Any advise? Please no hateful remarks.

Debra - posted on 09/14/2010

Hi! I can certainly understand your dilemma, though I can tell you from my own experience, having your 3rd while your 2nd isn't walking is absolutely do-able. My first two boys were 15 1/2 mos. apart, and my 1st didn't take his first steps until the day #2 was born. I still carried both boys quite a lot, but I also had a tandem stroller which was the love of my life, lol! You don't know how long it may take to conceive, it may be right away, it may not be. As long as you have patience (I already know you have a lot of love), you will be just fine. I wish you peace and happiness with whatever choice you make.... it will be the right one for you!

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2010

Thank you to all of you who have givin me helpful advise and to those of you who support me. But it seems as though too many of you have misunderstood the question, and I have made several attempts to fix that problem but it seems no one is reading my attempts. I did not ask if I should have one now or wait years. So those of you who said not to have a 3rd at all or wait more years, thank you but that was not the question. Weather or not the stress gets worse or not, I will have to deal with it. It is part of being a mom. I can deal with anything that is thrown my way. Even if it is more than what I expect, so what. I will have to deal and so will my husband. It is just a risk we are both willing to take in order to bring another beautiful child into this world. My family is not complete and I dont plan, no will I, wait years to complete it. Therefore I am asking that no more replies be posted to this question. I appreciate everyone who replied but this question was taken in a way that was clearly stated the exact oppisite. I clearly said on several occasions, I do plan on trying between now and Feb. No doubt about it. But thanx again to everyone. PLEASE NO MORE POSTS TO THIS QUESTION.

Melinda - posted on 09/13/2010

Tiffany,
I believe that if you are drawn to trying for another child then right on!!! From what I know of Spina bifida, the chances of another child being born with it are remote. Especially if your first child is healthy!
The way I see it, if you and your husband are both in agreement that you want to try now the go for it!!!

Wish you both lots of luck!!
Melinda Amberson

Sophia - posted on 09/13/2010

I would say wait a bit. You really won't know how affected your daughter will be until she grows a bit. She may require more intervention then you had planned, which could become stressful and become more than you both can handle. I say get her evaluated for special services. She should be able to get OT and PT. After her getting services for 6 months I would revisit getting preg. If she is progressing nicely, talk to the OB/GYN about risks and what you can do to prevent spina bifida in future pregnancy. Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for. Also remember the decisions you make with affect you and your husband but also the 2 kids you already parent. Best of luck

Sharon - posted on 09/13/2010

I had an IUD. I became pregnant and had my son exactly 8 months to the day of having my IUD removed. He's fine. If you want a 3rd child, go for it. It may take a few months before you get pregnant, so by Feb. you may or may not be. Good luck at the Dr. appt.

Brandy - posted on 09/13/2010

aww..first kudos to u having kids close in age..i couldnt ever do that..lol..i believe if u want another child..go ahead..try..god wont give u nething u cant handle..if nething else get a 3 sitter stroller..that way u can look at all 3 of ur pretty babies at once..go head and try..whatever makes u and ur fam happy..

Janelle - posted on 09/13/2010

My advice, is to just empty your minds and ask for Guidance from the Lord. He will let you know when the time is right for another child. I myself would wait until after, or just before the dr. appt, because I'd want to be sure that I can do what I have to for the little one. (I slept alot during both my pregnancies) Good luck and blessings to you and yours.

Sara - posted on 09/13/2010

Have you thought about spreading them a bit further? Those little ones grow up so fast then it's all over too soon. Also, it's fun for the sibs to be old enough to truly enjoy their new brother or sister. You sound too rushed. Even if your little girl was 100% healthy I would wait.

Sherri - posted on 09/13/2010

Start now. Since both you and your husband want to try for another, go for it. No reason to wait, as even though you could get pregnant right away, it could take a year.

Amanda - posted on 09/13/2010

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Amanda - posted on 09/13/2010

Go for it, start trying now. Life will challenge you in so many ways. I know you like the gap between your first two but it wouldn't hurt if your kids were even closer in age, they'll be the best of friends. I'm kinda in your situation too; I really want to have another baby soon, but we're going to wait until we are finished with school.
Good luck!

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2010

either way it sounds like your be happy....sometimes God has final say....Per time or,sex of child or,health.Stand strong and be happy of whatever,your given.Children are gifts from God(he knows)

Kristi - posted on 09/13/2010

Dont let the "peace" you have now fool you into thinking that life will always be peaceful. Mine was too until I had my 3rd. Ive always loved the "noise" of kids and a busy home, but now that I have 3...my tolerance level has wained greatly. The stress is enormous. And we all suffer from it. Just keep your positive attitude and maybe you will be blessed w/ a calm 3rd child and your world will remain somewhat peaceful. :)

Alexandra - posted on 09/13/2010

you really dont know when she is going to fully walk. if your heart is telling you want another child now, go for it.

Stacey - posted on 09/13/2010

Hi I don't see a problem with the age gaps I have between 18mnths and 22 mnth age gaps between all my 5 kids. However folic acid deficiency is a cause of spina bifida and this can take time to build up in your system after pregnancy so if you already have a child with this condition I would be extremely cautious of getting pregnant again too soon. My step sister had a baby with severe spina bifida that did not survive and she was told to wait some time and build up her folate "stores" before trying again. I'm sure your Dr will discuss this with you though. All the best.

Tia - posted on 09/13/2010

If you want another one now, than your daughter walking shouldn't make a difference. Lots of kids don't walk at age 1. My daughter was perfectly healthy and didn't walk until 16 or 17 months. If it's not the right timing you probably won't get pregnant until the time is right anyway. The only thing I would warn you about is that 3 at such a young age it hard. I have three, 4 and under. Not that shouldn't go ahead with it, I love having my kids close together, just prepare yourself. Try and have a support system in place cause you're going to need a break once and awhile and that's ok.

Cj - posted on 09/13/2010

Either way you want to and will have another child, I say go for it now. No matter what you decide you will get a ton of negative feedback. So do what will complete your family. Good luck!!

Kristi - posted on 09/13/2010

well i think if u do get out and become pregnant right away then it was meant to happen even if you don't u still know that u want another baby so u go for it and pray and hope that ur daughter is doing well but that is all u can do good luck and i hope all goes well with ur daughter

Lyndrea - posted on 09/13/2010

I think if i was in your position, i would wait till my daughter was a bit more advanced, maybe not entirely walking, since i know you dont want to wait too long, but at least until you know a bit more about her progress

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2010

im not asking people to tell me what to do. im trying to get others prespectives to see if there is anything i havnt thought about before we make our for sure decision. and btw, if your not going to answer the question accordingly, please dont post anything at all. I would greatly appreciate it.

Kathleen - posted on 09/13/2010

I think this is an EXTREMELY personal decision and wouldn't even think about giving you advice... I know I wouldn't want anyone other than my husband helping me to make such an important decision for our family...

Ashley - posted on 09/13/2010

If you're at the time you want to start trying so you have a certain age gap in children, i don't see why not start trying. I personally believe that when God feels you're ready to get pregnant again, it will happen. I would take the mirena out and start trying just don't stress about it because the "practicing" is the fun part ;) I pray for you guys that your daughter has great progress between now and the birth of the next baby :)

Lovica - posted on 09/13/2010

Do what your heart tells you. If you wait or go ahead is a private option and the babies love one another anyhow. They would all learn from the experience and the love you give them makes all the differences.

Yurena - posted on 09/13/2010

Follow your heart...and carry her in a buggy plus extra cuddles for all!!! Lots of love and luck with everything. My 2 children are 17 months apart, I was very tired but now I'm starting to enjoy them more and try to stress less, he's 2 and 1/2 and she's just over 1.

JESSICA - posted on 09/13/2010

It's really good to see there's still planned pregnancy's...Go for it and good luck...

Lexi - posted on 09/13/2010

I don't understand why anyone would give ou any hateful remarks. Just because you've got a baby with a slight difficulty is no reason you can't love and care for another. If you feel ready and capable, start trying!

Courtney - posted on 09/13/2010

Do what ever you feel in your heart is right and everything else will fall in to place. Have faith that everything will be alright and I'm sure that your daughter will suprise you and start walking soon. Good luck!

Amber - posted on 09/13/2010

I say try when you want to. It doesn't matter if you get pregnant, have another baby and your daughter is still not walking at that time. Many people, including myself, carried around more than one child who could not walk yet ( I have twins). It you want to have three children close together in age then start trying now. My sister-in-law has 6 children from ages 7 to 2 years and the youngest has a severe heart defect, she was born with hypo-plasty-left-heart-syndrom (it means she has 1/2 a heart), and she is able to take care of all of her children just fine even if she still has a load or two of laundry that did not get done when she goes to bed. I get wanting to have kids close together. Me and my siblings are all about a year and a half apart except for one of my sisters and myself. We are 10 months apart and have always loved the fact that we were the same age for a little while every year. People who have known us our entire lives still ask if we are twins.

Lana - posted on 09/13/2010

going from 2 to 3 is a huge difference! Do what feels best for your family, your kids - what ever happens will be the right and best choice for you! You sound happy and dedicated to your kids and will be able to deal with what ever comes your way.

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2010

Our son has no problem with our daughter having spina bifida. It dont effect him, nor us, nor her. and the drs said there is no more of a chance for our next baby to have spina bifida than anyone elses. And if the next has it, or anything else, then yes i can handle it. Disibilities is not a big deal to me. I NEVER stress over myu little girl. Stress dont fix anything, and it dont change the fact that she has it. Nor will putting my life on hold because she is delayed in walking.

Patti - posted on 09/13/2010

if it's meant to be it will....you might want to focus on the 2 you have. how is your son taking the difficulties/time with his sister? what is the possibility that your 'new' baby is not afflicted as well? can you deal with two with a disability?

Stefani - posted on 09/13/2010

,.I think you and your husband seem to have a healthy outlook on this.God doesnt give us more than we can handle. You should go ahead and have the IUD removed and let Mother Nature take its course. Good luck and God Bless!

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2010

No offense to ANYONE but I am not asking if I should have a 3rd child or not. So thank you but no thank you to those of you who gave the advise to not have a 3rd at all, or those of you who said wait a few years. My 2 kids I have now cause NO STRESS at all to me. My house usually stresses other company because I love for my house to be full of screaming laughing yelling kids. I know they are having fun if they are being loud. I even start screaming and running thru the house with them. And once again to everyone, my daughter needs no special attention. If she needs to go somewhere i pick her up and take her there and sit her down. She has no mental issues at all like lots with spina bifida does. She is a normal baby just some weakness in her legs. Stress is not an issue with me. And my marriage is no where near at risk. Haha, me and my husband both say there isnt any point in leaving eachother cuz no one else could stand us. lol. me and my husband are great and have been since we were 15 years old. No amount of stress ever gets betweens us, and believe me there have been plenty of it. but never over the kids. I WILL start trying at least by Feb. and my son, several have mentioned waiting till he is able to help, he has helped me with my daughter since the day she was born. He is ver advanced for his age, and im not justbsaying that cuz he is mine, he is really advanced. I have even cought hiim up in the middle of the night giving my daughter her bottle when she woke up. I said, "Aden what are you doing" He replied, "Baylee cryin. Night Night" and he went and got back in the bed. lol. I have even let him make a bottle of formula before. He has always sat and watched me and he memorised how many scoops and what order to do everything in and asked me one day if he could do it and he did it all right. His help is not an issue. He does more than I could ever imagine. And he was the one who brought up having a 3rd in the first place. lol. So bottom line is, Stress is not, nor will ever be an issue. I do not allow stress to get in the way or my parenting, and help is not of concern either. I have plenty of that. But either way, help should not be of concern because it is not my other childrens responsibility to care for their siblings. If I need help then i will just have to suck it up and deal with it till my husband gets home from work. It will be my choice to bring the baby into the world therrefore it is MY HUSBAND AND I's responsibility to take care of the child. not the siblings. they only help with what they ask to help with. and if i ask aden to do something for me that refers to Baylee, and he says no, i let it be. Thats the only thing he can tell us no about when being told to do something without getting in trouble. My question in the begining i believe was misunderstood by many. I AM going to have another. I wanted advise to help me make my decision on now or in Feb.

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2010

Well I think that if you and you're husband are on the same page then you need to do what you both feel will work for your family. Sometimes having a child who needs extra attention in areas can be tough on parents and a marriage also. But what sounds great is that you and your husband aren't afraid to keep your family growing. I completely understand your concerns but I'm sure you both have a "huntch" either to have another now..or later. So follow your intuitions and good luck.

Patty - posted on 09/13/2010

From your post, it is evident that you both want to start trying now. If it's meant to be, it will happen, if not, it will take a little longer to get pregnant. It's as simple as that. My two youngest are 15 mos apart & while I had no physicial issues & my middle one was very petite, the doctors still told me to stop picking her up or carrying her when I was a few months pregnant. For you it may be different but my doctor just said my body didn't need the additional stess. I'm a firm believer in prayer & giving this issue to God. From all appearances you've made the choice for the 3rd child. Let God take care of the timing.

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2010

I have 3 girls way apart in age, 27-17-11. I feel it might be too much stress on your family right now to have another baby so soon. Its good for kids to learn to help with an new sibling you might want to wait til your son is 5 or 6. He can help you! Just little things even if its singing to his new baby - it really makes life easier. Especially you little girl she needs your attention.

Heidi - posted on 09/12/2010

My best and prayers to you, and your growing family. Why not wait and enjoy both your children now? Plus, give it a little longer to see how your baby girl will progress. That also gives you time to talk with doctors, make the appointments with the OB-GYN for consultation, as well as any other professional advice you may seek. February, is just around the corner. This a BIG decision, bringing a third child into your home with two babies... one who is a "special need's" child. Don't do anything in haste. Plan well. . In any event, , ultimately, don't take any one's, "advice" . I don't know if you believe, or have faith in God, or a "higher power" but, if you do,...Pray about it. The answer will surely come. Best Wishes, Heidi :)

Shannon - posted on 09/12/2010

I have a 10mo old son who is starting to walk... well furniture cruise... and am 35wks along with #2... for me personally I see many tough times on me physically with the age diff but if you haven't had any difficulties in yours, I would say just go for what you feel is right... like you said, it may not even happen right away... it may not even happen in feb... so what about maybe a comprimise... take it out mid nov/dec... and try aroun then... you're closer to her appt in Feb and if it does happen right away, you'd still be early enough that if they say it'll happen in a mo, it wont be a physical hardship on you and the fetus versus now and being 6mos along when they tell you... hope that makes sense...

Debbie - posted on 09/12/2010

If both yourself and your husband want another baby, and your finances allow it, then I don't see any reason to wait. There is no guarantee it will happen straight away anyway. I know this from experience, as it took me 4 years (2 of those doing IVF) and 4 miscarriages before I was blessed with my first child.

I understand and respect your comments about not worrying about whether the next child will have a problem. My first son is now 3, and has been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. When he was 16 months old I was blessed with a surprise pregnancy, and my second beautiful son was born 2 weeks before my first turned 2. So far, he doesn't seem to have all the same problems that my first does, but only time will tell. We are now waiting for my second child to wean himself from the breast so that we can try for our third child. As we still have a frozen embryo left, we are going to try with it. This frozen embryo, if it works, will be the twin of my first child, and I have been told by the paediatrician that there is a high chance that it will have the same problems. But that is life, and if it's meant to be then it will happen. I just keep reminding myself that there is a chance it won't have any problems. If it does, then I will deal with it then.

Anyway, I just wanted to say good luck with your decision, and with your efforts to have another baby. I hope you are blessed with a happy, healthy baby.

Manifest - posted on 09/12/2010

Think you should just call it good...spina bifida is not a minor thing...did you not get all the tests while you were pregnant becuase you would have known about the spina bifida...and the more you have kids the higher your chances are at having even more problems...

Kristi - posted on 09/12/2010

I would definately wait until you hear what the doctors say about your daughters condition. You dont want to put too much on yourself while you are pregnant if there was something to come up that you need to deal with. With that said, I would go ahead and get your iud out soon and let your body get back to "normal". Give it time to have a couple normal cycles before trying to conceive. Meanwhile, use condoms or withdrawal and avoid sex the week of ovulation. I think 2-3yrs apart is great spacing as well. Good luck, hope it all works out.

Danielle - posted on 09/12/2010

I got pregnant when our son was 7 months old. When our daughter was born, my son was 16 months old and had only been walking for about a month. So I carried him my entire pregnancy and after having a c-section. You'll be chasing after her whether she walks or not so I say go for it.

Diane - posted on 09/12/2010

If you feel like now is the right time I say go for it, even if your daughter was bigger it shouldn't be an issue carrying her durring pregnancy unless you are having problems with premature labor or other complications.

Michelle - posted on 09/12/2010

My daughter started walking at 13mth, as a rule most children walk before their 18mth, hope this is of some help.

June Denise - posted on 09/12/2010

If you and your husband want another child, then i say go for it. I wish you and your whole family the very best. I also do not see any reason one would say something hatefull about your situation. Seems as though you already know what you want so i wish you the best in achieving it.

Cindy - posted on 09/12/2010

Proverbs 3:5-8. best advice i can give!

Lisa - posted on 09/12/2010

You have already made your decision! ; 0 )

Molissa - posted on 09/12/2010

I think what responses have read so far are all right. She's still within walking age, and like you said she will, just on her own time, or with help. By the time you're not able to carry her, she'll be walking. If you and your hubby feel like trying then don't wait! Good news always follows good news. Maybe when you do get pregnant, she'll start walking! Good luck.

Evelyn - posted on 09/12/2010

OKay, this is from an old great grandmother who has been around and very observant . I first thought, would this be fair to your daughter, since she need all your attention right now. then, after reading some of the other mothers cmments I say, Let God decide for you. Go ahead and try, if it is God's will then you will become pg in your wanted time fame but if not don't be disappoint, when the time is right God will decide. I had 5 pregnancies in 41/2 yrs I miscarriaged between all 3 of my living children and nearly lost the second son so you see why I say give it over to God.

Mary Ellen - posted on 09/12/2010

The only thing that counts is what you and your husband think you can deal with. We know that parents can raise six babies at once and some of them, if not all, have problems. As for walking, my brother is a year older than me and I walked before he did because he was born with a club foot. Mother stated that we played better together and then I became his teacher when it came to walking and getting into things. So go for it.