Anger in toddlers

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hi everyone. I've never posted anything before. I have a son who is 14 months old. When he was 10 months old, his temper started to show. If he was frustrated, or we said no to him, he would clench his fists and scream in protest. This has now progressed into very aggressive behaviour. He doesn't throw tantrums as such. If he's frustrated, or if he doesn't get his own way, or if I say no, he bangs his head on the floor. If I see it coming and pick him up before he does it, he lashes out and hits me in the face. If he is picked up because I don't want him to go somewhere (eg outside at 5am in winter!), he head butts me. Not in the face, but that's because I hold him so he can't hurt me. Yesterday, he hurt one of the children at the day care he goes to. He ended up head butting him in the face and the little boys nose bled and he had a swollen lip. I was mortified! We are considering taking him to an OT for an assessment. Has anyone had similar problems, or taken their young toddlers to an OT before?

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Rebecca - posted on 05/13/2010

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my daughter has started the same thing she will hit things and head butt things me included if im holding her my home visiting nurse explained that it was because shes still unable to understand how to express her feelings its just something they need to grow into learning .. when my daughter does hurt me i know she still dosent understand what she is doing and the consequences its just something she will lear as time goes buy

Connie - posted on 05/13/2010

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all kids go through a stage where they use aggression in frustration but...hurting people because he can should not be tolerated. likely he is looking for attention, at that age they care not whether it is good or bad attention as long as they are getting it. ignore the fits, i know it is hard but walk away. tell him he needs to use his words, tell him you will talk to him when he calms down. if he hurts someone let the consequence be time by himself, he is too young to talk to like an adult, too young to understand a lecture on right and wrong, he must see and feel the conseqences of the action he chooses. on the other side, when he does act well or make a good choice let him know. let the attention he finds be in response to good choices. be consistant. i would turn to outside intervention last, he is still very young and i know that my 4 year old still does not always have the vocabulary or the knowledge to deal with all that she feels but it doesnt last long in the long run. best advice i ever got was, pray hard, good luck and God bless!

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