Christina - posted on 10/18/2011 ( 82 moms have responded )
I am seriously considering not allowing my 3 year old daughter to attend my ex-husbands wedding...Heres why:
When we got divorced, we scheduled weekends according to my work schedule since I work every other weekend. Several months later I was swapped at work and begged him to swap the schedule with me. He refused. This put me working (and paying someone to keep her because her weekday daycare is closed on weekends) every weekend she was with me. Every weekend I was off, she was with him. I begged and begged him to swap with me because of my work schedule FOR OVER A YEAR!!! He continued to refuse.
A few months ago, I was swapped back to my original schedule at work, which straighted out my problem. I now had my daughter on the weekends I was off work. Then he calls: wanting to know if we could swap the schedule because his "soon to be stepdaughter"s weekends changed and the two children would not be at his home the same weekend. I REFUSED. I was not giving up my weekends with my child so that she could see her "soon to be stepsister" I AM HER MOTHER for crying out loud? Who is it more important for my child to spend time with? So for the past few months everything has been smooth sailing until now...he is getting married in a week. He got his mother to ask me if he could get her the weekend of the wedding (he has not asked me himself). Now everyone is in an uproar because I gave them a simple answer: NO! (not to mention I had already made plans for me and my daughter this particular weekend)
I understand that our daugther should be present for his wedding.It would have been different if he had picked up the phone within the last few weeks and asked to swap a weekend out or something. What I dont understand is why he keeps expecting me to rearrange my life to suit his. Everytime I dont give in to whatever he demands his response is "You have her everyday, I only get her 4 days a month" When the truth is, yes I have full custody of our daughter but he has never picked up the phone and asked to get her and been told no until now. I really dont want to be considered as selfish, but I am so tired of my life being dictated by his and what he wants.
(Not to mention the woman he is marrying was pregnant before our divorce and they have been living together the whole time, even though our custody agreement clearly states that no one that is not related to the child can be an overnight visitor -- yet I have not pushed the issue because she is good to my daughter and they did have plans to marry) I have been as civilized as I could be through this whole entire process, why am I still the one getting run over? Isnt it time I stand my ground and show him that I do not have to dictate my life around his? SO AM I WRONG FOR NOT ALLOWING HER TO ATTEND THE WEDDING?