am i a bad mom?

Ana - posted on 01/02/2010

Don't think that because you ARE NOT!!! My son left the nappys with almost 4 years old... one day i told him you are going to daycare and the kids will laught at you, its better to do it soon.... 2 nights after he went alone to bathroom during the night and until now (hes 10 years old) never again and even never pee in the bed.
Good luck and just give him hes time and space.

Elisa - posted on 01/02/2010

You are a good mom each child is differnt what workd for one doesnt work for antoher . My children are polar opisites in some ways.

Jessica - posted on 01/02/2010

Every child does it when they are ready. If you want to help him the only thing that ever worked for us was to go cold turkey. No more diapers. Straight into underwear. It is messy but it works. But I believe they show signs when they are ready.

My sister in-law has only boys and says that naked is the thing that worked for her. Let him run around the house with nothing on this bottom. It is a little messy but it doesn't take long that way either.

Wanda - posted on 01/02/2010

I assume you are an Aussie/NZ as you are not referring to diapers... be prepared for lots of accidents - take his nappy off and let him run with no pants when at home. He will soon get the idea as they don't generally like the feeling of the pee running down their legs. Give him lots of positive reinforcement if he gets it right. Don't go mad on him if he has an accident. Certainly at 3 he should be identifying with his father and should accompany him to the toilet so he learns to imitate dad.

Eve - posted on 01/02/2010

I have two boys and they both potty trained late. They potty trained around 3 1/2. They take a little longer but he will when he is ready. Just because he's still in Nappy's doesn't mean you're a bad mother. All children are different. Keep your head up and just know that everything will go in it's course. He will be fine. :)

Cassie - posted on 01/02/2010

Your not a bad mother.. Kids will potty train when their ready..

Lori - posted on 01/02/2010

I'm with all the rest of the moms here....boys are just tougher to potty train than girls. My son was particularly hard headed and was definitely a challenge. He was about 3 1/2 before he was potty trained (and for a few years after that, we continued to have occasional problems at night and I had to put in place strict rules about drinking anything after a certain time). Pull-ups were our best friend for a while. We had more problems with #2 than anything else. He would pretty much pee on command, but he had a problem figuring out when he had to do #2 or pass gas (it was all the same to him)! All I can say is don't give up. And forget about what others think. Just do what you think is right for YOUR child. Best of luck!

Sherry - posted on 01/02/2010

I have babysat lot of kids in my lifetime and it seemed boys were always the hardest.My trick was a bag of M'ms. They would get two if they would pee in the potty and 4 if they pooped. It worked for me!

Lynette Peter - posted on 01/02/2010

Your little boy is clearly not ready, so don't push him, sounds like you've backed off now anyway. Best idea is let him be Nappy free in the summertime, and leave the Potty outside, this might encourage him without forcing him. My eldest was in a Nappy until almost 3yo, but a Night Nappy until almost 6yo. I did a lot of reading and research and learnnd a lot about the brain, a hormone that's produced during the night, the pushing/squeezing valve and all sorts of things. Just don't rush it, he'll do it slowly but surely. As far as these supposed friends making such insensitive comments to you, they are purely ignorant, and maybe see children growing up as a competition or a race. Maybe mention that and watch their reaction. Or, tell them you've been researching this and have been given valuable information about this topic, and suggest there is a lot to learn about raising children, and their health, by going to the Library and searching the Net. Make yourself seem informed and that might shut them up. Women - honestly !!! Don't worry, it's all going to happen in its own time, he's ONLY 3yo. Best of luck Honey.

Kerri - posted on 01/02/2010

My daughter is the same way and she's 3. She's very stubborn. You can't force it, because they'll just fight that much harder against it. Just keep it light and fun with no pressure and he'll come around when he's ready.

Debbie - posted on 01/02/2010

I hope he's just not ready however, we had the same problem with our daughter. She wet the bed for so many years it was unbelievable. After she was grown, the Dr. discovered a problem with her bladder. It might be worth it to have him checked out just in case.

Darlene - posted on 01/02/2010

My son and daughter did not potty train till they were 3 and 1/2. I waited for them to be ready and when my son had a little set back, I would have him sit for about 2 minutes in the wet clothes and he stopped going in them. You are not a bad mother. If you force them to potty train they will resist beacause it will be a chore. Make sure when they go in the potty to praise, praise, praise. I used stickers with my daughter. Also, if you get a stool and one of those potty seats for the big toilet they are more excited about potty training.

Melanie - posted on 01/02/2010

I am a mother of three boys. They are harder to train. I just simply put them in underwear and I put plastic pants over top. This worked well. You can get plastic pants at walmart. Make sure to give positive feedback at all times to encourage your child. Don't punish the child for accidents it will make the experience frightening and frustrating!

Jackie - posted on 01/02/2010

As a Mom of 5, I had all ranges for my kids getting potty trained, from 2 to almost 4. All kids are different, and boys are harder to trin than girls. Be patient and keep ,trying to encourage him to use the big boy toilet.

Sherri - posted on 01/02/2010

I have 2 boys and they both were different in potty training, dont rush him, he will do it when he's ready. Potty training has nothing to do with parenting. All kids are different.

Christine - posted on 01/02/2010

After training two girls and two boys. I found that I have had better response to training if I leave the potty where they can get to it easily and remind them it is there and make a routine of just trying with or without undies at certain times of the day. They may forget about it for a while but they will go back to it and eventually she will tire of being soiled even for the shortest amount of time, and when she does she will use the potty on her own. Most kids master the potty by three, three and a half. Some do it earlier. He may not have enough attention for routine potty use right now. He is very busy with all the exploring she has to do. Sounds like she is doing what all my kids did before they got it down. If its any consolation my girls were so much easier and both were in undies full time on their third B-day's by their own choice and request. Good Luck!

Missy - posted on 01/02/2010

you're doing a great job!!!! don't listen to anyone about when your child SHOULD be doing this or that! my oldest would have been ready to potty train at 2 yrs but I was pregnant with twins and in and out of the hospital so she stopped because it was a control thing. my twins, my daughter was ready at 2 1/2 but my mother in law moved in for 6 months and a day. and pushed them both to train. my daughter was just as strong headed as grandma, right after grandma moved to england she was trained in 1 day. my son was finally learning at 3 1/2 took him a good 3 months to get the hang of it. just remember your son will not be graduating in diapers!! he will do it when he is ready...just keep offering, and if dad is in the house have him take your son into the bathroom to help...great bonding experience.

Corrinne - posted on 01/02/2010

As so many people have said you are NOT a bad mum, you are letting your son go at his own speed, my 3 year old son is not potty trained and I have had toilet seats and potties lying around for him. I am in no rush for him to be toilet trained, he will do it when he is ready. bringing up children is not a competition so just because someone else has their child potty trained doesn't mean you should. :-)

Kristin - posted on 01/02/2010

Never mind the others!!! All children are not the same! Mine were 3,5. when he is ready, you will know. Maybe you have been trying too hard. Relax. Buy an extra seat for the toilet instead. I dont think pottys are for everyone. Try little by little. Cheer when he has been at the toilet. Make it a positive experience. And be patient. Good luck!

Christina - posted on 01/02/2010

Hey Nicola, here is how I see it.... some time we moms worry too much about what others think and we just need to relax and go with the flow of our kids. When I had my first kid everybody was telling me I would have issues with getting him to sleep in his own room, problems with him taking baths, problems with him sleeping through the night, yadda, yadda,yadda..... I had none of the problems they all told me I would have. Every child is different and develops differently and at different speeds. My 1st one was an early bloomer and my 2nd one was a late bloomer. If I remember correctly my 1st one was potty trained right before his 2nd birthday and never wet the bed at night, however my 2nd one was still in pull-ups (big kid nappys) until he was almost 4 years old and had a couple of "night accidents". I just figured that he would be potty trained before his 18th birthday and if not after he turns 18 it would be his problem (lol). Anyways, relax he will come around when he is good and ready and the more relaxed you are about it the better he will do. Good luck!

Wendy - posted on 01/01/2010

Quoting Diane:

All kids are different but at the age of three there is no reason he should be wetting himself unless he has a medical problem. If your husband is around get him take your son to the bathroom with him when he goes. All little boys want to be like there dads. Make a big deal of it when he does go potty. I tried this and both my sons were day and night trained before 18 months.

as for the rest of us with our average kids> it sometimes takes awhile longer, lol you r doing fine Nicola

Wendy - posted on 01/01/2010

Quoting Angel:

First and foremost, your NOT a bad mom cause your son isn't ready to potty yet. My son refused to until the day of his 4th birthday party. Then he came down stairs proclaiming he was done with diapers. Imagine my fear when we had a thirty minute drive to town and he hadn't gone before we left.

He's seven and half now and still wets at night. He's a heavy sleeper with no medical problems so I just continue to buy pullups for night time.

I recommend making sure he knows where the potty is and have dad let him see how to do it a few times if he's around. Then let nature take its course.

WARNING!!! Accidents will happen. They get too busy playing to stop and go to the bathroom.

mine did the same thing at night, his doctor said no drinks within 2 hrs of bedtime and have him go pee twice when he brushes his teeth before he hops in bed

Wendy - posted on 01/01/2010

all kids deveop at different levels and boys are very different then girls, with my son, he did everything quickly, walked early, broke from the breast easy, broke from the bottle easy then came potty training, omg! I started thinking there was something wrong with him, till a friend told me to make a game of it and take him with me. So at first I would be playing with him or watching a movie with him then I'd run to the bathroom getting him to chase me, put 1 cheerios in the toilet then I'd sit down really fast and pee, I'd tell Kyler if I pee peed on the cheerio I would get a sucker, then I'd look in the potty and say darn I missed, put on a sad face and wash my hands, after the 3rd time I asked Kyler if he thought maybe he could pee on the cheerio, put down a stool and he stood on it and shot the cheerio, I made a huge deal out of it telling him how awesome and great he was and gave him a sucker. From that day on he would almost wet his pants to get a cheerio in the potty to pee on. Try it and let me know!

Danielle - posted on 01/01/2010

I think as long as your child is fully potty trained when it comes time for school, you're okay.

Lisa - posted on 01/01/2010

All children are different. You are not a bad mom. I'm a mother of 3 & all mine were potty-trained between 1-2 years. I started early introducing them to the potty, didn't make a big deal about it or push them. Once they were ready, they went in regular underpants, no pull-ups/diapers. They need to feel what it feels like to be wet or dirty. We became lazy when we started using pull-ups & such as it is not as messy, but it really doesn't teach them. You can do a weekend outside when the weather is nice, that way it's not on your floor. Make it into your every day routine, like it is, they need to know that it's not strange. That's why I start early, because I feel that just like bottles they become attached if they don't learn differently. Why would they want to take the time away from play to use the potty if they can just go in their diapers? None of my children had issues at night either, they just got up & went. Best wishes w/everything, he will eventually get it. Don't make it into a power struggle, because he will win, it is the one thing he has control of:)

Molly - posted on 01/01/2010

My son just became potty trained and he is 3 and a half. He still wears a pull up at night :)

Amanda - posted on 01/01/2010

why don't you google "One Step Ahead" and go to the site and look for the toddler potty. We are going to potty train my son with it... Just a thought anyway!

Lynn - posted on 01/01/2010

My son would go stand by the toilet and go in his pants, or under the dining table. When we left for Germany, he left that behind. He also started asking questions like crazy after hardly talking the first 3.5 years. He's a submariner now!

Sharon - posted on 01/01/2010

If you are a bad Mum then so am I!!! My boy is 3 years and 3months and he is still in nappies. I have tried to toilet train him and it goes well and then we just go backwards. I have given up for the moment as the excitement of Christmas and New Year is not the right environment to expect cooperation but I'll be starting again soon. All kids are different when it comes to toilet training so don't feel bad, you are not alone.

Monica - posted on 01/01/2010

my son is also three and i'm having a hard time also. it takes time. some things that i have been doing is as soon as he wakes up from either a nap or in the morning have him sit on the potty. my son gets a marshmellow every time he does it in the potty. try also to do a potty dance when he does and alot of prase. my son doesn't take naps all the time witch if he doesn't falls asleep at 5 then is up til 10, i lay my son down for a nap every day now. during the day, there is nothing wrong with kids having naps. if they are still sleeping through the night i this age it is great. try not to be so hard on yourself, boys will be boys and they take there time it will happen when he is ready

Pam - posted on 01/01/2010

my youngest son loved to get out of the pool in our back yard and go behind a tree ,hes 17 and still likes to go outside my oldest i used to run the water he can't water ths dog without getting the urge so he goes we live in a small town with a privacy fence now my oldest 24 is in the navy ,my daugher 19 now had to be rushed to get potty trained because i was haveing my youngest son,Don't Sweat the Small stuff hes your child and nobody should be judging anybody GOD BLESS YOU and wish you all the best

Shaina - posted on 01/01/2010

You are totally not a bad mommy! My son is almost 3 and we can get him to go on the potty...sometimes...He has his good days and his bad days. From what I understand, boys don't like using the potty because they feel like they are letting a part of them go. Or at least that is what a child psychologist told me *hugs* you are doing great hunni..keep it up

Anna - posted on 01/01/2010

You are not a bad mother! Boys are ALOT harder to potty train than girls! He'll go in his own time. Don't panic and don't let anyone tell you different.

Pam - posted on 01/01/2010

all children are different and no you are not a bad mom,boys are harder to potty train but easier to raise ,so there is always hope if you keep putting the nappys on him he will use them ,bad time of year ,but you can wait till spring to take them away, there are no rules on how YOU raise your child ,wish you all the best

Dorothy - posted on 01/01/2010

Oh and let him run around the house without the diaper on. Remind him often to use the potty. If he goes on the floor get him to help you clean it up. Not as a punishment but as a teaching method. It will make him more aware of decisions and consequences. Good luck!

Cheryl - posted on 01/01/2010

My oldest son didn't completely potty train till he was over 4. Then one day he said that he wanted to wear big boy underwear and not be in pull ups anymore. He's had a total of 2 accidents since then and BOTH times he was sick. The harder I pushed, the more he resisted. But make sure he knows how to go in the potty, where it is and encourage him to use it. But the bottom line is he'll potty trian when he's ready and if you push him he'll just resist more and it'll take longer. I think that's why my oldest took so long because I didn't push my youngest hardly at all and he potty trained by the time he was 2 1/2. I'd also suggest buying a few pairs of "big boy underwear" in a design that he'll like and tell him that he can ONLY have them if he can keep them clean and dry. That'll make him WANT to try. Good luck. :)

Patricia - posted on 01/01/2010

First of all YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! Actually you are a VERY GOOD MOM for knowing your child and taking ''cues'' as to when he is ready for something such as potty training and other stuff. My boys were about 3 1/2 and almost 4 (when my 3rd child,a boy, was diagnosed with autism, I didn't even BOTHER to potty train him and he learned on his own at almost 3 1/2-4 years old.).
What worked for my sons is I had their father potty train them. It didn't go much faster but they responded better when they learned from their dad. If your son is only 3 that is not unusual at all for boys not to be potty-trained until about 4.
Take care
&
God Bless :)

Kelly - posted on 01/01/2010

They really are all so different. My first boy was potty trained in the 6 weeks I was on maternity leave with #2, at 2 years and 2 months. But boy #2 had a stubborn streak (the first evidence of it was potty training! LOL); he refused to have anything to do with the potty at all until his third birthday, and then (actually because my dad told him that diapers are for two-year-olds like his younger cousin) he magically decided to do it and was completely (night and everything) trained in a month. My younger two kids are girls but they started much earlier but took much longer to learn. So don't worry, he'll get it, just don't stress over the small stuff (even though this doesn't seem small right now) and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy these wonderful years!!!

Angel - posted on 01/01/2010

First and foremost, your NOT a bad mom cause your son isn't ready to potty yet. My son refused to until the day of his 4th birthday party. Then he came down stairs proclaiming he was done with diapers. Imagine my fear when we had a thirty minute drive to town and he hadn't gone before we left.

He's seven and half now and still wets at night. He's a heavy sleeper with no medical problems so I just continue to buy pullups for night time.

I recommend making sure he knows where the potty is and have dad let him see how to do it a few times if he's around. Then let nature take its course.

WARNING!!! Accidents will happen. They get too busy playing to stop and go to the bathroom.

Dorothy - posted on 01/01/2010

I turned potty time into story time with my oldest and gave him a reward for sitting there after 5 mins wheather he pottied or not. That turned potty time into alone fun time with mommy. It took a lot of the pressure off potty training.

Amber - posted on 01/01/2010

Some kids aren't ready to potty train until they are older. As long as he's potty trained before he starts kindergarten then he's on the right track.

Sharon - posted on 01/01/2010

anyone who doesn't understand is free to take him for the day and try to potty him themselves! hahaha

Kids are unpredictable, they do things in their own time and respond differently to various people. My daughter wouldn't give up her binky for ANYTHING. But, honestly, even though I hated it, I was sad to see it go because it meant babyhood was definitely over, I wasn't very consistent about encouraging her to get rid of it.

My mom took her for a weekend and POOF! it was gone. I'm sorta shaking my head ruefully here, lol I'm such a strict disciplinarian and I totally failed on that one... thankfully my mommy picked up the slack, lol.

Ashley - posted on 01/01/2010

You are most deffinatly not a bad mom my son just turned 3 in october and he until this last week refused to use the potty at all and then all of a sudden he just decided he would pee on the potty. i tried to get him to use the potty for the last 6months and the more i pushed the more that he pulled away from it. so dont push just incurrage him and tell him about how much of a big boy it will make him and take him to the store and let him pick out some underware he would be able to wear if he starts to use the potty. hope i helped

LaTasha - posted on 01/01/2010

I think I read somewhere, "Nobody walks down the aisle in diapers." It will come eventually and trust me, in a year from now you'll be wondering why you were so stressed about it. I tried and tried to get my son to go then shortly after i gave up he gave in and did it himself. But now with my daughter I'm just going to let her have the reins. I don't really care if everyone around her is out of diapers or not. And any body who is still focused on her potty abilities needs to refocus all that energy on their own life. I hope this is helpful to you. You are not a bad mother. I like to listen to what other people say but when it comes down to it, if it doesn't feel right I don't do it. Just listen to your heart and your child.

Karen - posted on 01/01/2010

Your not a bad mom, all kids develop on different levels. I had a rough time with my daughter because she did not mind being wet. If you are concerned talk to his doctor, I am sure they have some great suggestions. I agree that making a game out of it helps. I use to set my daughter on the potty and read books to her. We had one about a girl who learned to go potty, forgot the name of it, but it helped a lot. It will come, and you are not a bad mom. I hate how other people try to tell you how and when your child should be doing something. I have learned that most of these "helpful" people either do not have children or had someone else, parent, child care provider, ect.., help raise their children. If you have your child in a child care facility or at a sitters that may help some. sometimes being around other children makes it easier. My mom raised 4 boys and the younger ones were a lot easier to train because they would go with the bigger boys. Good luck, GOD bless

Amy - posted on 01/01/2010

I never had to Potty train a boy before but my sister in law had a hard time with her first. He was 4 when he finally got the ambition to potty train. Just keep trying and eventually he'll catch on. Maybe it's as simple as buying him his own potty chair, I used stickers with my first one. We had a chart and everytime she tried or went she got a sticker. Just know that every child will do things on their own time. You're not a bad mother just one who loves her child.

Tesha - posted on 01/01/2010

Kids will do it when they r ready!!! Don't feel bad

Ashley - posted on 01/01/2010

my mom said all three of us potty trained ourselves before three so its normal. it should come in time. good luck!

Diane - posted on 01/01/2010

All kids are different but at the age of three there is no reason he should be wetting himself unless he has a medical problem. If your husband is around get him take your son to the bathroom with him when he goes. All little boys want to be like there dads. Make a big deal of it when he does go potty. I tried this and both my sons were day and night trained before 18 months.

Krystal - posted on 01/01/2010

NO u r not a bad mum far from it u no ur son better then anyone and if he ant redy he ant redy do u leave a potty arawnd the home so if he wonts to he can my fist son was potty train at 2 years and i just let him run arawnd in a vet, top and he dont it him self but with my 2nd son hi is 2 1/2 and his just geting there with his wee wees evey child is differnt so sont worry