am i going overboard

Layla - posted on 07/26/2010 ( 39 moms have responded )

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i have found that a lot of people think im going overboard with my daughters 1st birthday, i just want it to be special doing the normall things at home decorating with banners and balloons haveing the family round for a late afternoon bbq and in the morning having a party at wacky wwarehouse with 12 kids they get to play and get lunch got her a 2 tier in the night garden bday cake and a number 1 birthday cake and presents do you htink its to much what sorts of things did you do for your babies 1st birthday?

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Geralyn - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think that you should do what you want. It doesn't matter than she won't remember it. Heck, I don't remember my 20th birthday, but I am sure that I enjoyed it at the time! And you can't spoil her by having a big celebration.... I say go for it if its what you and your family want...

Diane - posted on 07/28/2010

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Layla, again, go for it! :) You're the mom and what you say goes. Sometimes the hardest part of being a mom is listening to everyone else and trying to follow the advice they give. I struggle with it and I have learned that in my heart I know what I need to do. You sound like you really want this party for her, and if that is the case then don't worry what anyone else says. I know you probably want confirmation that your doing the right thing, (who doesn't?) but you don't need it. You are mom, this is your little girl and the experiences that others have had with their child's first birthday won't be the same as your child's. You know what she can handle, you know if she will be scared, tired etc. Also if people who are invited know your daughter, they won't be expecting her to "preform". I can't recall anyone at either of my son's parties expecting them to be awake at the right times or cooperative after all we are talking about a 1 year old. You play it by ear and time it best with your child's schedule. If she takes a nap at a specific time and eats at a specific time, that's what you do at the party. My children were always used to being out and around people so having a party at my house never scared them. I also don't think that every year has to top the previous year either. We have a similar type of party for my boys every year only now that my son is 5 we have incorporated his friends from school. I don't think you have to out do the year before, if a child expects that then you have raised them with unrealistic expectations and surly that would be the case with everything, birthday gifts Christmas gifts etc. so I wouldn't even worry about that being an issue. Enjoy your daughters first birthday! :)

Jane - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think whatever you want to do is exactly what you should do. Who cares what others think...it's your baby, it's her 1st birthday and if you want to celebrate big...I say go for it and have fun!!!!!

September - posted on 07/26/2010

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I don't think you're going overboard. We rented a hall for our son's first birthday party, decorated all the tables with colored table cloths (green and blue) and chocolate candies. We had birthday banners and balloons everywhere, a three tier birthday cake, a slide show of our son’s first year of life and a room set up with a video camera for people to leave our son a birthday message (this was my favorite part!) We had about 75 guest and we all had a great time including the birthday boy! It's whatever you want to make it! Have fun and enjoy! :)

Diane - posted on 07/26/2010

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Have fun with it and do what you want! :) I always have fun with my sons parties. One is at the end of April and the other the end of June and we have large parties and they usually have a theme. I have a very large family so everyone is invited. This year my oldest turned 5 so we had his friends over as well which was great, but for his first he had his little bounce play house that someone bought him and we had a huge bbq which ran into the night hours and we had a bon fire after. b It was a great day for everyone, lots of pictures and it was something that he loves to look at pictures of now. I say if your going to do big and fun go for it, she will look back at it later in life and know how truly loved she is even if she can't remember the actual event. Anyone who tells you not to hasn't seen the look in an adoring 5 year old's eye as they look back at their 1st birthday pictures in awe over and over again. Trust me, it's worth it. :)

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Renae - posted on 07/30/2010

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OMG! I went mad!

I hired our local playgroup hall. We had about 50 adults and 30 kids attend. I love cooking and I catered lunch for everyone (a kids lunch and an adults lunch 13 dishes in total) - the cake was enormous took me 2 days! My baby got 21 presents, just from me and dad, about 50 in total. I also do balloon decorating so the entire place was decked out like you wouldn't believe. I spent an absolute fortune. We had games and prizes and all the kids got toy/lolly bags. It was so much fun. He is only 1 once. I cant wait to plan the next one! :)

Becca - posted on 07/30/2010

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for my sons 1st we did a party i paid over £50 for a special monkey cake i spent money for a banna with his pic and his name and a messiage on it i invited all my neices n nephews and my sons aunties and uncles and nannas n grandads i did a big spread on for everyone i also got a pinearta filled it with stuff and i made party bags for everyone i just wanted to make it special i think my son was asleep most of the time but we have some good pics and i think he enjoyed him self aspeshuly his monkey cake lol no1 got a piece he decided to eat it him self lol but i dnt think he will remember it but the way i see hes only 1 once and haveing every1 there to celabrate his first birthday was special to me and we all had fun even the adults at my sons party there must of bin over 30 kids and more adults so i dnt think ur going over bord just have fun i say cos thay may not remember but u have memories and take pics so wen there older thay can see there first birthday xxx

Danielle - posted on 07/29/2010

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Uhm a little overboard...I think I would limit it to the home decorating and BBQ. Wacky warehouse is a bit much for a first birthday.



For my son I had a custom sheet cake made for everyone else, and a miniature chocolate cake for my son to destroy, I decorated with a banner, balloons, and streamers. We ate macaroni, potato, and caesar salad with hot dogs and hamburgers. Then we opened presents.

Lauren - posted on 07/29/2010

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My daughter will be 1 in October and I am planning on having a pretty big one. She has some friends so they will be there and my husband and I have a lot of family between the two of us. I dont think you are going overboard at all its fun to plan birthdays and if you wanna make it big then go for it. It sound like its going to be a blast! And happy birthday to your little one!

Joanna - posted on 07/29/2010

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you do what makes you happy, it dosnt matter what anyone else says or thinks, if you want to celebrate with your family and friends and you can afford to do that then go for it... your child will never remember the birthday but they will feel the happiness from you x

Dayna - posted on 07/29/2010

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well in that case i'd go for it. hope you have a really good time. You need to savour it as they dnt stay small for long and then they dnt want parties they want to go bowling with there m8's. ENJOY

Stephanie - posted on 07/28/2010

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the first birthday is always for th parents. I am doing a totally mind blowing one for mine ( not for another 8 months mind you lol) but if you want it to be amazing then so do it. who cares what others say. if you have the money to do so then do it :)

Nikki - posted on 07/28/2010

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If it makes *you* happy to plan a big bash, there's nothing wrong with that! I love being creative, going all out. That doesn't mean spending tons of money for me, but rather putting in a lot of thought, time, and effort.

I make cakes that would cost me $800+ to buy. I make sparkly homemade pinatas. I make thoughtful, fun favors. I make custom buntings and decor. I invent thematic games. My daughter's first birthday in May was featured on the Party Perfect blog ( http://www.saraspartyperfect.com/2010/05... ) in fact. There are tons of people like us out there who love creating something special for our loved ones, even if they're not old enough to remember it!

I'll note that my older daughter didn't remember her first or second birthday party, but loves looking at the pictures. She absolutely remembers her third birthday forward, and loves the parties I create for her.

I'm really excited to start working on her 7th birthday in October--she's requested a Cornish/Merlin theme. I love that my kid wants creative, unusual themes. Even if I'd wanted to buy a party supplies package for her birthdays, I wouldn't have been able to. (6 was Under the Sea Tea Party, 5 was Rainbow Unicorn, 4 was Dora-the-Explorer-Madeline-Pirate-Princess-Pink. Yeah, she has a hard time selecting just one theme.)

I totally support those who just want to have a small, intimate, quiet celebration, or even no celebration. Both are beautiful ways to celebrate. Doing something fabulous and fancy, however, it how I choose to do it!

Vanessa - posted on 07/28/2010

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For my oldest son we were broke so he got an extravagent 2nd birthday but for my second son I did a spongebob themed birthday party for him :) It was just perfect. Its your baby do what you want! Just think nice scrapbook material to show when they are older. Totally worth it!

Dayane - posted on 07/28/2010

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I know exactly what you are going through. I always go through this with everyone when it comes to my kids birthdays. I like to make them BIG and everyone thinks i'm crazy. But i just LIKE to throw parties and also i like to see my kids eyes light up. I let people get the best of me with me 3rd child who just turned 1 in june. She is my last and i wanted to make it HUGE but as always everyone was like its a waste of money she wont remember it and so on. and i ended up not doing it i just did a small BBQ at my house and i hate that now. Both my older kids got a hall rented. bounce houses. My sons was a carnival theme so i got a bounce house and had diff games like in carnivals like the fishing one and actually had prizes to give out. It was a great time for everyone. Dont let someone talk you out of it because you will regret it. I just know that now my daughters SECOND is going to be even bigger LOL so that i can make up for her first. If you want it, can afford it, and dont mind doing it then GO FOR IT!!! have a great time

April - posted on 07/28/2010

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If you can afford it...do it...i had 2 cakes for my baby and a water slide, and small pools....I also had a very large bbq and a cotton candy machine...i know she won't remember it...but just the thought of knowing she is enjoying herself was the best for me...cause she knew it was her day

Emma - posted on 07/28/2010

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for my daughters first birthday i had a big party i think it is a fantastic idea hope she has a fab day

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/28/2010

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Oh yeah,,,,and they ONLY EVER get the first birthday...if you can do it in style I say go for it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/28/2010

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The first birthday is definately more of a celebration for the parents and family than the child...becouse of course they don't remember it. But what the heck! Have fun, do what you want...just don't expect her to get it you know? Definately still do nap time if you can and have fun. Take lots of pictures and celebrate how you see fit. After all, it is your party too!!!! You gave birth..so celebrate that!

Layla - posted on 07/28/2010

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as the parties are seperate i dont think the people wil scare her as we go to lots of baby groups and she loves having people around, she loves the attention lol, and she loves playing at wacky i cant wait to see her face when playing with her little friends then after her nap family bbq were she can play on her own just see people and have dinner but lots of presents and money is not an issue i know the party is more for me then her but as it took me 2 and half years just to get her i want to celebrate her first year of live with a big bang, and as for other parties when she grows up i think they will all be as big with holidays, day trips bigger parties and im looking forward to every single one!

Dayna - posted on 07/28/2010

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I spent nearly £300 on my dughters 1st birthday that was 10yrs ago i now realise that it was an awful lot of money and she didnt no wt was going on and got a little scared of all the people. with my youngest 2 i decided to let them have a big party when they are 4 or 5 so they are old enough to appreciate it.

Susan - posted on 07/26/2010

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Why have a 1st birthday party? The child doesn't remember it!

All we did was have a cupcake which we put a candle into and let them blow it out. It was a regular meal and a cupcake they got to eat for dessert.

Heck, my kids are 15, 13, and almost 11 and we've had a grand total of *1* birthday party for them. Birthday is when the family celebrates with a small gift and a special meal and gathering.

I guess I just don't get it. I don't need to show off for others or impress others with my "creativeness" or wealth. I cherish my children and give them my love and attention year round with a special attention to looking at getting them a something special for their birthday (one gift).

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I think it's great that you want to make it a special day. I would take into consideration nap times. The day you have planned out sounds like a very long day for such a young child. Personally, I would just do the family BBQ.

Medic - posted on 07/26/2010

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I went all out for my sons first birthday...it was at home and his godmother made a ton of homemade mexican food he had a huge cake and a smash cake and there were tons of presents. He had a blast and all of our family and friends were there. His second and third were huge pool parties with an all out bbq and huge cakes and lots of family and friends. And with his fourth Sept 1st we have rented out one of the local museums that has the dinosaur exibit and an awesome kids science treehouse he has a multi-layer cake that has a t-rex that jumps out of it and will have all the family and friends we have there to celebrate with him. Its the one day he gets to call the shots...well most of them...and I personally don't see a problem throwing them big parties. My daughters 1st is in January and her godmother has already started planning her fairy themed party.

Abbie - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think its way overboard. We did cupcakes, a little banner, few balloons- more to lead people to the room. And it lasted 3 hours, which in my opinion was 1.5 hours too long at that age! If I have another child it will be no longer then 2 hours, and a morning event ( which we did for the 2nd bday) At that age they dont' remember it, adn if you go that wild on the first what will you do on the 10th? Rent disney world?

Amanda - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think thats an awfully long day for a one year old. Whos going to prob end up very cranky for the family party. As well one year olds dont recall the party, most adults wont even recall it in a week, the only one who will truely remember it is you.

JuLeah - posted on 07/26/2010

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Are you doing this all for her or for you?



She won't remember it, but too much might overwhelme or frighten her :(



My kid's first birthday was family - quite dinner - everyone smiling at her, loving her, talking and remembering back to her birth ..... I get a nice feeling when I remember that party and the pictures we have are all of people in joy with her.

The day is yours, do what you want and have fun :)

Christy - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think that you should do it! Who cares if she can't remember it you will! You can just take pictures or video tape it I loved looking back at mine when i was older!

Aliska - posted on 07/26/2010

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It's only too much if you can't afford it or are going to have to live really tight and cut back because of it. If that is the case then cut back as you don't need it all, if not do what you like. Remember if you have more kids there may be some hurt feelings if you don't do the same for them and they are looking back over the photo albums. Will you have the time, energy and money for a similar bash for the second and maybe third child?

Personally I wouldn't have such a big party for a first birthday but each to their own.

As long as you don't feel pressured into this or are mainly doing it to keep up with the other mums. Don't spend money you don't have and put pressure on yourself just for a birthday party, but if you can do this comfortably and it's what you and your husband want then go for it.

Sherry - posted on 07/26/2010

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sweety, your baby is only 1 year old she's not going to remember this birthday... I'd hold off the extravegance until her sweet 16th and make that party that much more special... and she'll remember it

A few friends and maybe some family is all she really needs to be perfectly happy with her first brithday. Honestly, why go to the expense (I know it's an important milestone but it's an important one more so for MOM then it is for baby)-- it would definitely be more appreciated when your daughter is 16 and wants to take her friends to aspine or something-- at least then it will be remembered fondly.

If you start her getting extravegance to early she's never going to learn that she has to work a bit for the special things.. don't spoil her early-- don't give her everything too fast or you'll run into a spoiled "i want I want I want" as she gets older.

I hope this helps.

Niki - posted on 07/26/2010

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No, I don't think it's too much. True, your child won't remember it, but just take lots of pictures and you can show her later! I always supposedly go "overboard" with my son's parties but honestly I have a blast planning it and he (and the guests) always have a great time! Your child only has a birthday once a year so why not go all out and make it an event he/she will love and look forward to every year ?

Christine - posted on 07/26/2010

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I wanted to rent a hall and go all out for my twins birthday this coming december but my mom suggested having an open house so that people can come by and visit throughout the day and the kids can still have naps etc and then have a bunch of cupcakes for people to have when they visit. I will probably have a set time for the kids to dive into their own individual cakes and I will tell that time to family and close friends and then whoever happens to be there during that time can see it too. Makes things less expensive.

Layla - posted on 07/26/2010

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ell does have a lot of baby friedns as we go to alot of mother and baby groups and she loves playing at wacky she is not a normal 10 month old she can walk properly play on slides and other toys so i know she will enjoy it even if she doesnt remember it but the bbq is more for my family so they can see her on her birthday

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We had lunch w/ family and a few friends at our church and the church playground.... For both first bday parties (my 8.5 year old twin girls and my 2 year old son). Just a few presents. Cupcakes for my girls party and a regular cake (decorated by his sisters) for my son.

IMO... small and simple is ALWAYS better, but it's really what ever you are most comfortable w/ doing.

Angie - posted on 07/26/2010

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Do what you want and can afford. It's your child's birthday - you get to decide what is going to happen! We kept it a quiet family time just as their birth was. It was my husband and our children. We made a special cake and then took lots of pictures. Even though I'm a horrible cake decorator, my children still love my attempts at making their cakes.

Morgan - posted on 07/26/2010

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I am going all out!!
my daughter is 6.5 months old and iam already planning her ladybug themed 1st bday, they may not remember but I will show her all the pictures :) and I am sure she'll have a great time.
Each their own right? who cares if others think your going overboard, you would not do it if you dident want to!!

Rebecca - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think the 1st is always bigger for the parents then anything. the child will never remember and to me it's a waste of money to do too much. For both of my kids we just had family and a few friends for some cake and ice cream and some snacks. We didn't invite kids for a separate party. the kids came with the parents, and there was only 2 i think and they were older.
Have fun and take lots of pictures.

Karen - posted on 07/26/2010

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my son's 1st is in 2 months - all i'm doing is having a bbq with his grandparents and my one friend that had attended his birth and i'm making a small cake...

Joan - posted on 07/26/2010

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hi
first birthday parties are more for the parents than for the baby. she will never recall all of this. we did the backyard bbq with cake for my kids first.

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