abusive partner

Tracie - posted on 02/04/2010

Angela, everyone seems to think that you need to get out of there and fast! I agree! I don't know you, but I have attended a great Bible Study geared towards women of domestic violence. It has done a world of good. I would strongly encourage you to find one in your area. go to www.armsonline.org and you can find a place local to you. Please know that I will be praying for you to make the right decision. Abuse is NEVER right!

Caroline - posted on 02/04/2010

sweetheart NEVER put a child in this environment. if u cant do it for you do it for your son. report the violance and concern for your son after you have left. make sure u have plenty of support and LEAVE. if he wants to get help after you have left then go from their but always have support from friends family and services and never meet him alone or with your son....use friends etc to watch out for you so he never has the upper hand. u can always meet in public places and friends watch from a distance so he cant see, but never trust his words...once u leave he may become even more volatile. and always report every meet and every abusive thing.



i know its hard to get out of the situation but your son is priority.



i am sorry you have to deal with this. u are reaching out so you know its time to react.



goodluck and help is always there.



u wont have to let him be with your son unsupervised you can set it up with services etc especially if u report his previous behaviour. NEVER SETTLE FOR THIS YOU ARE BETTER AND YOUR SON CANT SEE THIS! best wishes. lol. xxx

Ailsa - posted on 02/04/2010

i was in an abusive relationship with my ex partner who has being passed away now for several years, (thank god) i left him for a decent, kind and loving man. My advised too you is that you make that police report if it happens again too show him that it's not on, if u need too supervise the visit from a distance and if he does anything too hurt his own child take photos of it report it too the police and have a restraining order out on him that way he can't come within so many metres, no child needs too see that as it tells them that it's ok when it's not

Susan - posted on 02/03/2010

Shame on you for staying and putting an innocent child in the middle of all this. As a child of an abusive father, much like you are stating above, I harbor a lot of resentment as an adult towards my MOTHER for not protecting me. I love her sure, and she is a great grandmother, but there will always be that elephant in the room between us. It is your job as a MOTHER to get your child out of that situation at whatever the cost. Take advantage of whatever family you have or social services, friends... whatever it takes. And why haven't you filed any police reports? You'll need a paper trail in order to demonstrate to the courts that your husband have only supervised visitation with his son. This isn't about you anymore, this is about your boy. We had police come to our home and my mother never went through with filing a report. If she had, it may have been the push my father needed. Who knows. At least it may have gotten us kids out of there and saved us from dealing with a whole host of problems as adults. I pray that you put your child first and look to his innocent eyes for the strength you need. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it once you are on the other side. Good luck too you!

Nikki - posted on 02/03/2010

my sons dad was verbally abusive to me alot. and as soon as i got to the stage of him hitting things right next to me, i packed up and left. your son will not have to see him if you are fearing for your life and his. no court in hell would let him have visits if he is abusive..

Donna - posted on 02/03/2010

I feel the way of your description. I have 2 children with a man whom I now live apart from. He is not abusive to his 2, but was to me and the daughter I brought to the relationship.Together for 9 yrs, apart now for 18 months.

He shouted and screamed abusively, threw items and came up within mm of my face shouting. He would start in a tirade just before I'd go to work. He has great difficulty with trust and blamed my 10 yrs old girl for breaking up the family.

I see his life as one with little control and therefore I was his 'target'.

He did not work and was the stay at home Dad. This worked well for 3 yrs.

I was fearful, and that motivated me to seek help. I gained the strength to leave and live.



John Gottman a psychologist take about the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse and also what he sees as relationship builders. He is worth a look. Search his name, you'll find the information. Seek help locally, to find your way.Perhaps you already know your answer.

Only you can find the way you need. Trust yourself to choose correctly. Living in fear and anxiousness, is not a way to live.

Move with strength.

Ida - posted on 02/03/2010

I won't go into a lengthy explanation, I am a nurse and abusive of any sort is reason to get help and do so as quickly as possible. I have read a couple of the replies from others. You and your child are in danger and the authorities need to know. Call them at once, if you haven't already done so. There are shelters for battered women and their children. God bless and keep you as you make your decision. There is a better life than what you've described in your post.

Anna - posted on 02/03/2010

You have only one life and Your child deserve to live in safe home It sytuation is for along timetake Your life in your hands becouse you will lose your selfconfidence

Gwendolyn - posted on 02/03/2010

Are you ok? Many of us are worried about you. I hope you have filed reports with police and gotten away. LEAVE AND LIVE! Too many of us stay too long. I am praying for your safety and the well being of your child.

SANDRA - posted on 02/03/2010

take your son and get away from him pronto! If you can stash away a few dollars do it now and get ready to go. I was also in an abusive relationship for over 10 years, first verbal and eventually physical, broken bones, black eyes..not pretty at all...now I have been away from him for over 15 years and he still wants to control my life because we have a 17 year old son. Abusers are like alcoholics, they will not stop because they do not know they are "sick"..and it WILL NOT get better until they realize it. GO~! ASAP..and remember...if it happens again, file a police report, I shold have do it many times and regret that I never did. He is not worthy of you or your son. take care

Karen - posted on 02/03/2010

My first advice is to you is to get away from him.If not for yourself but for your sons safety.Yes I have and now I'm not .And I loved him, but .Now working in the medicial field and seeing alot more of the abuse women go through , is growing. They stay with because they think of he will change,or he has things on his mind and he is stressed and weget in his way..You Don't Have To Live This way.Wemen have left this kind of relationships even though they have children and they have made out ok. You have to want to have a better ,safer life for you and your son Get out before it gets worse or he really hurts you or your son and then you blame yourself.You probably weren't brought up this way so don't live this way There is a group called S C A R C for batteded women Get hold of them And you might want to make a police report in case he really hurts Good luck

Le-Anne - posted on 02/03/2010

I was also in an abusive relationship for a long time, when i left he would come and visit his children and still abuse me. Until i got a restraining order 5 years ago, then he stopped the physical abuse, but the mental abuse continued. About 2 months ago he threw our 8 yr old son across the floor in front of me at his house as i went to pick the children up.
I have heard that 60% of abusive partners will abuse their kid also. I know I'm still not in the best situation, but i left for the kids as wanted to teach my children that abuse is never OK! It would destroy me to see my sons abuse there family (like he has abused us) and to know that i stayed and showed them no other way

Amy - posted on 02/03/2010

Hi how are you, my advise is get out now the courts should only let him have supervised visits if he has admitted to previous abuse, I know from growing up in a similar situation with a step father, trust me if he hits you he wont stop at the children he's gutless , weigh up you you love more i know it's harsh but true you should always put your childrens needs first, if you stay he is not only teaching your child it's ok to be abusive but if you have your back turned he may abuse your child, You may think that he would'nt do that but it's an illness, it will take time to get past the fear of being alone but just think of the bad times , he has probably knocked your self esteem but dont believe him, you can do anything or be anything you want. please listen I'm someone who does know. take care..

Amy - posted on 02/03/2010

Hi how are you, my advise is get out now the courts should only let him have supervised visits if he has admitted to previous abuse, I know from growing up in a similar situation with a step father, trust me if he hits you he wont stop at the children he's gutless , weigh up you you love more i know it's harsh but true you should always put your childrens needs first, if you stay he is not only teaching your child it's ok to be abusive but if you have your back turned he may abuse your child, You may think that he would'nt do that but it's an illness, it will take time to get past the fear of being alone but just think of the bad times , he has probably knocked your self esteem but dont believe him, you can do anything or be anything you want. please listen I'm someone who does know. take care..

Lauren - posted on 02/03/2010

I am very sorry to hear about your abuse. I myself have not been in that kind of situation but I do know someone that has. You do need to file a police report because if it does come down to it and you do separate there will be nothing on paper reporting it and he will get visitation with the baby. Just remember the Miranda Lambert song gun powder and lead. What kind of man thinks so little of himself that he has to hit his wife or girlfriend. You are better than that. I know that I don't know you but no women deserves to be treated like that especially in front of their child. Good Luck and I do recommend listening to the song to give you strength.

Jessica - posted on 02/03/2010

a friend of mine went though this, the emotional abuse not physical, for many years. When her son was 2.5 she left. She moved in with her mom for 6 weeks so she wasnt alone and would have someone there to lean on, then she moved into her own appartment after that. I never thought she was strong enough to do it and i am very proud of her. She had tried once before and went back after just 6 days, but now its been over a year.

I have another friend who is generally in the same situation as you but with 3 children, and i dont think she will ever leave. Its unfortunate for the children. If you stay your lil guy is going to grow up treating women the way your husband treats u. Its hard but do your best, as long as you have a strong group of friends and family to support you I am sure you can do it!

When he hits you you can call and make a police report just to have it on file, not to hav him arrested. That way if you ever do leave there will be a paper trail about the abuse and you will not be charged with kidnapping. Unfortunatly the laws are crazy that way.

Good Luck, hope I helped!

Heather - posted on 02/03/2010

Please dont stay, I know easier said then done. But you have to for your safety and your child. A close family friend of mine stay with her husband for 20 years and he would beat her bad. One night he came home drink and tried to kill her and her kids. The cops told her she was lucky to be alive and luckly her kids werent hurt bad. He is away in jail. Hurting a person in any way is a crime. Here is a number please call and talk to someone , they can help The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Heather - posted on 02/03/2010

Please dont stay, I know easier said then done. But you have to for your safety and your child. A close family friend of mine stay with her husband for 20 years and he would beat her bad. One night he came home drink and tried to kill her and her kids. The cops told her she was lucky to be alive and luckly her kids werent hurt bad. He is away in jail. Hurting a person in any way is a crime. Here is a number please call and talk to someone , they can help The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Maria - posted on 02/03/2010

You need to leave this man. Now. If he hurts you, he will eventually hurt your child. He WILL eventually hurt your child!! And as a mother, you have a responsibility to protect your child from abuse, otherwise you are complicit in that. It's better to take a risk to get out of the situation. Do not tell your husband you're leaving before the fact. He will manipulate you right back into the relationship. There is no negotiating with an abuser. Don't wait and see if he improves. He won't.



Nobody needs to live this way. I've been there. I was terrified to leave, but I did and it worked. You are better off being alone with your son than being with your husband.

Donna - posted on 02/03/2010

Get out now. No man is worth taking abuse over. Go to a shelter if you have to. They will know all the resourses available to you out there. You deserve better treatment than what you are getting.

Lynn - posted on 02/03/2010

Angela, I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years, the emotional abuse started only months after we started going out together and continued for 10 years and through 3 pregnancies I never told anyone and after all that time of being abused and constantly put down and ridiculed I believe I was everything he told me I was, I had no self respect, no self worth and no confidence. One night the emotional abuse turned physical and he threw me around the kitchen and lounge room by my hair with my 4 year old daughter watching and him telling me because I was so pathetic thats how my girls would turn out. It was 2 more years from the first time he hit until the last time. I finally left and it was his comment about my girls turning out to be pathetic like me haunting that made me do it. We have been divorced for 8 years now, my girls are 14 and 11 and I am stronger than I have ever been. My eldest daughter knows what happened and I think has some memories of the abuse which I regret and wish I left him earlier, but I hope what I have been through and talking honestly with her about it, it has only made her a stronger person. My advice to you is, leave, it won't stop, it won't get better, it will only get worse. The emotional abuse is like cage he puts around you until you have nowhere to go and no one to go and then the physical abuse starts.

My ex sees the girls, but knows if he ever puts them down or raises a hand to them he will never see them again. I wish you the best of luck and all the strength needed Angela. Just remember the only way to stop the abuse is to remove it. Physical scars heal within days but emotional scars can take years to heal and even then the memories never fade.

Danielle - posted on 02/03/2010

I have and finally left my now ex-husband after being in a relationship with him for 15 years. We started dating when I was 15 and I finally left just before I turned 30. He was the only guy that I had EVER dated so I was truly clueless on how "normal" relationships are supposed to be. What finally gave me the strength to do it was our daughter!! I knew if I stayed with him and she was brought up seeing and hearing the things that went on - that she would most likely be in the same situation when she grew up. I knew the things that I hid from almost everyone and the thought of her going through the things that I have - I was not going to let that happen. I ended up moving out in one day when he was at work because I didn't know how he would react (even though he told me he wanted me to leave). Overall, use your child as your strength!!! Talk to an attorney BEFORE you actually make any formal moves so you know what things to expect (custody, order of protection, etc).



My daughter is now 7 - and I have been dating someone for just over two and a half years now and things are great. There is no hitting, no calling names - and trust me, it took some gtting used to - but my life is so much better now. I am a stronger person - and I know I have helped set my daughter up for a better life too!!

Holly - posted on 02/03/2010

You dont have to let him see him unsupervised! You DO however have to stand up for your son if you dont want him to see the baby unsupervised! The courts arent very friendly places but if you find the right people (the ones that still care about the welfare of others) they will help you keep the babies father at a safe distance. Find advocates honey, no matter what it takes ...because as you have seen it only gets worse. Take the time to find a trusted friend or family member and hide a set of clothes and as much money as you can (a little at the time if you have to) over at their place so that you can run and wont be without some of your own things. I will be praying for you! Stay strong for you and your son! You need to leave and get your son in a safe place before child services takes him away from both of you and the abuser in your life says its ALL YOUR FAULT!!! Like you know he will!

Shelley - posted on 02/03/2010

hi angela hope your ok, yes i have had a similar experience but i got out. i had my son to a abusive partner thinking things would change but they never, i seen a solicitor and they gave me loads of advice and help. please dont stay for the sake of your boy as he will grow up knowing violence is ok, i am in a loving relationship with another 2 children, just because you have a baby to someone doesn't mean you have to stay in the relationship and continue to live your life as you are, good luck

Patti - posted on 02/03/2010

I understand that you don't want to let everyone in on your situation, but if it is kept secret then there is no way to get help and there is no reason for your husband to change his behavior. You should plan ahead and plan today if you haven't already. You need to have a safe place to go with your kids, don't worry about money, most of the time when friends and family know they are more than willing to help. Staying with your husband is destructive to you, your kids and your husband. Your son has already witnessed how your husband treats you and that may be the way he will treat his own wife when he grows up. I would assume that your husband would not be able to see the children alone with the history of violence, but I do think that your first step after you leave is to file a police report. Destructive behavior should always have a consequence and maybe your husband needs to be hit in the face with the fact that you won't live that way anymore, that could cause a change. If you don't have friends and family seek out the nearest church and speak to the pastor for help. Put all this into prayer as you try to make some good out of a bad situation. I will be praying for you and your family.

Sheila - posted on 02/03/2010

Sweetheart what you need is strength. I wish I could give that to you, but I can't. You must have a ton of courage to survive thus far and I have never been where you are. So giving you advice I'm afraid would not be received very well. I did live, as a child, VERY close to a family member that was EXTREMELY violent and it left an everlasting impression on me. If I had to give you advice I would tell you, you already know what to do, it's just working out the details. Leaving him and staying away forever is the only answer, your son is helpless and counts on you for a future. Find your strength where ever you can. Police, churches, community services, don't stop until you are satisfied, remember you are worth it and your child is worth it. I will lift you up in prayer and ask our Father to place a hedge of protection around you and your son, open the doors to opportunity and bless your future. God Bless you and your child.

Katherine - posted on 02/03/2010

Just think if something happened to you, who is his next gaurdian...."Your Husband"

Katherine - posted on 02/03/2010

I would be calling the police every /anytime he does something to you. Show him you mean business or get the hell out of there girl!!!!! You can't even leave him alone with your son( warning bells ringing) Does it take something bad to happen to your son to realize thats not a safe environment. You will probably get blamed cause you subjected your son to that environment. YOUR CHILD COMES FIRST! It s a miracle you have your son with the abuse. Cherish that miracle.

Ellen - posted on 02/03/2010

Dear Angela,

I to have been where you are. If you have any chance, gather your 'important stuff' [photos, paperwork [inc tax returns of your partner] and store them in a 'SAFE PLACE', like a friend's place or your parents. For goodness sake I hope you have kept some record [diary, journal] of the abuse. Have you been in contact with your local Domestic Violence group/organization? Then choose your time and leave. Go to the police and lay charges, this will allow you 'some' time to go and retrieve possessions you WILL need to restart your life.

I know it is hard, but these situations don't get better. I stayed for far too long and left with only the clothes on my back. I did not inform the police, BIG MISTAKE. You do not want your son growing up in THAT environment.

If you can go to a women's shelter. They organized me. Got a Solicitor, Welfare, and so many other things. Also it didn't involve any family. That NEARLY DROVE HIM NUTS.

Just consider one thing, IF he destroyed you 'Who would care for your son?'. Which one is more capable of managing on his own?

You know the answer. Go and do it soon, but PLAN your escape. PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT OFF. Your life is in the balance.

Stephanie - posted on 02/03/2010

have you ever seen the movie "Enough" starring Jennifer Lopez? (awesome movie) She had a husband who was abusive she packed her and her daughters stuff and ran. she kept little contact with family and friends. I've been there. I didn't have a baby but i was still abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. Fight back. Protecting yourself and your child is not against the law. Its called being a mother. Good Luck dear.

Olivia - posted on 02/03/2010

please please please do what is best for you and your son. if you stay with an abusive person the courts could decide that the child is safe with either of you because you put the child at risk. what are you waiting for? men who hit and verbally abuse do not get better without really serious intervention and help. there is nothing you can do that will fix him. life is always hard, but it does not have to be like this. please pray to god for help, or a higher power, or the trees. you can do this.

Ilona - posted on 02/03/2010

go ! NOW! dont look back. go straight to police station and ask to be place in a refuge' or place of safty. nobody!!!! nobody !!!! should EVER put you down. you have the safty of YOUR self and baby to consider. and what would happen to your butifull baby if you end up in hospital or worse!!????

Ayse - posted on 02/03/2010

I understand what you are going thrugouh, you've been very lucky, but you need to leave because next time you may not be as lucky, and your son needs you in his life. He needs his mom to be healthy and be there for him. I would go to the police and get a restraining order. You dont need a proof to get one. You could also call the domestic violence hotline they would be able to help you and guide you to right direction. I wish you the best, i have went trough the same thing, during my early pregnancy he had choked me to the point where i couldnt breath and end up thowing up, after that during my pregnancy i would have dreams that i was trying to get away from him and i cloudnt, so i would cry in my sleep and he would wake me up and say i was crying, but i couldnt tell him why, cause i was so scared.

Jessica - posted on 02/03/2010

The smartest thing for you is to think about the safety of you and your son. You NEED to get out your happiness as well as your sons isn't worth damaging more b/c of some man who gets off hurting you. That isn't fair to you. Good Luck. The first step is to pack your stuff and walk the hell out the door and not to think twice about it.

Carla Anne - posted on 02/03/2010

hey there you really need to start thinking bout you and your sons safety i know how you feel as i was in a relationship like you and its all very well saying yea ijm gona leave unfortunitly its easier said than done!!!!if you would like help please ask me and i will try my best how old r you hun?

Karen - posted on 02/03/2010

Dear Angela, things do not get any better.I have married for 19 years and am petrified to leave my husband.WE went to counseling it changed for a few months and then went back.I am now 43 and finally getting the courage to KICK HIM OUT.You need to find out the kind of person you want to be.Not a statistic! I have 2 children a son who hates him cause of the way he treats me and he is 13. Good luck to you NO ONE deserves to be mistreated its not the way it is to be.

Amy - posted on 02/03/2010

Darlin, the BEST thing you can do is gather your courage, make a plan and GET OUT. My daughter escaped last December from her abuser. They were together for 7 years and have a little girl. My girl got tired of being berated, ignored, slapped and beaten. She realized that she was NOT the useless wife that he accused her of being and that she was 10 times more intelligent than to stay where she was not loved. This guy does NOT love you, no matter what he might say to you. You truly need to get with the counselor you originally saw (alone) and see if he/she can help you get out. If possible, this guy needs to be arrested and charged with battery. I tried to talk my daughter into it, but she refused. She tried to 'keep it all peaceful' but he is Still a jerk and she Doesn't trust him. Seek help NOW. You are your childs protector and you need to get him to safety ASAP. Round up all your friends and family and get them to understand and help you. I know you will have help. Good luck and God Bless!

Pam - posted on 02/03/2010

So many comments on this subject should show you how passionate women are about being abused. Something I would like you and other women in your situation to consider. You have a child in this situation now, so it is no longer just about you. Two things. First, what will you do not if, but when this man starts to abuse your child? You are then put in the possition of having to defend your little one and you could face the possiblity of losing that child. Second, what do you want your child to learn? If this is a boy, he will learn that women are not valuable. He will never learn to respect you or other women, and he will learn to be an abuser. If this child is a little girl, she will never learn to value herself, and she will likely grow up to be abused. If you will not leave for you-- If you do not value yourself enough, which I pray you do, Please, PLEASE, leave for your child. You are putting your child at risk to be abused, to become an abuser or a victim of domestic abuse, and you are increasing the risk that your child will later on become a substance abuser and will end up in the juvenile justice system. Get out now. For you and your child.

J_motter - posted on 02/03/2010

LEAVE!! Immediately, there is help out there.

Jackie - posted on 02/03/2010

Leave him now, you and your son need feel safe and loved,

What you are liveing with is not love and is not safe, so get out of there,

it wont get any better onely get worse, and by the time you knoe it youll have another fur baby,s and then you,l wont feel that you can walk away,

Take it from someone who,s been there,

Get out while you still can, and file a police report, its up to you if you feel he is a danger to your son you can request he has supervied visits,

Donna - posted on 02/03/2010

Hi , Im a survivor, you stay because you love him , your scared of leaving him, and your scared of being alone, no one will beable to tell you what to do because it has bo be your decission, i had a domestic violence councillor and she was fantastic, she helped me build up the courage i needed to beable to make the right choice , she even gave me a mobile phone to hide incase i needed to ring the police if i needed to .my kids was my first priority, i didnt want them going through this with me because kids know more than you think, you think they arnt listening but they are . you will do it you just need courage , you need to report it to the police they can protect you and your son, thats one thing i never did, and he tells me to this day that he did nothing because i never reported it to the police ,he said i had no evidence, but i told my doctor who helped me too. its hard but you know you can do it because i did, aand now i have a new life a job , a new man who loves me.. Domestic violence councellors are discreet and there for you, he will never change he does NOT love you he wants to Control you , I learnt by my misstakes PLEASE DONT MAKE THE SAME MISSTAKE I MADE......

Ronnelle - posted on 02/03/2010

PLEASE LEAVE....do not allow that man to steal your joy. Abuse is wrong in any form. Do you know of any agencies that may be able to get you the help that u need. Restraining order should be the first on the list. Then if he refuses to leave, u find somewhere for u and your child to sleep safely. Reach out to a co-worker if you can't get help from family. You would be surprised how many people would be willing to help out a woman and child in need! Good luck and please seek help before it's too late!!!

Marilyn - posted on 02/03/2010

Please, please file a police report the next time this happens. You MUST have a record of the abuse on file. Also, you should begin making plans to take care of yourself and your son. Open a bank account in your name only. Make sure your money is in separate accounts. Begin to move important papers/documents and personal items to a friends house (without him knowing). This will only get worse -- do not stay with this person. You deserve much better.

Lucy - posted on 02/03/2010

I was in a very similar situation but it was sexual and emotional abuse. My advise is your afraid of your sons safety being left alone with him, GET OUT NOW!!

I left mine 8 years ago I had now money and had 2 children, but family and friends were great. Don't be afraid to tell them what is happening they will be supportive but you must get out.

Gerri - posted on 02/03/2010

I know it is really difficult. If you still love him then it makes it all the harder but you have to actually think of your kids. If you take action while they are young the pain is less but as they grow older they will be affected. Whatever they see or hear will mould their character. Do the right thing and if you do pray God will surely do the right thing for you. We women were born for greater things and are priceless. geri

Felicia - posted on 02/03/2010

THATS HORRIBLE !!!!!!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR KIDS BACK JUST KEEP TRYING NEVER GIVE UP !!!! SEE WHY I TELL THESE WOMEN TO JUST GET OUT MAY GOD BLESS YOU &HELP YOU TO GET YOUR KIDS BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jen - posted on 02/03/2010

Your child and you deserve better.leave while you still have the strength to go.before you know it years will have gone by and you will be so emotionally beaten you won"t be able to leave.you will have the added guilt of your son having that as a role model ,an abusive man treats a woman he claims to love badly an an ineffective mother who never stood up for herself.RUN,DON"T WALK! and never look back

Janet - posted on 02/03/2010

Your counselor should help you. You need to find help from a women's assistance group, there are areas you can go to and stay like safe havens. Call your local police or hospital to provide you with the information you need. Be an advocate for your own child. REPORT this crime. If left as is your child will be negatively effected in adulthood and will either become abused or be an abuser. If you leave now the emotional scarring on your child will be minimum. Get counseling...it should be provided free. Good luck and may God bless you as you go to provide a better life for you and your child.

Amanda - posted on 02/03/2010

Even if you cannot do this for yourself, do it for your son. Get a restraining order not only for yourself but also for your son. You have to get one for both of you!! When you go fir the divorce have them subpeona the therapist you saw. They sometimes claim confidentiality and dont speak but it cant hurt to try. Not to mention all three of you were there in the room when he said it.
If your son stays in that situation he may learn from his father. He may think that males are supposed to act that way. Imagine your son treating his future girlfriends like your husband treated you.
I have personal experience and I am going to school to become a social worker. It takes women in abusive relationships an average of seven times in order to stay away for good. Be the exception.
If you are married and leave the state he cannot say you kidnapped your son. But he can file for divorce and custody without you knowing.

Mandy - posted on 02/03/2010

you can not stay in this relationship. its your son you must think of now, no man should put you throught this. there is help out there, get out one step at at time get help and get it sooner rather the later. go to c a b they will help good luck,,,