am I nuts?

Lisset - posted on 02/27/2009

You're not nuts!! When I was pregnant with my son, I was not really worried about his well-being in terms of danger, because he was inside of me. Once he was born it was like I was flooded with fear and always worrying about taking care of him and having to protect him. Seeing the news and the horrible things that happen in every day life doesn't help. I think every mom goes through this. It doesn't get any better as they get older, you just worry more. He's two years old and I'm so afraid of him starting school. You hear all these things about teachers and coaches molesting their students, he could get kidnapped. But at some point we have to let go. They have to live their life and we will always be their mothers. We'll just have to learn eventually to be able to let it happen and let them live. We just always have to remind them that we love them each and every day.

Surjet - posted on 02/27/2009

I agree w/ Lisa... yes this is totally normal but it could be a sign of post partum, which is also very common, it "hit" me after the birth of both of my girls and it was several months later. I say it is worth talking it over w/ your DR. :)

Margaret - posted on 02/27/2009

Welcome to Motherhood!! Every mom has these anxieties. It helps to talk to friends or your mom about these feelings. The more you hear your feelings, out loud, the more comforting and relaxed you will start to feel. Learn to start to breathe. Take a deep breath. You will always have these worries. Over time, you will adjust especially as your child learns more and more. Good luck!

Suzanne - posted on 02/27/2009

I tell my sweet hubby all the time...I'm not looking for a fix on this one, just a little venting time! He seems to get it when I say that.   Wouldn't it be nice to be able to just "stop worrying"!!  It seems to be in our job description :o)

Lisa - posted on 02/27/2009

thank you, all of you, for the support!  My hubby has never suffered any anxiety, so his advice was just to stop worrying!  Men...

Lisa - posted on 02/24/2009

nuts? absolutely definitely NOT!!!!!! I think every mother must go through this. anxiety can be a sign of post natal (partum) depression though and it can develop months after the birth so maybe you could discuss it with your health visitor. after my youngest with born it got to the stage where i would almost have a panic attack before i left the house to drive anywhere. you're not on you're own! xx

Bev - posted on 02/24/2009

It's normal to feel anxious.....all you can do is know you are doing everything right! I totally agree with Jennifer about the constant worry getting you depressed. I was the same way. Talk about your worries with your partner or a good friend. It helps to vocalize it and not worry in silence. It doesn't all seem so scary then. We as moms all worry about the safety of our children...that's why we do such a great job.

Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2009

Don't worry it gets better.  With my first child I costantly worried about her (especially about loosing her).  It was so bad at times I became depressed (maybe mine was a little PPD).  I just prayed a lot and eventually I was able to chill out and relax more.  Now with my second child I feel relaxed and the worring is probably the typical stuff but it doesn't consume me anymore. 

Erica - posted on 02/24/2009

You are not nuts, maybe I am. I am so afraid of leaving her unprepared. So I try to help her become independent... although she is 16 months. I am so afraid of her growing up and my missing something. I am so glad you posted this. I want to make sure I dot every "T" and cross every "I"... I did this on purpose...

Jamie - posted on 02/24/2009

I think EVERY Mom deals with this, and although your worries don't ever go away (its just part of being a mom), you have to be confident in the fact that you are doing everything that you can to protect your child and that even the best of moms cant protect their kids from everything.  If we did, they would never grow and learn how to deal with life.  I have a three and a half year old daughter and when she was an infant i used to lie awake at night worrying (and sometimes i still do). Kids are super resiliant though and we as parents just have to do the best we can. Dealing with the anxiety comes with one major thing, "take it one day at a time". Focus on what you are faced with right now, and deal with the other challenges of raising your son as they come.  You are not alone!

Candice - posted on 02/24/2009

Baby Steps. Don't hold them back when you know and they know they can do something. Just let them earn the right and your trust to take another step. Your job is to give them tools to live in this world. Respect, Honesty, Compassion, Caution, Confidence, Empathy. And you let them know as often as you can that, no matter what, they can always come to you for help to take another step. Respect them when they say Mom, I can do this. Listen when they say Mom, I need you. Let them make age appropriate decisions early so that you can trust they can make them without you later. Ask them how they feel, what they think and what they want. LISTEN! and let them accomplish things for themselves so they gain a confidence and a trust in themselves. You will find it so much easier to let go when you know in your heart that your kid has proven to you he can handle any situation. My son is 13 and I am going through all of this right now because I homeschooled and now he's ready for high school and its hard, but I know I gave him all the tools he needs and he knows he can always come back for a few more. We are very close and it makes all the difference in the world. And it feels like he was 6 months yesterday so enjoy every minute right now and try not to worry about tomorrow. 

Suzanne - posted on 02/24/2009

Oh my gosh--you are so not alone!!  Just look at it as a blessing that your child has someone who loves him so much that you want to protect them from everything!  It would be nice if we could...but the reality is that when you look back at your own life, what are the things that you learned the most from?  The things that you weren't always protected from!  Focus on being the mom he can turn to when he needs "a soft place to land" when the hurtful things of the world have gotten him down.  Knowing he's loved will get him farther in this life than anything else will. 

My 5 children are ages 23 -11 and I think I have realized that living a full life means that some things have to hurt a little to create well rounded adults out of the little people they once were!

Candi - posted on 02/24/2009

I am going thru the same thing NOW...he's my whole life!!!

Tara - posted on 02/24/2009

You are def. not a nut. I have a 3 month old and I am not quite to the mobile stages yet but I do have a 2 year old nephew who is into everything. My brother and sister in law have put the holders in the plug ins, they have out these deals over their doors so only they can open them, and they have put you anything that will break and that seem sto work for them. I think when it comes time for my little guy to be more mobile, I will start to do that. I worry about him all of the time, I think it's only natural as a mother. Good luck and I hope this has helped in some way!

Katie - posted on 02/24/2009

Just do what you're doing! You are doing a great job! I'm sure your kids are very happy! Unfortunately, worry is a part of life!

Janelle - posted on 02/24/2009

I don't think you are nuts at all!  I have 3 boys and  I think about things that could happen, but then I make sure that everything is covered...like my 1st grader is always met by an adult if I am not able to make it, he knows not to go anywhere with anyone that I don't tell him about first....I think that is healthy that you have concerns and I think it would be odd if you didn't have them. 

I deal with it by double checking safety practices and teaching my children how to be safe.  There  are things that we can teach them to make sure that they make the right choices so that is what I do and when I have a thought like yours, I review and reteach.  Good luck!

Danae - posted on 02/24/2009

You are not nuts, or else I am too! I have an almost 7 year old and a 2 year old and it does scare me to think of things I can't protect them from. When I start worrying, I take it as my clue to myself that I need to spend individual attention on each child. Just being with them, doing something special with each that they enjoy calms me- and knowing my kids are living happy full lives puts my mind at ease!

Katie - posted on 02/24/2009

All the time!! You are not nuts! You are a mom! You will do whatever you have to to protect your child! All I can say is, Don't worry so much about the future and miss the magic that is the present! My son will be 5 in August and I already think about the sex talk and girlfriends and driving!! It's crazy! Enjoy your baby! He will grow up so fast! Don't miss the forest despite the trees!