Anyone out there that works and has a voluntary stay at home dad??

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Gabrielle - posted on 01/12/2009

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My hubby would love to be a SAHD, but he makes a lot more than I do, and we both have to work, anyway. I love my daughter, but I think he'd be a much better SAH parent than I would. I do wish I had a little more time with her, but to do it all day every day would be way too much for me - I just don't have enough patience. My hubby is great at taking her places, hanging out with her friends and their moms, etc, but I do know it's not always easy being a dad with a kid instead of a mom. I think it's great that there are growing numbers of dad staying home. Maybe dads will start getting more respect for stepping up and we can have better role models for the younger generation.

Stephanie - posted on 01/11/2009

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My husband stays at home with my son as well. He was recently laid off (worked for AIG) due to everything going on in the economy and he loves it. It has really given them a chance to bond together. I think its great that husbands stay at home with the kids.

Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2009

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Quoting Julie:

My new husband and I are planning a baby, we are waiting until he retires from the Air National Guard in 15 months so that he can be a SAHD. He is very excited to be able to stay at home. Between us, we have 3 grown boys and 2 16 year olds and 5 grandbabies, call us crazy for starting over again! I stayed home with my daughter when she was a baby and it was hard, I don't want to do it again, I can't do it again. He is a morning person and I am a night person, so he will do all the morning and daily activites and I will take care of the evening and nightly duties. It is going to be great and we can't wait for him to retire!



That is fantabulous!!!  I'm excited for you guys.  I kind of want another one, but JR (my husband) says absolutely no more babies!!!  He uses the fact that he stays home as a reason.  It's okay, though.  I'll wear him down eventually:)  lol

Julie - posted on 01/10/2009

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My new husband and I are planning a baby, we are waiting until he retires from the Air National Guard in 15 months so that he can be a SAHD. He is very excited to be able to stay at home. Between us, we have 3 grown boys and 2 16 year olds and 5 grandbabies, call us crazy for starting over again! I stayed home with my daughter when she was a baby and it was hard, I don't want to do it again, I can't do it again. He is a morning person and I am a night person, so he will do all the morning and daily activites and I will take care of the evening and nightly duties. It is going to be great and we can't wait for him to retire!

Jennifer - posted on 01/10/2009

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Quoting Sarah:

Certainly here in Britain (I'm assuming you're all Americans??) men staying at home is becoming more common. I got 6 months (mostly) paid maternity leave and then went straight back to work. If I didn't I would have to pay it back!
Childcare here is reeeaaaly expensive.
What's it like in the US for maternity pay and childcare?



More and more dads are starting to stay home here.  As for maternity leave and childcare, maternity leave/pay depends on where we work and childcare is outrageously expensive.  Not to mention the fact that there are few truly good childcare centers/homes.  That's part of why one of us wants to stay home full time.

Melanie - posted on 01/10/2009

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I am returning to work next month and my husband will be home four days a week with our three year old and then three month old, I think he is a little bothered by that but I make more money so it makes sense, as far as housework he is sometimes pretty good but we'll have to see when it becomes a full time thing

Ahna - posted on 01/10/2009

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my husband is a stay at home guy, too. We swapped places when a great ob for me came up out of the blue. He has been home with our youngest since she was 6 mos. old. She is now 4. He does a great job! When I'm home, I am reminded of just how hard it really is to be home full time! But like you, Sarah, he refuses to clean the toilet or the floors. We have an agreement - if he keeps it tidy, I'll do the 'heavy' cleaning. lol. I'm pickier about how clean it should really be, so I guess that it's a good arrangement.
My husband started taking our youngest to McDonald's one day a week. Turns out there are lots of other dads who do the same thing. He has joined a sort of impromptu play group. It made sense - he went to where he thought other dads might be!
I think that we are both happy with the arrangement. We'll see what happens when our youngest starts school next year...

Sarah - posted on 01/10/2009

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Yeah, my husband won't clean the toilet. He doesn't dust or clean the oven or a million other little things that I would obsess about!!!

Rita - posted on 01/10/2009

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my husband was off 2 week this x-mas will i was working and everyday the house was a big mess you girl may be lucky with your husband but mine omg but not me i had the triple off work than usually and this summer he as 5 weeks off (get a part time job honey)lol. But i would never stop working to stay home with the kidz i need my indepence to and by working it gives me a break from evrything .i work 40hours a week and do almost everything at home and im happy about it

Sarah - posted on 01/10/2009

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Certainly here in Britain (I'm assuming you're all Americans??) men staying at home is becoming more common. I got 6 months (mostly) paid maternity leave and then went straight back to work. If I didn't I would have to pay it back!
Childcare here is reeeaaaly expensive.
What's it like in the US for maternity pay and childcare?

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2009

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Isn't that the truth?!?  My hubby really had an eye-opening experience when we changed roles, as well.  But he got to ease into it because we were both home all day at first.

Mary - posted on 01/09/2009

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We're in NE Ohio (just outside Cleveland) - not exactly where you would expect to find a SAHD. lol We're just planning on him staying home until our youngest starts kindergarten in 1 1/2 years. It's amazing how fast his opinion on what I did all day changed once we switched roles.

Ana - posted on 01/09/2009

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I've had to call my husband while I let him have a free day and i'm hysterical because I don't know what to do! I constantly ask him "well what do you normally do? when do they normally eat, play, etc." He laughs at me and says you're their mom do whatever you want. Sometimes he asks if I want him to come home early. I do but I end up doing my own thing anyway.He's great doing what he does day in and day out!

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2009

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People just get stuck in the "old" way of thinking - that women should stay home and men should work.  lol.  Little do they know, raising kids and keeping a home is the toughest job of all!  hahaha.  I try to make sure my husband goes out with his buddy a few times a week so he gets a break.  I feel bad sometimes, cuz I get frustrated and flustered just spending the day with the kids on my own!!!  Now, though, I'm proud to say my husband is so awesome!

Ana - posted on 01/09/2009

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any chance you're in S.Florida?? lol.. He does all that too, we have an almost 3 year old and a 1 year old which always makes things more interesting.

Mary - posted on 01/09/2009

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Yep, after spending the last 3 years at home, I went back to work this summer and my husband is a self-described "house-husband" (he hates being called a SAHD because he does more than just be a dad at home. lol)



He does Gymboree, story time at the library, shopping... everything, with our 3 year old (our 3 other kids are all school-age.) As far as I know (and I've actually asked him about it), he hasn't heard any negative comments - other than his friends who tease him that his wife earns 2x what he does. He's met a rather surprising number of other "at home" dads over the past 6+ months, too.

Ana - posted on 01/09/2009

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I can't believe when I hear people tell him that he should be working. I see when i'm home how much effort and energy he uses and I honestly think I'd go crazy.

My concern is that he gets grief when he takes the kids out and he has no one to socialize with. Other moms suddenly leave or keep their kids really close. I see it when i'm with him and other dads come in with their kids.

We have tons of mommy and me classes. My husband even tried to join here and it wouldn't let him because it was for mommies only! lol... they deserve so much more support from the community than what they get.

Nicole - posted on 01/09/2009

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my hubby enjoys being home with the kids and i agree im at a time in my life that i like working i cant live with daycare brain any longer.....

Sarah - posted on 01/09/2009

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I totally agree! It's taken me a long time to admit to myself that I prefer working to looking after my children. I love them but it's hard work. Karl has soooo much more patience and energy!

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2009

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Mine is way better at it then me, too.  I get a few "he should be working" comments now and again.  I just laugh and say "what do you mean?  He works harder than me!"

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2009

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I work and go to school full time and my hubby is a stay at home daddy/husband.  He's wonderful!  He cooks, he cleans, he takes care of me and the kiddos.  It's fabulous!!!  We have an almost 6 year old girl and a 3 year old boy.  Hubby takes Emerald to school and karate and hauls Blade around everywhere with him.



Do any of you ever get grief from people because your husbands stay home?

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