01/28/2010

I have to say I find this funny. My daughter can't have protein. We buy a lot of foods with protein. In fact, we have 2 other children that require high protein foods because they are recovering from neglect still. They each have a different meal at supper some nights. Yes, they sometimes cry that they want the others'. No, we are not going to give in, because it would cause death in each of them if we did.

With that background, do you think I'm not going to allow my child to help put away groceries because she can't eat them? Cheese is a huge danger for her, however, if she wanted beer, she could safely have that within reason. So is it wrong for me to have her help put cheese or ice cream away? How about the others helping put away protein free foods that they can't have, like her formula, or medical foods? Those would hurt them, too. But the ability to help and the pride it causes is huge, even when they can't eat it!

And further, how about toy foods? They don't make toy beer that I'm aware of, but they certainly do make toy chicken, chips, cheese, fruits, vegetables. My daughter that can't eat most of those plays with them just like the others. Are you saying I have to stop her? I really think some people should think beyond the label on the container and more to the time being spent with their child and the skills learned from helping.

Sarah - posted on 01/28/2010

Maggie and Rebecca, You don't know that she is pregnant in that picture. Maybe it's a year old?! I have previous pictures of me smoking, obviously taken before I was pregnant. I have never smoked a cigarette in front of my daughter, or smoked while pregnant. And as for age... please don't judge. I was 20, and unmarried when I got pregnant with my daughter. Now I am married, and we have number 2 on the way!



Getting to the topic, I don't see any problem with the beer thing (unless it's glass bottles). My husband and I drink casually at home (of course I don't now that I am pregnant with our second). A beer or a glass of wine with dinner. We both grew up around casual drinking, and see no problem with it. Since I grew up around it, my thoughts are, maybe if your kids do see it, and see that IN MODERATION it is ok, not forbidden, you won't have the rebelious alcoholic teen!!?? Just my thoughts!