Am I over protective of my sons?

Missi - posted on 08/29/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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About 2 wks ago my ex husband who is the father of my kids got into an agrument at his sisters pool while my kids were there....the arguement ended by my ex gettin a chain saw and cuttin the support beams of the deck while our kids and other were on the deck....he is currently in jail for the incident and i have filed for protective order to stop him from having contact with my kids.....and his mom thinks he did nothing wrong that i am over reacting about the situation even though my kids came home crying......i dont think i am over reacting just lookin out for my kids what do u all think???

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Rhonda - posted on 08/12/2011

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#1 he is in jail... apparently your ex-mil does not understand the seriousness of assault with a deadly weapon. Would she feel the same if she was the target of his anger. Protect the innocent! Even if the bad guy happens to share their DNA.

Lydia - posted on 08/30/2009

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ANYONE taking out a chainsaw over an arguement would never be allowed around my daughter - maybe I would make an exception if the visitation was under extremely controlled circumstances and she was desperate to see them MAYBE! You are the one who has the responsibility of protecting them - dont let anyone else tell you how to do it. Kate is right - your ex is lucky he only got away with damages rather than manslaughter doing something so overly stupid and aggresive why give him a next time?

Nina - posted on 08/29/2009

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No way you are over reacting. The question might be if your Ex's mother might be ignorant and over protective of her son. Keeping your kids out of situations like that is the right thing to do!

Rena' - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting Amy:

uh, no! you are not over reacting, he obviously has anger issues...come on, he busted out a freakin chainsaw for crying out loud! Of course his mom thinks he did nothing wrong...most moms don't like to admit that their baby's are psychopathic!
you are doing what is best for your kids, ex mom-in-law can piss off



Thank you, Amy.  I feel exactly the same way, especially with your last comment.  The nerve, the gall, the crust of that woman who thinks she's a mother, and to make matters worse, they're her GRANDCHILDREN!!!  (I really need to get off of this subject quick, fast, and in a hurry).  Missi Fisher, follow your gut.  When God gave you those angels, He gave you an extra dose of common sense, which is what seems to be lacking on your ex-husband's side of the family.  As you said, "EX-HUSBAND," that means USED TO BE.  It's your responsibility as the main caretaker of your children's well-being the best way you know how.  As a mother of two adult children and three grandchildren, I'd rather err on the side of "overprotection" of my children's welfare, than to be sobbing into their caskets.

Anna - posted on 08/29/2009

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I'm not sure why you are second guessing yourself! You know what is best for your kids and unfortunately all parents arent good parents. When one of them is like your ex, then you do what you need to do, bottom line, who else do they have to look out for them. Not his mom!!!

Amy - posted on 08/29/2009

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uh, no! you are not over reacting, he obviously has anger issues...come on, he busted out a freakin chainsaw for crying out loud! Of course his mom thinks he did nothing wrong...most moms don't like to admit that their baby's are psychopathic!
you are doing what is best for your kids, ex mom-in-law can piss off

Rena' - posted on 08/29/2009

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Over-protective? This isn't an incident that happens if your child is learning how to ride a bike and fall because the child haven't mastered it yet. There's no such thing as being over-protective when your child(ren)'s life is at stake - I don't care WHO IT IS that's making the situation dangerous to any child. His "mother" (and I say that with distain) is in great denial, and if she was any kind of mother herself, she would've been the one to have the order of protection on her - from her son!

Sarah - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting Kate:

O.o

Is this a serious question? Do *you* think it was at all appropriate for your husband to use a chain saw to make a point? He could have killed people on and below the deck, not just your kids.

Duh, you're not being over protective. Your MIL is a nut. Get a TRO against her, too. :P


I completely agree with Kate... 


 

Tomii - posted on 08/29/2009

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I def don't think you were overreacting. I wouldn't let my daughter around that either, but if you are really worried and don't want to cut off the kids contact with their dad I would say not to let him visit without someone from CPS supervising and make him take anger management classes if he is ever going to spend time with them again. Otherwise, I agree with Dale, he's shown violent tendencies and might lash out against the kids sometime in the future.

Alishia - posted on 08/29/2009

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I would of done the same thing, your just looking out for your kids and your mil must be in denial... sorry this happened to you :(

Leanne - posted on 08/29/2009

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I agree with the rest.
You did the right thing, and who cares if u are being over-protective, in this situation I think u have to be.

Better to be safe then sorry.

I can't believe any parent would do such a stupid thing especially when there is a chance children can get hurt. WTF was he thinking.

Dale - posted on 08/29/2009

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i don't think you're over reacting at all.... if his idea of conflict resolution involves a chainsaw he's obviously a person with violent tendencies and i wouldn't want that sort of person around my kids either, even if that person was their other parent... i thinkyou're doing the right thing... if that's how he behaves it'll only be a matter of time before one of your kids ends out seriously hurt.... you may also want to get a restraining order for yourself because i imagine he wouldn't be too happy with you stopping his contact with his kids and he sounds like he's got no restraints when he's angry

Angela - posted on 08/29/2009

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i dont think you over reacted at all. what if the deck had collapsed with your kids on it, or your child fallen off the side while he was moving around with the chainsaw and landed on it. it could have waited and didn't need to be done right then. and in my experience with my and my friends mother in laws they never think their sons do wrong wether big or small things. my mother in law actually has called and told me to be nice to my husband before when we got in an argument the night before about his drinking irresponsibly and stuff like that

Rachel - posted on 08/29/2009

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No I don't think you over reacted at all. I would have flipped out. You did the right thing, your kids safety comes first. Trust your instincts, and you can't go wrong.

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2009

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Definetely not overprotective. What kind of father acts like that in front of his children anyway? Not to mention he could have seriously injured them. Do what ever you have to to keep the kids and yourself safe.

Stacey - posted on 08/29/2009

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I dont think you are over protective, I am quite protective of my children & I dont think there is anything wrong with this, as long as you are not obsessive or 'baby' them. I usually think of the worst case scenarios and this is why I dont leave my children in the car to pay for petrol or run a dvd in, I always have my doors locked, even when I am home, I dont let my children out of sight in public, etc. But you hear stories of children being kidnapped, children in the back of cars that have been stolen, I even heard of a father catching a stranger about to walk out the back door of his own home with his son! This is not a safe world for children, we parents have to be so careful. I went a bit off track here, but yeah - you are not over protective.

Tammy - posted on 08/29/2009

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Totally agree that ex and family are crazy. Stay away and protect your children as best you can. Be very careful whom you trust. The people telling you that you are overreacting are wrong and must have issues of their own. Crazy behavior only escalates over time. I also agree that protective orders don't protect. Stay safe.

Tricia - posted on 08/29/2009

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She obviously denies what her son is. The kids saw their dad and will be scared to go anyway. You do what you know is right.

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Yeah, the mother in law is cracked out, and so is your ex. Poor kids! I think you are doing what I would have done. Get that nut and his family away from you. Also, remember, the protective order doesn't mean much of anything...Stay safe!

Missi - posted on 08/29/2009

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i def understand that i dont think i am wrong and what i am doin is 100% right for my children but more then the exes mom says i am over reacting....a few ppl have told me i am makin a big deal of it and i am just tryin to hurt my kids by not leetin their dad have contact with him....i think i am just lookin to see what ppl who dont know either side of the involvin parties would say...

Kate CP - posted on 08/29/2009

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O.o



Is this a serious question? Do *you* think it was at all appropriate for your husband to use a chain saw to make a point? He could have killed people on and below the deck, not just your kids.



Duh, you're not being over protective. Your MIL is a nut. Get a TRO against her, too. :P

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