Advice needed!! Being told to stop nursing my son because he's to old!!

Mellie - posted on 06/04/2013 ( 63 moms have responded )

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My aunt who pretty much raised me is telling me I need to stop nursing my son who will be a year old June 25th because he is to old. She never nursed any of her children and thinks of it as a "taboo" thing to do. I on the other hand am VERY committed to breast feeding and plan to nurse him for as long as it is comfortable for the both of us. I need advice!!!! I'm so tired of hearing that "he's to old for that or you'll never be able to go back to work because your turning him in to a mamas boy or (and this is my favorite) that I'm messing him up mentally by breast feeding him so long. I'm at my wits end I don't want to be mean and tell her to mind her on business but I don't know how much more I can take. Any advice will be greatly appreciated! And thank you in advance.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

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First, accept that whatever you do will not change your aunt. You can change you. Sometimes less talking is more useful than too much. You don't need to debate, argue, and especially, you don't have to explain. Say, "It's right for us." or even, "You raised me to make good choices. That's what I'm doing." It's best said in a conversational tone. I respect you for your sensitivity for your aunt's feelings and you can easily say what's needed without being hurtful. When she is hurtful, you can stay calm inside; you'll feel empowered by your maturity in handling the situation.
I encourage you to set a firm boundary by telling her that it isn't ok to say these things in the presense of your child and/or while he's feeding., again using a conversational tone of voice. If she can't control her comments, your obligation to your son is to protect him by going to a different room or location where he won't be able to hear her comments.
You can get information about breastfeeding that you can print out for the public at www.healthychildren.org, which is operated by the American Academy of Pediatrics, and/or www.familydoctor.org, operated by the American Academy of Family Physicians, of which I'm a member. You may want to give that to her.
You may have to repeat the words I suggested several times. That's ok. You have peace inside.
This difference of opinions can also be seen as an opportunity to model for your son how adults handle conflict in a mature, respectful way.
This isn't really about breast-feeding anyway. It's about power and control. Perhaps your aunt is also feeling a bit of jealousy - now she's got more competition for your time.

I hope that helps. God bless.

Jodi - posted on 06/04/2013

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How old is he? The World Health Organisation actually recommends breastfeeding until AT LEAST two years of age. I'm sure there is a document out there somewhere quoting that if you want something to back you up. However, really, you need to be confident enough in your own choice to tell her that it isn't any of her business.

Zara - posted on 06/09/2013

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Oops hit post to soon!lol ......even adult health problems. If I were you I would look up all the statistics and show them to your aunt. Its even better for you. Each year that you breastfeed lowers your chance of getting breast cancer! If you breastfeed 3 years it would reduce your risk by 75% ...it always baffles me that nobody talks about the connection of the rise in breast cancer starting in the 50's and the rise in use of formula at the same time.....I breastfeed both my daughters and let them both naturally ween. My oldest self weaned at 15 months & my youngest at 13 months. Follow your mother's instinct, people will always offer their advice. Well meaning or not you have to decide what's best for you :))

Fae - posted on 06/07/2013

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Hi there Mellie,

Just one very simple piece of advice, well actually you've already said it. Feed YOUR baby (he's not your Aunts child and lucky for him!!) so you feed him until you BOTH feel comfortable with it. My first child now 3 and a half, fed until he was about 8 months, but only because I had very very little milk and he wanted more solids then. My daughter is two next month and she LOVES BOOBY! So why should I take that away from her. Until I'm happy to feed and she still asks for it!
Turning a child into a mam's boy at just one, hello, he's not 5 or 6 yrs old! You should stand up to her 'politely' at first, the firmly, then if need be, be as rude to her as she's being to you, by bossing you about and telling you what to do with your own child. DON'T stand for it. You had him and carried him, he's YOUR BABY. Perhaps she's a little envious, if she didn't or 'couldn't' feed any of her own. It sounds like she wants to take over and having you return to work perhaps she can have him more alone. It sounds like a nightmare. Actually rather like my own mother in law. Luckily I moved back to the UK from abroad so don't have her on my case all the time now. I do what I want when I want. Think about telling her that if she doesn't stop bossing you about, you may have to move away? A bit drastic perhaps but just to get her to realise you're not going to have her being so pushy! Best of luck. Well done for being so breastfeeding friendly, get those boobs out in public and lets change the way its perceived. I am ALL for it. Besides being the PERFECT nutriment for your child, there IS NO substitute for breast milk. It stores all the perfect vitamins and minerals for your child from the second you become pregnant so amazing mother nature is looking to provide the best start for your child. The longer you feed him the more protection against diseases you give him (lets not forget YOU too, best way to avoid breast cancer for you also!) even for his later life span. So there are SO many more pro's than con's if this helps you. Best of luck! X

Mary - posted on 06/04/2013

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Mellie, it sounds like the problem is less about breastfeeding and more about your aunt and her daughters being petty, controlling, and insecure women. Chances are, if you did anything else differently in parenting from them, they would belittle and beleaguer you about that as well. For some bizarre reason, a lot of women see motherhood as a competition. Some women are so insecure about how "well" they are doing that when they encounter someone who makes different choices, they feel the defensive need to put down those differing options. It sounds like your family sees your decision to EBF as an (indirect) rejection of their own parenting methods.

You could give them endless amounts of literature that extols all of the benefits of EBF, but I doubt they would ease up. If anything, it could make them even more defensive. Even though it wouldn't be you intention, they would probably see it as you saying you were a "better" mother because you were doing what was "best" for your baby - and they didn't. It's a bit of a no-win situation for you.

Be confident in your decision to nurse your baby for as long as you both desire. If your aunt or cousins start to pick on you over it, simply smile and say "I appreciate your concern", but do not engage them further.

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63 Comments

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Bo - posted on 06/10/2013

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Thats kind of a joke. Shes a joke. People are stupid. Don't make a big issue out if this. You know what to do.

Gina - posted on 06/10/2013

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Do what's right for you and your son. This really isn't your aunt's business. People in other countries nurse for much longer than a year and have healthy, well-adjusted children.

Stormi - posted on 06/10/2013

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My advice is to do what you feel is best of your and your child. There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding your child well past one year of age. People who tell you otherwise often have a negative view of breastfeeding in the first place or often just don't understand the benefits for both you and your child. As long as it is comfortable for you and for your child to continue I believe that you should. There will come a natural time to stop and you will know when that is. Also, if you would like to go back to work you can even though you are breastfeeding. I know a great mother who went back to work when her little girl was only 6 weeks old. She really didn't want to but it was something she had to do. She continued to pump milk for her child while she was working and breastfeeding her while she was home with her. Her little girl is a year and a half now and is still getting the breast during the evenings when she is home with mom and both are very happy about the situation. I guess what I'm trying to say in all of this is it is okay to continue feeding as long as it is what you and baby want. Only you can truly know when the right time to stop is. Don't let others (even family) push you into something you and baby are not ready for.

Belinda - posted on 06/10/2013

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Hi Mellie,
First let me say I agree with the resounding supportive comments above! It's so good to know there is such a community out there for Mothers to connect to. I wish I'd had this years ago.
I hope you don't mind me being direct but it sounds to me from what you say...that problem lies with you and your aunt, and your relationship dynamic...not whether you nurse past a year or not sweetie?!

Chances are your aunt has just begun to share her parenting opinions! Try to set it straight with her now if you can. This sort of personality doesn't back off easily, if she's already inappropriately vocal and judgemental, take it as a hint of what's to come and prepare yourself.

There are so many challenging areas of parenting you'll confront as your child grows up, where you may lack confidence simply because they are new experiences for you. You'll need positive help and support to grow your confidence, I'm sure she'll understand this. Maybe if you let her know this, that you value her experience where it's valid, but this is one area she needs to respect you and her differ, and it's your right to choose for you and your children, as it was hers.

Choosing to breastfeed your baby is a personal, natural, healthy choice for you both, why she feels she has any right to intrude into such a personal area of your adult life and pass such subjective judgements is something to take time to consider, not whether you breastfeed past a year! That's not her decision to make, it's yours!

I breast fed all four of my children, and my first was a 28 wk preemie. I must have spent about 7 years of my life nursing my babies! My last was 22 mths when he weaned completely. It wasn't always easy or enjoyable and sometimes it wasn't convenient, but it was always my choice...and it should be yours!

My mother didn't breast feed, infact I can't imagine he ever doing such an unschedulable, personally contacting activity. In fact it wasn't until I was sitting in icu with my tiny daugther and the nurse told me I should pump that I'd even considered the matter. I went with my instinct and my child thrived! So much more gets communicated though nursing, it's not all about health or nutrition it's about connection and intimacy and love. These are aspects your aunt cannot know as you do, this you can trust!

Time passes very quickly and you'll be looking back at this time in your life before you know it, believe me! There are plenty of things we as parents reflect on as we look back, wiser for our experiences and all those years of parenting and learning we make it through. Breast feeding your child, for however long you choose, isn't one of those issues you need to second guess. Do what's right for you!
Try to address your relationship with your aunt, this is my advice. Sounds to me like you're a very caring mama! Enjoy this precious time.
Best wishes! Bella

Sandra - posted on 06/10/2013

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Mamas need to listen to their own wisdom. My daughter (born in 1976) nursed until she was four---by then it was for comfort. I'm convinced that it influenced her health. She had no ear infections or respiratory illnesses as a toddler. We had a supportive pediatrician. La Leche League or a professional lactation nurse can give you support.
Do the right thing for you and your baby...........whatever it is.

Tammy - posted on 06/10/2013

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Do what's right for you and your baby! No matter what you do there is always someone on the other side. Tell her thanks for her opinion! N let it go! We can't please everyone. I have to say when I was younger I let everyone dictate every decision n as I started having health issues I became less worried about what others had to say, with that everyone stopped talking to me because I wasn't that push over anymore! We can live our family n stick behind them but we can't please them. Choose u n your baby!!

Heather - posted on 06/10/2013

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My auntie has 7 kids and breastfeeds every one of them up to one year old. I think there is nothing wrong with it up to that point. But maybe when they are old enough for preschool it would be good to consider a sippy cup? just a thought. Best of luck.

Zara - posted on 06/09/2013

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It makes me so angry whenever I hear about someone bagering a breastfeeding mother! A woman doing the best for her child, let tell her to stop. I personally feel anyone who thinks it's weird, has issues. God made our bodies for breastfeeding. That what breasts are made for! I always say anything else is bonus!lol
Back before the days of formula, grocery stores, and food at every corner. Women would on average breastfeed till 3 or 4 because it was a major source or nutrition. As that need became less because food became more available the average age dropped. Then the 50's came and formula hit the selves. I think convince out weighted what was best, but in their defence they didn't have any real studies done of the outcome. But now we know that breastfeeding lowers the risks of so many health problems. Like childhood cancer reduces by 70%! Allergies60%

Lily - posted on 06/08/2013

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I have five children and I breasted all of them for as long as I could, which was about 14 for my three eldest but for my last two, who are twin girls, I only had enough milk to nurse for four months. My personal opinion is... One year is definitely not too old. But your child will definitely let you know when they are ready to ween. I wouldn't force it...

Sierra - posted on 06/08/2013

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It becomes creepy after a certain age, but 1 is not to long. God created us to breastfeed not to let it go to waste. :) i say do what makes your child and urself comfortable and screw everyone elses opinion, even mine :P

Alisha - posted on 06/08/2013

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I nursed my daughter until she was 2. I just stop telling people unless they ask and insist to know if I still nurse. I would tell her it's every mothers choice how long to nurse and it's good for kids to nurse 1 or 2 years according to doctors so there's no problem if you decide 2 or 3 or 4 years. You're the mother and you won't mess your kid up. That's a disgusting thing to think because people are sexualizing nursing when it's for bonding and nourishment for your baby just starting out. I just would do it while you're covered up or do it in private places if you're concerned about comments. It's definitely not the first thing you will have this issue about, that's what it means to be a parent. You stand up for you and your child's choices no matter who disagrees.

Victoria - posted on 06/08/2013

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I breast feed both of my girls and plan to do so with our son (who is due in 2 weeks). Both girls stopped nursing around 14 months. My oldest was just sort of done AND I was 6 weeks pregnant with Little Sister. Little Sister was pretty much done at 14 months but she started chaffing the tar out of me with her little teeth. I didn't feel bad about stopping because she LOVED eating big girl food just like her sister (she also decided that baby food was for babies after 6 weeks)!
Most mommies I know aim for 18 months of BF. Because my kids are close together, I don't mind that they stopped when they did. We just have lots of snuggle time now!

Jakki - posted on 06/08/2013

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If it freaks people out to breastfeed a toddler in public, I'd just do it at home and then nobody would need know about it.

I breast fed my last child until she was 3 but it was only once a day (when we woke up) and I didn't mention it to other people. I wasn't ashamed of it, but it was just something that was private between us and I didn't want people to be criticising me about it.

Rachel - posted on 06/07/2013

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Emma Flavell "I nursed my son until he was 14 months old, frankly, who cares? You certainly shouldn't, you see, this is the one thing in your life that you and only you have any control over, and that is being Mum to your baby. Tell Aunty to get with the times, and point three factors out which are undeniable, non negotiable, and not subject to debate , Your Breasts, your Baby Your choice. Then, run, run as fast as you can before she whoops yo ass!!!"



OMG! This had me cracking up sooo much! I had to read this to my husband!

Fae - posted on 06/07/2013

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You're welcome. When it comes to being a mum, especially in the early days, I learned...everyone around you has an opinion. Just remember to do what feels right for you and what you want to do right by your baby. Forget all the comments and suggestions, even mine. Just take the bits that are useful and filter the information to make sense of some things you need help with. I think its all about gut feeling in the end. Best of luck and do let us know what happens.

Raelyn - posted on 06/07/2013

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Not too old at all. I nursed my first until just about a year old. However, I did follow her lead on nursing and when to wean. By 9 months she was nursing very little and by 10 only in the morning, then she stopped at night. By 11 months she only nursed in the morning. Then one day she didn't and I was ok with that. Often times moms nurse too long because they might miss the connection and the children don't know the difference. Children will wean them selves if given the chance. It is a matter of paying attention. But, no, your son is not too old.

Susanne - posted on 06/07/2013

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I breast fed my daughter until she was just short of three years old. Lot of people giving me attitude about it. When I stopped, we both wanted it and she is perfectly "normal" today at 11. We have a strong healthy bond. Don't let others "bully" you into doing what they think is right. We are all different and have different wants and needs. Follow your own instincts. Just because your aunt raised you, doesn't mean she "owns" you and have the right to dictate what you are to do. Just tell her you respect her opinion and appreciate her advice and will take it into consideration and then do what you feel is right for you and your son.

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A person's power is greater when one speaks in a respectful tone. It honors the person speaking to do it with grace and dignity. Anger, rudeness, verbal battles are not more effective than a calm voice and fewer words. "Mind your own damn business!" is not more effective than "I'll do what's best." (Mellie - I know you agree and I'm saying it in general.) Self control, grace and dignity are POWERFUL! It sets the right example for kids. I'm not saying that it's wrong to be angry or hurt or whatever. I'm talking about showing up to life with calm and self-control is infinitely more powerful and persuasive than who has the sharpest tongue.

Breast feeding is NOT the most powerful way of preventing breast cancer. It can help, but it isn't number one and no woman should have to fear that her risk of breast cancer is greater because she didn't breastfeed. We need to be careful about the "facts" we toss around in the heat of emotion. I lose power if I try to reinforce my opinion with vehement claims in the heat of the emotional moment.

How do I know this? I've made some colossal messes by doing it wrong, and for years have practiced self-restraint very deliberately until it started to come naturally, and I still can mess up. But there's a whole lot more times I kept my mouth shut until I was in control and VERY glad I did, than times I regret not shooting off my mouth in the heat of argument. Having self-control doesn't mean I'm weak. Quite the opposite.

Mellie - posted on 06/07/2013

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All you ladies have been great!! I am shocked by all the support and encouragement you all have shown me. I just want to say a big thank you to each of you. When I posted my question I expected maybe 3 or 4 responses but y'all have come out in big numbers to support this breast feeding mommy lol ;) thank y'all again your advice and stories and encouragement has helped me in many ways!

Makha - posted on 06/07/2013

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Hi, Mellie! it will be best if u nurse your son until he is two years old at least. it is good for the both of you, health wise and in building your relationship

Gwen - posted on 06/06/2013

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I breastfed my daughter until 20mths. She naturally stopped her daytime feeds by 13-14mths and continued night time feeds until she naturally stopped at round 20mths. My sister, god bless her, struggled to breast feed at all because she just didn't make enough milk and she was upset when she stopped trying to breastfeed her son at 7mths. She commended me on how long I went with my daughter.
In short, just do what you makes you and your child happy and content. Stuff every one else. They all have opinions, and that's just that, opinions. They don't know you or you child and you know what's what. Keep your head up high girl.

JANTU - posted on 06/06/2013

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I breasfed my son who is now 6 till he was 2. But i would never take advice from someone who has not breastfed before

Renee - posted on 06/06/2013

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I breastfed my now 6 year old until he was 2 years old. I had a lot of support from family until he was about 9 months then everyone said I should start weaning him. Neither of us were ready to wean. He stopped a week after his second birthday on his own. He is now a very smart, healthy, independent little boy.
You do what is best for you and your son. You won't regret it in the long run.
Good luck!

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/06/2013

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Who cares what they say? No one should make you feel bad for doing the best thing for your child. I learned that people will try and put others down when they feel inferior. No one else put the hard work into breastfeeding and watching you brestfeed makes them feel less than. You created a bond( amongst all the other amazing health benefits for both you and baby ) between you and your child that is irreplaceable and that's worth any amount of flack you might receive from others in my opinion. I had a lady telling me how "disgusting" it was to let my baby nurse from my breast, and I seen in her eyes that she was trying to find a way to put me down in her head to feel better about herself and It didn't bother me one bit bc I knew I was doing the right thing for me. Congrats on being a leader and not a follower and you'll never regret breastfeeding a day in your life

Alicia - posted on 06/06/2013

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public health in canada recommends breast feeding until at least one year of age however 2 years is best. just remember tho that there is a time when he will be too big to breast feed i dated a guy who breast fed until he was 6 yrs old so just becareful that he doesnt get too attached to it. but other then that you go girl and dont listen to what your aunt says. as long as everything else is going good and his teeth are being brushed after a nurse and he goes to bed right after teeth then have at'er. milk in his mouth after a nurse before bed will rot his teeth so nurse, teeth, and if he wants a bottle in bed bottle with water.

Stacy - posted on 06/06/2013

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You shouldnt listen to anyone elses opinions but your own. You should nurse your son as long as you want to. Stand up and let her know that you are going to do what you think is best as a mother and you hope that she would respect that.

Dont let her get to you, its not worth it, just stand up and tell her how you feel, when you do that she should realize she needs to back down and not bother you about it anymore

Erin - posted on 06/06/2013

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Ignore your Aunt. You've made a decision to nurse for as long as you see fit and it's no one else's business. My daughter is 40 months old and still nurses at least 3 times a day. She is healthy, smart, and very well adjusted. Since my husband has no problem with the nursing and neither does our pediatrician, I don't really care what anyone else thinks. Stand up to your Aunt and tell her to butt out or keep your feedings a secret, regardless, he is your son and you need to make the decisions you think are best for him and you. Good luck!

Tina Marie - posted on 06/06/2013

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Next time ask her to share with you the resource she has about a required age limit....there isn't any. Or just politely inform her that, "it's your family's personal business and you will NOT discuss it with her,,, would you like to discuss something else?"

Kelsey - posted on 06/05/2013

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Sorry, Bonnie, That's what my ex MIL said, 'That my pedi doesn't know what's she's talking about.' It's just about standing your ground as a parent and not let MIL's or anyone tell you differently.

Bonnie Jeanne - posted on 06/05/2013

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Why did the doctor not know what she was talking about? I didn't understand that, sorry.
A mother cannot use the doctor talk as a threat....it's just a tool; and you don't even have to have discussed it at all with your doctor.
Just using a statement with doctor included in it will close the opportunity for more jabs, comments, bad information. It must be delivered as a statement....even walk away afterward. "My pediatrician told me it's good for the baby (if you want to leave out the "me" ending)". I used it myself when I was a new mom (I am a grandmother now) on many a rude mean uncle and other relatives. You have to kind of give a 'cold shoulder' with a polite offense. It helps to have the father of the baby also there.
Anything said beyond the statement in defense is only opening the door. Being polite will drive a new mother crazy at times. Good luck.

Kelsey - posted on 06/05/2013

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Bonnie, sometimes the doctor threat doesn't work. I tried it myself when my MIL said that my son needed to stop breastfeeding because it was making him 'fat.' Apparently my pediatrician doesn't know what's she's talking about either.

Bonnie Jeanne - posted on 06/05/2013

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Unfortunately, family members are not necessarily being negative (though it sure gets to be within the dynamic of hurt feelings, frustration, overpowering feeling)....they just truly BELIEVE that they know what to do; it's part of their belief system. They think they're being well-intending most of the time. I do not defend this type of behavior...only that because they believe it...no convincing with pamphlets work with these type of people. I recommended in another comment that a mother just say the doctor said it was good for the baby and the mother. Case closed after that. "The doctor said". It must be said with conviction and no open-endedness about it. Even ol' Uncle Harry ("Geez, when is that kid going to stop doing that? He'll be doing it in kindergarten!") at the Thanksgiving Day table will act a little intimidated by calling doc into the picture.....but he WILL back off and not direct defense had to be taken by the nursing mom. Using the doctor IS the defense.

Bonnie Jeanne - posted on 06/05/2013

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I agree....if nothing else works, just don't let the family know. It IS possible. Members of my own family didn't know I was still nursing my last born until 3. We just didn't 'go there'. Better all round.

Bonnie Jeanne - posted on 06/05/2013

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As a former pre-natal educator and birthing doula for 20 years, and La Leche League leader..... (not to mention I nursed one of my babies until they were 3!).....here's how it's done and sanity kept.
According to the hundreds of moms-to-be I've taught how to do this, the #1 most effective way to back off family (the worst!) and friends bothering a nursing mother (and her partner/husband) is making the statement that "My DOCTOR Said Nursing Was Good For the BABY AND ME". You have to SAY IT OUT LOUD to those you want to stop telling you it's wrong. Your partner/husband, if they are in your immediate life, must be in total compliance with this, and stand right beside you when you make this actual statement to family at the July 4th gathering, to use an example where there's a congregation of people of interest all willing to share their opinion. If you're single (single moms get it in triples because everyone thinks they need tons of advice because they're, well, single----but their instincts run just as strong as moms with partners actually).
If you close the opinion opportunity by saying the DOCTOR said you could and should....the case is closed. No more open window for comments.

Most people do not run off to the baby's doctor's office and tell the doctor the baby can't breastfeed anymore because they're too old, it's awful, it will ruin them, etc. People, even those harping on it at home....just aren't going to run on over to the office and do this. That's why it works. And most pediatricians really do think it's a great idea for mom and baby anyway.

You can do it....and you have legions of nursing mothers backing you! ♥

Kourtney - posted on 06/05/2013

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Geez, he's only a year old! Do whatever is right for you and him especially.

Kim - posted on 06/05/2013

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I nursed my daughter until she was 2 and I felt it was time to stop. A lot of people gave me grief, and I have to say, I got pretty used to telling people to butt out! THey will get over it in time, if you are important to them. It is such a good thing for you and baby, anyone who tries to tell you otherwise incessantly needs to be told to stop judging what is right for you!

Emma - posted on 06/05/2013

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I nursed my son until he was 14 months old, frankly, who cares? You certainly shouldn't, you see, this is the one thing in your life that you and only you have any control over, and that is being Mum to your baby. Tell Aunty to get with the times, and point three factors out which are undeniable, non negotiable, and not subject to debate , Your Breasts, your Baby Your choice. Then, run, run as fast as you can before she whoops yo ass!!!

Amanda - posted on 06/05/2013

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society makes it so hard doesn't it and then to add family to it makes it even harder. when it comes to your child you do what your heart tells you and what makes you and your baby happy!!
i follow badass breastfeeding on face book. she also has a course she emails out. its very expensive but there is a free one she sends out with great advise on the basics to dealing with partners, family and the public. She gives you some great tips on what to say to people who give you a hard time.
check it out. if you have trouble finding it shoot me a message and your e-mail and i will forward them to you.
good luck! and happy breast feeding. :)

Mellie - posted on 06/04/2013

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To Allyson Avery, thank you so much for that link. It helped me more than you know and I also posted it on Facebook "for all my family to see" lol and I also put on the caption that I planned to let my son self wean and that I know some people probably wouldn't understand but I'm doing what I think is best for my son! I hope this helps with my problem but even if it don't hopefully they will at least read it and get some information! Although I am hoping they get my point :):) thank you again!! And thank you to everyone else for all your helpful advice and stories!

Dolc - posted on 06/04/2013

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What a shame you have to deal with that negativity in your ffamily. I think hand her a infamation pamphlet and ask her to do her research and politely tell her to mind her own business!
congratulations for making it to one year! your doing an amazing job!

Allyson - posted on 06/04/2013

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Mellie,

Try not to take it personally; your parenting choice has obviously generated a touchy emotion in your aunt. Keep in mind that her feelings are not about you, but about herself. Above all, know that you are making the right choices for you and your baby and don't allow unsolicited comments to shake your confidence!

From my experience, the easiest and most natural time to wean is when your child leads the process. I nursed my sons (now 16, 8 & 4; brilliant and well adjusted I might add) until they were just over 24 months; they all gave me signs that they were ready and self-weaned. I like Anne Smith’s article on the subject. She shares her tips and challenges for long-term nursing, child-led weaning and other matters she confronted while nursing her six children, http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/artic...

Peace & Blessings,

Allyson

Dove - posted on 06/04/2013

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One year is NOT too old. It is recommended to nurse to 2 years or beyond, so you are doing just fine.

Personally, I would tell her that he is not too old and that this is your kid and your business and if she can't respect that then she doesn't need to be around you guys. I was luckily blessed w/ a very supportive family and while they may not have understood me nursing my son for 'so long' (3 years).... they respected me enough as a mother to support me.

Kristine - posted on 06/04/2013

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Mellie,

I have three kids. My first I breastfed until he was 11 months. Then, I had to stop because I was pregnant with my second and we were afraid there might be a problem. I had to have an amnio and the doctor said that breastfeeding causes contractions, and that it might be safer if I stopped. My daughter was fine and when she was born I breastfed her for 10 months. After that, she was too mobile and just didn't have the time for it. My third one, another boy, I breastfed until he was two.

Now, a couple of things. I think all of my kids are good kids. They are teens - almost grown - now. My oldest is 17. He is very strong-willed and opinionated (not necessarily in a bad way). He won't do a dang thing in school and will probably not graduate from high school next year without some serious intervention. My daughter is 16. She is slightly less of a slacker than her older brother, but is not a "pleaser" by any stretch.

Then there is my youngest. He is 13. He is truly the most well-rounded. It could be that I had learned what to do by the time he came along; who knows. He plays Hockey, Soccer and Football. He gets good grades. He is competitive. He does what I ask of him.

I've always wondered if there was something to the fact that he was breastfed twice as long as the other two. Guess we can't ever know....just an interesting thought.

Keep it up.

Oh, and as far as family goes, if you can avoid them knowing; do so. My mother thinks my kids were potty trained LONG before they were!! ;p

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2013

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Tell her to shove it. :) She may not be too informed on the benefits from breast feeding. You might have to stay the better person and just let her words pass on by :)

Kelsey - posted on 06/04/2013

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Mellie, We all have 'those' kinds of family members. Just keep doing what you're doing. My ex MIL and my ex were all gung ho breastfeeding at first. When, I had told them I was thinking about breastfeeding for a year or even longer. They flipped their shit. My ex, at some point, told me to quit breastfeeding.

I told him; hell no.

Now, my son and I have been breastfeeding for 13 months with no signs of quitting from his end.

Just tell them, 'If you don't like it; you don't have to look. I'm going to take care of my child as I see fit." Maybe that will get them to shut their piehole.

Mellie - posted on 06/04/2013

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Thank all you wonderful ladies for all the advice and for the encouraging stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone lol. Where I'm from if a mother breast feeds after birth (and those are few and far between) they only do so for a few weeks. I don't know why maybe they quit because the first few weeks is kinda painful or maybe they are uncomfortable about it, but to see one still doing so at a year is basically unheard of ( yes,I'm from the south.. Mississippi to be exact, hardly any women even try breast feeding here) I have done research on breast feeding in Mississippi and Mississippi is one of the lowest states on the list all because women are uninformed or as a past poster said they look at their breast as sexual objects. It all stems from being uneducated (Mississippi pubic school systems are some of the lowest) but I want get into that. Anyway thanks again ladies your words of encouragement were lovely. And to Lana and Lakota I wish I was brazen enough to say those things but unless it just gets completely out of hand I doubt I can, but I do appreciate your fiery personalities :) I wish I was that way sometimes,maybe I wouldn't have so much trouble dealing with certain family members. Anyway, thank you all again!

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