ADD??? REALLY???

User - posted on 05/08/2009 ( 112 moms have responded )

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I would like to know from the parents of children who have ADD/ADHD. We recently went to a doctor and my son was diagnosed with ADD, but I am seriously not convinced. Will a child with ADD/ADHD normally sit down and watch movies(he will sit and watch the lord of the rings trilogy in its entirety and only get up for something to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom) or sit and play video games for an hour or more on the weekends WITHOUT medication? Could really use some insight from those who have been there.

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Gina - posted on 05/12/2009

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ADD and ADHD are totally different, but since you did say your son was diagnosed with ADD, I'll stick to that. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD in 2nd grade. As an educator, I knew what sort of signs to be aware of, and she had/has a lot. Mostly its the focus, she rarely finishes her work in class and takes HOURS to finish the easiest assignments. She'd do one problem then talk to me, do another, then go potty, do another then daydream, do another, have a snack, etc. The thing is, she's REALLY bright - I know all parents say that, but she just took our states standardized math test and got a 100% - but she was the LAST one to finish. She, and other ADD kids can sit and watch hours of tv,movies, etc, but, because they are not hyper, it only LOOKS like they are FOCUSED, but the reality is they are not. Their minds wander CONSTANTLY. I can not give her multiple step directions - she forgets after the first one. She was on meds for only one year, and it helped a little, but when the next school year began, I tried NOT putting her on it at first and talked to her teacher and explained the situation and all teachers know about ADD, and she just needs refocusing more often than most, and she takes a little longer to do things than most. so she hasn't been on meds for years. If parents and teachers understand ADD, there arenon-medicinal tools to help them succeed, if that's what you want. On that note, my daughter's starting middle school in August, and I'm SERIOUSLY thinking about putting her back on meds because of the sheer amount of information that she's going to be bombarded with, and the responsibility of having to be responsible for so much more information. Like the othe posters have said, look into the ADD communities. Good Luck!

Niki - posted on 05/12/2009

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My daughter was diagnoised with ADHD in January of this year. She's able to sit, watch movies, play video games, etc, without meds. However, she has more of an issue focusing on tasks, completing things I've asked her to do, remembing to bring home all of her homework, that sort of thing. She just recently started medication in addition to counseling and I have noticed an improvement in just the last week. It was the little bit of medication that she needed in order to better understand the little things we were trying to teach her to help her.

Chelayne - posted on 05/12/2009

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The first time Justin was thought to have ADD/ADHD was in pre-school, which i thought was completely out of the question, I thought how in heavens name could a child so young have such a problem?! Not only that, pediatricians don't even diagnose kids with ADD/ADHD until at least grade 1 or 2, depending on their age. Justin's issues weren't only his grades or focus in school, it was the way he treated other people. He just couldn't grasp the concept of personal space and that touching everyone around him when they didn't want to be touched was unacceptable . He also did really weird, gross things in the bathroom which you all don't need the details on. Well it just so happened that in kindergarten he had 2 different teachers...the second one came back after maternity leave after x-mas holidays...anyway, both of these teachers were absolutely amazing, they both worked so diligently to try and make sure Justin excelled in EVERY way, NOT just academically. And of course with mine and my husbands help and support, Justin did really well except for what i mentioned above. He was still not understanding that his behavior was unacceptable. Justin was diagnosed with ADHD in grade 1 and we refused to put him on meds, so we did the alternative...the modified diet, natural supplements and so forth, we even went as far as no wheat or milk and for Justin, it just didn't work! So we finally relented and tried medication. We discovered Dexatrin. And what we found was that it didn't effect him in a negative way at all, accept for the first 2 wks when his body was adjusting. He's been on the meds now for 2 years and other then his focus and his ability to socialize with other kids it has not effected his energy what so ever!! He's still the same rambunctious, funny, smart and amazing boy! So anyone in this chat group that believes that the reason why we put our kids on meds just to shut them up, please try and remember that that is not what our goal is.

Carolee - posted on 05/08/2009

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Hello Ashley ! My name is Carolee . First let me start with our story . My son who is now 17 , who we took out of public school and has since flourished academically, was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD when he was in 5th grade . He also could sit for periods of time focused on things he was INTERESTED in. After a lot of school accessing and a lot of No's from us to medicating, a highly recommended professional was recommended to access our son "he just isn't interested in learning, he's a boy he would much rather be outside playing." Can you imagine that, a 5th grader not wanting to memorize the 10 different indian tribes. The principal of the school in the end pulled us in to her office and said and I quote "If we don't comply with government standerds we {the school} wont get the funds needed to hire extra people to help your son." I dont think it is ours kids responsibility to make learning fun interesting and tailored. I think the responsibility truly lies with { THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM } Everyone has different learning styles. People learn at different paces and learn better in different environments. Our wonderfully made kids sit for 6-8 hours every day for 5 days some even longer then come home to do more of the same with the load of homework . Just because some can do it, doesn't mean that there is something wrong with those who cant or choose not to :D I am 38 and I don't want to sit all day and learn even if I could I have heard so many stories from parents who have put there kids on medication and they have told me that their kids have became completely different people. I have also been told from some teachers " The kids are like zombies" There are so many other alternatives out there for you I hope I helped. LOVE CAROLEE

Kyle - posted on 05/08/2009

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The simple answer to your question is YES! My son is in 6th grade and was in 3rd grade when he was diagnosed. Basically, he seems fairly normal except for the fact that he cannot concentrate in school. He is on the Daytrana patch basically for school only. He usually doesn't take his medication on the weekends because he strictly needs it for concentration at school. He can easily watch movies, play video games, but sports are what he loves to do and being active is good for that! He doesn't act out at school, most teachers like him, he just has a very hard time with school learning because of concentration. So, yes it is possible!

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Jacqueline - posted on 08/25/2010

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yes when it comes to movies or video games they are very concentrated on them and very rarely pay any attention to anything or anyone else while doing so other things too look for are problems in school mood swings high activity levels not remembering detail and so on i have it/had it and my eldest daughter has it aswell be fore u try prescription drugs go herbal and never put ur child on ritalin bad bad stuff

LIDEL - posted on 05/15/2009

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Wow! Sounds just like my ADD son. What you don't understand is that you see TV or video games as focus when in reality they are constant distractions which is how the ADD mind works. There is good and bad to ADD. The bad, not being able to focus on one specific thing but too much imput from around them. The good, once he learns to control this, he will be a great multi-tasker. Medication is the best way to go. Talk to your doctor about starting out with a low dose and working up to find the best dose for your child. Many doctors will prescribe the norm but as you know, every child is different and yours is unique. The first doctor we went to wanted to prescribe my son with 28mg of Adderal which made him a complete zombie. I sought out a professional and we started at 10mg and found that at 15mg it was all he needed to cope. As time goes on they learn to live with the distractions as they know what it is to not have them.

Carol - posted on 05/13/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:

Apparently you people don't remember what it is like to be a child. ALL children naturally focus on things they are interested in, and seem to get sidetracked when they are asked to do something they don't particularly want to do. But let's just go ahead and medicate our kids because they don't sit still. THEY ARE CHILDREN! Children have energy, that is healthy! If your kids didn't get up and move I'd be worried. And of course when you change their diets and take away the high fructose corn syrup they have better focus. Everyone knows high carb diets cause instant energy and then a crash later. Wake up people!! Has anyone ever wondered why the incidence in ADD/ADHD has surged in the last 20 years? It's because we are all too busy and stressed out to realize that children are children. We are tired and worn out from work so we don't want to play with our children anymore, we just want them to sit down and shut up. We are too busy to cook real dinners with them and sit down together. Everything is pre-packaged junk now and we wonder why there are so many new afflictions in our children. Changing diets makes huge differences in children with ADD/ ADHD, autism, celiac's disease, etc. It's because what you put in is what you get out. Try spending more time with your kids, teach them to help cook nutritious meals, teach them to get outside and exercise. Sorry if I'm living in the past, but I believe that being a stay at home mom makes a huge difference in our children's behavior and abilities. And I'm not perfect, I have dirty dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry, but I make sure I spend as much time as possible playing with my kids and teaching them to be proud of who they are. Why would we teach our children that there is something wrong with them and that they need to be medicated? Why can't we all embrace our children as individuals instead of trying to stifle who they really are? I've seen lots of medicated kids who lose their 'spark' because who they really are is suppressed by the meds. But the parents are happy because they have perfect grades and don't cause trouble anymore. Is this what we really want for our children? To be perfect angels who have no personality of their own just so we can tell other parents that our kids are on the honor roll? Is that what is truly important? Stop and think about who you want your children to be.



 



 



 



 



 



Hey.



Well I tottally agree with you Stephanie. I, Myself wish I could be a stay at home Mom, but I cant right now. But I am in school in order to have a career at home as a single mom. I have a boyfriend now but still considered as single, not married. I do notice that mothers come home stressed from work and flip the switch the minute they see thier kids and the kids asking for things. They just want to come home and relax and not hear of it. So they buy their children video games, so they can stay away and be busy. These children  are not pets and we should not treat them like it. They are God's children, not ours. We are here to raise them to be the best they can be and have fun. I remember in highschool, rarely every hearing about add/adhd, cause most of our Mothers were stay at home moms, nowadays, 1 out of 3 of children is diagnosed with the disorder. And we drug them up, to shut them up. To calm them down and leave the tired/stressed mother alone. I dont know too much on the subject, I admit that. But  a lot of people I know, agree with me, especially friends I grew up with. I have a neighbor that has a child with this supposed add/adhd, and aspergars syndrome, which some people i know call [excuseburgers] Does anyone ever read the bible nowadays? have we lost our traditional mothers. Now we have lazy mothers who are selfish, and see what they can get out of this. I am sorry for offending people. But lay off the sugar and take some time out of your week to spend one on one time with your children and not time at the bar/club, or talking on your phone for hours. Also read to them every night or at least try every night. If you cant get your child to lay down for that. Then their are serious problems. I have read to my children since they were born and still do. Its one of my favorite times of the day. Cause I get to spend a lot of my time with them. The time I dont get much by working 50+ hours a week.





 

Trish - posted on 05/13/2009

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Hey, Yes they would. My son was diagnosed when he was 5. and he's now 17, it has been a rough road for him and the family..I did'nt want to believe my son was Adhd but now I know more about the signs and I accept it.

Janet - posted on 05/13/2009

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My son was diagnosed w/ADD in October and he can sit and watch any star wars movie or play any video game all day!!!! He was also almost a straight A student which made it even harder. He has been on this patch called Daytrna you put it on 2 hours before you want it to work and it last 9 hours. It has been the best thing for hip!!!

Melissa - posted on 05/13/2009

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Quoting Kylie:

I’d like to add to this conversation my brother’s story. He was diagnosed with ADD when he was 11. All his primary school life he was picked on by teachers, told he was naughty boy and never listened. He was the only kid in grade 5 who didn’t get to write with a pen because his teacher told him he was too naughty and made too many mistakes so he had to use a pencil. At home my Mum and Dad were very strict and our home was extremely structured just for his benefit, we were not allowed cordial or cool drinks, lollies or sugary cereal because if my brother had some he couldn’t stop and then he would be bouncing off the walls. Anyway, in his last year of primary school he was diagnosed and started on medication and everything changed. The day he started he came home from school and said to my Mum” I can actually hear the teacher! Everyone is talking around me but I could focus on what she was saying”. He ended up getting the top science and art awards at the end of the year and got a wonderful report card and this set him up for a positive experience with school for his high school years. He is now 25 and still takes his medication to focus in his job where he designs boats and their electrical components. There was no way he would have got through all his education without the medication. How dare people judge parents and children who are on medication and dealing with ADD! Unless you have walked in the shoes of a family who have dealt with this you have no idea how it affects not only the child but everyone in the family. It’s not about poor discipline or kids being kids, it an imbalance in the brain.



As usual I love your post it is so true ADD and ADHD are both very real and effect the whole family of  course DIET can contribute but some parents have no choice but to later put there children on medication. Some schools will also inforce it, teachers get paid little as well and with out the child being in the learning mode it wasting the teachers time, the childs timae and potentionally other students. Medication can actually get them to sit and learn and that in itself will prepare them for later in life. Most kids with ADD OR ADHD struggle with school so anything that may contribute to making it easier for them why not.

Jeanette - posted on 05/12/2009

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Both of my children were diagnosed with ADHD. Sometimes they will sit still for hours if it is something they want to do. But then there are times that they bounce off the walls. My ex husband has taken them off medicine because he does not see the difference, it does help to control there attention span. If your children are not driving you nuts without the medication, then do not get them started on it.

Hope - posted on 05/12/2009

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My son is now 19 and doing great in college. As a young child (2-3) I noticed significant changes in behavior whenever he had sugar or artifical coloring. I am sure that if his diet was not controlled through grade school he would have been diagnosed ADHD. The change was extreme and immediately noticable if he had anything with refined sugar or artifical coloring. His activity level would skyrocket, his ability to control impulses was nonexistant, and forget about focusing on anything. As he progressed through middle school he made good choices about food most of the time but also developed the ability to better control impulses and behavior if he chose food with sugar and color. I will admit that focusing and staying organized are not his strengths but he is incredibly creative and responsible and has developed the skills to cope. I would encourage you to explore a change in diet before meds. Don't know if you are aware but more than 80% of children treated with meds are addicted to illegal substances as adults (suggesting they self medicate when the uppers that helped as children are no longer legally available).

Tina - posted on 05/12/2009

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it is amazing to me how so many moms can come together and with simple heartfelt words and tellings of their experience can make someone else's weight seem less heavey on the shoulders. so let me share with you some of my experiences.



i was a young mom at seventeen and a single mom. my son was my life and heart. in him i found me...the best part of me some small wonder called momma. as a toddler and small child he was extremely hyper, i thought nothing of it as he was my first. i have a younger brother who was very similar so it seemed no big deal. in pre-k my sons teacher called me numerous times to tell me she believed jordan had what was called ADHD. she gave her explainations....as the internet wasnt so mainstream then i did what best i could to research. it wasnt easy. i was now with my husband who loved my son like his own. him and i fought over this as i continued to believe jordan didnt have what they were claiming. please understand in my last post i meant no outright disrespect for ALL educators.



the reason i stated that was at this time i was in college for elementary education and doing a sememster in 3rd grade. my experience showed the difference in children today and the difference in how educators dealt with overzealous children. so when my son was "marked" the same way i was angry. then as i said i was asked to observe my son on a school day....while i watched him hurt himself like i explained before let me tell you what finally had me convinced.



the teacher had not many options in dealing with my sons difficulties. her method was putting his name on the board. this upset my son because it happened daily and them would lose playground time. the day i was in the class jordan had an amazing day. to show positive reinforcement the teacher put my sons name on the board in a big heart. he started to sob. he had no idea the difference between the two. all he saw was his name on the board...it was heartbreaking.



the next eleven years was a nightmare of lazy and irresponsible educators, doctors and tests. in the end i trusted me. his mother and decided what was best....after a frightening incident with daycare and the caregiver almost killing my son by taking it upon herself to medicate him after we did with her emergency supply because she thought "he seemed hyper"



so i stand by what i have said. the new "diagnosis" today the doctors feel children have is autism spectrum disorder. i have met children that actually have this disorder and some that are diagnosed and dont. there will always be something 100 years ago they just thought children were possessed from the devil.



have faith moms and dads, trust your intstinct and heart and find what works for your child. and for the record i discontinued my plans to be a teacher i am now almost finished with a doctorate in sociology to work with children and adolescents in crisis.



good luck and to you other moms who help thanks to you all every little bit of advice helps

Kylie - posted on 05/12/2009

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I’d like to add to this conversation my brother’s story. He was diagnosed with ADD when he was 11. All his primary school life he was picked on by teachers, told he was naughty boy and never listened. He was the only kid in grade 5 who didn’t get to write with a pen because his teacher told him he was too naughty and made too many mistakes so he had to use a pencil. At home my Mum and Dad were very strict and our home was extremely structured just for his benefit, we were not allowed cordial or cool drinks, lollies or sugary cereal because if my brother had some he couldn’t stop and then he would be bouncing off the walls. Anyway, in his last year of primary school he was diagnosed and started on medication and everything changed. The day he started he came home from school and said to my Mum” I can actually hear the teacher! Everyone is talking around me but I could focus on what she was saying”. He ended up getting the top science and art awards at the end of the year and got a wonderful report card and this set him up for a positive experience with school for his high school years. He is now 25 and still takes his medication to focus in his job where he designs boats and their electrical components. There was no way he would have got through all his education without the medication. How dare people judge parents and children who are on medication and dealing with ADD! Unless you have walked in the shoes of a family who have dealt with this you have no idea how it affects not only the child but everyone in the family. It’s not about poor discipline or kids being kids, it an imbalance in the brain.

Emili - posted on 05/12/2009

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Most definately they can. My son, who is 11, does the exact same thing. His problem is in school when there are sooo many distractions. I have my son on Concerta, it is a 12-hour medication, and it works great for him. Does your son take medication? I was really leary of it at first, but it is working for him and the only side effect I have seen is a slight decrease in appetite.

Denise - posted on 05/12/2009

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My youngest son, who is 26 now, has ADD. We had a difficult time in school with him staying focused on what was put before him. He has a short term memory, so, spelling tests really killed him and any other test he studied for the night before. He also had a hard time reading and being able to finish the book. He ALWAYS had homework and it was very difficult to get the teachers to understand anything. He is better now as an adult.

Traci - posted on 05/12/2009

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Yes, yes and yes! A child with ADD/ADHD can "hyperfocus" on something that captures their interest. If someone tells you that your child cannot possible have ADD/ADHD because he/she can sit down and read a book, for example, they are wrong because if the book is interesting TO THEM, a child with ADD/ADHD will focus on it until it is done. Try giving them something they don't find fascinating and see what happens! It will be deemed "Boring" within minutes and they will be onto the next thing.



You have basically described my son in your questions. He sat through the Lord of the Rings trilogy when he was nine years old (he is 11 1/2 now) and on the weekends, he will be busy with his computer/Wii/books for hours at a time to the point where he "forgets" to eat and we have to remind him! Honestly, a bomb could go off next to him and he wouldn't notice...



My son was initially diagnosed with ADHD-Combined Type when he was in Kindergarten and we tried various treatments, including diet changes, vitamins and supplements, behaviour therapy and ear acupuncture (all were mildly effective, but none produced really spectacular results) before we finally broke down and started him on medication in grade three. It had gotten to a point where he was being suspended for behaviour problems and willfully defiant behaviour. Part of the problem was that he is also a gifted learner (which we didn't know at the time) and that was contributing to his boredom. This is the thing about ADD/ADHD -- it rarely occurs by itself, and it's hard to get a handle on a treatment. We have paired the diet changes with medication ongoing CBT with a wonderful pediatric psychiatrist and his behaviour and attitude have both improved immensely. After a year's work with this combination of treatments, we are finally getting positive feedback on the changes from family and friends.



It's a very long road to travel and you need the support of others who are walking that same road -- it can be a very lonely journey if you have noone to talk to. Thank goodness for forums like this one! I hope you find my story helpful!

Marnie - posted on 05/12/2009

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My 8 year old daughter has ADHD and she can sit and watch some of her favorite shows for hours if I let her I have found that the ADHD comes into play when trying to get her to do something if she is not on meds I have to give her single instructions she is incabable of remembering more then one thing at a time in other words two step instructions are pointless with her. However on meds she can do a lot more I wlas very adament about her dosage because I didn't want a zombie child roaming around the house I don't think that is ok by any means she is only on the second dosage up from the lowest dosage and she still has the spunk I would never want to take out of her. My ex husband is also in the military and I just had to tell my two older that he was just sent over seas again so they wouldn't be able to talk to him for awhile. This of course upset her and she has been very emotional the last few days. I however have remarried so that helps a little but not much. If you are hesitant to put him on meds my suggestion is to try for a month see if it makes the kind of differance you are comfortable with and go from there but remember it is always your choice don't let anyone bully you into medicating your child. Hope I helped a little if you have any questions just ask.

Susan - posted on 05/12/2009

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Our Grandson lives with me and he has been diagnosed ADHD. there are certain things that he will do, like a movie that catches his imagination or play a video game for HOURS, while he can't seem to clean up his room or finish anything else. With our guy its his inability to focus with a lot of other activity going on...He wants to be part of everybody's activity at once. We have recently begun medication (he is 12) and the change in his schoolwork was immediate.

Anja - posted on 05/12/2009

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ooooooooer adhd or add sufferers dont have a long concentration span my daughter was diagnose athe age of 3 and she actaully dont carry the full criteria of being adhd ,because of the flitting sshe still was put on paper as adhd but i dont agree with it either because she does well at school its very baffling to me ..

Tracie - posted on 05/12/2009

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My son, can tell you right down to every button in the Spiderman show. But cant remeber what foot to put his shoes on, or that he is suppose to do other little minute things. Its crazy that these kids can remember some things but not others that they were just asked two sec. ago. The challenge is to focus that interest in t.v. to everyday life activities. The t.v. is constantly moving and changing..great for ADD/ADHD but normal things like putting shoes on the right foot or remembering to put there clothes on correctly, or simply things like wiping their face after eating is not their focus. Jared has now been in therapies to help find attractive ways to help him focus. He is now 6 years old and has made a 80% improvement. It is hard and a long journey, but with lots of work and help from specialist then can be done. However this can be exspensive, so use your internet for things to help at home to. Good Luck. (oh, and Jared now no longer needs meds. we have cute little things we do to remind when getting off track.)

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2009

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I think doctors are too quick to diagnose children with a disorder or disease. When I was a child EVERYONE was saying I had ADD, but my mom, like you, fully disagreed because I could sit and watch a 3 hour movie and set my mind to tasks. She started picking up medical books to research on her own, turns out- I had CRAZY food allergies. If I ate things like hot dogs, chocolate, skittles, I would lose my mind. As soon as she eliminated those foods from my diet I was a completely different kid. Start paying attention to the foods your son is eating and if his attitude changes after eating certain things. Doctors aren't willing to take the time to find what the real problem is and would rather throw out a quick diagnoses and offer meds, so us parents have to be super sleuths to figure it out.

Sylvia - posted on 05/12/2009

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hi TINA fair play to you nothing worse than some one commenting on something they no nothing about

User - posted on 05/12/2009

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You normally find that is it something that they are very interested in, sometimes that is the only way I can get my daughter to stop bouncing around all the time is by letting her watch Animal Planet or History Channel if they are doing about Eygpt. I have also found that sports is a great way to tire them out, especially if it is and hour or so before bed. Like many of the posts on here I can see my daughter, (she has high end ADHD and ODD and am also a single parent- boy did I get fed up with that one for an excuse as to her behaviour) lack of attention, unable to complete a simple task without telling her more than once what it was, and I never ask her to do more than one task at a time because it gets frustrating for the both of us. Diet had worked on its own for a while, now she is on medication - but like some mums have found out what their trigger is - my daughters - orange(carrots/oranges etc), wheat and natural forming asprin - even the smell or slightest touch can set her off. Along with that, personal hygiene products, cleaning products and make up - try telling a beautiful girl that make up isnt for her (shes only 9 and thinks the world has come to an end!!) GOOD LUCK to all you out there with children/adults that have this condition and you must think of yourself at times and get a circle of good TRUSTED friends around you, for I have had to struggle with this on my own for over seven years and its only been in the last two (yes since birth - swear before at times) that I have made trusted friends especially those who have had dealings with or are also coping with the various forms of ADHD/ADD/ODD and the other parts that go with this - depression, austisum and the many other things that get missed. A sympathetic ear or a hug and smile goes a long way!

Tina - posted on 05/11/2009

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i think people who come on here to be mean or correct others need a hobby. the moms come here out of fear frustrastion and help. not every doctor has the answer nor do all doctors agree on all types of diagnosis or treatment. nor does every child with ADD/ADHD act the same. no one has any right to come on here and accuse someone they dont even know of not caring about their own child.



as far as trying to place blame then we need to stop stomping on parents and concentrate on educators who obviously have gotten lazy over these many years. i did not just up and take my son to the doctor and say "he's hyper do something" i suggest the members flag those who are inapropriate and hurtful on here. no one has a right to second guess or slander anyone else and their child with just a few bits of info. it is childish and hurtful and NOT what this sight is for

Tiffany - posted on 05/11/2009

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No parent wants to put their child on medication but if it helps her to concentrate better in school and the teachers can see a difference no one wants their child struggle at home or at school and many other problems impulsiveness etc...

Amy - posted on 05/11/2009

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Yes they will, it is something they enjoy. How is the homework? My sons both are ADD and ADHD. The games are vary stimulating... and my boys love that trilogy. Its all how they learn. They are working on the road blocks, always support. It is a dip in the road they both have to get through, they just learn a little differently then most!!! Challenges, that's what makes life exciting.

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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i honestly hope u got some thing from most of these comments on here

u do what u think is best for ur child

Tiffany - posted on 05/11/2009

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My daughter has ADHD and was struggling in school she eats fine we do play she is in sports and for your info in less than 1% elimination diets do not work. my daughter does not get pop or a bunch of junk what do you say for the adults that have ADHD do their parents have to play with them more?

Tiffany - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:

Apparently you people don't remember what it is like to be a child. ALL children naturally focus on things they are interested in, and seem to get sidetracked when they are asked to do something they don't particularly want to do. But let's just go ahead and medicate our kids because they don't sit still. THEY ARE CHILDREN! Children have energy, that is healthy! If your kids didn't get up and move I'd be worried. And of course when you change their diets and take away the high fructose corn syrup they have better focus. Everyone knows high carb diets cause instant energy and then a crash later. Wake up people!! Has anyone ever wondered why the incidence in ADD/ADHD has surged in the last 20 years? It's because we are all too busy and stressed out to realize that children are children. We are tired and worn out from work so we don't want to play with our children anymore, we just want them to sit down and shut up. We are too busy to cook real dinners with them and sit down together. Everything is pre-packaged junk now and we wonder why there are so many new afflictions in our children. Changing diets makes huge differences in children with ADD/ ADHD, autism, celiac's disease, etc. It's because what you put in is what you get out. Try spending more time with your kids, teach them to help cook nutritious meals, teach them to get outside and exercise. Sorry if I'm living in the past, but I believe that being a stay at home mom makes a huge difference in our children's behavior and abilities. And I'm not perfect, I have dirty dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry, but I make sure I spend as much time as possible playing with my kids and teaching them to be proud of who they are. Why would we teach our children that there is something wrong with them and that they need to be medicated? Why can't we all embrace our children as individuals instead of trying to stifle who they really are? I've seen lots of medicated kids who lose their 'spark' because who they really are is suppressed by the meds. But the parents are happy because they have perfect grades and don't cause trouble anymore. Is this what we really want for our children? To be perfect angels who have no personality of their own just so we can tell other parents that our kids are on the honor roll? Is that what is truly important? Stop and think about who you want your children to be.


 

Tiffany - posted on 05/11/2009

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To Carol I don't think that you know a thing about ADHD because if you did you would not have said those things there are kids that suffer everyday and if my daughter was not diagnosed she would still be struggling in school it has nothing to do with spanking or disipline i have three other kids who don't have it and don't struggle so before you give your advice get your facts straight!!!

Susie - posted on 05/11/2009

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If you are at all skeptical, I would definitely get a second and even third opinion. I am a big fan of other opinions -- you never know what someone else might say about the situation and it would just give you peace of mind.

Tina - posted on 05/11/2009

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Hi My names Tina and my son was diagnosed with adhd about a 1 1/2 ago. he is 12 now and yes he can sit through movies play viedo games ect.. Hes on focalin XR 20mgs. Its helped with his school work a lot. And it has NOT changed his personality at all. If ur kid is not struggling with school work then i would not worry about putting him on any meds

Donna - posted on 05/11/2009

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if you go online and put in adhd with out meds thete loads of them, you just need to do the research on it and find on that fits your needs. It also depends on what area u live in also.

[deleted account]

I am also a single mom with no father figure for my son. I tried and continue with a counselor. We work on areas that I and the teachers have trouble with. My son was reading at 3 years old and was at a 1st grade level in kindergarten. Then end of fisrt grade he was went backwards to a kindergarten level. My son will sit and watch movies, play games....etc. I mainly had a problem with defiance. Like some single moms (me) my son is used to listening to one adult. They get to school and if you arent that "one" he was going to listen to that day, then you didnt get nothing out of him. Did you and the teachers fill out a Conners Form? If yes, then I would try to see a counselor first, you dont want him to hurt academically. If not, then I would ask my doctor if I could fill some out and if he doesnt have one ask him to find someone that has the form. I also only give my son his medication on school days only and it only lasts about 6-8 hours. After that is when the being in control and strategies from the counselor help. Hope this helps.

Stephanie - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Deb:

Most children who are ADD/ADHD are class clowns because they can't control their behavior. It makes it very difficult for them to have friends when they are goofing off all the time. I am very happy to not be called in to the principals office every other day like I was last year with my son and I am very happy that he is no longer the class clown but instead the class star. As the children grow they do learn ways to adapt and control themselves better just as we adults have learned to live with ADD/ADHD ourselves. It is difficult but as we mature we do and can learn to cope with this without the use of medication. Children just don't have the maturity to deal with it properly so they need medication. If you have never mets this persons child how can you judge whether or not her child has ADD or ADHD? Thank you for not slamming me and realizing that this is an actual condition, but unless it is your own child I don't think you have the right to judge anyone.

As for your own child, perhaps you should concider the disservice you are doing by not medicating him. Do you really think harsh discipline, spoankings, being sent to the office and labeled a bad kid is good for their self esteem??? Isn't it better for the child to medicate, help them control themselves so that they can feel good about themselves again??


Hold on a second Deb, I definitely DO NOT condone or myself practice harsh discipline or spankings.  I do not tell my child that he is bad just because he has a lot of energy.  I just want to put that out there that I do not practice these measures.  And I'm sure some people will be happy to hear that this is the last I will post.

Stephanie - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Deb:

Most children who are ADD/ADHD are class clowns because they can't control their behavior. It makes it very difficult for them to have friends when they are goofing off all the time. I am very happy to not be called in to the principals office every other day like I was last year with my son and I am very happy that he is no longer the class clown but instead the class star. As the children grow they do learn ways to adapt and control themselves better just as we adults have learned to live with ADD/ADHD ourselves. It is difficult but as we mature we do and can learn to cope with this without the use of medication. Children just don't have the maturity to deal with it properly so they need medication. If you have never mets this persons child how can you judge whether or not her child has ADD or ADHD? Thank you for not slamming me and realizing that this is an actual condition, but unless it is your own child I don't think you have the right to judge anyone.

As for your own child, perhaps you should concider the disservice you are doing by not medicating him. Do you really think harsh discipline, spoankings, being sent to the office and labeled a bad kid is good for their self esteem??? Isn't it better for the child to medicate, help them control themselves so that they can feel good about themselves again??


Hold on a second Deb, I definitely DO NOT condone or myself practice harsh discipline or spankings.  I do not tell my child that he is bad just because he has a lot of energy.  I just want to put that out there that I do not practice these measures.  And I'm sure some people will be happy to hear that this is the last I will post.

Jamie - posted on 05/11/2009

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The last thing that I am going to say is that for all the negative people out there. If you have not experienced a child with ADD/ADHD/Bi Polar disease then u have no room to talk. Meds do not make a child be someone that they r not unless on the wrong dose. My child tried 7 medications until HE, HIMSELF thought that it helped him. It makes the CHILDS life better! They r more confident and it makes making friends a bit easier. I do not care about his grades as long as he feels good about what he is doing. And yes maybe it is over diagnosed. But leave the families out of it that actually need it. Like I said if u do not have children that have it as bad as mine do then shut up! It is hard enough to know as a mother that it came from me and is hereditary and knowing that every child that u give birth to may have the same issues. It is very heart breaking to see my child in pain because he is so socially behind and he is not treated the same as the other kids. The meds he is on now makes a world of difference. Not only at school but in his sports. Please do not post anymore negative thoughts unless u can back it up with experience of this disease in your own life!

Rabecca - posted on 05/11/2009

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Before meds my son was a very sad little boy he actaully test above average/gifted but could not control his actionsenough to ever get through one day of school without his teacher calling say he did this or said that , kids did not like him because he was that kid who said whatever he was thinking to whoever got in his way it did not matter kids know that certain kids spend the day in the office because they were "bad" he was aggressive and knew he was not acting the way his peers acted and wanted to deperatly. Low self asteem and anxiety were very much a part of his day he did not want to go to school because who wants to go somewhere where you know you are always getting in trouble . we tried counselling therapy you name it he knew the right way to act but could not do it when he was nervious or mad which is about all the time it was so hard to waltch him struggle . So we went for the meds I could not waltchhim get any further behind socailly as well as in school and now he shines he is top of his class and has made friends he is not the same kid well the same kid just a happier more self confident kid he may still have off days once in a blue moon but hey he's 8 I can take a few bad days and truly I feel badly about waiting so long to put him on meds I really think I did him more harm than good by waiting he remembers those days when he was made fun of and hurt by other kids because of how he acted but hopefully it will pass as the outgoing kid i know overcomes the pre-medication kid

Donna - posted on 05/11/2009

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Please everyone stop, and remember what this is all about!!!THE CHILDREN!!! Kids are there own person and the parent does what is best for them. Every child is diffrent, My 2children even though they both have ADHD one was and is still on meds and the other is not. We are making a big thing with each other and not remember what is inportant here. A little advice, wait till the child is school age, and then let the teacher be aware that you think they might have ADHD, and then get there input. Talk to the school counsler, take your time it is not something that should be taken lightly, do research, read books. Go to a support group. It helps, my son is now 21 and deals with it as an adult as so will my daughter. Please remember everyone has their own opinion, and that is why they call it an OPINION!!!!

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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my son is 20 now but believe me they were tough years with and without meds

as u say he has learned to live with it he dont take his meds since he left school

but still he has his moments he is a good kid and love him to bits

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Deb:

Most children who are ADD/ADHD are class clowns because they can't control their behavior. It makes it very difficult for them to have friends when they are goofing off all the time. I am very happy to not be called in to the principals office every other day like I was last year with my son and I am very happy that he is no longer the class clown but instead the class star. As the children grow they do learn ways to adapt and control themselves better just as we adults have learned to live with ADD/ADHD ourselves. It is difficult but as we mature we do and can learn to cope with this without the use of medication. Children just don't have the maturity to deal with it properly so they need medication. If you have never mets this persons child how can you judge whether or not her child has ADD or ADHD? Thank you for not slamming me and realizing that this is an actual condition, but unless it is your own child I don't think you have the right to judge anyone.

As for your own child, perhaps you should concider the disservice you are doing by not medicating him. Do you really think harsh discipline, spoankings, being sent to the office and labeled a bad kid is good for their self esteem??? Isn't it better for the child to medicate, help them control themselves so that they can feel good about themselves again??


I so agree with this. My daughter is so much happier and well adjusted since she began her medication.

Deb - posted on 05/11/2009

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Most children who are ADD/ADHD are class clowns because they can't control their behavior. It makes it very difficult for them to have friends when they are goofing off all the time. I am very happy to not be called in to the principals office every other day like I was last year with my son and I am very happy that he is no longer the class clown but instead the class star. As the children grow they do learn ways to adapt and control themselves better just as we adults have learned to live with ADD/ADHD ourselves. It is difficult but as we mature we do and can learn to cope with this without the use of medication. Children just don't have the maturity to deal with it properly so they need medication. If you have never mets this persons child how can you judge whether or not her child has ADD or ADHD? Thank you for not slamming me and realizing that this is an actual condition, but unless it is your own child I don't think you have the right to judge anyone.



As for your own child, perhaps you should concider the disservice you are doing by not medicating him. Do you really think harsh discipline, spoankings, being sent to the office and labeled a bad kid is good for their self esteem??? Isn't it better for the child to medicate, help them control themselves so that they can feel good about themselves again??

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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i cudnt have put it better myself fair play to you girl

and yes we do it for our kids not just to shut them up

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:

And obviously you are picking and choosing which comments to pay attention to.
#1 - I clearly stated that these disorders DO exist.
#2 - I will continue to keep my belief that these disorders are over-diagnosed so that many parents and doctors have an easy way out.
#3 - The over-diagnosis is what makes it harder on the people who have these conditions.
#4 - According to many posts on here, my step-son would definitely be considered to have ADD, and yes, we have had people ask us if he has been diagnosed as such. My daughter's physical therapist has even asked.
#5 - Before you start attacking my beliefs, take a second and realize that I have been trying to stand up for the people who really have this - like your daughter. If I were you, I'd be more pissed that so many people who don't have it are trivializing it down to a matter of their kid getting bad grades or being the class clown (such as my son). So I suggest you realize when someone is trying to advocate for those kids out there who really do have it.

So no, it really doesn't bother me to be called a bitch because I choose to stand up for my beliefs.



dont you think that if someones child really didnt have ADD/ADHD that they would be posting on this thread?  If these people just want their kid out of their hair and less trips to the school office than I dont think they would care enough to post their expirences here.

Stephanie - posted on 05/11/2009

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And obviously you are picking and choosing which comments to pay attention to.
#1 - I clearly stated that these disorders DO exist.
#2 - I will continue to keep my belief that these disorders are over-diagnosed so that many parents and doctors have an easy way out.
#3 - The over-diagnosis is what makes it harder on the people who have these conditions.
#4 - According to many posts on here, my step-son would definitely be considered to have ADD, and yes, we have had people ask us if he has been diagnosed as such. My daughter's physical therapist has even asked.
#5 - Before you start attacking my beliefs, take a second and realize that I have been trying to stand up for the people who really have this - like your daughter. If I were you, I'd be more pissed that so many people who don't have it are trivializing it down to a matter of their kid getting bad grades or being the class clown (such as my son). So I suggest you realize when someone is trying to advocate for those kids out there who really do have it.

So no, it really doesn't bother me to be called a bitch because I choose to stand up for my beliefs.

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:

Well you just proved my point, all you really care about is the grades or he would be on the meds all the time. And I'm sure you are also happy that he was no longer inconveniencing you by making you go see the teachers every day. Sounds like you were embarrassed that your child was making you look bad. Of course there was a difference in his work, that's the same reason there are moms out there who take their kids Adderall and get ten times more housework done. I'm not saying the medication doesn't produce results. My problem is that you feel the need to get those results in the first place instead of allowing your child to be who they really are! And as a side note, I realize that ADD/ADHD does exist. There are children who have no control whatsoever and can even injure themselves and others, those are the children who need help. But this is overused as a cop out by parents who just want their kids to get the honor roll and not embarrass them. You are obviously one of those parents. I think it is disgusting that so many parents label their children this way - it is a dishonor to the children and families who truly suffer from these afflictions and disabilities. I'd hate to think of what it would be like if you had a child who couldn't be 'fixed' by a magic pill. I'm so sorry that you have been stuck with a child who was the class clown. I'm sure that now he is just as boring and dull as you want him to be. I think it is disgusting that you prefer the grades over your child being himself, probably a happy boy with loads of fun to share with you.


Pardon my languare miss but you are obviously a bitch that can not keep her god damn mouth shut.

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:

Apparently you people don't remember what it is like to be a child. ALL children naturally focus on things they are interested in, and seem to get sidetracked when they are asked to do something they don't particularly want to do. But let's just go ahead and medicate our kids because they don't sit still. THEY ARE CHILDREN! Children have energy, that is healthy! If your kids didn't get up and move I'd be worried. And of course when you change their diets and take away the high fructose corn syrup they have better focus. Everyone knows high carb diets cause instant energy and then a crash later. Wake up people!! Has anyone ever wondered why the incidence in ADD/ADHD has surged in the last 20 years? It's because we are all too busy and stressed out to realize that children are children. We are tired and worn out from work so we don't want to play with our children anymore, we just want them to sit down and shut up. We are too busy to cook real dinners with them and sit down together. Everything is pre-packaged junk now and we wonder why there are so many new afflictions in our children. Changing diets makes huge differences in children with ADD/ ADHD, autism, celiac's disease, etc. It's because what you put in is what you get out. Try spending more time with your kids, teach them to help cook nutritious meals, teach them to get outside and exercise. Sorry if I'm living in the past, but I believe that being a stay at home mom makes a huge difference in our children's behavior and abilities. And I'm not perfect, I have dirty dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry, but I make sure I spend as much time as possible playing with my kids and teaching them to be proud of who they are. Why would we teach our children that there is something wrong with them and that they need to be medicated? Why can't we all embrace our children as individuals instead of trying to stifle who they really are? I've seen lots of medicated kids who lose their 'spark' because who they really are is suppressed by the meds. But the parents are happy because they have perfect grades and don't cause trouble anymore. Is this what we really want for our children? To be perfect angels who have no personality of their own just so we can tell other parents that our kids are on the honor roll? Is that what is truly important? Stop and think about who you want your children to be.


ARE YOU OFF YOUR ROCKER LADY!



my 5 year old daughter has been on meds for ADHD/ODD for 6 months and they have made a huge impact on all of our lives. My child has ALWAYS recived a healthy organic diet, I have never given her pop and when she does get the ocasional treat it is very small (a couple gummy bears not a pack) she sleeps 12 hours a night and gets plenty of exercise because she is involed in gymnastics, tap and ballet. she is very bright working at a grade 3 level. My husband and I are on the same page for dicipline and she is on a predictable schedual and has been since infancy.



How dare you come on here and try to make others feel bad for something you obviously know nothing about.



My daughter has ADHD because my husband also has it. it is genetic in case you didnt know, she has ODD because I had it as a child and sometimes it comes hand in hand with ADHD.



We love our daughter and because of this decided to put her on medication. It was not an excuse for lazy parenting. Our daughter Is happier and more focused, she spends far less time in the naughty spot and more time thinking about her actions before taking a desicion weather to act on them or not.



she is able to spend the time to put detail into her drawings and working with small objects, something she would have became very fustrated before.



My child has a higher quality of life and our family as a whole has improved so mcuh because of the change in her.



I agree that some doctors in the USA are over diagnosing but I dont htink that is the case where I am from (CANADA) as I found it dificult to get her tested for it before she was enrolled in formal education. In canada they dont often diagnose children before the age of 6 but with her they could tell very soon after seeing her.



Before you sit their and judge everyone for chooseing meds why dont you try and see both sides of the story. Get off your high horse and put yuor self in that situation.  I hope you never have to deal with a child that suffers from this horrible condition because it really is no life for a child

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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thank you so much for your reply

as you say its easy for some one whose child does not have ADD/ADHD

Rabecca - posted on 05/11/2009

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I have an 8 year old who was dx'd in kindergarden he to has always been able to sit through movies and video games because if you think about it there minds are just moving as fast pased as what they are waltching/playing so they keep that stimulation they need but they are most lilkely getting over stimulated by what they are seeing . it's when things slow down he has the issues and of course my son has some issues with interaction with other kids. But it may help if you let us know what triates he does display. Yes there could be other things going on get if you want try getting a second oppion or maybe start some behavrol therapy which woul dbe something you may want to look into if in fact he does have ADHD .ADHD is a very touchy subject with alot of people as you can tell from the comments below but it is infact very real and very hard for people who do not have ADHD kids to even come close to knowing what it is like to have a chld with get lots of support and try not to let certain people tell you what is best for your child only you and your doctors can decide that we all want what is best for our kids no matter what the issue is

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