alcohol at my son's 1st birthday?

Keshia - posted on 07/24/2010 ( 89 moms have responded )

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Im having my sons 1st bday party at a family members house august 5th. I dont think alcohol should be at a childs birthday party at all, but since Im having it at someone elses house how do I go about telling people I dont want it there? Me and my fiance dont drink at all but all of our family does. I dont want them to get mad so whats a good way to say it without sounding rude?

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Lisa - posted on 07/26/2010

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u stay with ur heart , u dont drink , u dont need that around ur child family or not, ur choosing whats best for your- child not anyone eles... sounds like u already know whats best !!!!

Cynthia - posted on 07/26/2010

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If folks use alcohol responsibly, what's the problem? The child won't know or care. And, wont the child be around these people his whole life?

Tracy - posted on 07/26/2010

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I didn't want alcohol at my baby shower, but my ex decided on a kegger.... And again at the first birthday. His friends all think kid birthdays are appropriate times for them to get loaded. Now if we do a bday party for the kids together, I suggest places that don't ALLOW it. :) My bf and I don't drink around my kids, period. I can tell you, my 8 yr old really appreciates it too.

Jenny - posted on 07/26/2010

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In my family birthdays are for everyone regardless of who's birthday it actually is. Adult birthday's and children's generally have the same all age range of people and activites.

I disagree first birthday's are monumental. The kids don't care or notice so no, it's not all about the kids. We had family over for cake and presents, had a couple of beverages, took some pictures and called it a success.

Brandi - posted on 07/26/2010

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This actually happened to me. We had the party at our house and some of the guests decided that a party wasn't a party unless there was beer. They left and came back with a whole bunch of stuff. I freaked out and my husband ended up telling them that they needed to keep the stuff outside and away from the rest of the guests. Needless to say, they were never invited again. I don't think it's appropriate to serve anything at a child's party that the children can't have. Could you try to tactfully tell the family that you want to keep this whole event kid friendly, and that maybe you could all get together for a smaller event on another day where they can have what they want?

Julie - posted on 07/26/2010

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I just had my daughters 7th and our neighbor showed up plastered. He acted way out of control.So I am with you an no alcohol at kids birthday parties. Ask to go over the menu..when accohol is brought up let them know after the childs party they can drink all they want but you prefer it to be after the festivities for the lill ones.

Elsa - posted on 07/25/2010

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as you plan for the party make a casual comment that this is the most exiting party you've ever hosted/preparing for and perhaps you could say "oh my this is my 1st none alcohol party" and see where the subttle comment takes the conversation

Abbie - posted on 07/25/2010

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We haven't had booze at our sons birthday but, not because we feel its bad, we both drink socially. We hold it where I work, and we always do a short party. Also what we did for his 2nd birthday party, was we did a breakfast party. We did it @ 9 am til 11 am. We served juice, coffee, and bagels, fruit & all that. We did it at that time of day for a few reasons........... 1) I didnt want to do a whole day thing, gets to be WAY too long for everyone!! 2) I didn't want to serve a meal 3) It wouldn't interupt nap times 4) most kids are more awake and happier in the morning.

Maybe change the time that way you don't need to worry about it, but if you keep with the same time and place, I guess I would just not say anything.

Riki - posted on 07/25/2010

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I always have my parties at a lake with a park. keeps the kids busy...plus you don't have to worry about the "other peoples" house rules. Alcohol shouldn't be at a first birthday party i think, to each their own i suppose. you could possibly ask people to please refrain from drinking until the party for him is over then they can PaRTY ON!!

Keshia - posted on 07/25/2010

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yes i called the park and recreation and the only thing that was available was the indoor a/c shelter at the zoo which is $80 for 3 hours which is crazy I did a facebook invite to all the friends and family and put "kid friendly" so hopefully they will understand what i mean and next year we plan on renting the sandlot out which has a shelter volley ball baseball and playground for kids so hopefully we get it before all these graduation parties around his birthday

Katherine - posted on 07/25/2010

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Do you hav t rent out the pavillion? At the park? I took a chance lol and mine wasn't reserved so I grabbed it.

Well, have you asked them yet?

Meghan - posted on 07/25/2010

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I think the first few birthdays are about mommy too! Yes it celebrates the birth and first year-but I had some part in all of that right? My son doesn't remember it and let's be honest he had NO CLUE what was going on. No one needs to get hammered but I don't find anything wrong with people having a few drinks to celebrate mommies job well done. If you really have a problem with it, yes a park bday would be awesome-plus the fresh air will tucker the little ones out!

Jessica - posted on 07/25/2010

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I dont know why most people think alcohol has to be invited to every celebration! I just threw my Mom a surprise 50th birthday party at the church and there was NO alcohol. But we had a blast with all the black decor...our soft drinks were enough for us. My daughter is about to turn 1 herself and there will be ABSOLUTELY NO alcohol at her party. We dont drink, so why would I allow someone else to at her party? While the child is not really old enough to recognize that it is their party, it is still their day. Talk to the aunt and tell her how you feel. Good luck!

Brittany - posted on 07/25/2010

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I dont agree with alcohol being at at a baby's 1st birthday!But the park would be great too have it at .Good luck.And Im SORRY ppl but its not an adult party (its celebrating the birth of that child's 1st year )but hey thats just how i feel&prolly some other Moms too.It was all about my baby when he turned 1 nobody else!!!!

Kelly - posted on 07/25/2010

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i dont think alcohol should be at any child birthday because i think its the kids day not the adults day that how i feel sorry guys :)

Angie - posted on 07/25/2010

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I have to disagree with Amanda. First and foremost, this is your child and you get to make the rules about what he is or is not exposed to. If the person who is hosting the party can't abide by your rules, have the party elsewhere. I think the park idea is a great alternative.

Keshia - posted on 07/25/2010

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Thanks everyone the "kid friendly" thing is a good idea I never thought of that and yes we already plan on having it at a park next year but this year with paying for a wedding and stuff we didnt have the money to rent a place

Katherine - posted on 07/25/2010

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The park is a great idea. I had 3 of my daughters party's there.

You're kind of in a pickle. While it IS appropriate these days to have alcohol at birthday parties(I'm just not a fan of it) it is your child's party and you should be able to have it the way you want it.

SOOO that being said try the park if they aren't willing....

Donna - posted on 07/25/2010

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I disagree with that, sure you can have a gathering without the alcohol, there's plenty of time for that when the adults birthdays come around.

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And why do people have to drink to celebrate anyway whether it be for a child or other? I understand your situation and some people have said its rude to tell the host what they can or cannot do but I view it as its your CHILDS party not theirs they are just opening up their home to you which is very gracious I am not an anti drinker or anything but you never know who is going to be responsible and who is not when consuming alcohol especially with a large group of people. try to shoot for next year being at a place targeted for children like Chuck E Cheese, Jokers, ect. Good luck!! =)

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Well I think that where it is a "Childs" birthday party not an adults this should just be common sense for them BUT hmmmm I would just talk to the person who is opening their home to you and calmly just tell them you hope they are not offended but you really would rather not have anyone drinking at your sons Birthday Party and if you havent sent out the invites yet maybe out on them" Kid Friendly"...I hope this helps, not quite sure what the politically correct answer is for that one =) Good luck!!! Doint be afraid to say something otherwise it will ruin your time with your baby turning the Big 1 and you may feel resentful.

Krystal - posted on 07/25/2010

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we didnt have any alcohol at our sons 1st birthday, but we held it at our house because we have a decent sized house, i really dont think alcohol should be at a 1 year olds birthday party but then thats just they way i have grown up, my mother has 4 children i am the youngest of 4 and at all of our birthday partys there was no alcohol at all untill we all were 16 then we were aloud the 1 drink under mums supervision. every one is different and has different views on it. i understand that its being held at someone elses house but they are not your sons mum so in fairness you should get a say in the rules ect for the party, i would sit down with his aunt and both of you come up with some rules ect that you will both agree on. or like what jen has said maybe have the kids party during the day then have a time at the evening/night were you can all relax and have a few glasses to celebrate. good luck and best wishes and i hope your son has a very happy 1st birthday :) x

Amanda - posted on 07/24/2010

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Thanks ladies, a family member thinks Im nuts because my youngest and her fathers bdays are 5 days apart, and we ALWAYS hold their partys together. His theory is hes 34 he doesnt need any more adult partys, he enjoys his birthday with a beer, and watching his little one open presents.

If you wanna make up the rules to a birthday party, you need to host it yourself. Its rude to tell anyone what they can and can not serve at their home. As someone said have it at a park, or a indoor playground.

And yes there is a huge difference between responsible drinking and getting drunk, and nothing wrong with a few drinks at a birthday party no matter the age.

Jen - posted on 07/24/2010

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why dont you have a kids birthday in the day and then invite all the adults at night to come over and celebrate thats what my sister in law does and she has her sons party at her moms house which is their house now becrcause her rmom and dad have their smaller house.

Victoria - posted on 07/24/2010

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i agree with you 100% u just ask if you all can just enjoy babyboi and have fun that way

[deleted account]

I am uncomfortable around any amount of alcohol, so I understand how you feel. Not sure how to diplomatically handle your situation though. Good luck!

Mary - posted on 07/24/2010

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I agree with Jane that you might want to consider having it at the park. There is less clean up and everyone goes home!!!!! Otherwise people hang around even when the party is over!

Jane - posted on 07/24/2010

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Hiya Keisha,
I am a lot like you in that I don't think it's appropriate to have alcohol at a 1 year olds party!!
My hubby and I aren't big drinkers, but to be honest, the idea of having alcohol at our little ones party never even entered our heads and not 1 adult who came to his party ( and there were about 20), bought any either. We had it down at the park, and all the adults drank and ate what everyone else did...water/juice/soft drink/whatever !!
Its a hard thing in that since you are having it at someone elses place, you can't really dictate anything, but you can try asking and see what response you get!!
Good luck hun x x

Jodi - posted on 07/24/2010

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Loureen, my son's birthday is the same day as my husband's! So we have to double up often too :)

Jodi - posted on 07/24/2010

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Thanks Keisha, but no, we aren't crazy, just have a different point of view. To be perfectly honest, it isn't unusual to go to a kid's birthday party here at any age) and be offered a glass of champagne or a wine or beer, along with the tea and coffee.

Charlie - posted on 07/24/2010

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Well actually my childs 1st birthday is the same day as his dads 30th so no im not crazy and i guess we have different views on responsible drinking and an adults ability to enjoy a beverage at a celebration , anyway i hope you can find a way to have your party the way you want it i certainly dont think their is anything wrong with asking them to not drink at your child's party but i also dont think their is anything wrong with adults enjoying a celebratory drink in moderation in the end it is quiet the predicament , its her house but its a party for your son , fingers crossed for you that you and your family can work something out :)

Keshia - posted on 07/24/2010

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thanks for agreeing I was like are these people crazy it IS for the child its THEIR birthday not yours wow...and we live in a apartment so we dont have room for people I was going to have it at my parents but they are going through a divorce and getting rid of their house and everything so I asked my fiances aunt if we could have it at her house since she has a good size yard Im going to take a baby pool and some water guns and stuff for the kids to play and my fiance has a huge family so its the only place really big enough for everyone and I waited too long to rent a place because there are so many graduation parties and family get togethers going on around here at this time...we live in a small town so not much to choose from

Katherine - posted on 07/24/2010

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I have to disagree. Although it's for the adults: a first birthday party is monumental and alcohol REALLY doesn't need to be there. Is there a reason someone else is hosting this? Did they offer? If so then I would ask them nicely to serve no drinks. I totally understand because I don't drink either.
So when my husband always wanted booze at my girls parties I would get annoyed.

Sherri - posted on 07/24/2010

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If it is being done at someone else's home you really can't say what they can or can't serve at there own home. If you really are that against it you will need to move it most likely to your own home. Also I really don't see an issue with it either as long as the guest are not looking to get plastered.

Jodi - posted on 07/24/2010

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I agree with Loureen, that if the family are hosting the party it could be difficult. If you were to host it, you can have it any way you choose, but the only real alternative for you at the moment is to just ask nicely. However, IMO, I can't see the problem with having the alcohol, as long as no-one is planning on getting drunk around the kids.......

Charlie - posted on 07/24/2010

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Hehe sounds like our first birthday for Cooper , Jodi !


Anyway Keisha all you can do is ask politely but seeing as it is their house it is being hosted at it really will be up to them i guess the only way to really make it a non alcohol event is to have it at your house you could say " i would really appreciate it if we could make this a kids party without the alcohol it would mean a lot to me " they will either say yes or no , all you can do is ask i suppose .

Jodi - posted on 07/24/2010

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Let's be honest, a 1st birthday is about the adults, not the child. With both my kids, the 1st birthday party was really a get together for the adults to celebrate, and we had a BBQ and beer.....

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